Quotes

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.
That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. --Ernest Hemmingway

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
* Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're
sober.
* William Butler Yeats

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
his fools.
* Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to
keep your mouth shut.
* Ernest Hemingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
* Dean Martin

Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
* Anonymous

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as
drink.
* G.K. Chesterton

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
* Catherine Zandonella

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself
a pleasure.
* Ambrose Bierce

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
* Anonymous

Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that
truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.
* Ross Levy

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
her.
* W.C. Fields

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
* W.C. Fields

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
* Anonymous

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
* David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
* Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
* Henny Youngman

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of
the time and have the time of your life.
* Michelle Mastrolacasa

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
* Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
* Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
* Brian O'Rourke

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it
helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons,
but at the very least you need a beer.
* Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has
taken out of me.
* Winston Churchill


Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol
than alcohol has taken out of me. --Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer. --Plato

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. --His reply

When I read about thee evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer,
I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. --Deep Thought, Jack Handy

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart

I drink to make other people interesting. --George Jean Nathan

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to
spend time with his fools. --For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me
- so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
--Homer Simpson