Star Ocean: The Second Story:
Episode 4 ( Season 1 ): The Warranty:
Rena: ( while Claude can be seen hugging her ) … Oh, no. I can tell even NOW! … Your arms used to be able to reach further around me! I'm getting bigger, Claude…; I'll be known as the Chubster!!!!
Claude: ….
Coming up... NEXT!!!!
Star Ocean Ex
The wild world of anime is about to be upturned; Star Ocean Ex airs every Tuesday in Japan, at 6:30 PM Japanese time! That's right! Star Ocean 2 is now an anime series! Join Claude, Rena, and friends on their quest to save Expel from the disasters of the Sorcery Globe! Will the series make it to the US? Only time will tell….
***** Beginning Tag *****
-8:26 AM - Brandywine Tavern-
***** Beginning Tag *****
Claude, Rena, Ashton, Precis, Noel, and Chisato are all gathered together at a table in the tavern. What's more, Rena and Precis are wearing frog caps! Chisato is holding the third one in her hand….
Rena:
I don't know; these frog caps sure are itchy; but they look cute…. ( smiles )Precis:
I like 'em too!Claude: Chisato, those hats were yours, right?
Chisato: Yes; my mom and I were going through some old stuff yesterday afternoon, back in North City. We found these three caps; I figured that you guys would like them….
Ashton:
Well, why don't you were one then, Chisato?Chisato: Are you kidding? No way! Hats are for the paranoid….
Noel: ….
Chisato: I'm serious! What do they do, anyway? Protect from the *sun*? The RAIN? Nobody *NEEDS* hats; except maybe the Wicked Witch of the West. Besides, it'll ruin my hair….
Ashton: I'll wear it, then….
All: ….
Ashton: Hey, I'm entitled to a hat too! I already have two more reptilian heads on me, after all; why not a third?
Gyoro and Ururun howl in agreement, as Ashton puts on the final cap.
Claude: Anyway Chisato, if the hat bothers your hair so much, why not just get a haircut?
Chisato: From who? My mother…? She always cuts it too short. She never gets it right…; always too short….
Rena: Well, why not ask her to cut it so it's a little longer, then?
Chisato: Wait a minute… HOW could you cut something longer???? You know, Rena, you have an inverted way of looking at things….
Rena: ….
Precis: Say, Chisato, do you have any other hats on you…? ( happily ) … Like a ferret cap!? Maybe an otter… or a WOLVERINE!!!!
Rena: Say, what animal kingdom do those creatures belong to, again?
Noel: … It's the Weasel family….
Claude: -Or the *X-Men*!
Rena: The who….?
Claude: Never mind….
Rena: Well anyway, all of this talk on animals has sure diminished my appetite…. ( rubs her belly as if she were full )
Claude: ….
Rena: ( thinking ) This belly of mine… seems awfully LARGE …. ( out loud ) Say, guys…; perhaps it was not our little animal talk after all. Claude, do I look like I'm putting on some weight???? ( stands up so her belly is a few inches from Claude's face ) ….
Claude: ( almost forced backwards by Rena's proximity ) Well, from this view, who wouldn't look fat?
Rena: I KNEW it!!!!
Claude: No, Rena; I didn't mean you were fat! ( gives Rena a hug ) ….
Rena: ( saddened; hugs back ) … Oh, no. I can tell even NOW! … Your arms used to be able to reach further around me! I'm getting bigger, Claude…; I'll be known as the Chubster!!!!
Claude: ….
Rena: I think that I might need a diet….
Chisato: ( concerned ) Rena, are you not sure that you're taking this too far? You're not that fat at all….!….
Rena: See, guys? … Not THAT fat….
All: ….
Ashton: Well, if it's a diet you want, why not head over to the Weight Lawyer Restaurant with me later? They serve the finest health food salads, you know….
Rena: ( smiles at Ashton ) Alright, I'll be honored to….
Claude: ( to himself ) … The Chubster…. ….????
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**********
-9:34 AM - Claude's Brandywine Inn Room-
**********
Precis walks in; encounters Claude.
Claude:
… Precis? You're STILL wearing that silly frog cap?Precis: ( blinking, somehow puzzled at Claude's redundancy ) …. Apparently….
Claude: Don't you know that Rena and the others already took theirs off over an hour ago????
Precis: But I can't HELP it, Claude!!!! It fully defines my personality! The bright colors, the upturned eyeballs…; it's *boisterous*!
Claude: ….
Chisato enters the room, carrying a camera….
Precis: Hi Chisato! Say, could you take a picture of me in my NEW froggy hat???? …. PLEAZZZZE????
Chisato: Sorry, no can do. The camera is broken…; doesn't work a bit.
Claude: Shouldn't you throw it out then? It's practically useless….
Chisato: Nope, no need. It's alright; when I bought it, I was sure to obtain an extended warranty. In fact, I devised a scheme to make it permanent.
Claude: What????
Chisato: Yes; whenever I use my warranty to get my camera replaced for no charge, I'll renew my warranty as well. ( happily ) That way, I'll never have to pay another cent for a camera!
Claude: I don't know about this, Chisato…; it sounds like a method of cheating through the economy to me….
Precis: Well, Chisato DOES have a clever idea there. Besides, this whole concept of 'cheating….' What IS it, anyway….
Claude: What do you mean….????
Precis: It CAN'T be real…; the concept is too paradoxical….
Claude: Paradoxical????
Precis: Take education, for instance. Say somebody tries to 'cheat' on a test, right? … Well, if you REALLY cared about passing the class, then wouldn't you be smart enough to not need to cheat in the first place???? Think about it….
Chisato: You now, Precis DOES have a point….
Precis: Thanks!
Claude: Well, of course YOU think that, Chisato. You don't want to feel like a cheater….
Chisato: ….
**********
-10:12 AM - The Streets of Central City-
**********
Rena and Ashton are heading towards The Weight Lawyer Restaurant….
Rena:
Ashton, now that I think about it, isn't it awkward for us to be eating salad at this early hour?Ashton:
... Huh?Rena: It's only around 10:00 AM….
Ashton: Nonsense, Rena! Don't you know that salad is the universal food for all occasions????
Rena: ….
Ashton: It has some of everything…; it's the conglomerate *cornerstone* of culinary creation….
Rena: Yeah, well….
The two come upon The Weight Lawyer Restaurant….
Ashton: Welp; here we are!
Rena: ( peering inside the restaurant window ) Ooh… shortcake!
Ashton: Rena, have you already forgotten about your diet plan?
Rena: No, but it couldn't hurt to have just ONE piece, could it?
Ashton: Well… um… I suppose not….
The two enter the restaurant.
Rena: You know, the only thing that disturbs me these days about restaurants is the excessive waiting they make you go through. First, you must wait for a table. THEN, you have to wait to take your order! FINALLY, you need to wait for that order to arrive!!!! No wonder they're called waiters…; they don't wait on you… you wait for THEM….!
Ashton: ….
The two sight a worker approaching them….
Ashton: Well, we seem to have hit a lucky streak today!
Worker: Hey, no animals inside the store!
Ashton: What animals?
Worker: Apparently, THOSE animals… on your BACK!!!!
Ashton: ….
Rena: ( trying to help out Ashton ) Mister, those are not animals in the traditional sense. They're attached to him; not allowing them in would mean that Ashton couldn't go in, either. And, not allowing Ashton in just because of the dragons on his back would be like discrimination….
Worker: Sorry, ma'am, that's just the rule; no animals allowed. Now, this 'Ashton' fella had better scram, or I'll call the Nedian Defense Force Authorities myself!
Ashton: Alright already…; Rena, you can stay if you like… just remember to eat carefully….
Rena: I'm sorry Ashton….
The worker escorts Ashton out of the store….
Rena: … Maybe just ONE piece….
**********
-10:35 AM - Back at Claude's Brandywine Inn Hotel Room-
**********
Ashton is in the middle of telling Claude about his Weight Lawyer mishap….
Ashton:
-And he ordered me out of there because of poor Gyoro and Ururun! Like a dog!Claude:
Literally….Ashton: I can't believe it! What kind of a restaurant would deprive itself of business, anyway?
Claude: Restaurants are becoming increasingly discriminatory these days; next thing you know, they'll ban skinny people from entering! … So only the fat ones could clean them out of house and home; I'd bet they'd do anything for a bit more business!
Ashton: Well, with my luck, anything's possible….
Gyoro and Ururun howl in agreement.
Claude: Really?
Ashton: Of course! I'm so unlucky, I once got a paper cut on a *get well* card sent for a concussion!
Claude: … I see….; say, where's Rena-
Chisato enters the room, visibly angered.
Chisato: -THAT ARNON!!!! Would you guys believe it; he wouldn't accept my request for an infinite renew camera/warranty cycle!!!!
Claude: ….
Ashton: What do you mean?
Chisato: It was a perfect scheme! Quite simply, I was to renew my warranty whenever I was to return a broken camera! I should have never had to pay another cent for a camera again! But, 'Arnon' told me otherwise! This 'Hyper-on-Hyper' shop isn't all it's cracked up to be….
Claude: I had a feeling that it wouldn't work out…; what do you plan on doing now?
Chisato: Why, I'm going to try and settle this at the manufacturer's!
Ashton: ….
Precis and Noel enter the room, BOTH wearing frog caps….
Claude: Noel too?
Noel: That's right. I'm going to follow in Rena's footsteps….
Ashton: What do you mean?
Noel: I'm dieting too. Think about it…; the amount of animals I'll be saving by abstaining from meat digestion….
Claude: Speaking of Rena… where IS she, anyway????
Ashton: Oh, that's-
Rena enters the room, a look of discomfort on her face….
Ashton: -no longer a valid question….
Rena: Ooh, my stomach!
Claude: There you are! What happened, anyway?
Rena: … I think I overate Strawberry shortcake….
Ashton: I KNEW this would happen! I should have never left you there; shortcake IS you favorite food, is it not?
Rena: Well, I've definitely gained some weight from before….
Chisato: This idea of weight is actually kind of interesting, when you think about it. Take Santa Clause, for example….
Claude: What's so interesting about Santa's weight?
Chisato: It's actually ~numerically negative~! How do you think he's so big, yet could still fit down those small chimneys?
Claude: But it's impossible to have a negative weight! It would defy the laws of physics! After all, weight IS the product of mass and the magnitude of the gravitational constant, each always being positive. Besides, Santa isn't even REAL-
Chisato: -EXACTLY!!!! THAT'S how he can defy the laws of physics so easily! Don't you see????
Rena: ….
Precis: But if Santa doesn't exist, then shouldn't he weight be equivalent zero or something? After all, if something's not THERE, then how could it have weight in the first place….?
Noel: ….
Chisato: Aah, WRONG again!!!! He might not be real, but he does exist! He's in our dreams!
Precis: Alright, alright, you've proved you point! But if Santa's weight is really negative, then how do you account for his reindeer, who can FLY????
Chisato: Well, Precis, each Reindeer's weight is actually doubly negative to that of Santa Clause….
Rena: Double negative? Wouldn't that make the weight positive, then?
Chisato: No, that would be double negative. When you refer to something as doubly negative, you're multiplying the weight by two, NOT itself. See????
Precis: ….
Noel: Speaking of weight and dieting, Rena, would you mind dining with me at the restaurant. I don't think I'll be turned down like Ashton….
Ashton: ….
Rena: Really?
Noel: Sure! … Besides, I'm dieting too…; this frog cap represents my abstinence from meat….
Rena: ( smiles ) … Alright, I'll come.
Chisato: ………. Well, I'm off; I need to have a nice, long talk with the manufacturers of this here camera ( holds up her broken camera ) ….
Rena: ????
Claude: ( seeing Rena's curious expression ) I'll explain later….
Chisato leaves the room.
**********
-11:27 AM - The Manufacturer's Headquarters-
**********
Chisato can be seen talking to an official at the camera manufacturing company….
Chisato:
Sir, I have requested for an appointment to see the headmaster of your camera manufacturing company….Official:
Our boss and headmaster is waiting in his office. IF you would like to see him, please head directly to your right, down the hallway. His room is at the end….Chisato: Thank you.
Chisato heads down the hallway. After a bit of walking, she comes upon the boss' room.
Chisato: ( as she enters the room ) He-hello? Is anybody here?
Chisato sights a chair behind a large desk, facing away from her. On the desk, a name display bar with the word 'Tortellini' can be seen.
Chisato: Tortellini????
Tortellini: Yes-a…; it's-a me, alright-a!
Chisato is visibly nervous…; Tortellini's face is concealed, being turned around in his chair as he is….
Tortellini: … I-a see that you-a have a problem-a with the Hyper-On-a-Hyper Tool Shop-a, am I-a correct?
Chisato: … Why, yes….
Tortellini: Well-a, I have already received a report-a on your current situation-a; I might not-a be able to grant you your unlimited warranty access-a, but I-a have another prop-a-sition for you-a, to make up-a for it….
Chisato: ………. I'm listening….
Tortellini ( finally turning around, revealing a chubby, grizzled face with a cigar in his mouth ) Now-a, this is top secret-a…; my job-a lies on the line-a by me allowing you to do this-a; don't say this to anybody-a….
Chisato: Alright….
Tortellini: Now-a, here's the skinny…; we-a supply the Tool Shop with all of their-a cameras in stock-a. I can grant you-a a position in this pass over line-a. You can-a serve as a sort-a of middleman for our-a relationship…; you-a can make profit-a by helping us traffic-a cameras from our company to the Tool Shop-a….
Chisato: … And you're going to let me do this just like that????
Tortellini: Well-a, there is-a this one little catch-a. You can't expect-a to be granted such-a position without giving something in-a return….
Chisato: What would that be?
Tortellini: A picture-a… of a pretty girl….!
Chisato: ( nods ) Mmmm hmm….
Tortellini: I'll supply-a you with-a new camera, free of-a charge. You are-a to take this picture-a yourself; be sure to get whoever-a you take the picture of in-a good pose-a….!
Chisato: ………. Agreed! ( the two shake hands )
Tortellini: Ehh, he, he, he….
Chisato: ….
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*All phone numbers are fictional. Any resemblance to real-life numbers are entirely coincidental.
**********
-12:33 PM - The Streets of Central City-
**********
Rena and Noel are on their way to the Weight Lawyer Restaurant….
Rena:
What do you suppose we should eat once we get there?Noel:
Let's see… perhaps they have some Big Tuna….Rena: Big Tuna? Noel, I thought you were abstaining from meat ingestion….
Noel: I didn't know that fish WAS a meat….
Rena: … I never quite understood that myself. Pork is a meat. Lamb is a meat. But fish…; why don't vegetarians consider that to be a form of meat????
Noel: I don't know…; but since fish is one of the few 'meats' that I do eat, it's no surprise that it's my favorite……….
Rena: The same holds true for birds, you know…; 'poultry.' I don't know about ducks, but chickens, definitely…; I've seen people refer to them as non-meat. I just don't get it….
Noel: So, it looks as if we both can have the fish, right?
Rena: … Yes.
The two approach the Weight Lawyer Restaurant.
Noel: Well…, here we are….
Rena and Noel enter the restaurant. The worker from before approaches the two….
Worker: Hey, no animals!
Rena: What? What are you talking about????
Worker: That… that 'cat-man' next to you… with the frog cap!!!!
Rena: Noel….????
Worker: No animals allowed! Remember the rule???? … Come on, boy… you'd best leave before I call the authorities!
Noel ( as he's escorted out ) ….
Rena: Don't worry, Noel…; I'll have only the fish!!!!
Proprietor: ( to the restaurant worker, once he returns from removing Noel ) We'd best watch this one ( points at Rena, without her noticing ) ….
**********
-1:02 PM - Claude's Brandywine Inn Room-
**********
Noel enters Claude's room, sights Claude.
Claude:
So, Noel, how was your-…; on, no… where's Rena….?Noel:
Back at the restaurant.Claude: … I knew it! … Let me guess… they threw you out, too????
Noel: Yep. They said I was too 'cat' like. Now tell me, Claude - do I in any way REALLY remind you of a sort of cat????
Claude: … I'm not in critical acclaim of such….
Noel: ….
Claude: What of Rena?
Noel: Don't worry about her… she ate only the fish… pretty non-fattening, too….
Claude: Good.
All: ….
Claude: (looking at Noel's frog cap ) You know, that thing looks weird on you, Noel-
Precis and Rena enter the room. Rena has a belly even bigger than before; Precis urges Rena to wear the frog hat again.
Precis: C'mon! Try it on! It'll help you get into the dieting spirit!
Rena: It’s cute, but too silly for me to wear any longer….!
Precis: ….
Claude: Let me guess…; you overate on the fish….
Rena: … Yes….
Claude: ….
Noel: ….
Precis: … Maybe Ashton will wear the frog cap again…; I'm going to his room, I'll be back in a few!
Precis leaves the room, just as Chisato enters.
Chisato: Hey Precis…; hi everyone!
Precis: Hiya! … Bye!
Precis exits from view….
Chisato: Well, everyone… I did it!!!!
Claude: Yes?
Chisato: I met with the manufacturer of the camera's… he's agreed on a system with which I could make profit!!!! His name's Tortellini….
Claude: So, you're taking orders from a guy named Tortellini….?
Chisato: ( happily ) Yep!
Claude: … I EAT things by that name!
Chisato: Well, all's I need is a picture of somebody pretty, and he'll allow me to serve as the new middleman in charge of sending cameras from their company to the Tool Shop….
Noel: But Chisato, don't you already have a job at The Nede Chronicle?
Chisato: It's no big deal…; see, I won't actually have to do any WORK…; Tortellini has that part covered….
Noel: ….
Claude: Still, I wouldn't trust this 'Tortellini' fellow too much….
Chisato: Well anyway, I just need to get that picture, and I can be on my way! Rena… would you care to do the honor of posing?
Rena: Wow, me….? I'm really flattered, Chisato, but-
Chisato: -Huh?
Rena: I can't. This belly of mine is simply too large - it'll be embarrassing….
Chisato: But Rena-
Rena: Why not ask Precis?
Chisato: Alright. I hope she's more cooperative…; it should be a sinch without her worry of a belly….
Rena: She's in Ashton's room…; she was trying to get him to wear a frog cap….
Claude: Somehow, I think that Ashton will be more than willing to accept….
Chisato leaves the room….
**********
-1:16 PM - Ashton's Brandywine Inn Room-
**********
Chisato and Precis are conversing….
Chisato:
Say, Precis, would it be alright if I take a picture of you?Precis:
Sure, why not?Chisato: Alright, Precis - could you just take off that frog hat of yours?
Precis: What? … Why????
Chisato: Well, I'm going to need to take a picture of you for a guy in the camera manufacturing business; that frog hat makes you look too silly….
Precis: But Chisato! The hat makes me look more pretty. ( yelling out to Ashton ) RIGHT, ASHTON!?
Ashton: ( yelling back from the bathroom ) YEP!!!!
Chisato: Well, I can't take a picture of you like THIS….
"Knock, knock, knock!!!!"
Chisato: Who could that be?
Chisato opens the door, only to sight Tortellini!
Chisato: Tortellini????
Tortellini: Hey-a! How's that picture coming-a?
Precis: Who is this?
Chisato: He's the head of a camera manufacturing company. The rest is… confidential….
Tortellini: ( smiles ) ….
Chisato: ( nervously waves at Tortellini ) ….
Tortellini: So, do-a you have-a any pictures for me-a?
Chisato: Eh… no….
Tortellini: … So I see….
Chisato: ( concocting a solution to her dilemma ) Hmmm…; why not let me take a picture of a girl… in THIS???? ( points to Precis' frog cap )
Precis: huh????
Tortellini: What is it-a?
Chisato: … Get this. A *frog* cap!!!! The LATEST in modern fashion!
Tortellini: Hmmm… could I-a see?
Chisato: Sure, why not?
Tortellini takes the frog cap off of Precis' head, and puts it on his own….
Precis: H-hey!!!!
Tortellini: Hey-a… ( smiles, looking at Chisato ) … I like it-a!!!!
Chisato: ….
Tortellini: Well-a…; I must be going-a….
Tortellini proceeds toward the exit door.
Tortellini: ( between the door jam ) Now-a, just remember; a woman… in a cap-a! ( smiles and exits )
Chisato: ….
Precis: What about my picture?
Chisato: But, you don't have a cap anymore! … Just when I needed it the most……….
Precis: ….
The Wedding of the Century is about to take place! The kingdoms of Cross will be in heated celebration as Celine Jules and Clother T. Cross are wed on their very special day!
Matrimonial Dissolution
However, all is not well. Those with malice in their hearts have other plans for the newlyweds. A Heraldic Wizard plots the death of Celine's fiancée, in an attempt to retaliate against her and her friends. If the auction wasn't enough to grant him the treasures of the Cross Cave, then maybe this plot might be enough to grant him the treasures of the entire kingdom!
Can Rena, Claude, and all their friends thwart the plans of the nefarious wizard in time? That... nobody knows..........
Matrimonial Dissolution
- a work-in-progress fanfiction from the creator of Fantastic Fiction and The Nede Chronicles!**********
-1:24 PM - Claude's Brandywine Inn Room-
**********
Claude and Chisato are conversing....
Claude:
So, the only way to get that frog hat off of Precis was to get it onto this 'Tortellini' fellow….?Chisato: Mmmm hmm….
Claude: And, once you did that, he didn't want a picture of her without the cap….
Chisato: Right. He left before I could ask him to give it back….
Claude: Quite an interesting situation.
Chisato: Actually, I was hoping to simply get him to like the idea of the frog cap so I could get away with taking the picture of Precis IN it, see? … It's just that he liked the idea a little TOO well….
Claude: Why do you suppose he came all the way to Brandywine here, anyway?
Chisato: I don't know…; maybe he has a crush on me?
Claude: … One could wonder. He DID want a picture of a beautiful woman….
Chisato: … Well, the case is, I need to find another frog hat from somewhere….
Claude: Why not just get one off of Ashton or Noel?
Chisato: Are you kidding? I tried that already….! They like those things even more than Tortellini…; one might even say that they're afraid to take them off….
Claude: So I see….
Chisato: No kidding…; it's the paranoia, I'm telling you!
Claude: Why couldn't this Tortellini just have requested for the picture of a baby or something? You don't have to ask one permission to take it's picture, and there's no posing required….
Chisato: Are you kidding? Babies give me the creeps….
Claude: Why's that?
Chisato: They're too much like old men! … Think about it…; both are short, chubby, bald…; both of them have wrinkles, and no teeth to speak of whatsoever….
Claude: ….
Chisato: They're both cranky, and sleep a lot. Besides, have you ever tried to even take care of either of them? Both have to practically be spoon-fed. Heck, some old men have people who watch over them, like a baby-sitter….!-
Claude: ( holds up his hands, defensively ) -Alright already, I get your point.
Chisato: Heed my information….
Claude: So anyway, if you really want a frog cap, why not just get one at the Tool Shop?
Chisato: At Arnon's? After the trouble I had with the warranty? I don't THINK so….
Claude: Is there any other choice? I mean, do you want that picture of Precis or not?
Chisato: … I suppose you're right. Besides, Precis seems kind of sad without one anyway; I'll be doing her a favor….
Claude: That's for sure.
Chisato: Say, weren't Rena and Noel also in here before I left for Ashton's? Where'd they go?
Claude: Well, Rena went for a stroll, most likely to burn some calories; she'd try anything at this point. When she returns, I'll take her to the restaurant myself…; I have no reason to be banned. As for Noel…who KNOWS where he went to.
Chisato: I see. … Take care! ( waves; leaves Claude's room )
**********
-1:26 PM - Central City Park-
**********
Rena is strolling around by herself....
Rena:
Mmmm… such a beautiful day it is. … Lots of animals around….Rena closes her eyes for a second.
Rena: It would have been embarrassing if I told Claude that I took this stroll just to burn some calories off of me….
Tortellini comes into view; notices Rena….
Tortellini: Oh-a, congr-a-tulation's, miss-a….
Rena: Hmmm? What for?
Tortellini: … Well, you're pregnant-a.
Rena: I am NOT!
Rena storms away from Tortellini.
Tortellini: ( to himself ) … Was it-a some-a-thing I said….?
**********
-2:03 PM - The Hyper-on-Hyper Tool Shop-
**********
Arnon can be seen waiting at his desk. Chisato enters the room.
Arnon:
Oh… it's you….Chisato: Look, now I know that we've had a shaky past…; and I KNOW that you won't give me an unlimited warranty….
Arnon: Of course….
Chisato: Yeah, well…; I was just wondering if you had any frog caps on sale….
Arnon: No. All out. They're a big fashion.
Chisato: ………. Okay….
Arnon: Now leave.
Chisato: Wait a minute, wait a minute! Could I at least get a rain check or something?
Arnon: Sorry, we don't DO rain checks….
Chisato: So I see…. Well, it was nice talking to you….
Arnon: Yes… it WAS…; not 'IS….'
Chisato: ….
**********
-2:43 PM - The Streets of Central City-
**********
Claude has found Rena, and both are on the way to the Weight Lawyer Restaurant....
Rena:
-Would you believe that that man made fun of me?Claude:
….Rena: He was really trying to call me fat, I bet! THIS is why it's important for me to eat right….!….
Claude: You know, Rena, ALL food is good food. The key is to think optimistically….
Rena: ….
Claude: It's crunchy, not stale...; covered in garlic, not mold...; it's sautéed, not decayed....
Rena: Alright, I think I get the point-
Claude: -It's culinary, not ordinary...; it's a Sloppy Joe, not Joey's slop....-
Rena: -Eh, Claude....-
Claude: -Made with butter, not crudder. It's toned, not boned....
Rena: Never mind that; we're here!
Claude: Oh, right.
Claude and Rena enter the restaurant. As soon as they enter, though, they're approached by the worker from earlier….
Worker: You again!?
Rena: Me?
Worker: The Proprietor told me to watch for you! ……………………. What? No animals this time?
Claude: ( winks at Rena ) ….
Rena: ( smiles ) No animals.
Worker: ………. Grrr. Alright, you two can come in!
Rena: Yay! This is great! Finally….!….
Claude and Rena enter the restaurant….
Rena: I hate these long waiting times! It makes me feel so blue….
Claude: Blue's not so bad…; it's the color of progression….
Rena: Huh….?
Claude: Where do you think all of the explorers head towards these days? Blue skies. Blue seas. Even while feeling blue, it IS a learning experience, is it not?
Rena: ….
Claude: Besides, The Blues turned out into a creative musical genre; who would turn down a good Blues song anyway?
Rena: Um… right….
**********
-4:04 PM - Claude's Brandywine Inn Room-
**********
Chisato, Claude, and Rena are conversing.
Chisato:
Would you believe that Arnon!? He was out of frog caps!Claude: So? It happens all the time….
Chisato: He wouldn't give me a rain check! What kind of a store doesn't accept rain checks, anyway?
Claude: First, he wouldn't grant you your warranty wish. NOW, he won't even accept a rain check. Boy, the situations that you get yourself into, Chisato….
Rena: Say, Chisato? You can take a picture of me now…; my belly isn't so large anymore….
Chisato: But Rena, I CAN'T now! I agreed to Tortellini that whoever I took a picture of would be wearing a frog cap! … I *NEED* to get a frog cap somehow… for Precis OR you….
Claude: Well, we could always just find another woman wearing one….
Chisato: Well, I guess so. Arnon DID say that this frog cap concept was a developing fashion, after all….
Claude: Sure! I'll even help…; Rena, do you want to come?
Rena: … I guess so.
Claude: Alright, then!
**********
-4:04 PM - Streets of Central City-
**********
Claude, Rena, and Chisato are wandering the streets, searching for a woman in a frog cap….
Claude:
… This walking is killing my shoes….Chisato: They might be defective….
Claude: Believe me, they are! They even have this squeaking sound whenever I walk….
Chisato: It must be the inside of the sole, then….
Claude: 'Squeaks,' they used to call me….
Rena: ….
Claude: Those shoes sounded like overused car tires….
Chisato: Erm….
Claude: Actually, if shoes are like tires, then all of Central City is like one BIG freeway…; us people are the cars….
Chisato: Claude????
Rena: ….
Claude: No, think about it - those cross sections, dissections, bisections, intersections…; it's baffling! And on TOP of that, the sides of the 'road' have all of these stops…; the Brandywine Hotel is like our garage…; the restaurant is like a gas station which REALLY fills you up-
Rena: -I'm all too familiar with THAT part-
Claude: And THEN there's those restrooms! Tucked away on the side of the street….
Rena: Strange analogy…; say, there's someone in a frog cap!
Chisato: No good - it's a man! I need a woman….!….
Claude: ….
Rena: Well, one's BOUND to show up in a cap sooner or later….
-Time Passes-
Chisato: STILL no woman in a cap!
Claude: It must be primarily a male fashion….
Chisato: Alright, next man we see, I'm robbing that cap off of him!
Rena: Chisato?
Chisato: Is there any other way?
Rena: ….
Chisato: Look! Here comes one!!!!
**********
-6:35 PM - Ashton's Brandywine Inn Room-
**********
Ashton, Precis, and Noel are conversing….
Ashton: You know, guys, these hats are kind of neat!
Gyoro and Ururun howl in agreement.
Noel: Yes, it raises my dieting moral. Represents my affinity for animals….
Precis: These froggy hats are cool…; I like 'em! I just wish I had mine back….
Ashton: Yes, especially the way they bring out my reptilian side….
Precis: … Huh? Come again?
Ashton: My reptilian side. Didn't you know? With three REPTILIAN heads, I can be like 'The Reptile Man' or something….
Precis: … Reptile????
Ashton: Sure, why not?
Precis: But REPTILES are so slimy and… eeew….
Ashton: Well, so are frogs….
Precis: … But THIS guy looked so cute…; I had no idea frogs could be so… so….-
Ashton: -Slimy?
Noel: Sticky?
Ashton: Slick?
Noel: Gookey?
Precis: ….
**********
-6:35 PM - Streets of Central City-
**********
Claude, Rena, and Chisato can be seen….
Claude: I can't believe that you didn't get it.
Chisato: Well, I guess I'm horrible at stealing. … Claude? Would you mind getting the next one off for me?
Claude: … Oh, alright! Hey, here comes one!!!!
Rena: Hey, that looks like the guy-
Chisato: Wait, Claude, no!!!! That's-
Claude: ( takes the frog cap ) A-HAH!!!!!!!!!!
Tortellini: Hey-a…; what do you-a think you're-a doing?
Chisato: Urgh, Claude! That's Tortellini!
Tortellini: And that's-a my frog cap-a!
Claude: Um, well… I can explain….
Rena: Claude, that's the man who made fun of my belly!
Claude: Oh, IS he????
Tortellini: I-a don't know what you're-a talking about….!
Claude: Is it true? You thought that she was so fat, she looked pregnant?
Tortellini: I had-a no idea. But-a YOU should be ashamed of-a yourself! Trying to steal-a my cap-a….
Chisato: ….
Tortellini: So-a, 'Claude,' … I'm-a gonna keep my eye-a on you….
Tortellini leaves….
Chisato: Great! What if he won't accept my picture now???? What will I do then!?
Claude: This is all because of Rena's stomach. Things might have been settled if not for that earlier encounter with Rena and Tortellini….
Chisato: See???? EVERYTHING always works AGAINST me!!!!
Rena: Should we be heading back?
Chisato: NO!!!! There's still a chance that he might accept! We just need to get a frog cap… even if it takes all night! I'm DESPERATE!!!!
Rena: … Alright……….
**********
-10:27 PM - Brandywine Tavern-
**********
Ashton, Precis, and Noel are seated. Claude, Rena, and Chisato enter the room… Chisato, with a crazed look on her face, has finally obtained an extra frog cap….
Chisato: Hehehehe…. F~I~N~A~L~L~Y!!!! Heee… heee!!!! Now, all's I need is a PICTURE!!!! Hehehe….!!!!
All: ….
Chisato: Let's see…? Precis?
Precis: Hmmm?
Chisato: Would you mind…; you know, putting this on?
Precis: … You know… on SECOND thought-
Chisato: WHAT??????????
Precis: -This frog cap fashion is not all that GOOD……….
Chisato: You're not going to wear it, then?
Precis: No need. Frogs are slimy and… eeew. Besides, I realized that I can show just as much spirit WITHOUT a cap….
Chisato: Well, then……….; Rena????
Rena: What's the use? I've just about gave up on this dieting idea…. No hat no longer. Besides, just as Precis said; they're slimy, filthy creatures after all. I'd probably look ugly in one….
Chisato: Great! You're all screwing me again!!!!
All: ….
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***** End Tag *****
-10:11 AM - The next day, at Claude's Brandywine Inn Room-
***** End Tag *****
Claude, Rena, and Chisato are conversing….
Chisato:
So much for my camera/warranty plan….Claude: ….
"KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK"
Rena: Who could that be?
Claude opens the door, only to spot Tortellini!
All: Tortellini!!!!????
Tortellini: You-a! I lost my job-a because of-a you!
Claude: Me?
Tortellini: That's right-a. The govern-a-ment-a heard of-a the cap stealings…; they suspected me-a because I was the only one-a with one on….
Chisato: ….
Tortellini: Because they-a looked into my activities-a, they found out about-a my under-a-cover camera trafficking-a plan!
Rena: Well, it serves you right! You probably DID steal that cap from somebody….
Tortellini: Now-a, it matters not-a! … I'm-a gonna keep-a my eye-a on you, Claude…; I'm-a gonna keep my eye-a on you….
Tortellini leaves the room….
All: ….
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*All phone numbers are fictional. Any resemblance to real-life numbers are entirely coincidental.
**********
-Credits - Additional Characters-
**********
Worker....................................................................................................... Dickson Wells
Official.......................................................................................................... Stimpson Jay