The Five (hic) Stages of Drunkenness

Stage 1 - SMART

This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe .
You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen .
At this stage you are always RIGHT . And , of course , the person who you are talking to is very WRONG . This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART .

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING

This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the bar and that people fancy you .
You can go up to a perfect stranger , knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you .
Bear in mind that you are still SMART , so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun .

Stage 3 - RICH

This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the World .
You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar .
You can also make bets at this stage because you're still SMART . So , naturally , you will win all your bets .
It doesn't matter how much you bet because you are RICH .
You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy , because you are now the BEST LOOKING person in the World .

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF

You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone ; especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing . This is because nothing can hurt you .
At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge them to a battle of wits or money . You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART , you're RICH and hell , you're BETTER LOOKING than them anyway .

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE

This is the final stage of drunkenness . At this point you can do anything , because no-one can see you .
You dance on the table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you .
You can also snog the face off them because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you .
You are also INVISIBLE to the person who wants to fight you .
You can walk through the streets singing at the top of your lungs because no-one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART , you know all the words .

Boy you are SMART !!! You found the link to this page and that makes you Visitor number

Now be SMART again and go back to my homepage .