Title: Falls Apart 
Author: Isis Blue 
Started: December 11, 2003 
Completed: March 5, 2004 
Feedback: [email protected] 
Disclaimer: I certainly don’t own them, thank you for asking. 
Rating: mostly R, but NC 17 for one sex scene (which can be skipped) 
Pairing: B/A, A/?, B/? 
Summary: Set a few years after ‘Chosen’...Angel’s gained his humanity, but that doesn’t 
necessarily mean a happy reunion with his soulmate. 
Spoilers: There’s really not that many, basically through BtVS s7 ‘Chosen’ (for mentions of the events in the finale), 
and some general for AtS s5 (mostly the W&H concept, and 1 other thing), but to be on the safe side, spoilers through AtS s5 
‘Smile Time’. 
Distribution: my site (Vagabond Soul), and if you already have any of my fics, you may take this one, if not, please
 ask first. 
Author’s Notes: This is a future fic/Shanshu fic. It seems as though most times Angel Shanshu’s then immediately goes to 
Buffy and everyone goes on their merry way. So with this fic I wanted to throw some angst into that scenario. There are actually 
two endings to this fic. The official one, and the one that I prefer, doesn’t end with B/A together, but there is also an alternate 
B/A ending too. I know everyone prefers B/A together after all is said and done, but I hope you’ll read both of them. This fic 
also has a rather unusual (though not unheard of in the fic world) pairing involving Buffy, but that’s all I’ll say about that. Oh, 
and also, yes Spike did come back as he did in AtS s5, but I’m just not going to deal with that. 
Thank you: As always, to *Stars* for letting me bounce ideas off her and for beta’ing. And to Jade and Roz for doing a read 
through to let me know what they thought. 
Warnings: angst (lots of it), one sex scene, and some bad language 
 
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Part 1 
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The taxi cab screeched to a halt, sending its passenger in the back seat lurching forward. Not caring about the annoyed glare 
from his fare, the driver mumbled the cost of the ride and grabbed the cash thrust at him. He didn’t bother to help with the 
bags, just sat there until the door closed. The moment it did, the cab pulled away in a screech of tires, leaving his former 
passenger coughing over the smell of burnt rubber. 
 
On the curb, Buffy stood shaking her head. She hated cabs, or more rather, obnoxious cab drivers. It probably would have 
been safer for her to walk from the airport to her hotel than ride with that lunatic. At least she’d made it in one piece. If only 
she’d told Willow she was coming, she probably could have gotten a ride. Instead she’d let her trip remain a surprise. 
 
Sure, Willow had told her not to bother coming, but Buffy hadn’t seen her best friend in almost eight months. The redheaded 
hacker was now living in Tempe, Arizona, working for an upstart software company. She’d taken the job about a year after the 
final battle with the First. It hadn’t come as a shock, really. They were all tired and worn out. 
 
Once they’d left the crater formerly known as Sunnydale almost four years ago, the group of bedraggled slayers, witches, a 
Watcher, and several civilians had piled onto the bus and headed for the nearest hotel. They stayed there for several weeks. 
How? Buffy didn’t know. Giles had just told her he’d taken care of the cost but not where he’d gotten the money. She still didn’t 
know for sure. 
 
The core Scoobies, or what remained of them, had spent many nights talking during those days. Where were they supposed to 
go from there? That was the question of the hour, or as it had turned out, many hours. Not long after their arrival at the hotel, 
Xander had taken off, boarding a bus to wherever. No one had questioned it, knowing he needed some time after having lost 
so much in the previous months. Every few weeks he would call one of their cell phones and let them know he was okay. It was 
obvious he never planned on coming back. Eventually, he settled in a small town in Colorado and went back to doing construction
 work. They still talked to him, and visited, but he’d distanced himself from anything demon related. 
 
With the Watcher’s Council gone, Giles suggested finding a place to get things rebuilt. The slayers needed to be trained, and the
 few Watchers who hadn’t been killed needed a headquarters. Somehow, he’d gotten hold of a large, almost compound-like place
 in northern California. Again, he said nothing about where the money came from, though Buffy began to suspect he’d managed 
to gain hold of Council funds. So the group took off from their motel and traveled to the new headquarters. 
 
They turned the place into what outsiders would think was an exclusive private school for girls. The entrance requirement was hefty: 
you had to be a slayer to get in. It was a bit picky, but it was necessary. Giles had high hopes for the new Council and the many, many
 Slayers. Having experienced so much during his tenure as Buffy’s Watcher, he’d gained much insight into what worked and what didn’t. 
The remaining Watchers bristled at his revised tactics, but without Travers’ control they were forced to change, or quit. Some stayed, 
some left. 
 
The new slayers were trained and schooled on the premises of the new Council until it was deemed they were prepared for field work. 
At that time, they were assigned a Watcher and sent somewhere with demon problems. It was a bit hard on the girls, but most accepted
 it. They were all pretty much flying blind at the situation they found themselves in. Never had there been so many slayers, and never 
had the Council been in ruins. So they just tried to do the best they could, making changes as needed. 
 
For a while, Willow had stayed and been part of it all. Then Kennedy was killed not long after going on active duty. Buffy supposed it 
was the last straw for the oft afflicted witch. The demon world had in one way or another claimed all of her partners. First Oz and his 
need to deal with the wolf in him, then Tara to wanna-be villain Warren, and finally Kennedy to a hundred-plus year old vampire. It 
was just too much, so two months after her lover’s death, Willow had come to Buffy and Giles to say she’d accepted a job at a software
 company and was leaving. On occasion, she returned when help was needed, but for the most part, she immersed herself in her new life. 
 
As for Buffy, she too stayed for a while, not knowing what else to do with her life. She was the original Slayer after all. The life was 
wearing on her, though. Giles must have noticed because a year and a half after leaving Sunnydale he came to her one night and
 told her that maybe it was time she walk away. He stated that there were more than enough Slayers now, and that he hated seeing
 her forced destiny sucking the life out her. His words had shocked her and she didn’t know whether to hug him or cry. 
 
With freedom staring her in the face, Buffy had found herself clueless as to what to do. Who was she if she wasn’t a Slayer? What was 
she if she wasn’t a Slayer? Honestly, she had no idea. The last few years of her life hadn’t afforded her a chance to be anything but a
 fighter. She wasn’t quite sure she was prepared to leave the only world she knew. It was a tearful phone call to Willow that had pushed
 her to take the chance, to make a life outside of battling evil. 
 
The peace and happiness in the redhead’s voice as she spoke of simple things like going to work, watching tv, and hanging out with friends 
made Buffy yearn for what she had. She wanted to once again know what it was like to be just another person making their way in the world.
 The Slayer in her had been the dominant persona for so long, and she wanted more. She’d always been a Slayer, but there had to be more 
to life than that. 
 
Unfortunately, the problem was that there didn’t seem to be anything she could do. She was a college drop out with a trouble-maker reputation.
 What did she have to offer? Again, Willow had come to her rescue, pushing Buffy to pursue a hobby that she’d picked up after leaving Sunnydale: 
photography. It hadn’t been an intentional hobby, rather it was something she stumbled into by accident. 
 
Life on the Council compound had offered little privacy. Occasionally, needing time away from all the slayers, she’d begun taking long walks, and 
then at one point she’d started taking a camera with her because the grounds surrounding the ‘school’ were so beautiful. Willow apparently thought
 her pictures were great and told her she should find a job related to that. The hacker had then done what she did best; hacked. Buffy soon found 
herself with a college degree, and a rather nice resume. All courtesy of Willow. 
 
Taking the opportunity presented to her hadn’t been easy, though. She’d have been lying if she said she wasn’t scared. It was ironic, really. She 
could slay a vampire, behead a demon, and other such stuff, but she was ~scared~ of going out, finding a job, and making a life. But she’d done
 it. Mere months after Giles’ initial push, Buffy had a job at a small magazine in San Francisco, a cozy apartment, and a car (which she absolutely 
hated driving). It was all so foreign, but in the end, she loved it. 
 
There were no more nightly patrols, no more plans canceled because of demon problems, no more strange looks from people, none of it. Giles 
had firmly ordered her to leave it all behind. So she had. Well, as best she could. There had been two times she’d returned to the ‘private school
 for girls’ in order to help, but that was it. Buffy Summers, the Slayer, was of the past. Buffy Summers, magazine photographer and average woman,
 was of the present. 
 
So that’s how she’d been living her life for the last two years. Adjusting hadn’t been easy, but her new life was now second nature. And now she
 found herself in Los Angeles to surprise Willow with a visit. Her best friend was in LA on business for a few days and Buffy had decided to fly down
 to see her. When Buffy had suggested to Willow she come down, the redhead had told her no, that she’d be too busy, but Buffy hadn’t listened
 and planned her little trip unbeknownst to her friend. She needed a few days off anyway. Work had been keeping her extremely busy lately. 
 
With a final shake of her head, Buffy finally left her spot on the sidewalk where the cab had left her. She carried her bags into the hotel, checked
 in and paid for her room. Silently, she thanked her decently-paying job that allowed her to get a nice room to stay in for the few days she’d be in LA. 
 
After unpacking, and taking a short nap, she decided to go for a walk since it’d been so long since the last time she was in LA. Grabbing her camera
 bag, she strolled out of her room and headed for a park that she vaguely remembered was nearby. Maybe she’d be able to get some shots for an
 article the magazine was working on about nature conservation. 
 
Walking down the busy sidewalks of LA was strange, yet familiar. This place had once been her home, but that time seemed so foreign. Since then 
she’d only been back to LA three times, all because of Angel. His name brought a pause to her steps. She was back in his territory. She hadn’t really
 considered that before leaving San Francisco. Not that she didn’t think about him often, though. 
 
They hadn’t spoken since just after the big battle had occurred. Before the group began their sojourn to the Council headquarters they’d stopped in 
LA to let him know they’d won the battle. They stayed only a few hours, during which Buffy spoke few words to Angel. As much as she wanted to take
 comfort in his arms then, she’d known it would only make things harder. They couldn’t be together, and as she’d told him before the battle, she wasn’t 
yet ready to consider the future. 
 
Since then, she’d not spoke to him, hearing only occasional news through Giles about his triumphs in LA. Maybe she would stop in and see him while
 she was in town. Her life had greatly changed the last few years and maybe it was time for the two of them to face all of the things they continuously
 pushed aside. She’d have to debate that for a while, Buffy thought as she arrived at the park. 
 
Wandering around the recreational area under the bright sun and clear blue sky was refreshing after the annoyance of traveling from San Francisco. 
Every so often, she took a few shots with her camera of the dichotomy between the busy city streets and the peaceful quiet in the seemingly out of 
place piece of nature situated mere feet from the hustle and bustle of LA. The kids playing and couples having romantic picnics also provided nice 
pictures, but she probably wouldn’t be able to use them without consent forms. 
 
Watching the happy couples feeding each other strawberries gave her pause for a moment. A deep longing stirred within her over the blissful lovers. 
Her new life was great and all, but she shared it with no one, at least not on a romantic level anyway. Well, not that she’d tried to have a relationship,
 or even date. There just always seemed to be something holding her back, memories of true love and baking cookies, that prevented her from getting
 close to a man. It wasn’t exactly intentional, but it was done nonetheless. Who needed men anyway? All that angst, and hurt, and leaving. No, she didn’t
 need that. 
 
Finding an empty bench, she sat herself down and gazed around the park. It was a pretty nice place for being in a city. A small pond sat off to her left, 
a playground directly in front of her, and then a picnic area to her right. The trees were kind of small, but that was to be expected since they were 
probably only planted a few years before. 
 
As she let her eyes rove over the varying sights, she spotted a man taking a seat on a bench in front of the small pond. With casual interest, Buffy
 watched as the unknown man seemed to stare up at the bright mid-day sun glaring down at him. He looked so peaceful enjoying the simple pleasures
 of the natural world. It piqued her curiosity. 
 
Slowly, she raised her camera, intent on capturing the image as it would go nicely with the article on the benefits of preserving nature. Snapping a few
 wide pictures, taking in the man and the elements surrounding him, she finally allowed herself to use her zoom lens to take a peek at the ‘sun-bather’.
 Just as she was focusing the camera, the man’s head turned and looked straight at her. 
 
The stunned gasp that crept past her lips seemed inordinately loud to her ears. It couldn’t be. There was no possible way she could be seeing what it
 was that she was seeing. There had to be an explanation. She was going nuts. She just had to be. Maybe she’d spent too much time around the 
photo-developing chemicals. If she was hallucinating, though, it was a damn good one. 
 
Unable to move, she just stared, completely not comprehending the reality of the moment. At least not until the man stood and began taking 
steps towards her. It was then that the truth sunk into her dazed mind. 
 
“Angel?” she whispered in the barest of voices as her camera fell from her hands, held up by only the strap around her neck. 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
Part 2 
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“Angel?” she repeated louder this time, as though she needed to convince herself it was really him. 
 
 
It couldn’t be him, she kept telling herself over and over. But it was, and he was walking closer and closer to her still form. He was really there. 
Angel, her Angel, was only feet away, standing unaffected by the bright light of the sun. The only thing she could think was, how? Then he was 
there, right in front of her in all his muscular, gorgeous glory. 
 
 
“Buffy,” his sweet voice called to her. 
 
 
“Angel?” What was she, a broken record? 
 
 
“Hey,” he spoke also in shock at suddenly seeing his former lover. 
 
 
“I...but...you’re...how?” she finally settled on, voicing the resounding question in her head. 
 
 
Angel looked down, unable to meet her eyes. When he raised them again, he simply reached for her hand and lifted it until he could place
 it over his heart; the heart that was now beating. The unexpected finding made Buffy gasp and wildly pull her hand away. She took a step
 back from him, feeling suddenly faint. Nothing could have prepared her for the truth, that Angel was human. 
 
 
Her body began to sway, overwhelmed by the vivid reality staring her straight in the face. The sun suddenly seemed too bright, the air too
 thick. She stumbled backwards in her need to find something to grab hold of, but came up empty. 
 
 
“Are you okay?” the cause of her altered state questioned worriedly. 
 
 
“I-I...I’m...fine,” she stuttered uneasily, practically unable to look at him. “J-just need to...sit down.” 
 
 
Buffy nearly sighed in relied when her body came into contact with the bench she had previously been sitting on. Slowly, the world started to
 come back into focus, her heightened senses returning to normal. Her eyes followed Angel as he cautiously sat down on the opposite end 
from her, leaving plenty of space between them. She didn’t mean to stare at him, but it seemed like the only thing she could do. 
 
 
A multitude of thoughts began racing through her mind. Angel was alive, truly alive, as in heartbeat, sunlight, normal food alive. And he was 
sitting right next to her. Once upon a time, her every teenage fantasy had involved this very occurrence. Now that it had really happened, she
 was awe-struck. There were questions she knew she should be asking, but they were drowned out by the sheer exhilaration of seeing Angel
 in the sun. 
 
 
Ever so slowly, her hand crept forward until it once again landed on the steadily beating heart in Angel’s chest. It was a marvelous rhythm
 to her familiar fingers. She could still vividly recall the hollow silence that had once been there. How was she supposed to reconcile the
 idea that her vampire ex-lover was now human? Was there anyway to process that concept? If there was, her mind couldn’t seem to do it. 
 
 
“How is this possible?” she heard herself ask. 
 
 
If she’d been fully alert, Buffy would have noticed the guilty look that instantly spread across Angel’s face, and the downward direction 
his eyes went, but she didn’t. She was still stuck somewhere on Angel, sunlight, and heartbeat. 
 
 
“It...I, uh, I earned my redemption...I-I did enough good that my humanity was returned,” he finally answered after debating the question
 for a short while. 
 
 
“Human,” was the only word Buffy could force between her lips. 
 
 
“Yes,” Angel answered although it wasn’t necessary. He wasn’t nearly as dazed as Buffy by their sudden meeting, but even so, he was utterly
 shocked by it all. 
 
 
“You’re really human,” she spoke barely above a whisper, the hand that had been over his heart sliding upwards. 
 
 
The moment her silky smooth fingers glided across his cheek, Angel was lost. The rest of the world dimmed out of view and all he could see 
was her: hazel eyes, golden hair, tanned, muscular body. So familiar yet so completely new. Vaguely, he thought he heard himself mumble 
that she looked even more beautiful in direct light, but he wasn’t sure. He was too focused on the sensual pull of her eyes to his. 
 
 
His skin felt so warm and sun-soaked as her palm rested against his cheek. No longer was it so dissimilar to her temperature, but that realization
 hardly registered in her mind. Just as Angel was lost in her, she was lost in him. It’d been so long, too long, since she felt the all encompassing 
thrall of his presence, and now that she was near him again, it sensitized each and every part of her body. 
 
 
In the back of his mind, Angel knew there was something he should be telling her, that they should be talking, but the feeling was fleeting. The 
only thought he could grasp was that Buffy was inches away from him, her soft, pink lips beckoning to him. Unable to fight the urge, he heeded 
the call, leaning over until his mouth touched hers the slightest bit. 
 
 
Spontaneous combustion. That’s how either would have described it if asked later. The seemingly innocent brush of his lips upon hers set 
loose a firestorm of passion that quickly escalated. Mouths opened, tongues dueled, fingers tangled in hair greedily clambering for any touch
 to bring them closer. The camera that hung lazily around Buffy’s neck was haphazardly pushed around to her back, allowing their chests to
 press against each other. 
 
 
Buffy struggled to be nearer, completely forgetting the public setting, swinging a leg over and straddling his lap. Their mouths continued to 
battle, breaking only to gather much needed oxygen. Angel’s arms pulled her against him, her aching nipples rubbing against his clothed 
chest. At the same time, Buffy ground herself down on him. She could feel the insistent bulge of his arousal between her legs. 
 
 
“Angel.” The breathy moan encouraged him further as he trailed kisses across her chin and down her neck, stopping every so often
 to nibble on patches of her sweet skin. 
 
 
“Beautiful. So beautiful,” he murmured between kisses, rocking her against him. 
 
 
“Need you. Need you now,” was all she found she could say. 
 
 
“Where?” He couldn’t very well throw her down right here in the park. He could, he supposed, but he didn’t want anyone seeing her in
 the throes of orgasm except for him. 
 
 
“Hotel. Few blocks away,” she groaned as his fingers deftly pulled at her nipples through the light-weight sweater she wore. 
 
 
He didn’t bother to ask ‘what hotel?’ just clutched her in his arms and stood. Those nearby watched the odd couple as they stumbled out
 of the park, some with amused smirks, others with wide-eyed shock. How they managed not to fall was anyone’s guess. 
 
 
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The following section is rated NC 17.  If you don't want to read such material click the link below and it'll take you to the next section.  
You won't miss any of the plot by skipping it.
 
SKIP OVER THE SMUT
 
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The second the door to Buffy’s hotel room slammed shut, they once again attacked each other. Angel’s fingers bit into her hips, pulling her
 tight against his body as her hands clasped around his neck. Lost in the endless kiss, Buffy never even noticed that one of Angel’s hands 
had slipped between them and began unbuttoning her pants. It wasn’t until the cool air brushed her skin that she realized they were already 
half way off. Wanting the cumbersome garment out of the way, she kicked off her shoes and stepped the rest of the way out of her pants 
and underwear. 
 
 
Her nimble fingers eagerly reached to pull Angel’s shirt over his head. The smooth expanse of chest revealed once the cloth was gone
 mesmerized her lust-filled eyes. She couldn’t help but run her hands over the taut muscles. Leaning forward, she trailed her tongue up
 his chest, veering right toward one of his hardened nipples. The action resulted in a hoarse groan from Angel. 
 
 
Lost in the heat of the moment, Buffy barely was able to pull away so that Angel could remove her sweater. She was suddenly glad that
 she had forsaken wearing a bra that day. No need to waste time removing more clothing. 
 
 
Needing to feel her skin rubbing against his, Angel pulled her roughly against his chest, dipping his head down to capture her mouth in
 a fiery kiss. His fingers combed through her hair, down her silky back, coming to rest on her still nude bottom. He yanked her hips
 forward, pressing them tightly against his throbbing cock. 
 
 
Buffy gasped at the feel of his engorged organ against her thigh. She wiggled her body closer, pressing harder over his wool covered erection.
 Her tongue tangled with his for a moment longer before she abruptly pulled away and dropped to her knees in front of Angel. Without pause,
 she reached up and unbuttoned his slacks and pulled down the zipper. Aiding her movements, Angel hastily pushed his pants and boxers off
 his hips until they rested on his feet at the floor. 
 
 
He gazed down with heavy-lidded eyes and watched almost unbelievingly as Buffy’s pink tongue snuck out and lapped at his oozing cock. The
 moist, warm touch was his undoing. Not being able to take the tantalizing actions, Angel reached down and hauled Buffy up, barely conscious
 of his forceful movements. His hands clutched her ass, lifting her up against him. 
 
 
Buffy readily complied and wrapped her legs around his waist. Without hesitation, Angel thrust fully into her welcoming heat. Both groaned at
 the sensations elicited by their joining. It had been so long, too long, and for nearly a minute they remained still, luxuriating in the feeling of 
being united once again. 
 
 
A slight wiggled of Buffy’s hips brought Angel out of his trance. He raised his head and looked into her passion filled eyes before swooping down
 to capture her lips yet again. Their bodies staggered backwards, slamming into the door behind them as Angel plunged forcefully inside of her. 
The pain of her head banging against the wood never registered in Buffy’s mind. 
 
 
Their peaks built quickly, too overwhelmed by the feelings within them. Angel hastily slipped a hand between their bodies until he reached the
 moist nest of curls above her sex. It took only a few pinches of her clit before he felt her sheath flutter as she reached her climax. The 
rhythmic clenching around his cock set off his release and he came deep inside her body. 
 
 
They leaned against each other, panting in the aftermath of their orgasms. Angel carefully managed to lower Buffy to the ground before
 engaging her in another heated kiss. His shaft, still encased within her, hardened quickly as they once more lost themselves to the throes
 of passion. 
 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
 
The following morning, Buffy slowly drifted back to consciousness. She was immediately aware of the feel of coarse hotel sheets against 
her naked skin. Naked? Since when did she sleep naked? Had she gotten drunk the night before or something and shed her clothes before 
going to sleep? No, she hadn’t gotten drunk. It was the or something. Images of the day before began flashing through her mind. 
 
 
Angel. 
 
 
Angel and sunlight. 
 
 
Angel and sex. Lots and lots of sex. Everywhere. 
 
 
Her body flushed, heat zinging through her veins at the memories. There probably wasn’t a surface in her hotel room that they 
hadn’t made love on, or in some cases against: the door, the floor, the bed, the shower wall, and probably a few others, some 
more than once. If she didn’t remember the whole sordid event, then the absolute soreness of her body would definitely clue her 
in. It was a good kind of ache though. 
 
 
Yes, it was undeniably a good ache, one that caused her to smile in her still drowsy state. There was nothing for her not to smile about.
 Angel was now human, therefore curse free, and they’d spent many, many wonderful hours...reacquainting...themselves with each other.
 Not since the night of her seventeenth birthday had she felt so warm, complete, and well, satisfied. 
 
 
This was it. They’d finally made it. No longer were they forced apart by their natures, or gypsy curses, or friends and family, or the need to 
grow as people. They’d made it past all that, and now was finally the time for them. For so long she’d believed that they would never get 
this chance. There was just always too much in the way. But not any more. Happiness was knocking at the door and she planned on answering it. 
 
 
Starting right now. 
 
 
Eyes still closed, Buffy reached out her arm to pull Angel closer to her. She was startled to find the space next to her empty and cold. 
Her hand grasped around the sheets, hoping to come into contact with her lover’s body, but to no avail. Buffy briefly wondered if perhaps
 it had all been a dream. She was sure it wasn’t, though. Angel had been there with her, had made love to her. And now he was gone. 
 
 
Memories of her birthday came back vividly. The joy, the pleasure, and then the heart wrenching terror. It couldn’t have happened again. 
It just couldn’t. There was no way it was possible. So then why wasn’t Angel with her? Why wasn’t he holding her close? There had to be a 
reason. 
 
 
Fighting off the nauseating fear, she finally peeled open her eyes. The harsh sunlight blinded her momentarily, but through the bright glare
 she could make out Angel’s form near the window. All the tension that had seized every muscle in her body relaxed. He was still there. He 
hadn’t left her. 
 
 
Needing the reassurance of his strong embrace, she climbed out of the bed. The room was a little chilly so she pulled on the sweater she’d
 been wearing the day before which had been thoughtlessly thrown onto the desk chair. Once partially dressed, she padded silently across
 the room, coming to a stop just behind where Angel, dressed in only his navy blue silk boxers, was standing. In his quiet brooding, he
 hadn’t even noticed that she’d awoken yet. 
 
 
“Morning,” she murmured softly, her arms slipping around his waist. 
 
 
Angel startled at the contact, having been so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed she’d snuck up on him. 
 
 
“Sorry!” Buffy giggled unrepentantly, resting her head on his naked back. When Angel said nothing in response, she began to grow
 worried again. “Hey? You okay?” 
 
 
Still not speaking, Angel carefully pried himself from her grip before turning and walking toward the bed. He sat down wearily, not 
looking at her as he finally spoke. “Everything’s...everything’s fine.” 
 
 
Buffy’s arms crossed over her chest, her eyes boring into his retreating form. “Why don’t I believe you?” 
 
 
The instant he raised his eyes, she knew. It didn’t matter that she didn’t know whatever it was that was bothering him. She just knew 
that it was going to shatter her heart and crush every dream that had taken hold inside her mind. The look on his face was enough to
 tell her that. She should have known that something would go wrong. It always did. She wasn’t meant to have this kind of happiness in
 her life. 
 
 
Angel didn’t answer her. He just stared at her, waging, as she could tell, a mental war inside his head. The longer the seconds dragged out, 
the more she knew that whatever he had to say was going to be worse than she could have ever imagined. And suddenly she didn’t want to 
know. Just as soon as that thought came, he finally spoke. 
 
 
“I’m getting married tomorrow.” 
 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
Part 3 
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Buffy was sure for a moment that she’d heard him wrong. Married? Angel was getting married? No, that couldn’t possibly be true. He hadn’t 
just said that. It had to be her fears getting the best of her. Deep down, though, she knew she was just lying to herself. But she needed to 
hear it again just to be sure. 
 
“Y-you’re what?” she stuttered in a harsh whisper. 
 
He didn’t answer right away. Instead, Angel stood from the bed and cautiously walked toward her numb body. When he was a foot away, he
 finally repeated the words. “I’m getting married tomorrow.” 
 
This time she knew she’d heard him correctly. Angel, her Angel, was getting married. He’d made love to her all night long only to throw it
 back in her face by telling her he was getting married. How could he? How could he do this to her? How could he make love to her all the
 while knowing he was getting married? How could he get married to someone else? 
 
“I’m sorry,” he reached his hand out to grasp her arm. 
 
“Don’t touch me!” she snapped at him, trying to pull away but his grip on her arm tightened. 
 
“Buffy, please! We have to talk-.” 
 
“GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME!” Buffy screamed loudly, this time managing to twist away from him. She stumbled toward the bed, 
tears beginning to blind her vision. 
 
“Buffy,” Angel stepped toward her. 
 
“Get. Away. From. Me!” She backed up, her knees banging into the bed. 
 
Wildly, her eyes scanned the room, searching for an escape. She didn’t want him anywhere near her. She didn’t want to look into the eyes 
of the man who had just betrayed every single dream she’d ever had. He was supposed to be hers. They were supposed to have forever
 together. Wasn’t that the whole point? 
 
Obviously not if he was getting married. When had he given up on their hope? Why hadn’t he told her? How long had he been human? 
So many questions. So many answers that didn’t matter. He was getting married. To someone else. Period. End of story. 
 
“Please, Buffy...we need to talk,” Angel ignored her plea. 
 
“You fucking bastard! How could you?” Rage burned inside of her, blocking out any logical reasoning. Without thinking, she picked up 
the lamp on the nightstand and threw it at Angel’s head. 
 
The projectile glanced off his temple, creating a small gash, before shattering against the wall behind him. Angel stumbled back a step
 in shock over the violent action before regaining his balance. His hand reached up to touch the bleeding wound and winced when his 
fingers came into contact with the cut. Ignoring the pain, he again focused on trying to calm the raging blonde. 
 
“Buffy, pl-,” Angel hadn’t even finished the sentence when an alarm clock came flying at his head. This time he managed to duck before
 it connected with his flesh. 
 
“GET OUT!” Buffy half sobbed, half screamed in anger. 
 
Angel again ignored her words and walked toward her. He was only mildly surprised when her hand reached out and slapped him, causing
 his head to whip sideways. The Slayer strength blow on his very human body made his jaw ache, but he brushed off the pain. He knew he
 deserved it. He knew Buffy had every right to be furious with him. Still, he also knew they needed to talk. They needed to settle this 
 
Seeing Angel’s continued approached, Buffy darted away. “Don’t come near me!” 
 
“Buffy,” he sighed, running a distressed hand over his face. 
 
“Get. Out!” she ground out forcefully. 
 
“I’m sor-.” 
 
“GET OUT!” 
 
“Bu-.” 
 
“I. Said. Get. Out.” Buffy repeated, her whole body trembling because of the rage inside of her. 
 
Angel stared mutely at her for a minute longer for gathering his clothes and pulling them onto his body. Once dressed, 
he took a few steps towards the door before turning to face Buffy again. He didn’t want to leave things like this, but there 
didn’t appear to be any way of reasoning with her at the moment. 
 
“I’m sorry,” he dejectedly mumbled one last time. 
 
“GET OUT!” Her voice was hoarse as she screamed at him once more. “AND DON’T EVER COME BACK!” 
 
Sensing it was hopeless to try and talk to her now, Angel finally relented. Staring at her for a few seconds longer, he bowed
 his head and walked to the door. He fought back the urge to say anything else and instead left the room without another word. 
Once out of the room, he slumped against the closed door and startled when he heard and felt something shatter against it from
 the other side. With slumped shoulders, and a guilt laden conscience, he slowly walked away from the woman whose heart he had
 just broken yet again. 
 
Inside, Buffy collapsed to the floor sobbing the second the door closed. Her knees curled up to her chest as she cried for long held
 dreams that were forever shattered. She’d always hoped that they would someday have a chance. When he’d come to Sunnydale 
all those years ago before the big battle with the First she’d told him the truth when she said she needed to grow before she could
 think of the future. And now that she had finally begun to settle into life, now that all of the barriers that kept him from her were 
gone, now that all the doors were open to them, he was marrying someone else. She’d always thought Fate had it in for her, but 
this was the cruelest twist of the knife yet. 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
An hour later, Willow stood outside the door to Buffy’s hotel room having gotten a phone call from Angel twenty minutes earlier. 
She raised her hand to knock on the sturdy wood and waited for her friend to answer. When the door didn’t open, the redhead 
knocked again, but still received no answer. She knew Buffy had to be in there. The clerk downstairs told her that Buffy hadn’t 
checked out and he hadn’t seen her leave either. 
 
“Buffy?” Willow called out loudly. “It’s Willow.” 
 
Still no answer. “Buffy, please open the door.” 
 
Receiving no acknowledgement of her presence, Willow muttered a simple spell that unlocked the door and allowed her to enter. 
Upon moving into the room, an audible gasp fell from her lips. Everything was in tatters. Broken glass lay scattered around the 
floor, the small coffee table was tipped over on its side, what looked like sheets were shredded and piled on the floor in front 
of the bed, and her friend lay unmoving on the bed’s bare mattress. 
 
“Oh my God! Buffy!” Willow raced to Buffy’s side. “What happened?” 
 
The blonde neither moved nor spoke, causing Willow’s concern to increase. She carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and 
released a relieved sigh when she saw the steady rise and fall of Buffy’s chest signaling that her friend was still alive. The blank, 
empty stare of Buffy’s eyes, though, frightened her. 
 
“Buffy?” Willow spoke softly, taking one of Buffy’s hands in hers. 
 
For a minute, Willow got no response, but as she was about to speak again, Buffy’s eyes blinked and slowly moved to focus on
 her. “Willow?” 
 
“Are you okay? What happened?” the redhead reached up and brushed some of the tangled blonde hair off of Buffy’s face. 
 
“Oh, Willow,” Buffy started before sobs once again overwhelmed her. 
 
She didn’t resist when her friend pulled her into her arms and cried against the soft material of Willow’s sweater. For long minutes, 
she clung to the redhead, saying nothing. Just as her sobs began to subside, a thought suddenly occurred to Buffy. Frantically, 
she scrambled out of Willow’s embrace, nearly falling off the bed in the process. 
 
“Buffy? What’s wrong?” Willow quickly rose from the bed, not understanding Buffy’s actions. 
 
“How did you know I was here?” Buffy swiped at her still falling tears and asked the question that had popped into her head. 
 
“What?” Willow frowned in confusion. 
 
“How did you know where I was?” Buffy repeated, nausea rising in her stomach, her suspicions growing. 
 
“Angel called me,” replied Willow without really thinking. Though once the words left her mouth she realized what they meant. 
 
“You knew didn’t you?!?” Buffy took a step back, anger once again beginning to take over. 
 
Willow’s guilty, avoiding gaze was enough to answer her question. Willow, her best friend in the whole world, had known about 
Angel, had known about his humanity, had known about his upcoming marriage and had never bothered to tell her. Buffy’s very
 world was crumbling before her eyes. The anger that was running through her veins, slowly receded, replaced by a numbing cold. 
 
“You knew and you didn’t tell me.” This time her voice was frigid, lacking any semblance of emotion. 
 
“I’m s-sorry,” Willow stuttered, unable to meet Buffy’s eyes. 
 
“Yeah, you’re sorry. Everyone’s sorry,” Buffy laughed maniacally. “I thought you were my friend.” 
 
“I am!” Willow whispered, the pleading tone of her words lost on Buffy. 
 
“Some friend,” snorted Buffy, shaking her head. “How could you not tell me?” 
 
“I-I...” Willow trailed off having no clue how to answer. It had been her words to Angel about Buffy’s great new life that had made
 him feel the need to not tell her about his humanity and the engagement. She’d disagreed with his decision at first, but eventually
 came to believe it was best for Buffy. 
 
“Who else knows? Giles? Xander?” Buffy bit out. When Willow made no attempt to deny the claim, she laughed again. “I see. This is
 some big ‘Buffy’s too stupid to know anything’ deal again, right?” 
 
“Buffy, you have to unders-.” 
 
“Shut up!” Buffy snarled at her causing the redhead to flinch. “I don’t have to understand anything!” 
 
“We didn’t think...it’s been seven years since he left you Buffy,” Willow tried to defend not only herself, but the others who had known
 as well. 
 
“You think that matters?” Buffy shook her head, fighting back another sob rising in her throat. “You don’t get it. None of you ever got it!” 
 
“Got what?” Willow wanted to know. 
 
Buffy continued on, Willow’s question not even registering. “He’s the one man I’ve ever truly loved. Why do you think Riley left me? Why 
do you think I’ve never dated since then? No one could ever take his place in my heart! It doesn’t matter how long he was gone or that 
he left me. It never mattered!” She fell to her knees, unable to hold back the sobs any longer. 
 
“Oh, Buffy! I’m so sorry!” Willow knelt down next to Buffy and tried to comfort her, but Buffy would have none of it and pushed her away. 
 
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re so sorry,” Buffy stumbled to her feet. “Poor, Buffy, too stupid and immature to make her own decisions!” 
 
“No! Buffy, we don’t think that,” Willow cried desperately. 
 
“Coulda fooled me! Or are you forgetting about the time I was kicked out of my own house?” Buffy snapped angrily. 
 
Willow’s jaw dropped at the reminder of what had happened not long before the battle against the First. In all the years that had 
passed Buffy never mentioned the events of that night. It shocked her to hear it brought up after so much time. 
 
“Nothing to say to that?” Buffy raised an eyebrow. “God, you all make me sick!” 
 
“I’m sorry! I-I should have told you about Angel,” Willow admitted her guilt. 
 
“You’re damn right you should have! I...I thought...” Buffy backed further away from Willow. The room suddenly felt like it was closing 
in on her. Memories of the previous night with Angel invaded her senses as her eyes darted around the room. “I can’t do this. I-I can’t 
be here.” 
 
Before Willow could stop her, Buffy bolted from the room. By the time she made her feet move to take her out into the hallway, 
the blonde was no where to be found. 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
For hours Buffy wandered aimlessly around the streets of Los Angeles having no idea where to go, or what to do. A dense fog had settled
 in her mind, clouding any an all judgment. More than once a perfect stranger had approached the teary-eyed, dazed blonde and asked 
her if she was okay, but Buffy always brushed off their concern. She didn’t want comfort. She didn’t want anything, well except maybe for 
the last twenty-four hours to have not occurred. 
 
Her heart ached with everything that had been heaped upon her this day. The time spent with Angel and then his not so little revelation 
were enough to send her in a tailspin, but then to find out that Willow, and likely others as well, knew was just too much. She didn’t 
understand any of it. How could Angel have not told her about the changes in his life? How could Willow have hidden something so 
important from her? 
 
The last two years had been spent building a life for herself, one outside of chaos, demons and death. She’d made a place for herself 
in the world. Maybe she’d never consciously thought about it, but in the back of her mind the whisperings were always there that this was
 her time to grow and be ready for a future that would hopefully include Angel. And now that dream was nothing more than a lonely girl’s 
fantasy that would never come true. 
 
Everything around her seemed darker at that knowledge; the air a little less refreshing, the sun a little less bright. Every ounce of peace she’d
 built up over the last two years was suddenly gone. She couldn’t help but blame herself for believing in childish dreams of true love and forever.
 Real people didn’t get those things. They only existed in movies and fairy tales. She should have known that life wouldn’t give her the one thing
 she’d only ever truly wanted: Angel. 
 
As the sun began to set, Buffy wondered what she was supposed to do with herself now. She didn’t want to go back to her hotel room. Someone
 would probably be waiting for her and she had no desire to talk to any of the hypocrites that were supposed to be her friends. Briefly she 
contemplated going back home; to San Francisco, but that idea held even less appeal. That place would only be a reminder of the life that
 now meant nothing. She needed to go somewhere that had no attachment to anything. 
 
Without really thinking about her plans, Buffy made her way to the nearest ATM. She silently thanked herself for putting on the pants that 
her wallet was in and used her bank-card to withdraw almost everything out of her checking account. 
 
Possessing only a hefty sum of cash, the clothes on her back, and her wallet, Buffy headed for the nearest bus station. Where she was going
 she didn’t know, and really, she didn’t care. 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
Part 4 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
 
~New Orleans – approximately five years later~ 
 
 
Angel disinterestedly lagged behind Willow as she window shopped on one of the quaint New Orleans streets. He didn’t know why she’d
 made him come on this trip with her. She’d specifically flown up from Arizona and barged into his apartment telling him he was going to 
accompany her on the business trip she had to go on. When he asked why she told him he needed to stop sitting in his dark apartment 
brooding and get out for a little while. He tried to tell her no, but she practically twisted his arm and made him go pack. 
 
 
So now he was stuck following her around New Orleans while she did a little shopping in her free time. The happy, laughing people that
 kept brushing past him made him nauseous. He didn’t like being in crowds. Staying back at the hotel had been his activity of choice for
 the afternoon, but Willow demanded he go shopping with her and pushed him out the door before he had a chance to say no. Why 
couldn’t people just let him brood in peace? 
 
 
A burst of flirty laughter drew Angel out of his internal monologue and his eyes rose to land on a young couple sitting on a bench, 
locked in a loving kiss. His heart ached at the sight. They looked so happy. He couldn’t fight the pangs of regret that shot through 
him. Nor could he stop the little voice in his head that told him he could have been like that couple if he hadn’t made such a mess 
of his life. It wasn’t shocking, he supposed, that he’d screwed up yet one more thing in his pathetic existence. His life, dating back 
to his original human days, was rife with mistakes, and it didn’t seem like he’d be stopping that pattern anytime soon. 
 
 
Nearly five years ago, despite all that happened, he’d gone ahead and married Nina anyway. In retrospect, it was the wrong thing to do.
 Not only had he cheated on her the day before the wedding, but he’d been forced to realize that his heart would always be with Buffy.
 Still, he pushed all that aside and continued on with the marriage. He thought he owed it to Nina not to back out. 
 
 
The blonde werewolf had become a bright spot in his dark lonely world over the years. He helped her learn to cope with the demon inside 
of her, and then later she was there for him when his Shanshu finally occurred. His reward came with the final defeat of Wolfram and Hart
 and with that everything changed. Becoming human again hadn’t been an easy adjustment for him. He was no longer a demon, no longer
 drank blood, no longer feared sunlight, no longer had super strength, no longer fought evil, and so many other things. It overwhelmed 
him at first, but Nina was there through it all. She pushed him out into the real, human, living world and got him back on his feet. 
 
 
Their friendship grew into more over the following months, and he allowed it. Thoughts of another blonde, a feisty Slayer, occasionally
 plagued his thoughts, but in those times he reminded himself of Willow’s words about Buffy’s new life. She was happy and settled. 
Her life, for so long had been a constant battle and had what he’d always wanted for her. She certainly didn’t need him barging in 
and ruining everything that she’d worked so hard for. So he focused his attention on Nina, and when his friends pushed and encouraged
 him to take the next step he followed, and proposed marriage. She happily accepted and they spent months planning a lavish wedding 
for their friends and families to attend. 
 
 
Angel knew now he should have called it off. The encounter with Buffy just before the wedding changed everything, changed him. Feelings
 long buried once again rose to the surface and he was lost in the unconditional love she’d always bestowed upon him. He should have 
never let what happened with Buffy occur before they had a chance to talk, but they’d both succumbed to their passions before either knew
 what hit them. Then he’d broken her heart by telling her of his upcoming marriage. 
 
 
Gods, he was stupid. He’d had every intention of going to Nina and telling her he couldn’t marry her, but then Willow’s call came explaining 
to him her encounter with Buffy. He knew then that it was hopeless. Any chance of making things right was lost. So instead of going to his future
 wife and breaking things off, he went to her and begged her forgiveness for cheating on her the night before. He never told her the specifics
 then and let her assume it was a drunken encounter at his bachelor party. She forgave his mistake, and the wedding went on as planned. 
 
 
The marriage lasted not even two years. He stopped being the man she helped him become after his Shanshu and retreated into himself. 
Guilt ate away at him over his treatment of Buffy and marrying Nina even though he was never really in love with her. He didn’t know if she 
was ever in love with him, but they had always been comfortable with each other. Their relationship was one built upon deep friendship. 
After the wedding, though, even that disappeared. 
 
 
She tried her hardest to make things work between them, but one night they got into a particularly loud argument over his lack of interest in
 pretty much anything. Everything came out that night; his one night stand with Buffy before the wedding, his returned feelings for her, his 
previous relationship with her, his thoughts of calling off the wedding, his guilt over getting married anyway, everything. Nina was utterly 
shocked by it all, never before knowing about the woman named Buffy, and she knew in an instant that anything she had or might have 
had with Angel was over. Three weeks later she filed for divorce. 
 
 
They managed to part amicably, both agreeing the marriage should never have occurred. Once a month they still talked, but their friendship
 was irrevocably damaged by all that happened between them. A year ago, she married a writer and he was happy for her. The couple was 
now pregnant with their first child and Angel found himself glad that at least he hadn’t ruined her life. 
 
 
His, though, was another story. The three years since the divorce seemed darker than any he spent as a vampire. His days were spent floundering
 in his apartment painting bleak visions on white canvases. If he wasn’t painting, he was sketching. Myriads of drawings, most of a certain blonde, 
littered the walls and floors of his apartment. And if he wasn’t sketching he was sitting in the dark brooding. It was a lonely life, but he felt he deserved 
it. 
 
 
Not long after the divorce he tried to find Buffy. No one had heard from her or seen her since the confrontation two years earlier. She never returned 
to her hotel or her apartment in San Francisco. It was as if she fell off the face of the earth. A little hacking by Willow right after her disappearance
 revealed to them the large cash withdrawl at an ATM the night of their argument. From there, not a trace of her could be found. Willow actively
 looked for a year after their fight, and kept Angel informed, but eventually she gave up. He renewed the search for her after the divorce, 
but never found even the slightest clue as to her whereabouts. Buffy had managed to hide herself away some place where no one could find her. 
 
 
That was close to three years ago and since then his life was a vast wasteland of loneliness, regrets, and guilt precipitating Willow’s little forced 
vacation. He didn’t want to be here in this city with all of its bubbling happiness. He wanted to be back in his apartment alone with a good bottle 
of Irish whiskey and his thoughts. Another two days of this annoyance and he’d be back in LA where he swore he was never going to answer his 
door again. 
 
 
“Can we go back to the hotel yet?” he nearly whined to Willow who was gazing at a ruby necklace in the window of a jewelry store. 
 
 
“In a little bit,” she sighed and rolled her eyes. “You really know how to suck the life out of everything you know that? No pun intended.” 
 
 
“I don’t like it here,” Angel grumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 
 
 
“Fine. I just want to go to that toy store up ahead and pick up something to send to Xander,” she explained, referring to her friend who 
married three years earlier and had a two year old daughter. 
 
 
Angel rolled his eyes and groaned but followed anyway. A toy store was the last place he wanted to go. The place was likely to be swarming
 with kids running up and down the aisles. Not that he didn’t love kids because he did, really. They were just another reminder of how empty
 his life was. If he hadn’t of royally fucked things up years ago he could be with Buffy right now and have children with her. But he had ruined 
everything, and now he was alone. 
 
 
The two quickly reached the toy store and entered into the small shop. Angel was glad to find that the place wasn’t overly busy. There
 seemed to be only a few adults and children milling about. Not knowing what else to do in a place he had no use for, Angel merely trailed
 behind Willow as she searched for a gift to send to her friend’s child. 
 
 
Willow turned to face Angel when she noticed that all he was doing was following her. “You could actually, ya know, look around.” 
 
 
“Why?” Angel looked at her and frowned. 
 
 
“Because we’re in a store. A place where people shop so you should...shop,” she told him as if it were obvious, and stepped backwards 
without paying attention. 
 
 
“Willow, watch out!” Angel swiftly warned her when he saw she was about to walk into someone bending over looking at something on a 
low shelf. 
 
 
“What? Oomph!” Too late. The redhead tripped over the other shopper kneeling near the ground, knocking him over but managing to 
keep herself from falling by grabbing onto the closest shelf. 
 
 
“Oh, Goddess! I am sooo sorry!” Her face flushed red in embarrassment as she apologized and offered a hand to the man pulling himself
 up off the ground. 
 
 
The man in question froze at the sound of her voice. His head shot up, eyes widened, as he took in the face of the person who had tripped 
over him. “Willow?” 
 
 
“Oz?” the redhead yelped, stumbling back a few steps in shock. She was wholly unprepared to find herself face to face with her former boyfriend. 
 
 
“Uh, yeah,” the stoic musician finished pulling himself up off the ground, warily studying the redhead. Unnoticed to her, his eyes nervously 
darted to the left for a moment before returning to meet her gaze. 
 
 
“I...umm....hi...uh...look, Angel...it’s, uh, Oz,” she stammered uncertainly. 
 
 
Oz’s head whipped around to face the person he hadn’t even known was there. He startled slightly at finding the former vampire fidgeting 
behind him. It took a moment for him to gather his bearings before greeting the other man. “Angel.” 
 
 
The coldness in the werewolf’s voice was immediately obvious to Angel and his brow furrowed as he wondered at the unfriendly 
salutation. “Hello, Oz.” 
 
 
“So, you’re, uh, here...in New Orleans,” Willow moved around to stand near Angel. 
 
 
“Yeah,” Oz answered simply all the while wondering if he’d be able to get rid of the two before things got ugly. 
 
 
“H-How long have you been here?” Willow asked for lack of anything better to say. She was still trying to get over the shock of 
the random meeting with someone from her past. 
 
 
“Few years,” he shrugged in response. Every so often, his eyes would glance to the left as if watching out for someone. 
 
 
“Oh, uh, we’re...well, me actually...I’m here on, uh, business...and, umm, I made Angel come along,” she babbled out the explanation
 for their presence in New Orleans. 
 
 
“Cool,” Oz stated in his usual lack of words. His eyes suddenly widened when he heard giggling laughter reach his ears. Only moments
 later, the pitter patter of little feet followed and he felt something latch onto his leg. 
 
 
“Wanna get ice cream now!” a child’s voice spoke causing Willow to gasp. She watched as her ex-boyfriend reached down to pick up a
 little boy who appeared to be three, maybe four years old. 
 
 
“It’s a little early for ice cream, don’t ya think?” Oz ruffled his hair as the little boy settled into his arms. 
 
 
“I-is that your...,” Willow trailed off, not wanting to say the final word. 
 
 
Oz turned to face the two people from his past and looked at them for a moment before sighing. “This is Jared.” 
 
 
The little boy clung to Oz as he noticed the strangers staring at him. He tugged at Oz’s sleeve and pointed to the new people. “Who they?” 
 
 
“They’re some old...friends,” Oz hesitated in his answer. 
 
 
“Oh,” Jared cocked his head and studied the two people for a second before smiling. “Hi! I’m Jared!” 
 
 
“H-Hi, Jared. I’m Willow,” the redhead forced herself to say. When Angel said nothing, she elbowed him out of his trance. “Angel! Say hi!” 
 
 
Angel snapped his mouth, which had been gaping, shut. The presence of the little boy had surprised him, but even more so
 there was something familiar about him. “Uh, hello Jared. My name is Angel.” 
 
 
“Angel,” Jared giggled. “That’s a silly name!” 
 
 
Angel couldn’t help but grin at the child’s exuberance. “Yeah, it is.” 
 
 
“Jared!” a new voice, a familiar voice, sounded loudly from nearby. “Didn’t I tell not to run around the store?” 
 
 
All four heads turned to watch as the speaker rounded the corner of the aisle and walked toward them. The female’s head was
 down looking into her purse so she didn’t notice all the eyes on her. They all noticed her, though, and the shock left them speechless. 
 
 
“Oz? Do you-,” her words abruptly cut off as she finally looked up and found herself the focus of not just Oz and Jared’s attention,
 but also others. Two others who she dearly wished she wasn’t seeing. The stuffed dinosaur she held in one of her hands fell 
carelessly to the ground. 
 
 
“Mommy!” Jared shrieked giddily and squirmed out of Oz’s arms. Once on the floor he picked up the dinosaur and reached for 
Buffy to pick him up. It took him a minute to get her attention, but she eventually complied. 
 
 
Angel’s jaw dropped once again at the sight of the woman who forever haunted his memory. He couldn’t believe she was standing 
in front of him staring with the same level of shock in her eyes as his. She looked absolutely beautiful, as she always did. Her body
 was a bit fuller than before, but it looked good on her. His heart couldn’t help but clench as he watched her holding the little boy in 
her arms. 
 
 
“B-Buffy,” he whispered hoarsely. 
 
 
The stunned silence Buffy found herself in quickly wore off. Her shoulders straightened as she realized she had no choice but to face 
the two people from her past. “Angel,” she spoke not coldly, but not in a friendly manner either. 
 
 
Willow had yet to say a word. Her mind was racing, her eyes darting between the people before her. Oz. Buffy. Child...Oz....Buffy. 
She didn’t like where her thoughts were taking her. But when Buffy raised her hand to shift Jared in her arms her suspicions were 
confirmed. A shiny gold band rested on Buffy’s ring finger. A quick check of her ex-boyfriend revealed that he, too, wore one. 
 
 
“Oh, Goddess...you...you’re...but...” Tears formed in her eyes as she struggled to form a coherent sentence. Not able to face
 what was obvious, Willow turned and fled from the store. 
 
 
It took only a moment for Angel to realize what had thrown Willow so severely. Even if he hadn’t seen the rings, though, he would
 have known. They were together, and obviously had a child. Any remaining whole piece of his heart shattered. Buffy was truly gone
 to him. Whatever passive hope he still had somewhere inside of him that someday they’d reunite was effectively crushed. 
 
 
“I-I....I better go,” he stuttered uncomfortably. Being around Buffy when she was obviously happy was too much. “It was good to see
 you.” Without waiting for a reply, he followed Willow’s lead and left. 
 
 
Oz and Buffy stood in silence in the aftermath of the unexpected confrontation. The last thing they thought would happen
 on their outing to the toy store was a chance meeting with their former lovers. It was a little unnerving to say the least. 
 
 
“You okay?” Oz turned and faced Buffy. 
 
 
“Yeah,” Buffy sighed, forcing a smile onto her face for Jared’s sake. “It’s just...well, you know.” 
 
 
“Yeah,” Oz nodded his head in agreement. Seeing Willow again after such a long time wasn’t something he could just forget 
about. 
 
 
“A-are they...together?” Buffy wondered out loud. 
 
 
Oz thought for a second, relying on what his enhanced sense of smell told him. “I don’t think so.” 
 
 
“Mommy! Ice cream!” Jared interrupted and lightly pulled on Buffy’s hair. 
 
 
“Oh, yeah,” Buffy pulled herself out of her distraction and focused her attention on her son. “Let’s go pay for this, huh?” she held
 up the stuffed dinosaur Jared had picked out. 
 
 
“Yay!” he cheered, hugging the animal to his chest. 
 
 
All thoughts of their exes were pushed from their minds as they went and paid for the toy and then left the store. Neither Buffy nor
 Oz noticed as they walked down the street arm in arm, laughing over something Jared said, that they were being watched by two 
broken hearted people. 
 
 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
THIS IS THE POINT WHERE THE TWO ENDINGS DIVERGE!  ONE ENDING HAS B/A REUNITE WHILE THE OTHER ENDING DOES NOT HAVE THEM WORK THINGS OUT.  
 
IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT THE TWO ENDINGS: THEY ARE ALMOST COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IN EVERY ASPECT!
 
USE THE FOLLOWING LINKS TO GO TO THE ENDINGS:
 
NON-B/A ENDING
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
THE FOLLOWING IS THE NON-B/A ENDING!!!
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
Part 5a – non-B/A version 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
 
“Hey” Oz greeted Buffy as he walked out onto the back porch of their house. 
 
 
“You’re back,” Buffy turned over on the lounge chair she was reclining on and faced her husband. 
 
 
“Yeah. Here, picked up one of those mocha things for you,” he handed her the cup held in his right hand. 
 
 
“Thanks. Just what I needed,” she smiled and pushed herself up further in the chair. “Did you get Jared settled in at your parents’ house?” 
 
 
“Yup. He was excited to spend the night with them,” Oz took a seat on the chair by Buffy’s feet. 
 
 
“Why am I not surprised?” Buffy rolled her eyes. “They love spoiling him.” 
 
 
“And he loves being spoiled,” chuckled Oz while pulling Buffy’s feet onto his lap. “You okay?” 
 
 
“I guess,” she answered noncommittally, sipping from her mocha. 
 
 
“You knew you wouldn’t be able to hide from them forever,” he pointed out. 
 
 
“I know. Doesn’t mean I didn’t wish I could,” her shoulders shrugged slightly. “And I wasn’t hiding necessarily.” 
 
 
“No, you just didn’t tell anybody where you were,” Oz clarified with a raised eyebrow. 
 
 
“Why should I have?” Buffy snapped at him and then regretted her harshness. “Sorry, I’m not angry with you.” 
 
 
“No worries.” He picked up one of her hands and gave it a light squeeze. 
 
 
“They gave me no reason to tell them anything,” she continued, old hurt resurfacing once again. “How can I let people into my life who don’t trust me?” 
 
 
Oz said nothing in response. He knew Buffy needed to just talk and get all of it out of her system. The story was already familiar to him 
having lived through part of it and hearing about the rest, but he would happily sit and listen to her if it helped Buffy work through what 
she was feeling. 
 
 
“I mean, first there’s Angel. He dumped me, in a sewer of all places, out of the blue on prom night. I’m not saying I don’t understand 
his reasons or agree with them, but he made a life altering decision for the both of us on his own. That’s hardly fair.” The last part
 came out in a slight growl. She took a deep breath before going on. “Then there’s the day he was human and took back, again making
 a decision involving the both of us without talking to me.” 
 
 
“He doesn’t know you know about that, right?” Oz interrupted the frustrated rant of his wife. 
 
 
“No. You’re the only person I told.” No one else knew about the memory that came back with her when she returned from Heaven. Things
 had been so messed up back then that the last thing she wanted to do was talk to one of her friends about something dealing with Angel, 
and then later it never seemed appropriate. So she held it in and kept it to herself. 
 
 
“And again,” Buffy kept going. “I can at least understand his choice, but it should have been made by both of us.” 
 
 
“Agreed,” he offered his support. 
 
 
“But how could he turn human for good,” a stray tear fell across her cheek. “And not tell me?” 
 
 
“To be fair, you never gave him a chance to tell you why.” He hated saying that, but it was the truth. 
 
 
“No, I didn’t,” Buffy conceded. “But it doesn’t matter what his reasons were. He should have told me. Period. He owed it to me 
regardless of whether or not there was someone else in his life.” 
 
 
“If he had told me then I wouldn’t have still hoped...” she didn’t finish the rest of her line of thinking. “Or maybe things would have
 been different. He just...he should have told me. 
 
 
“Not gonna disagree with ya there.” When Buffy had first told him about all that happened back in LA he’d been shocked. He would 
have thought Angel would go running to Buffy after becoming human. 
 
 
“But worst of all...he slept with me...made me think that everything we always wanted we were finally going to get, and then...then.” 
She couldn’t hold it in any more as soft sobs began to shake through her body. 
 
 
Hating to see Buffy so upset, Oz scooted up the chair and pulled his wife into his arms. She rested her head on his chest and cried as he
 stroked her hair. It made her feel weak to cry over something that had happened years ago. But the pain and hurt from that horrible morning
 would always be there. It didn’t matter what her life was like now, she would never forget Angel’s rejection or Willow’s lies. 
 
 
“Maybe you should talk to him,” he spoke softly, smoothing a hand down her back. 
 
 
“Why?” she questioned after sniffling. 
 
 
“Find out why he did it. Might help you put it behind you,” he explained gently though he wasn’t quite sure it was the best thing for any of them. 
 
 
“Maybe,” Buffy mumbled uncertainly. “I don’t know if I want to, though. And then there’s Willow.” 
 
 
“What about Willow?” Oz stiffened slightly at the redhead’s name. 
 
 
“I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about her.” Buffy knew that mentioning Willow was as weird for him as mentioning Angel was to her. It was bad
 enough they had to run into one of them, but seeing both of them at once was overwhelming. 
 
 
“No. It’s fine.” Well, it wasn’t fine, but they couldn’t avoid subjects. It wouldn’t solve anything to brush the past under the proverbial rug. 
 
 
“Honestly,” she tilted her head to look up at Oz. “I have no desire to talk to her.” 
 
 
“Understandable.” He really couldn’t blame her for not wanting to talk to Willow given all that went down between them. 
 
 
“I just...” she sighed, gathering her thoughts. “I just don’t have it in me any more to trust her. She never really understood about Angel. She pushed
 me toward Riley even though it should have been obvious I wasn’t ready. It still hurts that she supported everyone when they kicked me out of my 
own house.” 
 
 
Buffy reached up to wipe away her fresh tears. “And she knew...she knew about Angel...that he became human. And she knew about him getting
...married. She didn’t tell me. She was my best friend and she didn’t tell me.” 
 
 
“Shh,” Oz tried to comfort, placing a kiss on her forehead and holding her as she cried for trust lost. 
 
 
“How could she do that to me?” Her voice was a mere whisper as she spoke. 
 
 
“I don’t know,” he answered softly, brushing the hair off her face. “Maybe she just wanted you to be happy.” 
 
 
“How was she supposed to know what would make me happy?” she yawned, exhaustion sweeping over her body. 
 
 
The question was hypothetical and Oz knew that. He didn’t answer, just continued to hold and comfort his wife, wishing she didn’t have to deal 
with so much. Within minutes, he felt her breathing even out and knew she had fallen asleep. Opting not to wake her, he just pulled her tighter
 into his arms and stared up at the stars wondering how all of this was going to work out. 
 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
 
“Willow,” Angel groaned in exasperation and grabbed the bottle of gin before it tipped over and fell to the floor. 
 
 
The redhead was totally wasted. After seeing Buffy walk off arm and arm with Oz from the toy store, Willow disappeared. One minute she’d 
been standing right next to him and the next she was gone. He searched for her for two hours before deciding to return to the hotel. When
 he knocked on the door to her room Angel was surprised to see her answer holding a half empty bottle of vodka and eyes red from crying 
 
 
The vodka was long gone now, replaced by gin. He honestly had no idea how Willow was still standing upright. One thing for sure, she was 
going to have a hell of a hangover in the morning and would most likely be puking her guts out at some point. He knew he should stop her, 
and had actually tried to, but when he’d taken away the second bottle of vodka she reached into a bag and pulled out the gin. So he figured 
if he couldn’t stop her from drinking he could at least make sure she didn’t hurt herself. 
 
 
“Here,” she slammed an expensive crystal glass down on the counter in front of him. “Hava drink.” 
 
 
“No thank you,” he pushed the glass away. 
 
 
“Yer reeeally a mood killer ya know that?” she glared at him, her voice noticeably slurred. 
 
 
“And you’re drunk.” Angel tried once again to grab the bottle but Willow clutched it tightly to her chest. 
 
 
“Uh huh,” Willow giggled uncontrollably for a moment before bursting into tears and falling to her knees. The bottle of gin fell carelessly
 to the ground, spilling onto the floor. “Oh Gods.” 
 
 
Angel quickly scrambled off the stool he’d been sitting on and ran to the bathroom to get some towels. Willow was still sobbing drunkenly 
on the ground when he returned. Sighing, he began cleaning up the spilled liquor. Once the spill was mostly dried he went and threw the 
drenched towels into the sink of the small kitchenette. Before returning to his friend, he stopped to pour her a glass of water 
 
 
Her sobs had mostly ceased by the time he got back and not knowing what else to do he simply sat down on the ground and leaned back 
against the couch. He didn’t blame Willow for drowning her sorrows in booze. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but he could 
understand it. If he thought it would dull the pain he would do the same. But in the end it wouldn’t solve anything. 
 
 
Willow hiccupped and took the glass of water from Angel. She drank nearly the whole glass in one gulp and set it down next to her. The
 throbbing in her head was starting to make the room spin so she clumsily laid down on the floor, pressing the side of her face onto the 
soft carpet. 
 
 
“T-tell me is n-not true,” her broken words came out barely audible. 
 
 
“I can’t.” Angel lowered his eyes and looked at Willow. 
 
 
“B-but....but they...they,” she choked back a sob. “They can’t b-be...m-married.” 
 
 
He wanted to tell her it wasn’t true. He would give anything to be able to tell her that, but he couldn’t. Sure he didn’t have confirmation 
that Buffy and Oz really were married, but even he couldn’t deny the obvious signs. They were out together, a child was with them, and
 they were both wearing wedding rings. There really wasn’t any other conclusion that could be drawn from that information. 
 
 
Willow’s extreme reaction to the news was a bit shocking to him. She and Oz had long been separated. He didn’t know all of what 
happened between them in Sunnydale years ago, but he did know she had been in more than one serious relationship since he left
 and had been happy. Her drunken pleas made him wonder if she still had feelings for the quiet musician despite how long they’d been
 apart. He supposed her situation with Oz wasn’t really all that different than what was between him and Buffy. In that case, he had no 
trouble understanding why she was so upset. 
 
 
“We don’t know for sure,” he tried to ease her pain, knowing his words were as close to a lie as they could be. 
 
 
“They are and you know it!” she practically snarled, shooting up from her spot on the floor. The quick movement made her groan and 
nearly fall back down. 
 
 
Rolling his head around in an attempt to loosen his muscles, Angel thought for a minute before speaking. “It’s her life, Willow. She 
can do whatever she wants.” 
 
 
“But...b-but why Oz?” Willow buried her head in the cradle of her arms. 
 
 
“She deserves to be happy,” Angel answered quietly. He really did mean his words, but it hurt more than he could describe to think 
about her with someone else. “Maybe he makes her...happy. If so then who are we to complain?” 
 
 
Willow frowned at the rational statement. How could he be so calm about everything? She knew he’d spent years regretting what 
happened between him and Buffy in LA. She would have thought he’d be just as upset as she was right now. Then again, Angel 
was the master of hiding his emotions. It was entirely possible he was just as torn up as she was. If so, then he was doing a damn
 good job at keeping them in. 
 
 
Her mind couldn’t seem to wrap itself around the concept of Buffy and Oz...together. Sure they’d been friends back in high school, 
but really they hardly ever talked. She just couldn’t picture them as a couple. But that was obviously what they were. She never 
admitted it to anyone, but Oz still held a large piece of her heart even after all these years. So seeing him with Buffy threw her 
quite a bit. 
 
 
The two sat in silence after Angel last spoke, neither knowing what else to say. After a few minutes passed, Angel thought he heard 
something so he looked up and found Willow sound asleep on the floor where she’d been sitting. Shaking his head, he pushed himself
 up off the ground and bent over to pick Willow up. She never even stirred as he carried her into the bedroom and laid her on the bed. 
Thankfully, she was already in what looked to be pajamas because he had no intention of changing her. 
 
 
Returning to the living room, he contemplated going next door to the room he’d rented but he didn’t like the idea of leaving Willow alone 
after she’d consumed so much alcohol. Instead he looked dejectedly at the fairly small couch and sighed. He kicked off his shoes laid 
down on the short sofa, his legs hanging off the end. Within minutes he was sound asleep, the exhaustion of the day’s events taking over 
his system. 
 
 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
 
A shrill ringing sound awoke Angel late the next morning. His sleep addled brain tried to ignore the noise, but eventually he rolled over and
 opened his eyes. It took a moment to acclimate himself to his surroundings before he realized that the ringing was coming from the cell 
phone in his pocket. Digging around in his pants he managed to pull the device out and clicked the talk button. 
 
 
“Hello?” he answered, his voice slightly groggy. 
 
 
“Angel?” an all to familiar female spoke on the other end. 
 
 
“B-Buffy?” Angel leapt from the couch the second he realized who had called him. 
 
 
“Hi,” she said tentatively. 
 
 
“How’d you get my number?” he asked in shock, then kicked himself for saying something so stupid. 
 
 
“I...I called Giles. He gave it to me.” She didn’t even want to get into the conversation she’d had with her former Watcher whom she hadn’t 
spoken to in almost five years. Seemed she was having to confront all of the ghosts from her past at once. 
 
 
“Oh, okay...,” he trailed off. He had no idea what to say. Buffy calling him was something he had not in the least expected. 
 
 
“I, um...I called because I guess we should...talk,” she stated awkwardly. Honestly, she still wasn’t convinced this was the right thing to do. 
 
 
“Buffy-.” 
 
 
“Angel...just....listen to me for a second.” Her sigh could be heard through the phone. “I think we need to talk. Not that I really want to, 
but it would be best for both of us. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I called to give you my address if you decide you do want to. 
Talk, I mean.” 
 
 
“Uh...okay. Sure,” he mumbled, feeling a bit stunned. 
 
 
“Okay.” She gave him her address and then paused for a second. “Are you going to come?” 
 
 
“I don’t...maybe,” he stumbled over his words. Her proposal to talk caught him by surprise and he didn’t really know what he wanted to do. 
 
 
“Fine. I’ll be home the rest of the day if you decide you want to come. Bye.” She hung up before he could say anything else. 
 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
 
“What’d he say?” Oz asked as he walked back into the living room in his and Buffy’s house. 
 
 
“Not much.” Buffy ran a hand through her long hair and leaned back against the couch. 
 
 
“Is he gonna come?” He took a seat next to her. 
 
 
“Don’t know,” she shrugged, leaning her head on his shoulder. “He didn’t say.” 
 
 
“You sure you don’t want me to stay here?” He’d offered to be there when she talked to Angel, but she told him it was probably better 
if he wasn’t there. She was mostly likely right. It worried him, though. 
 
 
“Yeah. I’m sure,” she repeated what she told him earlier. “Plus you have stuff to do down at the shop.” 
 
 
“I can miss it. No big deal if I do,” Oz reminded her again. 
 
 
“No, then you’ll be behind for the rest of the week.” Buffy was somewhat torn on if she wanted Oz to stay for her confrontation with Angel. 
On one hand, she wanted his support, but on the other she knew it was best for her to talk to Angel alone. 
 
 
“Okay. Call me if you need me though,” he told her, standing up from the couch. 
 
 
“I will,” she promised him. 
 
 
“Good luck,” he bent down and kissed her cheek. 
 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
Part 6 – non-B/A version 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
 
Angel stared out the window of the cab as it drove out of New Orleans and into one of its suburbs. He watched the terrain turn from
 busy city to comfortable residential neighborhoods, all the while wondering whether he was doing the right thing by going and talking 
to Buffy. Something inside his mind told him he wasn’t going to like what she had to say. He wanted to believe that things would go 
well and that maybe, just maybe, she’d come back to him, but instinct told him this conversation would not end well. 
 
 
As the taxi screeched to a halt, Angel was pulled from his thoughts. He looked up to find the vehicle stopped in front of a medium-sized 
two story house with a one car garage, a lush green yard, and many brightly colored flowers lining a flagstone walkway. It was quaint, and 
peaceful, and exactly the type of place he always pictured Buffy living in. The only thing missing was a white picket fence. 
 
 
A cough from the driver reminded him that he needed to get out of the car so he quickly pulled out some money and paid before stepping
 out into the bright midday sun. His steps faltered as he went to walk up to the house. He was suddenly unsure about what he was doing. 
Could he really walk in there and face Buffy? Was he really ready to hear whatever it was she wanted to tell him? He supposed he didn’t have 
a choice now. He was already at the house. Gathering up every ounce of courage he had, Angel finally approached the front door. 
 
 
The knock came as only a mild surprise to Buffy. She knew immediately who was on the other side of the door. She wasn’t expecting anyone 
else to stop by so the only person it could be was Angel. Smoothing out a non-existent wrinkle in her calf length, blue floral skirt, she walked 
into the foyer and opened up the front door. 
 
 
“Angel,” she nodded in greeting. 
 
 
“Buffy. Hi,” Angel tried to smile, shifting nervously on his feet. 
 
 
“Come in,” she stepped back and gestured for him to enter. 
 
 
“You can, umm, go into the living room. I have some water boiling for tea so I’ll, uh, be right back.” Buffy hated babbling, but being around 
Angel made her uncomfortable. 
 
 
“Okay, thanks,” he looked down, noticing Buffy anxiety. Once she walked away from him, he entered the living room. 
 
 
The sight that greeted him made his heart twist. The room reeked of family and love. Pictures eyed him from every corner, almost mocking him. 
Despite the desire not to see the images, Angel found himself wandering around the room looking at each one. They were all of Buffy, Oz and their
 child: a family portrait, lazy days at a park, holidays, and every other pose imaginable. And in each one the subjects were smiling and happy. 
 
 
Hearing Buffy reenter the room, he turned around thankful for the interruption of his perusal of their family photos. She carefully set a tray with 
a tea pot, cups, and accessories down onto the coffee table and then eyed him for a moment. Saying nothing, she simply sat down on one of
 the chairs next to the couch. He followed her lead and sat opposite her. 
 
 
“You have a nice house.” He avoided looking into her eyes as he spoke. 
 
 
“Thank you,” she smiled, but Angel could tell it was forced. 
 
 
“How long have you lived here?” he proceeded with the generic conversation. 
 
 
“We bought the house about three and a half years ago,” Buffy answered as she poured herself a cup of tea. “Want some?” 
 
 
“No, thank you,” he declined the drink. 
 
 
Buffy sat back against the chair and took a sip of her tea. “So I suppose you want to know how all this,” she motioned to her surroundings. 
“Happened.” 
 
 
“You don’t have to tell me.” Angel tried to casually glance at her, attempting to decipher her mood. Her face was shuttered, though, 
giving him no idea as to what she was thinking. 
 
 
“No, it’s okay. I guess it’s as good a place as any to start.” Buffy set her cup back down on the coffee table and then crossed her legs. 
 
 
“Okay,” he agreed and sat further back in the chair, preparing himself for a story he knew he probably would rather not hear. 
 
 
“Good.” Buffy’s hands fidgeted, tracing the seam of her shirt. “I, uh, know you’ll probably want to ask questions, but please let me 
get everything out and then you can say...whatever you want to say.” 
 
 
Angel nodded instead of responding verbally. Their eyes met and held for just a moment before Buffy broke the gaze and looked down 
at her hands. She took a few deep breaths as she pulled all of her thoughts together in her head. When she felt as prepared as possible, 
she looked back up, though avoided looking directly at Angel. 
 
 
“I’ll start, I guess with how I ended up here,” she began the story of the last five years of her life. “I left the hotel that day in LA and then 
wandered the streets for hours in a total daze. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I couldn’t go back to my room because I knew
 someone was likely there waiting for me, and I didn’t want to go back home. Somehow I ended up at an ATM taking out all my money 
and then at a bus station.” 
 
 
“I got on the first available bus which ended up taking me to Las Vegas of all places.” The laugh that followed was not a happy one. She 
shook her head and went on. “Neat place. Somewhere I could get lost, which is what I wanted to do, but it was too close to LA. I stayed the
 night there and then got on the next available bus which eventually took me to San Antonio.” 
 
 
Her nose wrinkled at the memory. “Not my kind of place. I missed the mindless crowd of Vegas and realized I wanted to go somewhere
 like that. When I went back to the bus station I saw one heading to New Orleans and it just seemed to call to me. So I bought a ticket 
and came here.” 
 
 
She stopped to take a sip of her tea, licking her lips afterwards in a manner that made Angel bite back a groan. “The next couple months 
were a bit of a blur. I kind of...,” she paused and a hand nervously reached up to run through her hair. “I kind of went a little nuts. I spent
 every night in clubs and bars, dancing and drinking till dawn and then sleeping through the days.” 
 
 
“I’m sorry,” Angel mumbled, his guilt clearly evident. 
 
 
Buffy acted as if she never heard him speak and continued. “Oz says it was a combination of what happened and some sort of repressed 
youth thing. Anyways, I went on like that for a while. Then one night I was at a club and ran into Oz. Literally ran into him. And we just started
 hanging out.” 
 
 
A minute passed while Buffy said nothing. Angel could tell she was thinking about something. He wanted to ask questions. He wanted to know 
more, but he wasn’t sure how responsive she would be. So he too remained silent, waiting for her cue. 
 
 
“That’s how I ended up here,” Buffy finally settled on saying. 
 
 
“A-and your...son?” he asked the foremost question on his mind. 
 
 
Her lips pursed at the subject. She wanted to tell him it was none of his business, but she quickly realized she had no reason to hide 
anything. This was her life and she wasn’t ashamed of any of it especially not her son or her marriage. 
 
 
“His name is Jared, which I guess you already know. He’ll be four years old soon.” A brilliant smile lit up her face, one that made Angel
 incredibly envious. “He’s a little darling. Right now he’s with Oz’s parents.” 
 
 
“So you and Oz are...,” Angel couldn’t make himself say the final word. 
 
 
“Married?” Buffy supplied for him, her voice even and calm. “Yes.” She wasn’t going to say more, but the look in his eyes made her 
volunteer the rest. “We’ve been married for three and a half years.” 
 
 
“And since I know you’ve already done the math, yes Jared was born before we were married.” She uncrossed her legs and leaned
 forward slightly as she realized full disclosure was probably the best route. “Which means, obviously, that Oz and I were together 
beforehand.” 
 
 
Angel’s eyes closed, little pinpoints of hurt stabbing at his heart with the knowledge of Buffy with someone else. “You don’t have to tell me.” 
 
 
“No. I think it’s best if I do.” Her eyes studied him for a minute before revealing the last bit of her life he was unaware of. “Oz and I 
were hanging out a lot. It was nice to have someone familiar to be around, and we just sort of...connected...I guess because of our
 pasts.” 
 
 
“He had a party at his apartment one night. We were pretty drunk by the time everyone left, and then we started talking about everything
...Sunnydale, him leaving, Willow, you, what happened in LA...and we just got totally wasted,” she paused, almost as if for dramatic effect. 
“I woke up the next morning in his bed. Naked.” 
 
 
The last part made Angel cringe. He really didn’t need those details. She hadn’t said it yet, but Angel had a strong idea of what was to come
 next. And he didn’t want to hear it; didn’t want to know that she’d turned to someone else because of his actions; didn’t want to know that
 a child had been the result. He didn’t want to know any of it. Unfortunately, Buffy had no thoughts of stopping. 
 
 
“Neither of us were even sure anything happened until a month and a half later I realized I was pregnant,” she told him almost nonchalantly. 
 
 
“You’d think, considering that situation,” she gave an unexpected chuckle. “That I’d have totally freaked, but I was happy. Ecstatic even. 
I don’t know why, but when I saw the plus sign on the test I just...smiled.” 
 
 
“I...I’m happy for you,” Angel forced a smiled. The comment was out of place, and he knew it. 
 
 
“Thanks.” Buffy shifted in her chair, suddenly feeling more awkward than she had been. “I didn’t know what to do at first. I knew I wanted 
the baby, but because of how it happened...it was...weird.” 
 
 
“When I told Oz, though, he was just as happy as I was.” The smile on her face told Angel she was recalling a fond memory. “He just got 
this look on his face, and I knew everything would work out.” 
 
 
“We talked about it and neither of us regretted it. So we decided to have the baby and see where things led,” she shrugged her shoulders 
slightly. “A few months after the baby was born we got married and bought this house.” 
 
 
“Oz owns a music store a few blocks away, and I work in the photo department of the local newspaper,” she finished, her tone telling Angel 
that her story was complete. 
 
 
He considered everything she said for a minute, a multitude of thoughts going through his head. In the end he settled for what he wanted to
 know most. “You’re happy?” 
 
 
“Very,” Buffy replied in all seriousness. 
 
 
The steady, honest answer wasn’t quite what Angel expected. Before he could stop himself, the next words were out of his mouth. 
“What about us?” 
 
 
“Us?” her eyebrows raised noticeably in shock. She opened her mouth to speak again, then narrowed her eyes in a clear act of anger. 
“There is no ‘us’, Angel.” 
 
 
“But I love you.” If she hadn’t been listening intently, she wouldn’t even have heard him. 
 
 
Buffy’s face softened, but only minutely. “I love you, too, Angel. You’ll always be a part of me. But...,” she closed her eyes momentarily 
before reopening them and looking directly at Angel. Her next words would be hard, but she had to say them. “It’s too late. It’s just...too
 late.” 
 
 
“It’s never too late,” Angel stated determinedly. 
 
 
“Yes, it is, Angel.” Her eyes conveyed the truth behind her statement. “Too much has happened between us. Too much trust has been lost.” 
 
 
“How can you say that?” He didn’t mean to sound pleading, but he did. It wasn’t over. It couldn’t be over. He just wouldn’t believe that. 
 
 
“How can I...,” she snapped at him, anger suddenly rising. “I think the question should be how can I possibly consider even trusting you 
ever again?” 
 
 
“You know you can trust me!” he growled at her, his own anger growing. 
 
 
“Can I?” Buffy stood hastily as she spoke, moving to pace around the room. “I’m supposed to trust someone who continuously has made 
decisions involving my life without me? I’m supposed to trust you when you can’t even bother to tell me that you’ve turned human or that 
you’re getting married. Yeah,” she snorted. “That makes it really easy to trust you.” 
 
 
“I did what I thought was best,” Angel defended himself. 
 
 
“That’s beside the point,” she glared at him. “We were supposed to have been in a relationship, Angel. That means there were two of us 
involved. Two people. You and Me. We should have made decisions together. But no, you decided all on your own that you weren’t good 
enough for me. Maybe you leaving was the right thing to do, but that decision should have been made by both of us.” 
 
 
“And what about you turning human?” Buffy kept going, finally getting to say all the things that had built up over the years. “What was
 your reason for not telling me about that? Oh, wait, I remember. I was supposedly off living the good life and you didn’t want to ruin it.” 
 
 
“I didn’t,” he reiterated his reasons. 
 
 
“Why is it that people think they can make decisions about my life?” she reached up and squeezed the back of her neck trying to release 
some of the tension she was feeling. “Shouldn’t it have been my choice? You should have told me. You should have come to me. And if you
 had and I didn’t want you in my life I would have told you to leave. Even if you didn’t want to be with me when you became human you still 
should have told me. But no, you chose all on your own to keep it from me. And don’t even get me started on the getting married thing.” 
 
 
Angel looked down guiltily, understanding for maybe the first time the mistakes he made over the years. “I’m sorry.” 
 
 
Bristling at the apology, Buffy marched onwards with her tirade. “Do you know I still hoped? All those years after we talked in the cemetery and 
you asked me about the future I held out hope in the back of my mind that someday things would change and everything that’d kept us apart 
would go away somehow.” 
 
 
“I thought...,” she brushed away a stray tear. “I thought that morning in LA that finally...finally we had our chance.” 
 
 
“We can still have that chance!” Angel nearly shouted at her. 
 
 
“No, we can’t,” Buffy shook her head definitively. “I’m happy with my life, Angel. I’ve got a husband, and a son, and everything that I ever wanted
...that normal life I never thought I’d have. And even if I didn’t...there’s no way I could ever put my faith and trust in you again.” 
 
 
“So that’s it? You’re just giving up?” He couldn’t believe what she was saying, but in the very back of his mind, he did. Somewhere in his head, 
he understood and knew Buffy had every right to feel the way she did. 
 
 
“I’ve accepted my feelings,” she corrected him. “If that’s giving up, then yes, I have.” 
 
 
Angel felt tears welling in his eyes. In that moment, he knew it was really over and he couldn’t blame her one bit. The blame lay with him. 
He was the one to put the final nail in their coffin. If he had just gone to her after his Shanshu then they would be the ones married right now. 
They would have a child together. But he hadn’t, and now she belonged to someone else. 
 
 
“Do you love him?” he asked, resignation clear in his voice. 
 
 
“Yes.” Buffy was going to leave it at that, but she suddenly felt the need to say more. “Am I ‘in love’ with him? No, or at least not in the way
 I was with you. But I do love him, very much. He makes me happy. I trust and respect him, and he trusts and respects me.” 
 
 
“T-that’s good.” Angel wanted to leave. He wanted to get away from her, and not hear any more about her happy life that wasn’t with him. 
 
 
“You’re probably thinking it, so I’ll answer before you ask,” she sat back down on the chair she’d abandoned minutes ago. “I don’t feel like 
I’m settling. We may not have that all-consuming love, but there’s not a thing about my life I would change. I’m happy with my husband, and
 with my son. I’m happy with my house, and my job. There’s nothing I regret.” 
 
 
“I...I need to g-go,” he stuttered out, quickly rising from his seat. 
 
 
Buffy nodded, giving him a conciliatory smile. She felt bad about, well, everything, but she was only being honest. There was nothing wrong with
 that. She just wished she didn’t have to hurt him in the process. Despite all the pain he caused her, she didn’t have it in her heart to purposely
 do the same to him. But she needed to be honest with him. 
 
 
Swiftly, Angel walked to the front door with Buffy following behind him. When he reached door he pulled it open and then turned to face Buffy again. 
“I hope you remain happy.” 
 
 
“Thank you.” She placed a sympathetic hand on his arm. 
 
 
Logic told him not to do it, but he didn’t listen. Slowly, he bent down and placed a feather-light kiss on her lips, remaining there fore only a second
 before pulling away. “Goodbye.” 
 
 
“Goodbye, Angel.” A few tears fell, but she didn’t try to stop them. 
 
 
As Angel walked slowly down the walkway, Buffy stood in her spot and watched. A small ache echoed in her heart at the sight. They never before
 said goodbye, but she didn’t regret her choices. She hadn’t lied when she told him she still loved him, and would always love him. In the end,
 though, it wasn’t enough. There were some things that love just couldn’t conquer. 
 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
 
~a year and a half later~ 
 
 
“Are you sure you’re up to going in there?” Oz asked, Buffy’s hand in his. 
 
 
They were currently standing a few feet away from the doors leading into the large ballroom of a hotel in Los Angeles. Since Sunnydale had 
turned into a giant crater over ten years earlier, the graduating class of Sunnydale High School 1999 never got to have a ten year reunion. 
It was kind of hard to have a celebration when your whole town was destroyed. Someone, however, decided that the class should have a fifteen
 year reunion and hold it in Los Angeles. Neither of them particularly wanted to attend, but after much debating, here they were about to go in. 
 
 
“I’m fine,” Buffy rolled her eyes. “Stop worrying about me.” 
 
 
“I’ll always worry about you,” he gave her hand a squeeze. 
 
 
“Me too,” she kissed him lovingly. “All right, let’s go in. The sooner we do this, the sooner we can go home. I miss Jared.” 
 
 
Inside the ballroom, Angel knew the moment Buffy entered. If he hadn’t seen Willow suddenly grow tense he would have known it by the tingle
 in his gut. Swiveling his head to the right, he saw her walking hand and hand with Oz toward the registration table. She looked radiant as usual, 
but that wasn’t what caught his attention; that was held by the immediately obvious bulge around her abdomen. Buffy was pregnant. Again. With 
Oz. He squeezed his eyes shut and quickly turned away from them. 
 
 
Why, oh why, had he decided to come to this thing? Well, truthfully, he hadn’t. Willow had dragged him along as her date. Plus, he also felt
 like he was representing Cordelia. He wondered if she was looking down on him right now. If she was, she was probably scowling at him because
 he was sitting at the table brooding. 
 
 
A bark of laughter, Buffy’s laughter, trickled through to his ears. He looked up and found her and Oz standing off to the side talking to a guy
 he thought was named Devon. Her head was resting on Oz’s shoulder and his arm was around her waist, the hand gently stroking over top of
 their unborn child. The glowing smile on her face told him she was happy. That’s all he ever really wanted for her. He just wished it had been 
with him that she’d found that happiness. 
 
 
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 
 
 
THE END!!  (non-B/A ending)

 

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