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| ABOUT THE CREW |
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| BAR & DRINKING JOKES |
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| A PERFECT DATE Approaching the woman at a single�s bar, the young man said, �Hi cookie. How about a date?� �Forget it,� she said. �I never go out with a perfect stranger.� �We are both in luck,� he said. I�m far from perfect.� |
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| THE PIRATE AND THE SEA |
| seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off". |
| "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about the hook"? "Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand clean off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye", replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked. "Well..." said the pirate, "That was my first day with the hook." |
| A Cripple A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, 'I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk.' Our wasted friend asked, 'Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?' Yeah, buddy, I'm sure,' said the copper. 'Let's go.' Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, 'Thank goodness, I thought I was a cripple.' |
| A guy runs into the bar and says, "Quick, pour me 5 shots of your best scotch." The bartender pours them and the man drinks them as fast as he can. "Wow that's the fastest I've seen anyone drink," says the bartender. "Well you'd drink that fast if you had what I had," The man says "Oh my god," the bartender says, "What do you have?" The man replies "50 cents." |
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| WHAT DO YOU HAVE? |
| I Wont Let You In A bar owner locked up his place at 2 AM and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang. �What time do you open up in the morning?� he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire. The owner was so furious; he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. �Listen, the owner shouted, �there�s no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn�t let a person in your condition in�� �I don�t want to get in,� the caller interjected. �I want to get out.� |