What You Need Part 2

Isabel hadn't known that either for a long while. It had taken her time, and a close call or two that she had never told Max about, to realize that she couldn't be serious about any normal guy. That realization had hurt, but it had kept her and her family safe since then. Dating strictly to have fun, to live in the moment without getting attached had taken her a long time to get used to. How had Alex picked up on it so quickly?

"She wants things back the way they were. She wants normal, like before that day at the CrashDown." Max said nothing, and Isabel nodded slowly, realizing he was right. "I know the big secret. I think I remind her that things have changed. Isabel wants to pretend, if only for a while, that things are like they were before. So she accepts a date with someone who doesn't know her secret. She goes out and has a good time, just for the sake of having a good time. It lets her forget for a while that things aren't 'normal' anymore." He took a calming, if somewhat ragged breath. "I can't give her normal." The speech seemed to have robbed him of what little energy he had. Turning away he made his way off the field, leaving Max staring after him, not sure what to say.

Isabel followed Alex at a distance, glad that Max had let him go. She just didn't want to deal with him. Not now. She had to talk to Alex.

***

Max watched him walk away, not having the heart to pursue the matter. Alex was hurting, and hurting bad. He hadn't realized that Alex had it so bad for Isabel. He also realized that Alex was right. He knew that Isabel had been stressed out recently. They had all been stressed out, apparently he just hadn't realized how bad it was for the others. Maybe, he realized, he'd been so wrapped up in trying to be a leader that he'd forgotten that they weren't soldiers. They had their own personal lives and priorities.

Keeping them alive had to take precedence, but asking them to set aside all other considerations, to live in fear, wasn't going to work. Alex was right. That was no way to live. He'd have to find a better way.

***

Isabel caught up with Alex about halfway home. He didn't seem to notice that someone was hurrying to catch up with him. Either that or he didn't care. Perhaps he just didn't associate the hurried and less than graceful sounding stride with the normally self-possessed Isabel Evans.

"Alex, wait." She slowed as she finally caught up with him. He glanced over at her as she pulled alongside him, but didn't slow. "I need to talk to you." Alex said nothing, but he did slow a bit. She drew a deep breath and let it out.

"You're right. All this time I had it backwards, but you're right." He cast a confused glance at her, not understanding. "I heard some of what you said to Max." She glanced down, embarrassed at her eavesdropping. "I thought it was you who wanted normal. Wanted to go out on dates and act like a normal couple when we weren't. When we couldn't be. It was so much to deal with, that the prospect of getting serious with someone was suddenly terrifying." She didn't know where all this was coming from, but he wasn't walking away from her anymore.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. Really I didn't. I wanted things back the way they were and you were there wanting to behave like nothing strange was happening. Like we weren't being hunted by evil aliens, and how corny does that sound?" She realized she was babbling. Isabel Evans never babbled.

After taking a deep breath to get herself under control she continued. "I'm sorry Alex. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know, and I do understand. I still can't give you normal, or whatever passed for normal a year ago." Isabel rolled her eyes at that. She couldn't help it. It was such an 'Alex' thing to say. He saw the expression and turned away to continue his walk home.

"Alex wait. I'm sorry. Really."

"I'm sorry too, sorry that I'm not what you want." Isabel moved after him, getting angry now.

"Don't tell me what I want. Don't think one insight means you understand me completely." He ignored her. "All right Alex! Please just tell me what I can do to fix this." That stopped him. "I don't want to lose you." Her words were spoken barely above a whisper, but they reached him nonetheless. He turned to face her.

"You won't," he answered quietly, "I'll wait, but you need to know what you want and what you need." He left her there and continued home alone.

***

Isabel was quiet at dinner. She brushed off Max when he tried to speak privately later. What did she want? What did she need? There were so many complications. The whole destiny bit, the Skins who could be anyone, and to top it all off they had the thing the Skins wanted most, a brand new piece of alien technology in the pod chamber that they had no idea what to do with. It was all too weird. Trying to figure out her love life was an added pressure that she didn't need.

Accept there wasn't any pressure. Alex had said he would wait and she believed him. He was just like that. Face it girl, you don't deserve him. Thinking like that didn't help, she decided, even if it is true, she added morosely. Alex had been patient and understanding through it all. She knew he was solid, someone she could rely on, and she knew he loved her. She'd known that since the first time she entered his dreams to discover if he was trustworthy.

Grant on the other hand... What did he have to recommend him? Money and good looks? What else? She came up blank. He seemed like a nice guy, but that wasn't any guarantee of anything. All guys put on their best face when trying to get a girl interested.

She couldn't ignore their current circumstances either, as much as she wished they could. They did have enemies, dangerous enemies. She didn't believe that Grant was a Skin, but she didn't have any choice but to consider the possibility. Was his arrival a coincidence? It was paranoid. It was possible. She didn't know anything for certain, and it was safest not to get involved with, let alone trust, new people. She couldn't even take the risk of going out just for a good time, as much as she might want to.

Max was right. And that really irritated her. Was that it? She wondered. Had she gone out with Grant as much to defy Max as to try to get back to normal? It was a stupid motive, but she wouldn't admit that to Max. She had to be honest with herself though. Being forbidden to see him had only pushed her into doing so all the more eagerly. Ignoring Max and ignoring the situation they were in was dangerous and stupid, but she had felt so confined, so smothered by their circumstances and all of the secrets they had to keep that it had been necessary to break out for a while.

She felt ashamed that she hadn't even considered Alex' feelings when she did so. You should be saying this to him, a little voice in the back of her mind admonished her. There were times when she hated that little voice, especially when it was right.

***

"I guess I had to understand my own motives before I could start thinking about how to make things right with you." They were sitting in the bleachers watching football practice this time. At least, practice was underway. The two teenagers only had eyes for each other though. Alex nodded slowly, thinking about what she had said, and silently patting himself on the back over having read her and her motives so correctly. He kept it off his face though. He knew any sign of smugness at this point would just make her angry, no matter how guilty she was feeling. He spoke carefully after a moment's consideration.

"Sounds like you put a lot of thought into it Isabel. So... What now?" Alex met her eyes, careful not to betray how much he wanted and needed the answer that would see them back together again. He wasn't successful. Isabel smiled warmly. He loved that smile.

"I can't say I won't resent Max trying to run our lives or resent the situation that makes this constant paranoia necessary, but I can promise I won't take it out on you again. I'm sorry Alex. I know now what I want now, and I know what I need." She leaned forward and kissed him gently.

THE END