Enlightenment

Author: Reena
Email: [email protected]
Rating: uh, average, PG15

Kyle Valenti decided that he was at the point of desperation. He had almost learned from Maria-the cause of all of his current problems-how he had screwed up. But now she was in the Eraser Room, sucking face with her stupid boyfriend who actually thought he needed rescuing from Maria. And he was no closer to getting himself off of probation than he was before talking to the Hurricane. Maybe there was a light at the end of the tunnel...

"Evans."

Max Evans wasn't doing so well. He was still thinking about the fact that Kyle Valenti had seen his girlfriend's bra. Even though it had been a while ago, it bothered him. What was more upsetting to him is that he was the only one bothered by it. Liz didn't seem to be bothered. And Tess was mad, but that was only because Kyle was "stupid." And now he wanted to talk to him...

"Uh, hey Kyle." Well, it was Max Evans. Of course he was going to talk to Kyle.

"What's up? Liz put you on probation or something?"

"Uh no."

"Then what's your problem?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, well, look. I can't believe I'm asking you this...but I need help."

"You need my help?"

"Yeah. With Tess."

"Oh."

"So...um, what did I do wrong?"

Max Evans was ready to tell him exactly what he did wrong, accompanied by a vicious rash attack. Then he realized something big. Kyle Valenti was asking him for help.

"Well-"

"And don't tell me that you can't tell me because I know you can. We're guys. That stupid "code" thing that the girls have doesn't apply to us."

"Tess is upset about the bra thing."

"Yeah, Evans...I know that one. I just don't get why. I complimented her bra. Big deal. And DeLuca was no help on explaining why."

"Maria? Oh, that's right. You guys were in the Eraser Room."

"Yeah, then Michael had to bust in and act like I needed rescuing-"

"Trust me Kyle, you needed rescuing."

"Whitman. Was I asking for your opinion?"

"No, but I'd bet the farm that your chat with her didn't go over so well."

"So, maybe it didn't. That girl is not stable."

"Oh, so she hit you, didn't she?"

"What?"

"Valenti, Valenti. I've known Maria as long as you have. She likes to hit stupid people upside the head. Just ask Michael."

"Puh-leeze. I wouldn't let her hit me upside the head."

Whitman exchanged glances with Evans. Yeah, right.

"I wouldn't!"

"Sure. So, what's the problem?"

"The problem? Aside from my probation? Aside from Maria?"

"Valenti, you need to learn...Maria is not your problem."

"Really? Then why am I on probation?"

"Uh-"

"And you, Evans. Why are you so quiet?"

"Oh him. He's just upset at something stupid."

"It's not stupid."

"It's stupid."

"That's just Isabel talking."

"Hey. Don't get defensive on me...I'm not the one who caused this. He is."

"Me? What did I do?!"

"Ah, that is the question, isn't it?"

"Stop speaking in circles Whitman. This probation thing just sucks the big one and I just want to know how to get off of it."

"Try apologizing."

"For what?"

"Tell him Max."

"Shut up, Alex."

"Tell me what? Evans? Whitman?"

"Max, you want to take this one?"

"No, Alex. I do not want to take this one."

"Can you guys please stop talking in stupid circles?!"

"Easy, Kyle. Yelling at me will get you no help."

"Listen up computer boy. You are also dating a temperamental alien. This could happen to you. So..."

"Trust me. This could not happen to me."

"Why?"

"Why? Because I wouldn't be stupid enough to say what you said."

"You know, I'm getting really tired of that broken record. Evans. Please. Just clue me in."

"Uh-"

"He's going to be of no help to you, Kyle."

"Why not?"

"Because he's mad at you."

"I'm not mad at him."

"Yeah, right. You've been in this mode ever since you found out."

"Found out what? Why is he mad at me? It's not like I got him shot or anything."

Max Evans had decided that not only was Kyle going to suffer a vicious rash attack, but he may have to do something about his hair, too. Maybe a poodle look or something.

"Valenti. Cool it. Okay? Look...I'll help you out here."

"Thank you. Well? I'm waiting."

"You made the error of telling Tess that she had a bra like Liz's."

"Uh huh."

"And do you realize what that implies?"

"Huh?"

"Oh boy. I'm beginning to think you may deserve this probation thing-"

"Whitman, I'm warning you. Talk."

"You know, I could care less whether or not you're on probation..."

"Come on, man! Tess frosty...it's just not good."

"Fine. The problem is that you implied to Tess that you've seen Liz in a bra. As in referred to a past relationship with another girl. Bad move."

Whitman and a very uncomfortable Evans watched Valenti in amazement. It was actually taking him time to process what he had just heard. They could almost hear the gears in his head clicking. And then, after what seemed like ages, he resumed speaking.

"Ooohhh. That's what she was mad about."

"Perceptive."

"Shut up, Whitman."

"Hey, now. I just helped you out..."

"Oh. Uh, thanks. Now I've gotta go find Tess..."

"Um, I wouldn't do that if I were you..."

But that comment fell on deaf ears. His back was already turned to them and heading in the direction of the lunchtime table. To get himself off of probation.

"No wonder Isabel didn't tell us he was with Maria..."

"Huh?"

"That guy is just clueless. It is funny."

"No it's not."

"Aw, geez. Lighten up. You knew that Liz and Kyle dated. There must have been a possibility that he had seen her bra."

"You're not making me feel better."

"Look, man. I've seen Liz in a bra! Just get over it. If Liz could care less, then you should care less."

"I can't explain it. Just the thought of her and Kyle..."

"Oh boy."

"What?"

"You have Liz Parker head over heels in love with you and you're thinking about Kyle..."

"I'm not thinking about Kyle!"

"Excuse me. Liz and Kyle."

"Alex!"

"Dude. You're the only one seeing Liz in a bra these days. Just be happy about that."

Max Evans just grumbled at his friend.

"Since when did you become the relationship expert?"

"Ah, that. The perks of girls as best friends."

"So, I'm being stupid."

"Oh, yes. Borderline Michael/Kyle stupid. And Liz Parker, believe it or not, does have a temper."

"I know."

"Oh, no you don't. You've never seen her really upset. There was this one time when we were like eleven and..."

Enlightenment was in the air.

Kyle Valenti was secure in the knowledge of how he wound up on probation and that he could get himself off of it. Max Evans was over his little "problem," thanks to Dr. Alex. And he was learning something very interesting about the temper of his girlfriend.

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