Brown Eyed Girl

By: spoiledsquish

A/N:  The title is from a 50's/60's song.  Thought of it when I was
at the dentist the other day.  Hope everyone enjoys the fic.  Huge
thanks to Kris and Marchelle for the challenge.  It's in Buffy's
POV, for the first little bit, at least…

Summary: AU, B/A.  Angst.  Not saying what the exact fic is about
because I don't want to spoil the challenge.  Challenge will be
posted at the end of the fic.

Timeline: 2004, for the main part of the fic….*evil grin*

Pairings: B/A, W/F mainly. Not sure yet what other pairings will be
included.

Rating: R. I may dip my hand into NC-17 this time, who knows?

Dedications: To all my girls, Lynn, Torey, Lea, Chelle, Kris, Angie,
sobad, Jem, Amy, Linds, Nicole, Katie, Stars, Akay, Ash, and to any
others that I haven't mentioned, this fic is for all of you.  You
all have inspired me in words that I cannot express and even if I
tried, I'd start balling as I'm about to while I'm writing this, so
I will stop.  I love you all and this fic is purely for you guys.


~ Los Angeles, 2007~

I used to be a girl.  An innocent child…I gave up that dream a long
time ago.  I did things to myself that, under normal circumstances,
never would have occurred.

I did it all because my parents had abandoned me pretty much since
birth.  I grew up in an orphanage, with all of the rest of the
troubled and misused youth in Los Angeles.

Even that damn orphanage in "Annie" was like the lap of luxury
compared to what I went through.

I was fine until the moment I hit puberty.  Then that evil wench of
a headmistress, Maggie Walsh, introduced me to what she called
my "coming out".

I'll never forget that day.

I wanted to puke my brains out after feeling all that torture. 

I tried to get away but they just pulled me back and laughed. 

No one could stop them, not even the social workers.  Everyone knew
what was going on, and no one did a damn thing to stop it.

I would also come to find out that I had not been the first girl
they had done this to.  Practically the whole orphanage had been
exposed to this, and those that hadn't were planned to be.

No one could get away from it.

So, eventually, all of us got used to it.  It was a daily ritual,
like brushing your teeth before bedtime, and taking a shower so you
didn't smell all icky.

The more I was exposed, the more turned on I got.  Disturbing, isn't
it?  The one thing that I could not stand was the one thing that I
was turned onto the most.

That wasn't the worst part.

The sickest factor in all of this was that I never felt ashamed of
it…not ever, after that first time. Then one day it all changed.

I met him.

My life was never going to be the same again.

T.B.C.