“I hate the fact that this case has got you mixed up in it,” said the figure, “I hate it very much.  Tell me what you’ve got to do with it so I know exactly what it is I’m hating.”

   Dirk stared at the neat, thin face in astonishment.

   “Gilks?” he said.

   “Don’t stand there looking like a startled whatsisname, what are those things that aren’t seals? Much worse then seals.  Big, blubbery things.  Dugongs.  Don’t stand there looking like a startled dugong.  Why has that…” Gilks pointed into the room behind him, “why has that…man in there got your name and telephone number on an envelope full of money?”

   “How m…” started Dirk.

   “Three hundred pounds,” said Gilks.  “Why?”

   “Perhaps you would allow me to speak to my client,” said

Dirk.

   “Your client, eh?” said Gilks grimly.  “Yes.  All right.  Why don’t you speak to him?  I’d be interested to hear what you have to say.”  He stood back stiffly, and waved Dirk into the room.

   Dirk gathered his thoughts and entered the room in a state of controlled composure which lasted for just over a second.

   Most of his client was sitting quietly in a comfortable chair in front of the hi-fi.  The chair was placed in the optimal listening position – about twice as far back from the speakers as the distance between them, which is generally considered to be ideal for stereo imaging.

   He seemed generally to be casual and relaxed with his legs crossed and a half-finished cup of coffee on the small table beside him.  Distressingly, though, his head was sitting neatly on the middle of the record which was revolving on the hi fi turntable, with the tone arm snuggling up against the neck and constantly being deflected back into the same groove.  As the head revolved it seemed once every 1.8 seconds or so to shoot Dirk a reproachful glance, as if to say,  “See what happens when you don’t turn up on time like I asked you to,” then it would sweep on round to the wall, round, round, and back to the front again with more reproach.

“Don’t pick it up, pick it up, pick i-

“Don’t pick it up, pick it up, pick i-”