babyblue

in love relationship, there is a fine line between love and pain. a relationship without pain is a relationship not worth having. to some, pains simply mean growing up. but how do we know when the growing pain stop, and the pain pain take over? how do you know when enough is enough?
you know a lot of times i wish you were my duck. i dreamed if she still loves me that much...
here is a story i wrote for you..

i don't know how many times i have fall on this damn roller blade in kissena park. since i got laid off few weeks ago and have nothing to do now, i just want to master how to roller blade. but it is never as easy as roller-skating as i used to like. the break is on the wrong side of the shoes!. and of course, it has a lot to do with my age. i guess i am not young anymore.

this is the 6th day i skate here. right next to the pond where a lot of elder people enjoy the morning fresh air and little kiddies riding on the bicycles. young mothers carry their babies in strollers chatting on the park bench. joggers wear out their new nike sneakers mixed with roller skaters who try to wear out their first sets of wheels in order to buy new ones.

that same little girl sat on the same park bench again. she always smiles at me when i skate pass her. she is wearing her full black armor protector. she is such a cute little chinese girl with shinny black hair with the smile that is prettier then morning glory.

she smiles at me again and said greet me.
"hi there little girl, how you doing today?" i smile to her as i rub my bleeding ankle.
"here is a band-aid, hehe" she hands one with hello kitty print to me.
"what is your name little girl and how old are you?" i smile and ask her.
"babypink. and i am 7", she says to me. "that is a beautiful name. who name you like that?" i ask her.
"my sister; her name is babyblue." then she slowly tells me how she and her sister stay with each other while her parents work in taiwan. and she told me that her sister is a rabbit.
"a rabbit?" i questioned. "she was born in the year of rabbit." she said. "she is 26 now." i thought her sister is younger.. but i guess not.
"daddy said i was an accident. what is an accident?" she asks me. hahaha... i know how that had happened. but how do i explain something like that to this little girl?
"ok i gotta go.. my sister is here" she said. there comes a pretty girl with long hair. she smiles like the daisies that bloom in the park. she ran toward the girl.
okey time for me to go.. i guess.. moving with a terrible motion, i skate away.

for the next few of days, i start to see my little princess, babypink, in the park, on bench, next to the pond. it always end the same.. her sister shows up 100 feet away and i skate away. why didn't i have the gut to talk to her? i don't know. i guess being single for so long make me kind of shy away from pretty girls. not having a decent job now made me want to get away from relationship even more..

it's friday morning. i don't see that little princess on the park bench.
i am sitting here, alone, watching people walking by me, greet me with smiles. it's a little humid, sun hides behind the cloud. a little disappointing not to see babypink.
a familiar girl walks toward me. isn't that babyblue?
"hi there? babyblue." i greet her and i have no idea where i got the courage from to talk to her. she is dressed in red shirt and black shorts, white sneakers, daisy on her hand; she looks like if she has tons of secrets in her mind. she is startled by my voice.. looking at me as if she has never seen me in her life.

"you are.....?" babyblue is looking at me with her puzzled eyes. "i am coffee, i sat here for a few days chatting with your sister while you came to pick her up."

babyblue's looking at me...mad.

"mister, or coffee.. whatever your name is, i don't know where do you get my name from. and it is not funny to make a joke with people that passed away years ago." she said. now i am the one who is puzzled.. "what.....? but......? please listen to me.." i find something weird is expanding in the dampened moisture air.
she is patient enough sit down and listen to what i have to say to her while anger on her face fades away.

"my sister was died of bone cancer and passed away 3 years ago today. why do you make such a nasty joke to me?" she speaks calmly. and this time.. i am the one who is puzzled.
"but i have seen her for the past few days on this park bench. she told me about you that is how i got your name. didn't you just show up here at his time to pick her up everyday?" i asked her.
"me? no...." she is quiet for a while, then tells me she dreamed of her little sister for the past few days that is why she showed up here. babyblue used to take babypink here to skate all the time before they found out babypink had cancer.

we both sit there, silently.

there are things in the world that are just hard to explain; and they don't need to be explained; i guess. but it always happens for a reason. what is the reason for babypink to pick me to spoke to?... perhaps she wants me to meet babyblue, who is also sad and lonely? they said 2 negatives do not make a positive.. but who knows? i can never tell.. but i know i will be here, at the park bench again tomorrow. i have a feeling that babypink will never be here.

but babyblue will.

i will come here again..

tomorrow..