| Not working 2001/07/28 22:53:07 |
| it's the last time i am telling him. it is not going to work at all. he said to me... "i know.. but i can not help it. she is my dream girl. she is what i had been waiting for my entire life." "i can not believe it." i told him. "you can not be falling in love with someone that has been married for 2 years and having a baby in just 3 days. it is morally wrong.. and ... and...it's just totally wrong." "i don't care" he said. "i was never as happy as those 3 days when i was with her. how about you coffee? when was the last time you can really tell yourself that you are happy?" i can never argue with him. i have known him for too long that i could have guessed his next move better then his parents(or himself). i know whatever i say to him will be useless. we are having a few Smirnoff ice right in the parking lot near the bridge. HCL (that is him) laughed at me. "coffee, you should know this place better then anyone. it's your hiding place when you have problems. you had told me how exciting you felt when you met your duck. and now i am telling you that i just happen to have the same feeling about her as when you met duck. i understand that i should not get involved with her. but then again. she is only 29 and she does not have to suffer an unhappy marriage." "who are you to judge that they are not happy?" they might have a little problems but once they get used to marriage life.. they would be fine." i told HCL. "look at me and duck.. we are not together anymore. we were such a wonderful couple and i thought she could have been my dream girl too." "it's too late HCL." i said. "let's say if she gets divorced.. what about their baby? have you thought about the baby? what are you gonna do with it? is she going to get a abortion because she met you and wanted to separate from her husband? do you want to be her baby's dad if she decide to keep the baby? there will be a lot of legal issue and you don't want that!" "it was not because of me that she wants to have a divorce. their marriage has have problems before i ever met her." HCL said. " i don't care if i have to be her baby's dad. i don't care..." "shut up! i yelled. "are you out of your mind? i am warning you that if you kept on thinking of this non-sense.. i won't want to be your friend ever again!" i just can not see HCL losing himself like that. he is out of his mind for sure. i gotta find a way to clear him up. "shut up? don't ever yell at me!" HCL yelled back at me. "look at yourself, coffee. you were just jealous of me because i found my dream girl. look at you now. you don't have a direction of what you are going to do with your life. you are going to be 33 soon. yet.. what happen to your love? what had happen to your duck? you took her for granted just because she loves you dearly. when was the last time you took her seriously? now she is gone and you are whining like dog. you know what coffee? you deserve it!" i do not know what to say to my dear friend. my own life is messed up already. who am i to tell him what to do. he would figure it out.. he would. he always knows what he wants in his life. maybe i just mirrored my own insecurities on him. i am afraid of commitment yet he is strong and focused enough to know what he wants. maybe he was doing the right thing. just give him a little time. "but you were too old to dream! you are not teenager anymore." i reminded him on the way back home on his convertible jeep. "love is just love, my friend." he turned to me and smiled. "we only live once. i want to do something that i really want before it's too late. maybe it's time that you go and find your duck. you know where she is." yeah.. just maybe.... i got headache from Smirnoff ice.. i will face it tomorrow after i wake up.... yeah i will face it tomorrow.. but just think again.. my dear friend.. think before you step your next step. |
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