| Anton Rubenstein�s brother, Nikolai offered Peter a job at the Moscow Music Conservatory, so in 1866 he moved there and began his life on his own. Once there, he had a chance to perform �Winter Daydreams� and the outcome was really well. While overworking himself writing �Symphony No. 1,� he spent most of his time depressed, gloomy, and nervous having a mental breakdown. During this time, he wrote symphonies, string quartets, concertos, and operas, but some of it was only satisfactory because he didn�t write them from the heart. His depression was getting to him severely, and Tchaikovsky would sometimes get mental block. Not only this, but Peter had relationship problems. A woman named Antonia Ivanovana Milyukoff became infatuated with the composer, and she threatened suicide if he wouldn�t marry him. He knew at the time that he didn�t have many chances at something like this, reluctantly; he took her �offer.� 20 days after their marriage on July 6, 1877, he couldn�t handle being around Antonia anymore, so he left for the summer. Tchaikovsky returned in September, but things were terrible again. Neither of them was to blame, he said in an interview later, but they simply didn�t have any chemistry (www.geocities.com/vienna). Within a month, they were separated, and Peter went to St. Petersburg, having another nervous breakdown. In the middle of the turmoil with his wife, Peter realized he would live a lonely life, without children or parners, because of his homosexuality. At the time it was considered a sin and a crime, so Peter�s fragile mind had more to think about. This time, however; Tchaikovsky went unconscious for 2 days, so doctors ordered him to live in Clarens (www.geocities.com/vienna), on Lake Geneva, until he could compose himself again. |
