| jokes |
| Q: "What did Jasper have to eat at the seafood restaurant?" A: "Rocillia" (see crab history) |
| Q: "Why did the crab cross the crabitat?" A: "I don't know, but he went in a straight line." (see crab quirks) |
| Q: "Why did Goliath suddenly yell, "MS. CLEO?"" A: "Because she told him to "call me now."" |
| Q: "What do Jasper and Hannibal Lector have in common?" A: "They both had an old friend for dinner." (see pet history) |
| Q: "Why did Ahab care so much that he molted?" A: "Because it was skin off his back." |
| Q: "What did Gigantor dress up as for Halloween?" A: "An exoskeleton." |
| Q: "What is Ahab's favorite Christmas song?" A: "All I want for Christmas are my two left legs." |
| Q: "What do hermit crabs use for currency?" A: "Sand dollars." |
| Q: "What disease is the number one killer of hermit crabs?" A: "Cancer." |
| Q: "Why did Stumpy go to the seafood restaurant?" A: "Because they had a special on crab legs." |
| Q: "Why are hermit crabs so well-behaved?" A: "Because they are afraid of going to (s)hell." |
| Q: "On an invitation to a hermit crab party, what does BYOB signify?" A: "Bring your own barnacle." |
| Q: "Why did Ahab get arrested?" A: "She was caught streaking." |
| Q: "Why are hermit crabs dangerous to eat?" A: "They sometimes have claw and mandible disease." |
| Q: "Why are so many hermit crabs on Prozac?" A: "Because they are diagnosed with chronic crabbiness." |