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| Devoted Admirer For months Bill had been Lynn's devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions. "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," Bill began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being, a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one's absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows." To his delight, Bill saw a sympathetic gleam in Lynn's eyes. Then she nodded in agreement. Finally, Lynn responded, "I think it's a great idea! Can I help you choose which puppy to buy?" Top Thing Things NOT To Say When Picking Up A Date 10. "Sorry I'm a little late. I had to stop by the drugstore." 9. "Show me how you used to spank her." 8. "Please come inside? Wow, you sound just like your daughter." 7. "Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?" 6. "I just got my license today." 5. "I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me mature." 4. "Five bucks says she's a D-cup." 3. "Hey do you have an empty pop can and some matches?" 2. "Hi. I'm Robert, but my friends call me 'Back Door Bob.'" 1. "So, does your wife just lay there during sex too? Pick up lines Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? I am Sorry Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you. All my love, Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery. |