These are from a book
called Disorder in the Court. They are things people
actually said in court,
word for word, taken down and now published by
court reporters who had the
torment of staying calm while these exchanges
were actually taking place.
Some of these are excellent! Don't miss the
last one.
*****
Q: What is your date of
birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
*****
Q: What gear were you in at
the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and
Reeboks.
*****
Q: This myasthenia gravis,
does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it
affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give
us an example of something that you've
forgotten?
*****
Q: How old is your son, the
one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or
thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived
with you?
A: Forty-five years.
*****
Q: What was the first thing
your husband said to you when he woke up that
morning?
A: He said, 'Where am I,
Cathy?'
Q: And why did that upset
you?
A: My name is Susan.
*****
Q: Do you know if your
daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
*****
Q: Now doctor, isn't it
true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until
the next morning?
*****
Q: The youngest son, the
twenty-year old, how old is he?
*****
Q: Were you present when
your picture was taken?
*****
Q: So the date of
conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing
at that time?
*****
Q: She had three children,
right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
*****
Q: How was your first
marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was
it terminated?
*****
Q: Can you describe the
individual?
A: He was about medium
height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a
female?
*****
Q: Is your appearance here
this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your
attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress
when I go to work.
*****
Q: Are you qualified to
give a urine sample?
Q: All your responses must
be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
*****
Q: Doctor, how many
autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed
on dead people.
*****
Q: Do you recall the time
that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started
around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was
dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on
the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
*****
Q: Doctor, before you
performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood
pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for
breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible
that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure,
Doctor?
A: Because his brain was
sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient
have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that
he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere.