Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
What are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
It's not your fault!
They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favorite pet,
You may not be a bed of roses,
And you're no friends to those with noses!
Two Of Them Kissed (Last Night)
There was a girl, We'll call her Betty
And a guy, Let's call him Neil,
Now, I can't stress this point too strongly,
This story isn't real.
Now our Neil must decide,
Who will be the girl that he casts aside,
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly,
Or will it be the one who we'll call....Lulie?
He MUST decide, He MUST decide,
Even though I made him up he must decide!!
Terry's A Jerk
Terry's a jerk!
'Cause he won't let me work!
And I hate Central Perk!
And you're all invited to bite me!!!
When You Get Older
There'll be times when you get older,
When you'll want to sleep with people,
Just to make them like you...
BUT DON'T!!!!
'Cause...that's another thing that you don't wanna do!
Everybody! That's another thing that you don't wanna do!
Bisexuals
Sometimes men love women,
And sometimes men love men,
And then there are bisexuals,
Though some just say their kidding themselves!
La la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la....
Animal Food Song
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo
The cow in the meadow goes moo
Then the farmer hits on the head and grinds him up and that's how we get hamburgers
Noooooooowwwww the chicken!
Shower Song
I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And tangren spelled backwards is nergnat
Lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat
As needed
Dumb Drunken Bitch
(yelled) DUMB DRUNKEN BITCH!
(clapping, then phoebe speaking) Thank you!
66 Colors
...fuscia and mauve
Those are the sixty six colors of my bedroom
(spoken) Thank you. Thank you. Oh! And I invite all of you to count the colors in your bedroom.
Coma Guy
You don't have to be awake to be my man
Long as you have brainwaves, I'll be there to hold your hand
Though we just met the other day there's something I have got to say
(spoken because she sees Monica leaving) Okay, thank you, I'll be taking a short break (runs out)
Grandma
Now Grandma's a person who everyone likes
She bought you a train and a nice shiny bike
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru
But the truth is she died
And someday you will too
(chorus of La, la's)
Crazy Underwear
Crazy Underwear, creeping up my butt
Crazy underwear, always in a rut
Crazy underwear...
all songs, courtesy of Napster
