| "Critical Issues: Gay & Lesbian Youth" 05.01.2000 page 3 |
| Achieving a personal identity is one of the major goals faced by adolescent youths (Fernandez, 1995, 27). Coming out is defined as �the developmental process through which gay people recognize their sexual preferences and choose to integrate this knowledge into their personal and social lives� (Zera, 1992, 851). For gay and lesbian adolescents coming out becomes a central challenge in their search for personal identity because their sexual orientation runs counter to the dominant cultural values (Fernandez, 1995, 27). Sexual orientation is determined by a youth�s patterns of sexual attraction, arousal to erotica, behaviors, and self-labeling (Fernandez, 1995, 27). Coming out to other people is the most stressful event in a gay person�s life (Savin-Williams, 1994, 261). Coming out stress is caused by society and not by the persons sexual orientation (Savin-Williams, 1994, 261). Gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth feel vulnerable because of �issues of disclosing or being discovered by family or friends, reactions by others to their homosexuality, and chronic stress associated with their homosexuality� (Savin-williams, 1994, 261). Coming out to parents is the biggest coming out challenge for gay and lesbian youth (Edwards, 1996, 347). Gay males seldom ever tell their parents (Edwards, 1996, 347). Discovering that you are gay occurs at a bad time because teenagers do not have a lot of personal resources and they lack positive role models (Fernandez, 1995, 27). Accepting ones own homosexuality can be stressful for many youth and it often causes stress in other parts of a persons life (Fernandez, 1995, 27). Males tend to externalize this stress more than females (Savin-Williams, 1994, 262). Gay students are the loneliest students in America�s schools today and they fear for their safety (Savin-Williams, 1994, 262). Many gay and lesbian youth will perform poorly in school, be absent a lot, fail a grade, and eventually dropout of school (Savin-Williams, 1994, 264). Gay and lesbian teachers often will not help gay and lesbian youth because they fear that they will be accused of recruiting or converting youth (Savin-Williams, 1994, 264). Gay and lesbian youth often have no one to talk to. Each individual�s coping skills determine how well that individual will be able to cope with gay or lesbian self-identification. Adolescents have a lot of stress as they go through the identity formation process and discovering that they are gay or lesbian is an additional stress for these youth (King, 1995, 36). Many gay and lesbian youth develop coping strategies that help them manage the stress easily (King, 1995, 36). Poor coping skills lead to problem behaviors in gay and lesbian youth who do not know how to handle the stress (king, 1995, 36). Older adolescents may be able to handle the stress of an emerging homosexual identity better because they have had more time to develop their coping skills (King, 1995, 36). Some adolescent�s subconsciously delay dealing with these issues until they are older (King, 1995, 36). Gay youth with poor coping skills will display conduct problems such as drug abuse, running away from home, school related problems, and conflicts with the law (Savin-Williams). Studies have found that 58% of gay and bisexual male youths abuse drugs (Gillis, 1995, 75). Youth suicide is a leading cause of death among adolescents and gay and lesbian youth with poor coping skills are at high risk for suicide thoughts or actual suicide attempts (Brock, 1996, 169). 20 to 39% of gay male youths attempt suicide (Gillis, 1995, 76). Gay and lesbian youth will often withdraw from their families and parents will not know why (McMillen, 1997, 395). Gay and lesbian youth develop social identity management skills (Edwards, 1996, 347). They learn very early the need for, and safety of, secrecy about sexual orientation (Edwards, 1996, 350). They fear the reactions of friends and family (Zera, 1992, 851). They decide to whom they can come out to. Many gay and lesbian youth will date the opposite sex simply to put up a false image well others will not do this because they do not want to hurt another person. Most gay youth will come out to a friend, and then if they tell their parents their mothers are usually first, and then their fathers (Edwards, 1996, 349). Gay and lesbian people often lead compartmentalized lives (Magruder, 1996, 316). Some people they tell and some people they don�t. It is believed that gay and lesbian people way the costs and rewards in determining whether or not they will come out (Macgruder, 1996, 327). If they feel safe and if they think that they can trust someone they will open up and come out to a person, if not they will stay hidden or in the closet around that person. Once gay and lesbian people have developed the necessary coping skills to get along in society they function as well or better than most straight people (Edwards, 1996, 353). Gay and lesbian people are not misfits or incapable people (Edwards, 1996, 353). A study consisting of 317 lesbian, gay male, and bisexual young adults found that self-esteem in these people is equal to self-esteem in straight people (Savin-Williams, 1995, 57). Gay and lesbian people have made it through the adolescent identity crisis when they get to the point of self-acceptance (Magruder, 1996, 314). Marie, a lesbian youth prayed to be straight and when God did not make her straight she prayed to die and when God did not kill her she tried to kill herself (Riggs, 1996, 185-186). Is it normal for gay and lesbian youth to pray to God for death because they don�t want to be gay? Many gay and lesbian youth do pray for this. Does this sound like a person making a choice to be gay or lesbian? The Religious Right must think so because they believe that sexual orientation is a choice and they are forcing their views on everyone else in the name of God. If God doesn�t want people to be gay or lesbian then why doesn�t God change gay and lesbian people as many have requested through prayer? God must in reality love gay and lesbian people as they are. Jesus said to �love your neighbor as yourself� and he meant all of your neighbors. Jesus Christ did not once condemn gay and lesbian people and he did not once even mention homosexuality, instead he focused his ministry on love and compassion (Bass, 1996, 283). If Christ did not mention it then he must not have considered it an issue. The Religious Right are in reality hurting the mission of Jesus Christ because they are driving many gay and lesbian people away from Christ. Comedian Lynn Lavner uses this paragraph in her act, �The bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. This doesn�t mean that God doesn�t love heterosexuals. It just means that they need more supervision� (Bass, 1996, 279). This is a joke but it is clear that the Religious Right needs much more supervision. |
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