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| LAWYER JOKES |
| Reincarnation Why are politicians proof of reincarnation? You just can't get that screwed up in one lifetime. |
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| Materialistic |
| A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined. |
| "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!" "Oh my god", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex!" |
| NOT GOING TO JAIL WITH THAT KINDA MONEY |
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| After being arrested for robbery, Quinn hired the best lawyer in town. �Look,� the crook said, �I�ve got nearly a million in cash in my bank box. Can you get me off?� The lawyer said, �Believe me, pal, you will never go to prison with that kind of money.� And sure enough, he did not. He went to prison flat broke. |
| The Clever Lawyer A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer's assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out. |