It�s been awhile since I wrote an in-depth commentary �
I just watched Ric Flair�s speech from the Final Nitro on his DVD and it inspired me to write something about wrestling. I was going to write about my upcoming WWE bookings. I was going to write about the various people that have contributed to my success thus far on the indy scene but I then thought about my 60 minute match with Dangerboy a few months ago in the Polish Hall. I�ve had numerous people (mainly my peers in the business) comment on the match and say that it was one of the best matches they have ever seen live. I decided after the match to not go online and write about the match, but right now I�m inspired to.
I knew for awhile what I was getting into that night. Right after the show I was heading down to Nashville to try my luck with TNA. So I had trained hard for about a month prior to the match (and the trip) to get into the best shape of my career. And I was. But in the end, nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to be put through.
I showed up early to the Polish Hall that day to get my head straight and to prepare for the match. By the time intermission hit halfway through the show I started to get really nervous. I normally get nervous before matches (especially in front of the ever-tenacious NEO crowd) � but this night (for obvious reasons) I was extra nervous. Was I going to be able to keep these people�s attention for 60 minutes? I had no idea. And to tell you the truth � I wasn�t really sure. It�s one thing to do an �Iron-Man Match� where the crowd KNOWS the match is going to last 60 minutes no matter what. It�s another thing to try and keep the attention of a crowd that assumes the match is only going to last 20 minutes tops. I had my work cut out for me. The music hit and it was time to go to the ring.
The whole match is actually a blur to me. One huge blur. I drove 12 hours to Nashville with TJ, Jake O�Reilly, and Crazzy Steve immediately after the match and they were asking me questions about the match, and any particular things they asked me were returned with, �I don�t remember.� A lot went down in 60 minutes. I still haven�t seen the match on tape yet. And I�m not entirely sure that I want to. I am my own worst critic. I�ve had numerous people (like I said before) praise me for the things Dangerboy and I did in that match, so in my eyes, if it was a success with the boys, it was a success to me. But, if I watch it on tape, I think I�ll start questioning the match. I�ll pick it apart (like I do with all my matches), and I assume after the end of 60 minutes, I�ll conclude that the match was �OK.� BUT, I still haven�t seen the match yet, so I�ll let you know when I do.
Back to the match. I�ve told numerous people after the event that that was bar none the hardest thing I�ve physically ever done in my life. Hands down. Prior to that, I think the longest match I had wrestled in was MAYBE 35 minutes. And that was a 6 man tag. So I didn�t see all of those 35 minutes myself. So 60 minutes was more than 2 times longer than I had ever wrestled before.
I wasn�t planning on the match to take so much out of me mentally. I knew what I was getting into physically. But not mentally. So much goes through your mind when you are in front of people for that long trying to manipulate their emotions. You start second guessing your talent. You start second guessing their satisfaction. And you start second guessing whether your body is going to hold up. There was numerous times in that match when I literally wanted to stay down. I didn�t think I was going to get up. It took ever ounce of energy in my system to get up and continue to perform.
At the end of the match, something happened to me in the middle of the ring that has never happened to me before. I lost control of my emotions. I started to cry. And not just a few tears. I mean, down-right, shoulder-shaking, uncontrollable weeping. I couldn�t stop. All of a sudden my whole career flashed before my eyes. I remembered the first bump I ever took in a ring. I remember Dangerboy getting me in the ring and saying, �OK, throw yourself back and attack the mat.� I remember it hurting like hell. I remembered the first match I had in the Polish Hall against Magnus with Inferno in my corner. I remembered the first title I ever won. I remember thinking that I NEVER, in my wildest dreams thought that a wrestler like Derek Wylde (a wrestler that I admired and respected for years in the business) would have that kind of match with me AND put me over the way he did. When you risk your life in that ring, and TRUST another human-being with your life for 60 minutes � it does something to you. I can�t even describe it. I was trying to explain it to Phil Latio last weekend. I couldn�t. He just smiled, nodded, and said, �I know what you mean.�
It�s not like I won a world title at Wrestlemania. It�s not like I busted my butt for 20 years to achieve what I had achieved that night. But I reacted like it. And I couldn�t help it. It meant so much to me to experience that with Derek Wylde. It meant a lot to me to experience that in the Polish Hall - a building that I had literally busted my body in for the last 4 years. It just meant so much to me. I�m at a loss for words right now trying to describe it. It just meant so much. I sat and cried in the back for about 10 minutes after the match.
I think I thought of that match after watching Ric Flair�s emotional final Nitro speech because that match exemplifies how I feel about wrestling. I love it. I respect it. And it�s what I want to do. I just want to get in the ring and go at for 60 minutes. I just want to wrestle. But, it�s also more than that. It�s sacrificing your body. It�s putting yourself to the limit. It�s telling yourself, OK, you�ve come this far, now just go that much farther. And once you�ve gone that far, you say, OK, now alittle farther. That�s what wrestling has been for me. I�m a goal orientated person. I achieve one goal and it�s on to the next. I never rest on my laurels. Sure, I got on national TV with TNA. Sure, I was on the same wrestling poster as my idol Bret Hart. Sure, I�ve won numerous titles across the country. Sure, I�ve gained the respect of my peers. Sure, I wrestled 60 minutes with a man that I respect and admire almost more than anyone else on earth. Sure, I�ve been offered a tryout for the WWE. These are all bigger accomplishments than I EVER thought I�d achieve when I started out in wrestling. But it can�t end their. And it won�t.
I love wrestling. Sometimes I think I love it too much. Almost to the point where it�s borderline idolatry (in the Biblical sense). But it�s something that I�ve always dreamed of doing. And God has given me the ability to do what I love. And he�s given me the opportunity to do things in this world, and meet people in this world that I never thought I�d meet. (I was doing backstage vignettes with Jimmy Hart at Ballpark Brawl for crying out loud � he was THE MAN to me when I was 7!!!) I�ve just been so blessed that I can�t help but think that God is preparing me for something. I don�t know exactly what yet � but I trust that it is big. I�ve had so many people (inside and outside of the business) shower me with respect and kind words. It means a lot to me. I�ve had people tell me they think I�m going to be one of the guys that �makes it.� I�ve been told by some other friends that God has big plans for me. I believe he does. And I believe wrestling is preparing me for that. Whatever that may be.
I�m not sure how to end this. I guess I�ll end it with thanks. I am thankful for all that God has given me in the wrestling business. I am thankful for all the friends I have made and am going to make. I am thankful that I have been protected and have been safe in the last 4 years I�ve been in the business. I have been truly blessed. And for that I am thankful.
Take care. And remember, if anyone wants to drop me a line or talk, you know where to reach me ([email protected]).
Philippians 4:6-7
God bless,
Cody