Subject: Pinoy PatawaHow do Pilipinos use these words in a sentence?
1.. Tenacious - Bepor you go out, put your tenacious on.
2.. Deposit - Call da plahmer, deposit is leaking!
3.. Splat - Oh my goodness, my tire splat!
4.. Associate - When I went to da bathroom, associate in da toilet so I plashed it.
5.. Hostess - When da pone rings, I ask hostess?
6.. Beef Stew - My beeper beeps, does yours beef stew?
7.. Persuading - This month will be my cousins persuading anniversary.
8.. Depressed - Depressed is da one who leads mass on Sundays.
9.. Deficit - Bepor you jahmp in da pool, check how deficit.

This is a Pinoy making a long distance call....
Operator: AT&T, How may I help you?
Pinoy: Heyloow. Ay wud like to long distance da Pilipins, plis.
Operator: Name of the party you're calling?
Pinoy: Aybegyurpardon? Can you repit agen plis?
Operator: What is the name of the person you are calling?
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu and sori. Da name of my calling is Elpidio Abanquel. Sori and tenkyu.
Operator: Please spell out the name of the person you're calling phonetically.
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. What is foneticali?
Operator: Please spell out the letters comprising the name a letter at a time and citing a word for each letter.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Da name of Elpidio Abanquel is Elpidio Abanquel. I will spell his name foneticali.
Elpidio: E as in Elpidio, L as in Lpidio, P as in Pidio, I as in Idio, D as in Dio, I as in Io and O as in O.
Operator: Sir, can you please use English words.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Abanquel: A as in Airport, B as in Because, A as in Airport agen, N as in Enemy,
Q as in Cuba, U as in Europe, E as in Important, and L as in Elephant.

This is a Pinoy in an American coffee shop:
Waiter: What kind of coffee would you like, regular or decaf?
Pinoy: No, Big cup!! Big cup!
Waiter: What would you like for your breakfast?
Pinoy: Hameneggs.
Waiter: And how do you like your eggs, sir?
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. I like dem beri much.
Waiter: No sir, I mean how would you like them cooked?
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. I wud like them cooked.
Waiter: (with increasing impatience) Would you like your eggs...Fried? Poached? Hard boiled or soft boiled?
Pinoy: (with increasing uneasiness) Yes, one fried en one hard boiled or sop boiled.
Waiter: And what bread would you like?
Pinoy: Begyurpardon?
Waiter: What kind of bread would you like? White? Rye? Whole wheat? Toast?
Pinoy: Pan Americano.
Waiter: We don't have that.
Pinoy: Okay, gib me taystee.
Waiter: We don't have that either, sir.
Pinoy: Do you heb pan de lemon or bonete?
Waiter: Sir, you are wasting my time. I shall ask for the last item, what would you like for breakfast?
Pinoy: Donut plis.....