A Gallery of Myself - By Phil Jones

Zoe - Thoughts

A blank page... turn to the next one... but it is blank also... and would you keep turning the pages? Expecting something to be on one??? Yet you look through a 500 page book of blank pages. And feel satisfied when you are done and have checked every blank page making sure you haven�t missed a word. And what was the point of this? Fulfillment? Are you now fulfilled? Checking for the unseen, you have missed the entire book by looking for the words when you should have been looking for yourself... you are blind and you will never find yourself not even if you read the book 100 times over. You will always miss the words... Look into the mirror but it reflects no face. It is empty, but filled with a blackness that no one else can see. But me. A pool of pain... my face is lost. My mind is shown; I�m opened up to you. My body loaned. Every bone of white, ever stream of blood, every word I�ve thought every thing I�ve seen, everything I�ve ever been. Belonging to you, the mirror in me reflects your face. You are lost in grace. Take my place. Belonging to me, in you I may be...

forget me not:::
I have mixed emotions about everything right now! I feel like someone�s shot me... but I�m stuck in the perpetual moment before I die... I feel like an A-bomb went off in my head. Like the trees have lost their leaves forever. Like the once beautiful flag now tattered frayed and faded will be thrown away, forgotten and replaced. Like the sun will never rise again, and for me this is the last day I will see the light, and after that it will be continues night. Or once the bird feeder is empty, the birds will disappear and never come back. I am the wine bottle... That is empty now in the garbage. With out realizing it I�ve been thrown there like every other bottle. Even though you try to hold onto some memory of it, you fail. You can�t even remember the taste of the wine, the smell of the wine or even its name... a tasteless smelless nameless wine... why do you even bother? I am the thin socks to many times worn. To thin to keep warm, so thin they�re about to brake. So thin they�re almost useless to wear. So now they sit on the floor, forgotten underneath piles of dirty clothes. Where they belong? The flower that was once pretty in your house, in your presence for a week. That you now find ugly and old. Yet you are the one who cut it from its beauty. All the good things in life you waste... The fly on the window I crushed. I did it a favour. Think of the rest of its life! How many flies do you think die naturally? Now compare that to how many get killed, yea that�s right. What about that blanket you loved when you were a kid? Where is it now? Did you forget about it? Until now? This moment of memory is brief, for once you have already read this, you will still forget it! I was a candle you burned during the day. And by the time you needed it, it was burnt out. Yet whose fault? I am the sky that changes everyday. I am every cloud, every storm every rainbow and every star. But have you noticed any of these before? Ever compared clouds to things? Ever watched a thunderstorm? Ever looked for a rainbow? Ever counted stars or looked for consolations? I�m the remote you broke, causing you to get up to watch TV. I was the breakfast you ate, but forgotten about by lunch time. I was the bow on that present you unwrapped, yes the bow you threw away. I am all around you all the time. Yet you do not see me or feel me or hear me or sense me. I am just around but never there. I am the toothbrush you used last week. The picture in your head you can�t quite see. The glass of water � full or � empty? I am the broken lamp that sits in your living room or the smell of flowers wherever you go. I am as different as I am the same, no one can see it but I am in so much blinding pain... no one sees the best things about me. And I�m tired of wearing layers of make up pretending I�m something I�m not, tired of this disguise and people say look at everything she�s got. Forget me not...

Are you alone???
Loneliness... the universe is so big and lonely; we are the only known existing things inside this black hole and we arte constantly surrounded by each other, yet we are all so lonely... think about how close we really are to each other. Imagine we were separated and spread out over the entire galaxy. Then how lonely would you be? Step out your front door, and you can probably see another house with other lonely people inside... go to work or school and there will be someone there who would care. How lonely are you for real? You�re constantly surrounded by familiar faces and people who talk to you everyday. What about that special person who smiles at you as you walk by? Are you really that lonely? Surrounded by these friends, these billions of people you walk amongst... think about who you talked to today... do they count for nothing... are you alone? I�m not, I�m surrounded by people everywhere, each way I turn... sometimes it�s hard to get away... sometimes maybe I wish I could live on Pluto. Away from everyone. But then I would be lonely, but maybe I would find someone special to drag off to be miserably happy with me. Some one to share a smile with, to laugh with and cry with, some one to die beside. Till I wasted away to nothing, in someone�s arms, is this a cry for help? Am I sinking? Into my own sadness, my pity? Maybe someday I�ll find someone to take to my place... alone. But together, content and free...

more giberish:::
I am the chalkboard, erased but not washed. White residue still words visible, but unseen and written over. The black hair dye you bought last week that has faded to a dull dark brown. The water that rolls off your umbrella into the mud, soaked up by the ground... the lady on the side walk that gets laughed because she�s a whore. The laundry not yet washed... on the floor. The black eyeliner that surrounds your eyes. The make up you always wear, your disguise. I am the black dress you wear on your birthday. The black nail polish that chips off your nails, the hole in your heart that lets everything in. The cuts on your arms, the cut on your skin. The clock on the wall that�s off by 10 minutes. The dirty hall that is empty at this moment. I am the gun shot that rings in your ears when you pulled the trigger. The pain you can�t feel it�s so strong, that split second before you�re gone. That long frozen moment where you feel nothing. That blinding light when you close your eyes. That moment you get stuck in and every second lasts an hour. That very smell of gun shot powder. I�m that night you can�t remember. Or the person you haven�t seen or met. I�m that chore you haven�t done just yet. I�m the shoes you look at in a store, you try them on but then ignore. I�m the bracelet you lost somewhere in your room. I�m every forgotten nightmare or dream... I�m every phone number you�ve called and hung up on. I�m that look in someone�s eyes before they cry, I�m the pleading and whining before you die. I�m the pants you ripped so you threw them out. The mirror you broke, and the problems you cry about. I�m the camera always out of focus, the thoughts that run thorough your head with out knowing. I�m your subconscious that�s showing. I�m that $20 bill you burned, I�m that lesson you should of learned. The penny you found on the floor, I�m everyone you�ve called a whore! I�m the mosquito that makes you itch. I�m the diseases that make you twitch. I�m that thing you�ve always wanted but could never find, I�m that stupid thing that�s always on your mind. I am the fresh morning air you wake up to everyday. I am the bed covers your leaving behind, the clothes you choose not to wear that day. And that one sock you can�t find. I am the water that goes down the drain. The drugs you take to forget the pain. I am every mistake you�ve ever made. I am the only tree in the forest with no leaves. The house on your street no on lives in. the toy your mom threw out cuz she thought you�d grown out of it. I�m the last Oreo in the box, the shortest straw you pulled form three. The shoe with no lace, the dog you see in those sad shows on TV. I am your favourite jeans until you get a new pair. The lawn you cut a month ago, now covered in leaves. The river that�s now dry. A bird with broken wings. The watch in your desk that displays the time 2:01 every hour of the day. The scissors that cut your hair. The soap that washes you clean, the wind that burns your face, and the battery acid that burns in your legs... I am the fire that destroys everything you own, and the shower that washes away all the pain. I am the 20 year old teddy bear with one eye, downstairs. I am the pen with no ink, and the car with no gas. I am everything that can brake like glass. I�m a hallucination, you imagine I�m there. I�m everything you don�t care about and everything you would never share. I am the broken belt now rendered useless. The missing shingle on your roof making you wet when it rains. I am the broken chair no good for sitting on. I am the tile that doesn�t fit in the floor. I am the knob that doesn�t fit in the door. I am the prisoner of every cage. Every single word that doesn�t belong on any page. I am a disappearing magic trick that no one can figure out. I�m the radio you turn on but leave the room. I am the stereo you blast when you listen to a tune... What�s the point ho you leave the room...

My Friends:::
I feel so incredibly happy today.
Everything is wonderful this way.
Time is perfect.
Everything is worth it.
Crying because I�m so happy I�m with you.
Feelings all gone sappy, I simply love you.
Love you all, you�re all so great.
Only love and never hate.
The sunshine�s and the wind blows
Walk down the beach sand in my toes.
I smile and laugh with all my friends.
Until the sunlight soon descends.
We light a fire to replace the sun.
We party on and have so much fun.
Freeze-frame this time stay here forever.
All our friends always together,
Never want us to split apart.
Separation of my heart.
When we do, I will miss you all.
Then someday I will suddenly call.
And will party until we sleep.
Peacefully the night we keep.
Pass out around the fire.
From our parties we will never tier.
Safe with my friends. They are so near.
All of them to me are so dear.
But this party is the best of all.
We are together and have a ball.
We all tell stories of things we did.
Together we shared the secrets hid.
We exposed ourselves, opened the lid.
The things I did when I was just a kid...
We talk until we are in a dream.
Where friendship is the only theme.
I love you all, you are my friends!
And with you all I�ve shared the trends.
Loved, laughed, smiled and cried.
All of you have always tired.
You are there for me as I am there for you.
Sick together stronger than any glue.
Please when the time comes, do not go.
Do not pass by and let me go.
At least tell me we are Friends.
And forever and ever to let it show...
Good-bye dear friends it�s time to leave.
Take a sigh, a heavy heave.
I love you all, remember me.
I�ll catch your fall, you can lean on me.
Good-bye again. Wait for my call.
Good-bye again, I love you all...

UNFAITHFUL:::
Unfaithfully. You broke my heart.
Unfaithfully. You tore it apart.
You Destroy Me.
Constantly.
Pull me apart.
Ripping my heart.
Making me cry.
So much that I just want to die.
You Destroy Me.
Constantly.
I fuckin hate you.
I hope you die.
A painful tortured silent cry.
You�re So Unfaithful.
You Destroy Me.
Constantly.
I Hate You.
~Constantly.
I Hate You.~
Vulgarly displayed.
Foul taste that stayed.
Feelings slowly washed,
Thin and thrown away.
Broken And Frayed.
Unfaithful
I Hate You.
~Constantly~
You Destroy Me.
~Constantly~
You�re So Unfaithfully.
Worn out body you danced about.
Shattered glass, windows punched out.
My heart shaped box has collapsed.
Crushed beneath it air I gasped.
Painful glow, tortured and broken slow.
Smashed by your curse,
Shit can�t get much worse!
You�re So Unfaithful.
You Destroy Me.
Constantly.
I Hate You.
~Constantly.
I Hate You.~
Tattered but torn my body reborn.
Make the incision above my breast.
Cut threw the bones, threw my chest.
Straight to my heart, no pain it�s so sharp.
Fuck the rest; you�re no guest,
It�s so simple it�s just a test.
Unfaithful
I Hate You.
~Constantly~
You Destroy Me.
~Constantly~
You�re So Unfaithfully.
Pass the poison though my blood.
Eaten by the acid in this green mud.
Cut right threw my gut.
Squinting form the pain,
My eyes I quickly shut.
The pain I feel it burn,
Slowly life, you will loose your turn.
You�re So Unfaithful.
You Destroy Me.
Constantly.
I Hate You.
~Constantly.
I Hate You.~
Fucked over, fucked up, I�ve failed.
Fucked over, fucked up, was nailed.
Fuck!!! Lost out on luck.

Life=death:::
Slipping it over my head, I�m such a wreak.
Driving me to tie a noose around my own neck
Pushing me so hard, now it�s so tight.
Looking up but all I can see is the night.
My bodies shaking but I feel so light,
But my head weighs me down like a brick.
Butterflies in my stomach, I feel so sick.
I look up again, the sky is so clear.
And down my cheek runs a single tear.
Will I jump now?
I can�t, because of my own fear.
Whispering inside my head.
I can hear them so clear.
Telling me inside my head.
Wishing I were dead.
But my body wont move,
It�s as heavy as lead.
I�m getting fainter as the minutes pass.
Hallucinating now,
Like I�m looking through foggy glass.
The noose I tied is much to tight.
It�s getting blurry now I�m loosing sight.
I guess I don�t need to jump for I will fall.
On the ground now as I try to crawl.
But I cant because I am not that tall.
I can�t reach the floor I�m just too small.
I�m choking trying to catch my breath.
But I cant I�ve sent my self my death.
Cant breath I�m out of breath.
Life=death

Rain Dance::: Lightning cracks and the sky turns gray.
Inside my head feels the exact same way.
Rain falls and the clouds move fast.
The crack of a whip stings and lasts.
Pink and white light that flashes all around.
Bolts of lightening scratch at the ground.
Ringing in my ears is the same pounding sound.
My world crashed fast and I am lost, not to be found.
My life is a song, only one time to be sang.
And when I�m done; in your ears the words, they rang.
Gray sky fades, as do my eyes, both turned to black. Won�t come back but no surprise.
The color has drained from my once pretty face
The scares stay in the exact same old place.
Loud rumbling that shakes inside.
Makes me want to run, but there�s nowhere to hide
It comes from me... the me inside.
The me that once was pretty, now I have no pride.
Threw life I slip and slide, I glide.
Now to solid to glitter.
The sunsets and I sleep. Deep. What hit her?
Crack of lightning wakes me up.
Water shakes beside me in the cup.
Holes in my roof, the rain seeps in.
Soaking everything and threw my skin.
Being eaten by the hungry, no screens to keep out the bugs.
Head�s filled with so many dirt filled rugs.
Soaking up the tragedy. Everything ends in me.
And one more lighting blast, filled with harsh white light but doesn�t last.
Poor tortured soul, little girl always frozen and cold.
Because of the blood that runs threw her heart.
Passed though the freezer of love, her worst part.
Cut her and she will not bleed, only icicles you will see.
Tears she cries freeze on her face.
Take me away from this horrible place.
Another flash of the blinding light.
Pushed into a corner, loosing the fight.
Shaking, this is the darkest night.
No one to see this horrible sight.
The rain continues it�s constant pounding sounds.
Inside her head she slowly drowns.
Her eyes bleed and she frowns.
Flash light batteries won�t work. They�ve burnt out.
The water pours like it falls from a spout.
Painful sounds of the storm, they hurt.
Every crack it burns her eyes.
Water soaked threw her shirt.
All alone she cries.
No light, life�s run out. Powers down lights are out.
No one to hear her calling out, rain pounds to hard, it drowns her shout.
Lightning cracks and the sky turns gray.
Inside her head feels the exact same way.
Everything is gray,
All she can now do is pray...

F |2 @ U D:::
Surrounded by these countless frauds.
Walking amongst us they think they�re gods.
Tell me what the difference is.
Kings and Queens and Princesses.
They all think they are on the top.
Think they are above us, but they are not.
And one day I will show them all.
And when I do they will fall.
On the ground before my feet.
The ground I walk on they will eat.
They will be so incredibly low.
Struck down by the mighty blow.
They will cry before me there.
As I gaze at them and stair.
Look at how their misery pours.
Now that they are the peoples whores.
Look at how they hate themselves.
Sending them self through their own hells.
But the truth remains; they are not above us all.
One day thought they might stand tall.
But for now they are happy gods.
Truly heartless gaudy frauds.

If you�re so genuine, why do I feel like I keep getting played?
If you�re so genuine, why do you keep getting paid?
If you�re so genuine, why wont you be mine?
If you�re so genuine, why do I feel like I�m wasting my time?
If you were to be mine, would you be a genuine a Gemini?
You�re not real, you�re not for me, and you�re not really here for me...
You�re playing my friend,
And me but by the time I will see,
It will be to late,
I�ll be hurt and lock myself back up, to full of hate...
I cant take this, cast you�re vote.
If you can�t figure it out, you�ll stop playing me I hope...
Then you can have her, but I�ll be free.
Can�t take this!!! These changes!
Can�t stand the games and mazes!
Can�t stand your disguise.
Can�t stand not winning the prize.
Wanna control everything I can. Wanna be me but hold a hand.
Want to have you, but I can�t... wanna have you to help me stand.
But don�t get me wrong, I�m being played, I can see it and I stayed...
Maybe I�m just sticking around to see how far you would go.
See how far my heart you would throw.
See how far you would dig into my heart. See how much you would pry it apart.
But this pain... You won�t stop but I have, tried to be silent but I cant.
If you�re so genuine, why do you hurt?
If you�re so genuine, why do you have to be such a flirt?
If you�re so genuine, why do you flaunt so much?
If you�re so genuine, why are you in such a rush?
Can�t take this!!! These changes!
Can�t stand the games and mazes!
Can�t stand your disguise.
Can�t stand not winning the prize.
Look to you, you were my god.
But you aren�t now, it feels so odd.
Life is crashing to the ground, and it�s your fault,
Kissed me with your eyes, but you taste like salt!
Held out you�re hand, but you withdrew.
Staying put is something you just cant do.
Can�t stand the people pushin� me down.
The closest people to my heart make me frown.
Close the door please, turn out the light.
On the floor please get out of my sight.
I�ve got my own shit but I keep it all inside.
Got my own problems that I gotta hide.
Why you robbing me? My life�s my deal
Why you stopping me? Got nothing left for you to steal.
Nothing I got that�s worth your time,
Nothing I got could keep you waiting in line.
Don�t understand why you�re stinking around.
Trying to make me smile but all I can do is frown.
Can�t take the pressure and the people pushin� me down!
Closest people to my heart make me out to be a clown.
Got nothing left, I�ve been strip-searched, beach soaked.
Got nothing left, I�ve been thrown in a ditch, gag-choked.
Feel like a whore just standing here.
See threw my clothes you�re so near.
On the corner as people walk by.
...Being raped... I heard a girl cry.
And I feel so incredibly low.
Walk down an ally, some bum takes another shot of his blow.
But I�m not there; I�m in my room.
But I�m not there either, I�m in my head.
Useless body on the bed.
You didn�t close the door, or turn out the light.
Still standing there plain in my sight.

All content on this site �2002 Zoe

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	A blank page... turn to the next one... but it is blank also... and would you keep turning the pages? Expecting something to be on one??? Yet you look through a 500 page book of blank pages. And feel satisfied when you are done and have checked every blank page making sure you haven�t missed a word. And what was the point of this? Fulfillment? Are you now fulfilled? Checking for the unseen, you have missed the entire book by looking for the words when you should have been looking for yourself... you are blind and you will never find yourself not even if you read the book 100 times over. You will always miss the words... Look into the mirror but it reflects no face. It is empty, but filled with a blackness that no one else can see. But me. A pool of pain... my face is lost. My mind is shown; I�m opened up to you. My body loaned. Every bone of white, ever stream of blood, every word I�ve thought every thing I�ve seen, everything I�ve ever been. Belonging to you, the mirror in me reflects your face. You are lost in grace. Take my place. Belonging to me, in you I may be...


	forget me not::: I have mixed emotions about everything right now! I feel like someone�s shot me... but I�m stuck in the perpetual moment before I die... I feel like an A-bomb went off in my head. Like the trees have lost their leaves forever. Like the once beautiful flag now tattered frayed and faded will be thrown away, forgotten and replaced. Like the sun will never rise again, and for me this is the last day I will see the light, and after that it will be continues night. Or once the bird feeder is empty, the birds will disappear and never come back. I am the wine bottle... That is empty now in the garbage. With out realizing it I�ve been thrown there like every other bottle. Even though you try to hold onto some memory of it, you fail. You can�t even remember the taste of the wine, the smell of the wine or even its name... a tasteless smelless nameless wine... why do you even bother? I am the thin socks to many times worn. To thin to keep warm, so thin they�re about to brake. So thin they�re almost useless to wear. So now they sit on the floor, forgotten underneath piles of dirty clothes. Where they belong? The flower that was once pretty in your house, in your presence for a week. That you now find ugly and old. Yet you are the one who cut it from its beauty. All the good things in life you waste... The fly on the window I crushed. I did it a favour. Think of the rest of its life! How many flies do you think die naturally? Now compare that to how many get killed, yea that�s right. What about that blanket you loved when you were a kid? Where is it now? Did you forget about it? Until now? This moment of memory is brief, for once you have already read this, you will still forget it! I was a candle you burned during the day. And by the time you needed it, it was burnt out. Yet whose fault? I am the sky that changes everyday. I am every cloud, every storm every rainbow and every star. But have you noticed any of these before? Ever compared clouds to things? Ever watched a thunderstorm? Ever looked for a rainbow? Ever counted stars or looked for consolations? I�m the remote you broke, causing you to get up to watch TV. I was the breakfast you ate, but forgotten about by lunch time. I was the bow on that present you unwrapped, yes the bow you threw away. I am all around you all the time. Yet you do not see me or feel me or hear me or sense me. I am just around but never there. I am the toothbrush you used last week. The picture in your head you can�t quite see. The glass of water � full or � empty? I am the broken lamp that sits in your living room or the smell of flowers wherever you go. I am as different as I am the same, no one can see it but I am in so much blinding pain... no one sees the best things about me. And I�m tired of wearing layers of make up pretending I�m something I�m not, tired of this disguise and people say look at everything she�s got. Forget me not...


	Are you alone??? Loneliness... the universe is so big and lonely; we are the only known existing things inside this black hole and we arte constantly surrounded by each other, yet we are all so lonely... think about how close we really are to each other. Imagine we were separated and spread out over the entire galaxy. Then how lonely would you be? Step out your front door, and you can probably see another house with other lonely people inside... go to work or school and there will be someone there who would care. How lonely are you for real? You�re constantly surrounded by familiar faces and people who talk to you everyday. What about that special person who smiles at you as you walk by? Are you really that lonely? Surrounded by these friends, these billions of people you walk amongst... think about who you talked to today... do they count for nothing... are you alone? I�m not, I�m surrounded by people everywhere, each way I turn... sometimes it�s hard to get away... sometimes maybe I wish I could live on Pluto. Away from everyone. But then I would be lonely, but maybe I would find someone special to drag off to be miserably happy with me. Some one to share a smile with, to laugh with and cry with, some one to die beside. Till I wasted away to nothing, in someone�s arms, is this a cry for help? Am I sinking? Into my own sadness, my pity? Maybe someday I�ll find someone to take to my place... alone. But together, content and free...


	more giberish::: I am the chalkboard, erased but not washed. White residue still words visible, but unseen and written over. The black hair dye you bought last week that has faded to a dull dark brown. The water that rolls off your umbrella into the mud, soaked up by the ground... the lady on the side walk that gets laughed because she�s a whore. The laundry not yet washed... on the floor. The black eyeliner that surrounds your eyes. The make up you always wear, your disguise. I am the black dress you wear on your birthday. The black nail polish that chips off your nails, the hole in your heart that lets everything in. The cuts on your arms, the cut on your skin. The clock on the wall that�s off by 10 minutes. The dirty hall that is empty at this moment. I am the gun shot that rings in your ears when you pulled the trigger. The pain you can�t feel it�s so strong, that split second before you�re gone. That long frozen moment where you feel nothing. That blinding light when you close your eyes. That moment you get stuck in and every second lasts an hour. That very smell of gun shot powder. I�m that night you can�t remember. Or the person you haven�t seen or met. I�m that chore you haven�t done just yet. I�m the shoes you look at in a store, you try them on but then ignore. I�m the bracelet you lost somewhere in your room. I�m every forgotten nightmare or dream... I�m every phone number you�ve called and hung up on. I�m that look in someone�s eyes before they cry, I�m the pleading and whining before you die. I�m the pants you ripped so you threw them out. The mirror you broke, and the problems you cry about. I�m the camera always out of focus, the thoughts that run thorough your head with out knowing. I�m your subconscious that�s showing. I�m that $20 bill you burned, I�m that lesson you should of learned. The penny you found on the floor, I�m everyone you�ve called a whore! I�m the mosquito that makes you itch. I�m the diseases that make you twitch. I�m that thing you�ve always wanted but could never find, I�m that stupid thing that�s always on your mind. I am the fresh morning air you wake up to everyday. I am the bed covers your leaving behind, the clothes you choose not to wear that day. And that one sock you can�t find. I am the water that goes down the drain. The drugs you take to forget the pain. I am every mistake you�ve ever made. I am the only tree in the forest with no leaves. The house on your street no on lives in. the toy your mom threw out cuz she thought you�d grown out of it. I�m the last Oreo in the box, the shortest straw you pulled form three. The shoe with no lace, the dog you see in those sad shows on TV. I am your favourite jeans until you get a new pair. The lawn you cut a month ago, now covered in leaves. The river that�s now dry. A bird with broken wings. The watch in your desk that displays the time 2:01 every hour of the day. The scissors that cut your hair. The soap that washes you clean, the wind that burns your face, and the battery acid that burns in your legs... I am the fire that destroys everything you own, and the shower that washes away all the pain. I am the 20 year old teddy bear with one eye, downstairs. I am the pen with no ink, and the car with no gas. I am everything that can brake like glass. I�m a hallucination, you imagine I�m there. I�m everything you don�t care about and everything you would never share. I am the broken belt now rendered useless. The missing shingle on your roof making you wet when it rains. I am the broken chair no good for sitting on. I am the tile that doesn�t fit in the floor. I am the knob that doesn�t fit in the door. I am the prisoner of every cage. Every single word that doesn�t belong on any page. I am a disappearing magic trick that no one can figure out. I�m the radio you turn on but leave the room. I am the stereo you blast when you listen to a tune... What�s the point ho you leave the room...


	My Friends::: I feel so incredibly happy today. Everything is wonderful this way. Time is perfect. Everything is worth it. Crying because I�m so happy I�m with you. Feelings all gone sappy, I simply love you. Love you all, you�re all so great. Only love and never hate. The sunshine�s and the wind blows Walk down the beach sand in my toes. I smile and laugh with all my friends. Until the sunlight soon descends. We light a fire to replace the sun. We party on and have so much fun. Freeze-frame this time stay here forever. All our friends always together, Never want us to split apart. Separation of my heart. When we do, I will miss you all. Then someday I will suddenly call. And will party until we sleep. Peacefully the night we keep. Pass out around the fire. From our parties we will never tier. Safe with my friends. They are so near. All of them to me are so dear. But this party is the best of all. We are together and have a ball. We all tell stories of things we did. Together we shared the secrets hid. We exposed ourselves, opened the lid. The things I did when I was just a kid... We talk until we are in a dream. Where friendship is the only theme. I love you all, you are my friends! And with you all I�ve shared the trends. Loved, laughed, smiled and cried. All of you have always tired. You are there for me as I am there for you. Sick together stronger than any glue. Please when the time comes, do not go. Do not pass by and let me go. At least tell me we are Friends. And forever and ever to let it show... Good-bye dear friends it�s time to leave. Take a sigh, a heavy heave. I love you all, remember me. I�ll catch your fall, you can lean on me. Good-bye again. Wait for my call. Good-bye again, I love you all...


	UNFAITHFUL::: Unfaithfully. You broke my heart. Unfaithfully. You tore it apart. You Destroy Me. Constantly. Pull me apart. Ripping my heart. Making me cry. So much that I just want to die. You Destroy Me. Constantly. I fuckin hate you. I hope you die. A painful tortured silent cry. You�re So Unfaithful. You Destroy Me. Constantly. I Hate You. ~Constantly. I Hate You.~ Vulgarly displayed. Foul taste that stayed. Feelings slowly washed, Thin and thrown away. Broken And Frayed. Unfaithful I Hate You. ~Constantly~ You Destroy Me. ~Constantly~ You�re So Unfaithfully. Worn out body you danced about. Shattered glass, windows punched out. My heart shaped box has collapsed. Crushed beneath it air I gasped. Painful glow, tortured and broken slow. Smashed by your curse, Shit can�t get much worse! You�re So Unfaithful. You Destroy Me. Constantly. I Hate You. ~Constantly. I Hate You.~ Tattered but torn my body reborn. Make the incision above my breast. Cut threw the bones, threw my chest. Straight to my heart, no pain it�s so sharp. Fuck the rest; you�re no guest, It�s so simple it�s just a test. Unfaithful I Hate You. ~Constantly~ You Destroy Me. ~Constantly~ You�re So Unfaithfully. Pass the poison though my blood. Eaten by the acid in this green mud. Cut right threw my gut. Squinting form the pain, My eyes I quickly shut. The pain I feel it burn, Slowly life, you will loose your turn. You�re So Unfaithful. You Destroy Me. Constantly. I Hate You. ~Constantly. I Hate You.~ Fucked over, fucked up, I�ve failed. Fucked over, fucked up, was nailed. Fuck!!! Lost out on luck.


	Life=death::: Slipping it over my head, I�m such a wreak. Driving me to tie a noose around my own neck Pushing me so hard, now it�s so tight. Looking up but all I can see is the night. My bodies shaking but I feel so light, But my head weighs me down like a brick. Butterflies in my stomach, I feel so sick. I look up again, the sky is so clear. And down my cheek runs a single tear. Will I jump now? I can�t, because of my own fear. Whispering inside my head. I can hear them so clear. Telling me inside my head. Wishing I were dead. But my body wont move, It�s as heavy as lead. I�m getting fainter as the minutes pass. Hallucinating now, Like I�m looking through foggy glass. The noose I tied is much to tight. It�s getting blurry now I�m loosing sight. I guess I don�t need to jump for I will fall. On the ground now as I try to crawl. But I cant because I am not that tall. I can�t reach the floor I�m just too small. I�m choking trying to catch my breath. But I cant I�ve sent my self my death. Cant breath I�m out of breath. Life=death


	Rain Dance::: Lightning cracks and the sky turns gray. Inside my head feels the exact same way. Rain falls and the clouds move fast. The crack of a whip stings and lasts. Pink and white light that flashes all around. Bolts of lightening scratch at the ground. Ringing in my ears is the same pounding sound. My world crashed fast and I am lost, not to be found. My life is a song, only one time to be sang. And when I�m done; in your ears the words, they rang. Gray sky fades, as do my eyes, both turned to black. Won�t come back but no surprise. The color has drained from my once pretty face The scares stay in the exact same old place. Loud rumbling that shakes inside. Makes me want to run, but there�s nowhere to hide It comes from me... the me inside. The me that once was pretty, now I have no pride. Threw life I slip and slide, I glide. Now to solid to glitter. The sunsets and I sleep. Deep. What hit her? Crack of lightning wakes me up. Water shakes beside me in the cup. Holes in my roof, the rain seeps in. Soaking everything and threw my skin. Being eaten by the hungry, no screens to keep out the bugs. Head�s filled with so many dirt filled rugs. Soaking up the tragedy. Everything ends in me. And one more lighting blast, filled with harsh white light but doesn�t last. Poor tortured soul, little girl always frozen and cold. Because of the blood that runs threw her heart. Passed though the freezer of love, her worst part. Cut her and she will not bleed, only icicles you will see. Tears she cries freeze on her face. Take me away from this horrible place. Another flash of the blinding light. Pushed into a corner, loosing the fight. Shaking, this is the darkest night. No one to see this horrible sight. The rain continues it�s constant pounding sounds. Inside her head she slowly drowns. Her eyes bleed and she frowns. Flash light batteries won�t work. They�ve burnt out. The water pours like it falls from a spout. Painful sounds of the storm, they hurt. Every crack it burns her eyes. Water soaked threw her shirt. All alone she cries. No light, life�s run out. Powers down lights are out. No one to hear her calling out, rain pounds to hard, it drowns her shout. Lightning cracks and the sky turns gray. Inside her head feels the exact same way. Everything is gray, All she can now do is pray...


	F \|2 @ U D::: Surrounded by these countless frauds. Walking amongst us they think they�re gods. Tell me what the difference is. Kings and Queens and Princesses. They all think they are on the top. Think they are above us, but they are not. And one day I will show them all. And when I do they will fall. On the ground before my feet. The ground I walk on they will eat. They will be so incredibly low. Struck down by the mighty blow. They will cry before me there. As I gaze at them and stair. Look at how their misery pours. Now that they are the peoples whores. Look at how they hate themselves. Sending them self through their own hells. But the truth remains; they are not above us all. One day thought they might stand tall. But for now they are happy gods. Truly heartless gaudy frauds.


	If you�re so genuine, why do I feel like I keep getting played? If you�re so genuine, why do you keep getting paid? If you�re so genuine, why wont you be mine? If you�re so genuine, why do I feel like I�m wasting my time? If you were to be mine, would you be a genuine a Gemini? You�re not real, you�re not for me, and you�re not really here for me... You�re playing my friend, And me but by the time I will see, It will be to late, I�ll be hurt and lock myself back up, to full of hate... I cant take this, cast you�re vote. If you can�t figure it out, you�ll stop playing me I hope... Then you can have her, but I�ll be free. Can�t take this!!! These changes! Can�t stand the games and mazes! Can�t stand your disguise. Can�t stand not winning the prize. Wanna control everything I can. Wanna be me but hold a hand. Want to have you, but I can�t... wanna have you to help me stand. But don�t get me wrong, I�m being played, I can see it and I stayed... Maybe I�m just sticking around to see how far you would go. See how far my heart you would throw. See how far you would dig into my heart. See how much you would pry it apart. But this pain... You won�t stop but I have, tried to be silent but I cant. If you�re so genuine, why do you hurt? If you�re so genuine, why do you have to be such a flirt? If you�re so genuine, why do you flaunt so much? If you�re so genuine, why are you in such a rush? Can�t take this!!! These changes! Can�t stand the games and mazes! Can�t stand your disguise. Can�t stand not winning the prize. Look to you, you were my god. But you aren�t now, it feels so odd. Life is crashing to the ground, and it�s your fault, Kissed me with your eyes, but you taste like salt! Held out you�re hand, but you withdrew. Staying put is something you just cant do. Can�t stand the people pushin� me down. The closest people to my heart make me frown. Close the door please, turn out the light. On the floor please get out of my sight. I�ve got my own shit but I keep it all inside. Got my own problems that I gotta hide. Why you robbing me? My life�s my deal Why you stopping me? Got nothing left for you to steal. Nothing I got that�s worth your time, Nothing I got could keep you waiting in line. Don�t understand why you�re stinking around. Trying to make me smile but all I can do is frown. Can�t take the pressure and the people pushin� me down! Closest people to my heart make me out to be a clown. Got nothing left, I�ve been strip-searched, beach soaked. Got nothing left, I�ve been thrown in a ditch, gag-choked. Feel like a whore just standing here. See threw my clothes you�re so near. On the corner as people walk by. ...Being raped... I heard a girl cry. And I feel so incredibly low. Walk down an ally, some bum takes another shot of his blow. But I�m not there; I�m in my room. But I�m not there either, I�m in my head. Useless body on the bed. You didn�t close the door, or turn out the light. Still standing there plain in my sight.