| Three On a Meathook (1972) |
| Without a doubt, Three On a Meathook has one of the most vivid and effective titles from the 70s grindhouse era. Most seem to feel that it falls completely flat of the titles potential. While I don't completely disagree, I think people are often a little to hard on director William Girdler's second feature. Breaking it down piece by piece, it doesn't look like we have a whole lot here. The gore is poor, the cinematography is poor, the acting is terrible, and there is little to no suspense. Somehow though, the final product outweighs the sum of its parts. |
| The movie opens up with three coeds who are taking a girls only trip and not telling their boyfriends where they're going. We get most of this exposition from the prettiest of the three, who seems to have no problem with gratuitous nudity. Unfortunately for them though, after a pleasant swim, their car breaks down. Luckily enough, there's a local weirdo passing by who picks them up and takes them home. Home isn't all that welcoming though as we meet the weirdo's father. He insists that the girls not stay, as apparently the weirdo acts a bit 'funny' around women. |
| At this point the movie throws a bit of a curveball.. Probably following a nod from Hitchcock's Psycho (the too were both very loosely based on the real life Ed Gein case) all of our girls are slaughtered - even the blonde with the great legs, whom I assumed was the lead. This scene is quite effective, showcasing the majority of the film's gore and action. I was indeed surprised to see our cast reduced to almost nothing in about 5 minutes. After that though, the rest of the movie is questionable. The next day the weirdo's father is shocked at the massacre and cleans it up Norman Bates style. The weirdo himself is pretty shook up and takes off for a night on the town. This is a pretty somber night though, for both the weirdo and the audience. Here we roll into one of the most painfully dull strecthes of film I've ever experienced. We watch 70s band American Xpress make their way through not one, but two dull songs as our weirdo gets all introspective on us. Introspective characters are tough to get across on film, and here our weirdo just ends up being boring. |
| Eventually we do get through the extended versions of American Xpress's greatest hits. What we get out of this though, is that our weirdo meets another girl that he likes...and she likes him too! They spend some real quality time together, frolicing on a swingset and opening up to each otther. Having not learned from previous experiences, the weirdo invites he to spend the night. Of course, the father is pretty upset by this and we brace ourselves for some major league carnage. Well, not really, but we do get a patially predictable but ultimately satisfying twist at the end. |
| Somehow, despite the best efforts of American Xpress, I did enjoy watching this movie. It's faults are plain to see, but the qualities of Three On a Meathook will probably only by evident to seasoned fans of early 70s cheap-o trash cinema. Not that every trash fan will enjoy this movie, but they're the only ones that will give it a chance (they're also probably the only ones that will make it through the first reel). Maybe there shoudl be an exclusive club, onpen only to those who have sat through Three On a Meathook. It would be interesting to see who would show up to the meetings! |
| Like I said earlier, this is director William Girdler's second feature, following Asylum of Satan. To say the least, he had an interesting and versatile career. There is an absolutely wonderful site with more information than any Girdler fan could ever hope for located at www.williamgirdler.com - go check them out! You can learn far more abou t Girdler and his films at this site than I could ever hope to do in a small review. |
| Before I had seen the film and only knew the title, I had always assumed that this was a Texas Chainsaw Massacre knock off. Come to find out, this one came out two years earlier! That's about the end of the comparisons though, Three On a Meathook actually has much less to do with meathooks than the classic TCM. Three On a Meathook has nowhere near the intensity or savagery of TCM, but then again, no one said it did. Almost any horror film would pale in comparison to Hooper's masterpiece, so it would be unfair to expect this little film to do so. |
| I give this one 1 and 1/2 out of 3 meathooks, or 2 and 1/2 out of five stars. |
| Review by Joe Canistro 10/28/04 |
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