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| ABOUT THE CREW |
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| MONEY JOKES |
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| NO MORE WELFARE FOR ME |
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| A man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job." The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in a black Mercedes, and the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays trips. The salary package is $100,000 a year!" The man said, "You're bullshitting me man! "The man behind the counter said, "Yeah, well, you started it." |
| BALANCING CHECKBOOKS |
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| Tired of having to balance his wife Lucy�s checkbook, Bob made a deal with her; he would only look at it after she had spent a few hours trying to wrestle it into shape. Only then would he lend his expertise. The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, the woman said proudly, �There! I�ve done it! I made it balance!� |
| Impressed, Bob came over to take a look. �Let�s see � mortgage 550.00�electricity 70.50�phone 35.00.� His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry. �It says here ESP, 615.00. What the heck is that?� �Oh,� she said, �That means, Error Some Place.� |
| Dream House We had built our dream house some years ago, and furnished it with quality pieces as we could afford them. Now the delivery truck carrying the last purchase, a new bedroom suite, was pulling into the driveway. "Finally!" I exclaimed, flinging open the front door as the driver walked up to the house. "I've been waiting twelve years for this!" "Don't blame me, lady," he said. "I just got the order this morning." |