Insult List

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.
A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.
After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion..
All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?
Alone: In bad company.
Any friend of yours ... is a friend of yours.
Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
His brainwaves fall a little short of the beach.
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
His origins are so low, you'd have to limbo under his family tree.
His personality's split so many ways he goes alone for group therapy.
I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter but now I see you are not worth it!
I believe in respect for the dead; in fact I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
I bet your mother has a loud bark!
I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?
I don't want you to turn the other cheek. It's just as ugly.
I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
I hear you are an officer. Your rank is - just plain rank!
I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club cause they need someone to snub.
I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?
I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?
I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!
I heard that your brother was an only child.
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame!
I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!
I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
I reprimanded my son for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
I will defend to your death my right to my opinion.
I worship the ground that awaits you.
I would have liked to insult you, but with your intelligence you wouldn't get offended.
I would like the pleasure of your company but it only gives me displeasure.
I'd like to give you a going-away present...but you have to do your part.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have a place to put it!
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
I'd rather pass a kid