Life Of The Party (COMPLETE!) By: spoiledsquish A/N: I was inspired to write this fic after seeing Amberina's B/A video done to the song Paradise by Vanessa Carlton. This is a sad fic! Pairings: Buffy/Angel, Angel/Eve, Buffy/Spike friendship. Rating: PG-13. Dedication: To James Marsters, who renewed my love for him by going back to his Buffy S2 attitude. Spoilers: Everything up to Angel Promo of S5 Halloween Episode Summary: This is the true outcome of what happened during the "Life Of The Party" episode when Angel and Eve had sex. Distribution: B/A Lovers United, Fanfiction.net, Enchanting Place, and anyone else who wants it! ************** Chapter 1: Paradise Summary: Buffy came straight to L.A. after finding out Spike was alive. What happens when she catches her true love in bed with someone else? ~Los Angeles, California: November 1, 2003~ Life is never easy. I learned that a long time ago. I learned to deal with the pain and hide it so well that I was never prepared for the inevitable. Spike always told me to be alert and never let my guard down. He was right. I can't believe I just said that. Spike was right about something that I was never, could never be prepared for.. I came to L.A. yesterday to originally see Spike. I'd heard he was back from a not-so-reliable source and I was intent on seeing him. He was my best friend and he died. It was something that never should have happened, and a part of me will never forgive myself for letting him die. Anyway, I followed the A.I. group to some hotel, where Angel's green demon friend, Lorne, was holding a party at. No one really noticed me and if Angel was able to sense me, he sure didn't act like it. I watched Angel and that girl, kissing, and no one seemed to be shocked. Spike just laughed it off and went about his drinking at the bar, Gunn was checking out some chick, and Wesley and that girl Fred were too engrossed with each other to even give a damn. I watched as they disappeared into the shadows, not wanting to follow them. Who would? I'd already felt ashamed for macking it up with Spike a couple years back, and there was no telling what this was going to do to my head. When the party was over, that's when I confronted Spike. We embraced briefly, exchanged a few words, and found Angel's coworkers. No one knew where those two were at. We all went off in search. Wes, Spike and I were the first to locate them. They were on the floor of his office apartment, 'getting some' as Spike had put it directly. I couldn't even look at him. I ran out of there and refused to listen to any logical explanations. What could he possibly say that would've made it better? He hasn't come to find me yet. I don't expect him to apologize. In fact, I expect the first words out of his mouth to be "I'm sorry". It's the same old song and dance, really. Bad timing. I guess that maybe Angel and I were never meant to be together. Or maybe we were and that's why it hurts so much. I just--I don't know anymore. When he first left me back in Sunnydale, I never actually expected him to follow through. Then at Thanksgiving..Walking away from him after still remembering all that we had.it was and still is the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. I was never able to open myself up to any man after that. If I could have, I might have been able to love someone else. How could I, though, when my heart still belonged to him? Knock, knock. There it is. The not-so-inevitable knock at the door. I didn't expect him to find me this soon. Give or take a day at least. I answer it and find Wesley at my door. So not the face I was expecting to see but the next words out of his mouth tell me something I never thought I'd hear my ex-watcher say to me. "Welcome home, Buffy." And I realized something for the first time. I really was home. Home is where your heart is, right? ****************** Chapter 2: Always Summary: What went through Angel's head while he was getting pelvic with little Miss Evil-Replacement from Wolfram and Hart? What happens when you finally realize that you might actually lose the only person you've ever really loved? ~ November 1, 2003~ It's over. That's all that I can think about right now. Buffy and I are over...forever. It was all because of my stupidity, and of course, Lorne suggesting that Eve and I have sex. Why didn't I stop? I used to be able to control my emotions. Now, I can't even face her. I've managed to do what I always do to the ones I love...cause them pain. I killed my son, and then ruined only woman I ever loved. I never knew love until I met her. She was all the things I wasn't and all I could ever hope to be. She was the sunlight to my darkness, the happiness to my grief, the...and God, I can't believe I'm about to say this, the Joey to my Dawson. Then I blew it. I left her so that she could find someone else. I know that a part of her always and will always never forgive me for that. I mean, why should she? In addition to that, I erased the only day that we were ever truly happy. She'll never even remember that, not unless either Cordy or Wesley open their mouths. I know that will never happen, not now that Cordelia's in a coma and Wesley wouldn't dare to go up against me after what happened with Connor. Seeing her face after knowing that I could never give her the one thing she wanted...It tears me up inside. Not to mention that it was with a girl that I couldn't give a fuck what happens to. Spike was there, cheering me on until he saw her face. He loves her almost as much as I do, and if he could've staked me right then and there in order to ease her pain, he would've done it in a heartbeat. I would've urged him on, in fact. I need to see her, need to feel her, breathe in her sunshine-filled hair. I know she'll probably never forgive me; I can't even forgive myself. I've lost the one thing I wanted in 250+ years of existing..I've lost love. Or at least I thought I had until Darla surfaced early this morning. She told me the two things I'd forgotten in all my years of existing. Number 1: "Love is Forever." Number 2: "Love means never having to say you're sorry." For once, Darla was right. ********************* Chapter 3: Justice Summary: What exactly was the liaison thinking when she got pelvic with Angel? Why does she despise Buffy and loathe Spike so much? ~November 1, 2003~ I failed. Thats all I`ve heard from the Senior Partners for the last twelve hours. Angel`s soul is still in tact, and all I got was a lousy roll in the sack. All my big privileges have been revoked. No killing, no maiming, no hitting on any coworkers, except the Slayer-loving Scourge of Europe. Trust me, the sex wasn`t even that great. All I heard throughout the act was "Ooh, yeah" and "I love you, Buffy." Can you say 'make me yack'? You think I even care about what some vampire Slayer gets off on? Then said stupid bitch has the audacity to barge in with Angel`s friends just as I`m about to climax. I wasn`t even able to get my pleasure from the whole thing. Although, I must say, that the look on blonde Slayer`s face was indescribable. Such agony and despair, knowing that I could fuck her lover into oblivion before they even had a shot a reconciliation. I`ll have to admit, her pain made me feel a slight tinge of victory. Stupid brute that the vampire was, he wouldn`t even finish what we started. Barely inserted Tab A into Slot B when those lame ass friends of his barged in. The Senior Partners only sent me to make sure Angelus came out to play. Now, with that Blonde Slayer-bitch back in town, there`s no possible chance of his alter ego coming out to wreak havoc, unless of course the Slayer does herself though. She`s not that stupid. They went through it once and I`m more that positive she doesn`t want to repeat said experience. Someone needs to take that bitch out. Someone that can`t be traced back to the Senior Partners or me. We`ll get her, I promise you that. She`s just a stepping stone in their plan for Angel. We`ll take her out, preferably with lots of blood and lots of torture. You know what they say.... Vengeance is a beautiful thing. **************** Chapter 4: Touched Summary: How would you feel, knowing that you were partially responsible, for breaking up soulmates? Would your conscious eat away at you? Could you ever forgive yourself or want anyone else to forgive you for something this traumatic? ~November 1, 2003~ I'm responsible for their pain. My stupidity cost Angelcakes the one thing he wanted most...His love. If I hadn't suggested that Angel and Eve get a room, none of this would've...could've happened. Buffy wouldn't have seen Angel having sex with another woman, Angelcakes wouldn't be so heartbroken, and I wouldn't have this guilty conscience eating away at my heart every moment. I thought I knew what kyerumption was the moment I saw Angel and Cordelia training together. I coaxed Angel to go for it, distinctly ignoring what Angel's feelings were screaming out for. Until I saw that little cute Slayer's face, I never realized how much those two were the true definition of kyerumption. There was all the elements of heartbreak in their relationship, but there was also something else... Everlasting love. Not many couples have that anymore. Would you die for the one you love to let them live? Most people wouldn't. Those two gave up everything to be together and it was never enough for the Powers That Be. I need to make this right. Not because I want to clear my guilty conscience clean, but because it's the right thing to do. I see that now. After all, if you really love someone, wouldn't you overcome all obstacles to be together, consequences be damned? ********************* Chapter 5: Devotion Summary: If you were to see your boss and friend making a huge mistake, how would you stop it? Or would you just let him make that mistake and deal with the repercussions? ~November 1, 2003~ When Angel mentioned her, he never went into too much detail. Now I see why. Gorgeous girl like that, who would want to forget her? I saw the look on her face when she found them. Heartbreak, resentment, anger. I never saw that with Fred, even after we killed that professor. I think That's part of the reason our relationship wasn't the real deal. I loved Fred, part of me always will. Thing is, though, she doesn't realize that she's in love with Wesley. Always has been, always will be. Back to the big issue at hand. Angel made a huge mistake, sleeping with Eve. I'm not condoning what he did, but none of us expected his ex to find them having sex on his apartment floor. I knew, though. I was close by when Lorne so blatantly told them to get a room. I could've convinced Angel to stop it. But I didn't. I tried to stall Buffy, when she arrived, but she wasn't fooled and I didn't want to go up against the best vampire Slayer in history. Now I ruined their relationship. The one chance my friend could've been happy, and I preempted it until further notice. I have to tell Angel that I knew beforehand. I just can't lie to my friend. He can kill me, torture me, beat me until I'm blue in the face but knowing that I cleared my head with him will be worth it. I mean, isn't that what family's all about? Being honest with the people you care about. ********************** Chapter 6: Witness Enter subhead content here Summary: How would you feel, knowing that you were a witness to something that you would never want to see? What would happen? ~November 1, 2003~ I never wanted to be a party to what I saw last night. Seeing Angel with that Eve, it just stumps me. Angel loves Buffy, and judging by the way Buffy was heartbroken over his betrayal, I'm confident that she loves him, too. Just like I love Wesley. I admit it. Seeing Buffy and Angel and knowing what this has done to their relationship, I just can't bottle up my feelings anymore. Dancing with Wesley last night...it felt so right, being in his arms. I have to tell him, but first I need to talk to Buffy. She seemed like a nice girl, the kind you'd want to be your friend. She's loyal, a great fighter. I can see that when she gives her heart to someone, she gives it fully. Now...I'm afraid for both of them. As soon as she saw them together, I'm not sure that they can ever bounce back from this. I want them to be happy, hell I even want Spike to be. I know that he can never be happy unless he's with Buffy, but she doesn't love him. He knows that. He told me so last night. I have to make this right. What was that line from the movie? "Love means never having to say you're sorry." I once told Angel that love was heartbreak and that was a good thing to avoid. I can see now the error of my ways. After all, what's a life without love? ******************* Chapter 7: Torment Summary: How do you feel, knowing that the woman you love was meant to be with someone else? Would you deliberately keep them apart or would you let her go because you want her to be happy? ~November 1, 2003~ Bloody Hell, I fucked up. I encouraged Peaches to do that Eve chick and then she walks in. 'Course it didn't help that I said "Good on you, mate." The whole scene made me look like an ass, too. Tried to comfort her after she ran out. Wouldn't let me. She doesn't want me. All she wants is him, someone that she can never have. Unless, of course, the bloke fufills the big prophecy 'promising' that if he behaves himself for a while, guy'll get a heartbeat. I kind of feel bad for them...actually, for her. I could give a fuck less about what Peaches wants or needs. Pet wouldn't even look at me after. I knew what her face would've held if she had. Disgust, hurt. Her big green eyes held nothing but resentment and betrayal after seeing what Captain Forehead did. I hate him. I envy him. He has the one thing I have never known, will never know from her...He has her love. She's always loved him. All the time while we were doing it, all she thought about was him. Even when she came, whose name did she shout out? Angel's. I know she, in her heart of hearts, knew that he was being prodded about the possibility of romance with Cordelia. Honestly, the girl has a nice rack. He almost went for it, too, until she got to the higher level status and lapsed into a coma. He came to Sunnydale that night for a reason. Did anyone honestly believe that he came to give her some damn amulet? No. He came to tell her that he loved her, that he always will. Somehow, conversation never amounted to that and she told me that she loved me. I could see it in her eyes, though. She loved me as a brother, someone who would always be there for her. She's right. I'll always be there for her, no matter what. She was never mine, she was always his. I'm letting her go. Maybe now I can finally find some peace in this Hell on earth. A part of me will always love her. She taught me how to live again. ******************** Chapter 8: Resolve Summary: As the mediator between the couple, whose side would you be on? How would you feel, knowing that soulmates who should be together aren't because of one mistake? ~November 1, 2003~ It's unfair. I've witnessed it firsthand for many years now. People who should be together aren't. Buffy and Angel both deserve to be happy and the only way that that can happen is when they're with each other. They've had many years apart. Too many, if you ask me. He left to find someone else, and from what I gather, that didn't really turn out too well. She broke up with that Riley guy, died and then started an unhealthy relationship with Spike that only consisted of sex. It didn't help that Angel was mooning over Cordelia at the time. Angel realized his true feelings though, when Cordy lapsed into her coma. He was her best friend, and that's all they'd ever be. Same with Spike and Buffy, though, if you ask Spike, I'm sure he'd disagree. They came to a conclusion. Their hearts would always belong to each other, even if they were with other people. I think that the reason why she came back last night was to talk to him. I'm pretty sure she had something important to tell him, but all of us were to busy doing our own thing to notice. Lorne was kicking it up with Sebassis, Gunn was flirting with some blonde-haired chick, I was too wrapped up in my feelings for Fred, and Angel was doing it with Eve on his apartment floor. Fred. She's the one thing in this town that still keeps me here. We have a connection, her and I, and I'm sure that after last night, she feels it too. I need to focus on the task at hand. Buffy is a key role in Angel's fight for humanity. In his Shanshu prophecy, she's mentioned. They're supposed to fight together, on the same side, during that time. I'm standing outside her hotel room right now. I knock on the door lightly, prepared for her to pummel me right then. She answers the door and stares, wide eyed. "Welcome home, Buffy." I blurt out. And she hugs me. She knows that she really is home for once in her life. Now we all know it, too. She's where her heart is, and that's really all that matters now. ******************************** -finished..now the next book