The Security Squad Wants You

Contact the Supply Sgt for recruitment details.

Security Squad Acceptable Minimum Standards:

WARNING:  All Candidates must meet or exceed at least two of the following SSAMS:

SSAM01:  Have you ever been described as "under-tall"?

SSAM02: Have you ever looked at a menu and said "Yes, that'll be fine"?

SSAM03: Do you have a "cute" nickname, like Tiny or Bubba?

SSAM04: Can you fit in AeroStitch? ("No" is the acceptable standard)

SSAM05:  Do restaurants regret their "All you care to eat" specials?

SSAM06: Are you a member of COG?

SSAM07:  Do you shop at the "special clothing" stores?

SSAM08:  Have you ever ridden from Washington, DC or Salt Lake City to Kansas City, just for dinner?

SSAM09:  Do you have $2.50?