| Old diary 2001/09/10 14:29:05 |
| another boring afternoon. i try to find the right tool to fix that ceiling fan in kitchen which has stopped for quiet sometimes. i need tools.. and it starts to rain. i go up to the attic.. dig through all my old boxes. it gets really dark in the attic. the lighting passes through the little tiffany window in the attic. under the dim light.. i find a old little blue book with a lock on it. my old little diary.. i pray open the lock since i do not have the key. a little blue book, bought by me.. dated in 1985. i wrote around 50-100 words everyday when i was in 10th grade. i spend half of the afternoon reading it, after i am done with the ceiling fan. i laughed at myself.. i was so naive and childish... i passed my written test for driving in that year. i got my first old used car.. i felt in love with my distant cousin in that summer.... i worked in the restaurant as a delivery boy and making 45 bucks per night on a good day.... i struggled to stay in school... i rode my bicycle in the night to the park... circling around the lake in flushing meadow park... i walked in the rain when my cousin found a boyfriend...i did not own a dog yet... i still live in a room instead of a house.... but i was so pure.. i wonder if i start to write diary again.. will i be as honest as how i was before? i felt sad.. had i changed to someone i wished not to be when i was 16? my old bike is collecting dust in the garage. my old friends were gone.. my old car were sleeping somewhere in the junkyard... i had climbed to the top.. and then i fell... all i have now is myself to cling onto. i feel that i am much poor then i was 16... i guess i was happier back then.. what did i want back then? and what do i want now? it rains harder.. and i look out of the window... i left my car windows opened.. my seats were all wet... it's just another autumn afternoon spend at home.... let me get my umbrella.. a gift from my old job.... and walk in the rain again... just like how i was when i was 16... |
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