POEMS:
Dwelling, Hate Fuck, One Night Mentality, Who I Am, Worldliness
(BY THAD... of course)
DWELLING
Why do you hug yourself like that
When she’s sitting right next to you?
You know it’s you she’s staring at
Using your peripheral view
But you keep looking straight ahead
Your arms are crossed around your knees
You want to touch her, but instead
You keep your distance, ill at ease
You never thought you had a chance
But she actually loved you back
A very unlikely romance
No wonder it turned out this black
So now it’s over, said, and done
Her love was unexplainable
You never thought you’d lose the one
Who once seemed unattainable
You’re so used to being alone
That love felt inappropriate
Affection was too hard to show
Although you both desired it
You’re back to how you were before
Empty and drained of any bliss
She doesn’t love you anymore
But shouldn’t you be used to this?
Your body feels a deathlike cold
Alone and trembling where you sit
Nobody’s there for you to hold
You never do get used to it
Hugging yourself again, so sad
These memories you hold onto
Why didn’t you want her this bad
When she was right in front of you?
Do you think she finds time to weep?
Of course not, you fucking moron
While you’re crying yourself to sleep
She has no trouble moving on
You’re easily forgettable
But you cannot forget her face
You’re easily replaceable
But she can never be replaced
Will there ever be a next time?
Yes, but you’ll just fuck that up, too
Failure will keep you from trying
Past memories will continue…
And you will lose…
Everyone who…
You get close to.
HATE FUCK
There will be no fucking affection in my eyes
For in the past, that’s always killed me, and besides
I’ve been murdered too much, now it’s your turn to die
I’ll fuck you so hard, it messes up your insides
“Faster, harder, deeper!” Don’t tell me what to do
You’re so damn shallow, any deeper would stab through
And that’s just what I want the most out of this screw
I’m humping this fierce, because I hope it hurts you
You look way too fucking happy
So I pound you more viciously
With anger and intensity
No fucking sensitivity
While in my head, a fantasy
Of knifing you repeatedly
Too bad you aren’t menstruating
It would add to the imagery
I had certain feelings, ones you clearly didn’t
Now I just have memories of lost contentment
Just lay there with your emotional detachment
Each thrust of mine is fueled off built up resentment
No, this is most definitely not out of love
Because I would be finished by now if it was
This rage keeps me going, just like it always does
In my ugly life, caresses turn into shoves
I don’t want you to like it, this isn’t a game
Stop creaming with pleasure and start screaming in pain
Your expression tells me that for you it’s the same
You get off on this violence, you’re fucking insane
ONE NIGHT MENTALITY
Showing emotion just means letting my guard down
I’ve made that mistake plenty, and regret is all I’ve found
You’re probably a bitch-whore like the rest of them
I will not allow your kind to devastate me again
I want to hurt you, before you can hurt me
That is my bitter mentality
We’d have nothing in common, I can already see
You’ve got a pop manufactured personality
Your dime-a-dozen views are painfully predictable
How could I be interested in anything but the physical?
If I gave you the chance, you would do this to me
That’s my preemptive mentality
It’s safer to not believe in love anymore
As long as I get mine and hopefully you don’t get yours
You’d love to trap me in some sort of relationship
And then there’d be no end to your manipulation shit
You want me to love you, so you can hurt me
That is your fucked up mentality
At first I assumed you were no different than them
A pretty face on the outside, but no substance within
That is, until you proved to have a magnificent core
Now I actually want this to turn into something more
I guess not everyone is as damaged as me
I need to change my mentality
My former logic blinded by feelings for you
But only one week later, you’re fucking somebody new
Looks like we shared more than I originally observed
Perhaps this painful lesson is what I truly deserved
Before I could hurt her, she did it to me
Because that’s her “one night stand” mentality
WHO I AM
I’ve suffered for my honesty
So I’ll remain a mystery
But that’s not what you want from me
So I reveal my history
You don’t like what you really see
My morbid personality
Whatever you want, I can’t be
A part of your hypocrisy
I’m interesting
When you don’t know who I am
I’m overwhelming
Once I can show who I am
It’s so frustrating
When you can’t see who I am
It’s so depressing
That I can’t be who I am
You want to know what I’m about
You dig the process of digging
But you get bored when finding out
The truth makes me less challenging
If understanding is a must
Yet you avoid explaining it
A walking contradiction’s just
Another word for hypocrite
It’s interesting
When you can’t see who I am
It’s overwhelming
Once I can be who I am
I’m so frustrating
When I can show who I am
It’s more depressing
No one will love who I am
WORLDLINESS
Immorality is taught to be an admirable thing
Anyone that disagrees
Will face the penalties
No more freedom of religion
All the pastors are in prison
Choose carefully
What you believe
Because if you preach
Most likely
Somebody
Will accuse you of hate speech
I despise the world's direction
So I face the world's rejection
Total lack of ethics, fill me with disgust
Little girls giving blowjobs on the school bus
What the fuck?
By the end of high school, most the girls are sluts
Virginity
Rarely
Kept by age 18
Apparently
It seems
To hold no meaning
So obscene
Kids are having sex and it’s become routine
Question people's motives
Find they live so selfishly
Choice of company
Comes down to who has more money
Don't worry
About purity
The main goal is security
Greater knowledge of this life brings more anxiety
Be an elite sheep to join the high society
Be happy while living a lie
Become a social butterfly
Just try to view the world with a truthful eye
Put away your comfort, try to sympathize
Be honest with reality
There's no such thing as sanity
Open up your eyes
Then you'd understand why
Every single night
The most educated cry