Sari-Saring Jokes
Pilot to tower: Wala na
kaming fuel, 400 miles kami from shore. Give your instructions, over!
Tower: Repeat after me.
Our Father, who art in heaven...
Patient: It's been one
month since my last visit to you doctor but I still feel miserable.
Doctor: Did you follow the
instructions on the medicine label?
Patient: Yes doc. Sabi
kase dun sa bote: "Keep lid tightly closed."
What will happen if you have a wooden car with a wooden engine
with a wooden wheel and a wooden seat?
A: It wooden start.
Alam mo ba kung bakit hulog ka ng langit?
Dahil bawal ka doon...!
Doctor: 90-years-old na
kayo tatang, bakit gusto ninyo pang mag-viagra?
Tatang: Gusto ko lang
tumigas ng konti para pag umihi ako lampas sa sapatos.
Woman in restaurant sees the chef flattening the hamburger with
his armpit.
Girl: That is the most
disgusting thing I've ever seen.
Chef: You should see how
we make donuts.
Naliligo si Boy Bastos kasama ng kanyang Nanay.
Boy: 'Nay, ano yan?
(Tinuro ang dede.)
Nay: Ah, anak, tawagin mo
na lang yang pasas.
Boy: Tang-inang pasas yan,
parang UTONG!
Patient: I have pneumonia,
gonnorhea, and tuberculosis. I have a
lot of contagious illnesses. What
should I eat?
Doctor: Ok, we have to
feed you pancakes.
Patient: Why?
Doctor: Coz it's the only
food we can slip through the door.
What is sex in Spanish?
Vamos tumba la kama, entrada mi picoy to fuerta, con atras abante,
no pwersa pero sige rapido birada, cargada semilya todo discarga, formada
familia...OLE!
Q: What do you call the
sex organ of small men? A: Compact
Dicks
Q: What do you call the
sex organ of aliens? A: Laser Dicks
Q: What do you call the
sex organ of old men? A: Floppy Dicks
Q: What do you call the
sex organ of young men? A: Hard Dicks
Q: What do you call the
sex organ of midgets? A: 3.5 Dickettes
3 characteristics of the male organ:
Gentle - tumatayo bago magtanghal
Emotional - umiiyak habang nagtatanghal
Polite - Yumuyuko pagkatapos magtanghal
Binata: Pwede ba kitang
ligawan?
Dalaga: Bakit may RAV4 ka
ba? BMW? Benz? o CR-V man lang?
Binata: Bakit ano ba yang
pekpek mo, highway?
Wife whispers to attendant to buy condoms: 3 packs please.
Attendant: What size mam?
Wife: (closes her eyes and
opens her mouth) This big ata eh.
Policeman arresting a prostitute:
Prosti: I'm not selling
sex.
Policeman: Then wat are
you selling?
Prosti: I'm selling
condoms with free demonstration.
Ideal male of the millenium
1. humble - laging nasa
ilalim
2. mabait - hindi
nambibitin
3. gentleman - hindi
nauuna
4. neat - sa loob
nagkakalat, hindi hinuhugot.
New Filipino Boxing Champion:
Americans have a hard time cheering for Manny Pacquiao. They cannot shout his name because it will
sound: "Manny Fuck Yow!"
Q: Sino ang unang gagong
lalaki sa mundo?
A: Eh di si Adan. Mantakin mo may katabing hubad na babae ang
kinain ay apple, hindi nipple!
Judge: Why did you shoot
your wife instead of her lover?
Accused: Your honor, I'm
sure you will agree with me that it's easier to shoot one woman than shooting
one man every week.