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| The Apparent Triumph Of A Dodgeball Master |
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| Author: Reena Email: [email protected] Rating: uh, average, PG15 Alexander Charles Whitman was on a roll. Not only had he had the fortune of spending some quality time with his very frisky girlfriend in the Eraser Room, but he was also a relationship counselor to Max Evans. Who, in his opinion, was way too upset over some lame bra comment that came out of Kyle's mouth. Alex just couldn't understand the big deal. Even he had seen Liz in a bra. And now, he was about to put his talents to further use. "Okay, Tess, tell Dr. Alex what's wrong." "What's wrong?! Um, the fact that I actually hold the title for the worst boyfriend? Not Maria. Me." "Dumbest. Not worst." "What?" "Kyle is the dumbest boyfriend, but he's not the worst. He actually tried to apologize, right?" "And failed. He completely didn't get what I was mad about..." "Through no fault of his own. We're guys, Tess. Not psychics. Guys." "Trust me, I know. But what he said..." "It's Kyle. What were you expecting?" "A sign. That he's not a complete retard. I mean, he's supposed to be "enlightened" and all." "So, uh, how long do you have to wait? Because he is Kyle..." "You're not helping, Dr. Alex. At all." "Not true. He honestly tried to apologize. Do you think Michael does that for Maria?" "No-" "So, you don't have the worst boyfriend." "You know, you guys all stick together-" "Oh no we don't. That's a girl thing. Guys...we enjoy watching each other suffer." "So Kyle being an idiot is funny to you guys?" "Absolutely. But, I still think you should forgive him and accept the fact that he's an idiot." "Just forgive him? For what he said?" "Yep." "You don't even know what he said..." "Did he say it to piss you off?" "No-" "And he feebly attempted to apologize?" "Yes-" "So suck it up and let Maria have her boyfriend title back." "No way. No caving." "No caving?" "Yeah, we're not caving to them." "We? Oh, no. Another Maria-plan?" "The girl has good ideas." "Ri-ight. Um, okay. How about forgiving him? You know, to restore the group dynamic? Move forward. Be enlightened. " "And leave Maria hanging?" "The girl caves to Michael all of the time." "No she doesn't." "Ah, that's right. You missed Michael and Maria-the early times. Lots of caving." "Hmm...Can I still keep him on probation?" "Until school is over. Then just accept your Chia for what he is." "No wonder Isabel never complains about you." "I'm perfect. I know." The Dodgeball Master was pleased. His "little grasshopper" was following along nicely. He had successfully turned Tess from the Dark Side and helped to prevent a disaster in the form of a certain Chia trying to turn the tables on his alien counterpart. The world was looking good as he headed towards his next class. And then disaster--as one Hurricane and friend pulled him into the Eraser Room. "Hello ladies...and to what do I owe this pleasure?" "Well, Dodgeball Master..." Uh oh. Not a good sign. 'Dodgeball Master' was only used when he screwed up. And the look on Liz's face... "Maria says you told Max about the telescope incident-" "The solemn promise telescope incident-" "That we were never going to talk about-" "And you just go blabbing it to Max who-" "Hey!! Calm down. That was like, six years ago-" "Alex. There was a solemn promise. I haven't told anyone that you wet the bed at my 10th birthday party because we made a solemn promise." "And you're not going to..." "Why not? You told Max about my little incident and now he probably thinks I'm nuts." "No...He's just been warned that you have a temper, that's all. You guys aren't going to say anything about me wetting the bed, are you?" Hurricane and Telescope Incident exchanged glances. "We'll get back to you on that one." A shocked Dodgeball Master watched as his two best friends left him in the Eraser Room. Defeated, he left, only to run into his "frisky" girlfriend. He thought things were looking up. "Hey gorgeous." "Don't you mean 'tempermental PMSing alien girlfriend'?" He was wrong. The Dodgeball Master's apparent triumphs were not looking so good. In fact, they were sliding downhill faster than he could imagine. It reminded him of his early dodgeball times when he was not a Master, but a grasshopper being pelted with the dodgeball at an alarming rate. "What? I never said that. Who said that?" "Kyle told me." "Kyle? Valenti? And you believed him?" "Yes, I did. And now we're going to have a little chat..." And Frisky pulled him into the Eraser Room. Two minutes later he was left alone, again, in the Eraser Room. And that's when he came to his own realization: This was all Maria's fault. And he was going to join the crusade of turning the tables on his girlfriend. * * * * * |
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