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| We're Whipped Part 1 |
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| Author: Reena Email: [email protected] Rating: uh, average, PG15 How the four of them were in this position was anyone's guess. But some strange force of nature had brought Michael Guerin, Max Evans, Alex Whitman, and Kyle Valenti into Michael's apartment. And stranger even was the fact that they were hanging out. Like normal guys. Pizza boxes, empty soda cans and empty Tabasco bottles scattered the coffee table and kitchen counter. Michael and Alex were playing a video game while Max and Kyle were engaged in a ping-pong match. At some point, a break was taken where more pizza and soda were consumed. And conversation took place. Between the four guys. If Maria DeLuca had heard about this gathering, she would have lost it. "Hanging out? At Michael's? Together? Talking? To each other?" The disbelief probably would have sent her into shock. The guys were fortunate, though. Their girlfriends were not around this evening. They were at their own gathering. Or "Chick-bonding" as Kyle and Michael referred to it. "Guerin. You should get a pool table in here." "I'll house it if you pay for it, Valenti." Now, what male gathering would be complete if last names were not used to call to each other? "Dream on, Guerin. Just a suggestion." "From Buddha-boy. Who gave up his room for a girl?" "Oh, and the "Exotic Splash" soap in the bathroom was your idea?" "What can I say? I'm a tropical kind of guy." "And the tea-tree oil on the sink?" "I'm worried about my skin." "Or DeLuca owns you." "I repeat. This coming from a guy who gave up his room for a girl. Who now runs his house." "Tess does not run my house." "Yeah, then why were you whining at Isabel's party about her stuff being everywhere?" "Oh, cut it out you two. You're acting ridiculous." "You're one to talk, Maxwell." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Oh, come on guys. Let's just eat pizza and play video games." "Did Isabel give you permission to be out tonight, Whitman? Or should I call you 'Chippendale'?" "Valenti, Valenti. We all know that Tess probably kicked you out tonight...even though she's not there...and that's why you're here." "Alex, you didn't answer Valenti's question. Did Isabel give you permission?" "Michael. The only reason we're over here is because Maria put you on probation again." "So what did he do this time?" "Well, Kyle, Michael once again insulted Maria's "My Little Pony" Collection. A most grievous offense." "Even I knew that one, Michael." "Oh shut up 'Fearless Leader.'" "And that makes you "Clueless Second," right Guerin?" "Exactly, Chia Head. Exactly." "What? Where'd you get that one?" Three voices replied, in unison. "Maria." "That little-" "That little what?" "That name tortured me throughout fifth grade. I still don't know who started it." "What Alex?" "Yeah, Whitman, spit it out." "Maria started it." The one formerly referred to as Chia-head was not amused. "Fearless Leader" and "Chippendale" were laughing. "Clueless Second" was laughing with pride. "Of course. I should have guessed." "Yeah, you should have." "Hey, like Whitman said, we're here because you screwed up and got yourself on Maria-probation again. Did she revoke Eraser Room privileges, too?" "Kyle, that's enough." "This coming from a guy whose girlfriend owns him." "Liz does not own me." "Um, Max. She does." "Thanks a lot, Alex. Takes one to know one." "Isabel doesn't own me!" "Um, yeah right. Didn't you tell me that she dragged you to the mall to buy hair and nail stuff?" "Michael, I like spending time with her, alright. Plus, when your two best friends are girls, you get used to it." "Whitman, man! You've got to be strong. You can't let her take you to places like that. You have to be a man. I would never go to the mall with Tess." "So when Liz and Maria saw you there last Sunday with her...that was just coincidence?" "I don't know what you're talking about Evans." "Give it up, Valenti. Maria was practically in tears telling us you came out of Victoria's Secret with Tess." "Guerin, of all of us here, you aren't one to talk. If anyone's girlfriend completely owns them, it's you." Some mumbling was heard from Max and Alex. "What? Max? Alex? What?!" "Uh, hate to tell you Michael...but Maria owns you." "Sorry, Michael. I'm with Alex." "Oh, yeah. This coming from a guy who practically gave his freedom to his girlfriend and you," gesturing to Max, "are so whipped on Liz, that if she called you to come to that "chick-fest," you'd bail in a heartbeat." "Right, Michael. And if Maria called you, you wouldn't be over there?" "No. I would not enter that "chick-space." I would not watch some chick-flick and engage in ice-cream bonding." "Guerin, you seem to know a lot about what happens at those-" "Any guy knows what happens at those. Movies with some hot guy. Then ice-cream and yakking about guys. Right Alex?" Three pairs of smirking eyes were on Alex. "Right. But I didn't need Isabel's permission to be here." Three pairs of rolling eyes and three, "Sure"s were heard. "Kyle. How does your dad deal with the fact that you're dating Tess?" "Oh, the usual "No Sex" lecture and we can't ever be in her room with door closed and stuff like that." "At least you don't get attacked with a newspaper." "I'd take Amy with a newspaper any day of the week over my dad pissed off." "At least you know where Maria got her fire from." "I don't think that was ever in question." Just then the ringing of the phone interrupted the conversation. Michael walked over to answer it as the other three listened, pretending to be eating pizza and drinking soda. |
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