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Sardar Ji jokes -1

How do you recognize a Sardar?

You should be sure the person is Sardar when he puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to makeup his mind.
Tries to drown a fish in waters.
 Sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
 Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
Trips over a cordless phone or takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts "Sagittarius."
Studies for a blood test and fails.
Sells the car for gas money.
Misses the bus no. 14, and takes the bus no. 7 twice instead.
Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home.
Gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.
 

SOME QUESTIONS & ANSWER :

Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear.

What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

What do you call 5 Sardar's standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.

What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

What do you call a Sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.

Why do Sardar's always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
"TOES Go IN First."*

Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They cannot find the eleven on the phone.

How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.

What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

How can you recognize a Sardar in a submarine?
-He is the one with the parachute on his back.

Why wont the simpleton sleep with his wife?
-because he knows its bad to sleep with a married woman!

How do you keep a sardar busy all day?
-Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

Do you know what a Sardarji will do after taking XEROX?
-he will compare it with the original for mistakes!

Do you know what a sardarji will do if he wants some more white paper?
-He will take a Xerox of the white paper.

 

A Letter Of Sardarni To Her Son

Pyaarey puttar,

 

Vahe Guru.

I'm writing this letter slow, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Jatinder fell in a the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father. There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened !

Love

Mom.

(Got this by e-mail , I'm not taking the credit for that. E-mail sent by my friend Subhadeep Das)


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