Part Three
A Journey
through the Narrow Door
"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." (James 5:8)

The story behind The Ezekiel Files
When I got saved, I was surprised to find out there is a Kingdom that belongs only to God. God has a spiritual Kingdom that one can enter into down here on earth, where His truth becomes real inside your own heart and you know you are saved! It's important you know that no one can see this spiritual Kingdom (inside their own heart) until God reveals it to them Himself. And no one gets to enter but through one door! That door is Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God!
I found out that it only takes an instant to be saved. However, I also found out that growing with God takes time-and can be painful! I did not know this when I was first saved, and thought everything was going to be easy as I lived a perfect and sinless life. I found out the hard way that this is not the case; and I became very frustrated with God.
Then one day, while standing in the middle of my living room floor, I cried out to God, "What is wrong with me? Why do I find things so hard to do?" Suddenly I heard God say to me, "I do not want religion from you-I want a relationship!" (Simply put: Religion is following a system of religious beliefs, traditions and ceremonies, not knowing God, but only knowing about God; whereas relationship is growing with God as we begin to know Him as our heavenly Father. The first is controlled by man and only produces spiritual death, and the second through the power and indwelling of the Holy Spirit (being born again), which produces life!)
No one can fully explain what God does when He decides to come and personally intervene in a life and home. However, in the best way I know how, I share a small part of my story with you. God is a supernatural God that wants to do supernatural things in our lives. He can come into your heart and home and intervene in whatever your problems or needs are...or how impossible they seem! May my story encourage you to call upon Jesus' name for salvation, as you ask Him to reveal Himself to you inside your own heart and home. (Luke 10:21-22)

Meeting the Lord
I was a student, a homemaker and a mother-and I was very unhappy. My marriage of only two years was not working out, and I decided one day to get a separation from my husband. I went down to the welfare office and signed-up; then came home and asked my husband to leave. That day I thought my life was ending, only to find out later it was just about to begin...
I sat in the living room that night and cried, as my two-year-old son tried to comfort me with his hugs and kisses while we watched television shows. I was numb from the exhaustion of that day, and I was worried about how I was going to make it as a single parent. Suddenly, I heard a well-known evangelist shouting at the top of his lungs, "You must know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and Lord!" I was surprised to discover I was watching a Christian crusade, for I didn't remember changing the channel on the television set.
I felt like I was led by someone and just obeyed, as I walked over to the phone to dial the number on the screen. I talked to a man on the other end of the phone and told him my situation. He asked me if I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. I told him I did, and said a prayer with the counselor on the phone. All of a sudden I began to feel warm all over. A tingling feeling went from my head to my feet, as I felt (what seemed to be) sin drop off my body. I stood in awe of a peace and presence that filled the room, and all I could say was, "You're alive! You're really alive!"
Somehow I knew it was Jesus that was there in that living room with me. For the first time in my life I knew He really lived today, and that He even cared for me and knew what I was going through. It was like God had opened me up and filled me with knowledge of His existence and reality-as He filled my heart with a new kind of love and peace that I never experienced before. The whole time was controlled by God, as I stood in the middle of my living room floor in His presence. It felt like the Lord had sent 10,000 angels through my window up on the 32nd floor of my apartment building!
I went to sleep on the couch that night, but was later woken by a loud noise. I sat up and heard what sounded like chariots of horses running in place down the small hallway in my apartment. The sound was very loud and seemed to come from far away, as it echoed throughout my apartment. I watched my cat as he hid behind the love seat with his back hunched over, hissing at something neither of us could see. The presence of God still filled my place, as the sound continued for only a few minutes. When it stopped, I laid down on the couch and went back to sleep.
I woke up in the morning feeling refreshed, as I wondered what had happened to me the night before. I definitely knew nothing about a God that did these kinds of things! All I know is that I was at peace. I went outside with my son that day and actually felt the breeze hit my face. I noticed how the sky looked so blue and the grass so green, and I felt so content that I even caught myself laughing now and then.
I saw my husband a few days later and he immediately noticed a change in me. We began to trust in God and I started to read my Bible regularly. I remember how I could stand in my apartment and whisper the name of Jesus, and feel God's peace supernaturally fill my apartment. Sometimes all I had to do was think about Jesus and His presence would overwhelm me. I talked to Jesus every day, as I experienced His reality come alive in my life!

Out from under God's hands!
I knew very little about the power in God's Word (the Bible) and the importance of an everyday walk with Him. I gradually began to put God last on my list of priorities, and it did not take long before my relationship with the Lord and my husband deteriorated. My husband and I would always fight and yell at each other, and the peace the Lord had brought earlier was gone. I knew Jesus was alive now, and I thought everything was going to be easy from here on in. Instead, through the next few years, I found myself in a marriage that was almost more frustrating than it was before.
My husband and I grew farther apart as days pasted by. Tension would fill our home to the point where I could actually feel a spiritual battle between good and evil go on-and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I would cry out to the Lord, but nothing happened. It seemed the more I prayed to God the worse things got! The situation looked hopeless, as I thought often of getting a divorce.
I had relatives who were born again Christians. During this time, they began to tell me about spiritual warfare (a war in the heavens between Satan and his angels and God and His). Summing up their advice went something like this: "Take control in Jesus' name-and throw the devil out of your house!" I thought they were crazy, and I was not going to listen to them. I wanted to keep my common sense about what was going on in my home, and there were many nights when I took the phone off the hook!
I certainly was not going to take on the devil! On the other hand, I knew the more I prayed, the harder things seemed to get. The tension in my home and between me and my husband was so unusual. There were times I felt I was no longer fighting against a human being-but something evil instead. Things got so out of control that I started my desperate search for God again! I began to walk through the house, rededicating me and my whole family back to God. I would go through each room, as I called on the name of Jesus for His protection and love to fill our hearts and our home. Many hours were also spent back in the Word of God. I remember how I kneeled at my bedside many nights and asked God to use me anyway He wanted-just please, come and intervene!
The tension was so bad in my house that you could feel it when you walked through the door. Emotional battles went on all day long. The more I prayed, the later my husband stayed out at night. When my husband walked through the door, I watched our bedroom turn into an instant battle ground; not physically, but verbally. The bad thing about it was that I was the one that couldn't keep my mouth shut, no matter how hard I prayed! The nights always ended in frustration; and I'd leave the room as my husband would crawl into bed and go to sleep. This continued until one night when we were arguing my husband left the bedroom to go lie on the couch. I was so frustrated that I followed him out to the living room and continued to yell at him. He, on the other hand, laid on the couch with a blanket over his head and refused to fight anymore.

Presenting my case before God
I was so angry and frustrated! I had been crying out to God for six years now, ever since I got saved, and I couldn't understand why God wasn't doing anything to help! That night I stomped into the back bedroom to have it out with God! I knelt on my knees on top of the bed and started swinging my fists at God so hard that my knees lifted up off the mattress. I began to scream at God: "Where are you? You said you would be here for me! Where are you?" I carried on like this until all the energy inside me was gone. I ended my prayers that night telling God that I was never going to believe in Him again...and cried myself to sleep!
The next day my husband left home and I found me alone again; only with two children this time. I was mad at both my husband and God, and I was determined to set out on my own without either one. However, God obviously had a different plan, for I spent that evening talking to Him. Although I can't explain how it happened, I sat on the couch and talked to the Lord as though He sat right next to me. Again, I felt like I was not in this world, but in God's! And I somehow knew we had talked for three hours.
I remember how I complained to God about my husband that night, and how He always turned the conversation back to me. He made it clear that the problem was not only my husband, but me as well...and that I was the one He was dealing with right now! I ended that evening down on my knees, with tears rolling down my cheeks. I asked the Lord to forgive me and to let my husband do the same. I gave Him me and my marriage that night all over, and I told the Lord I was willing to go along with whatever He decided to do.
Time became a reality to me again as I found myself getting up off my knees, with tears still rolling down my face. The peace of God surrounded me...and I knew I had been in the presence of the Lord-no matter how crazy it seemed or how unworthy I was! I spent the rest of the night in the Word and peace of God and went to sleep with the Bible in my arms-hoping that whatever was not taken care of six years earlier had finally been taken care of that night!

The first message... "I am your God!"
I woke up the next morning in the peace of God and wondered (again) what had happened to me the night before. Although what was happening to me did not make sense, for some reason I felt more sane now than I had in my whole life. I liked to write, and I sat that morning and began to take down notes about all that was happening to me. However, instead of writing down my own thoughts, I began to write down words I heard from the inside of me. I didn't have to think about what I was writing for the words were just there. I wrote down every word I heard inside, and to my amazement wrote down the following message...

Received December 5, 1987
"You do not live your life as you think you should, nor are you as great as you think you are! For I am your power and your strength; I am the great one; I am your God! Be gentle and kind and nourish your love toward Me, and I will see you through your hard times and your good. Look to Me, don't look at others, and we'll walk through the darkness together into the light once more. You are My child, a child of God, so be glad not dismayed. Flourish with the love I put in your heart and let it flow freely. Don't ever hesitate, for where there is love-there I am.
Remember, I will be with you always and you will find My way if you look straight to Me for all your needs and desires. Be gentle and kind, humble, and I will set you free. You will see peace in your home like you've never seen before. You will see love and kindness, good and hope, and there will be no more hate toward each other. For I keep My promises and I have seen the good things you have done, not just the bad.
Walk on with faith. Be stable and loving and always put Me first, for I am the Lord thy God who lives within and will soon live within the whole family; and they shall be My family of God and they will walk with Me for My purpose and My purpose only!"

The soft vibrant voice
I sat there in awe and wondered if the message really could have come from the Lord. I knew that there was definitely a new peace in my home and in my heart once again. I called up my oldest sister on the phone and read the message to her. She knew Scripture well and believed that the message was from the Lord. The phone rang all day long from others in the family who had given their lives to the Lord earlier. As for myself, I still was not sure about all of this!
I read the message repeatedly, as I tried to figure out how this happened. All I knew was that although I did not hear an audible voice, there was a soft, vibrant voice inside me that I knew was not mine! I later decided to take the message seriously, and told God that I was only doing so in faith.

The Lord steps in
I spent the next day thinking maybe I just went crazy. On the other hand, I knew I felt so good; I had a clear mind, felt very energetic, and my children and I were at peace. You could feel the peace throughout my whole apartment, and I laughed at the thought of bottling it-just in case it went away and I needed it later!
Early in the evening my husband came home. I decided not to tell him about what I thought had happened to me the night before, for I was not sure how he would react to it. We met in the kitchen and began to have simple conversation. That was until I found out he had dropped by just to get ready for a night of bar hopping. It was not long before we started to argue.
Suddenly, I heard these words vibrate behind me saying, "LOOK TO ME." It felt like the Lord was standing right behind me, as peace began to fill the apartment from one end to the other. I stood there with my mouth opened and didn't move, as my husband got ready to go out. When he was ready to leave, I opened the door with a smile on my face and said goodbye. Suddenly I knew God was going to deliver him too-sooner or later!
I sat there in awe of a God I was beginning to experience in my own home. I spent time with the Lord that night in His Word, as I read with eagerness to learn about a God I was finally getting to know.

"If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless." (James 1:26)

God heads straight for the heart!
The second message ... Slander is forbidden!
The next day, while I was in my back bedroom reading my Bible, I began to experience that same feeling come over me that I felt the day before. Somehow I knew that I was about to receive another message. The best way to describe this feeling would be like having the Lord tap you on the shoulder to get your attention-only without feeling the taps. Something strange and different was happening to me. Because I didn't understand it at the time, I was hesitant to pay attention to it. I would even try to ignore it. However, there was such a peace and love about the feeling that I had to trust it, although I didn't understand it. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil and began to write down my second message from the Lord...

Received December 6, 1987
"Be so humble that when you turn to Me you will see only Me. Close out all thoughts for I work through you selfishly. I need your undivided attention, for what I have to say to you is important!
Turn your back on evil and wrong. Slander is forbidden! Block out evil before it enters and do so by binding Satan and praising Me through the blood of Jesus. Don't dwell on what evil Satan can bring, but praise My good works and power instead. Don't give Satan an inch of your attention for he will use it and run with your life!
I say unto you, "be careful for what I say to you, for it will save you from danger that could lie ahead."
Turn to Me. Look straight to Me and remember what I've taught you. I do not speak callously or out of line, but I speak with truth and knowledge. Run from Satan and he'll run from you. Be careful and look to Me for everything. I am the Lord thy God who lives and reigns forever.
Don't stumble and fall when words of truth stand before you. Take My visit as a blessing and a warning to keep your eyes on Me!"

Watch what you say!
I knew the Lord was warning me. I also remembered that my husband mentioned something about coming over that day to talk, and I knew how fast the tension could build in my home. I started to look up some words that were in the message. I looked up the word "slander" in my Thesaurus book and found the following words: defame, libel, dishonor, curse, attack, belittle and sling mud-these were just a few of them! I also looked up the word "slander" in my Bible. It was defined as "a malicious statement," and described slander as being "destructive (Proverbs 11:9), deceitful (Psalms 52:2), deluding (Proverbs 10:18) and devouring (Proverbs 16:27-30)." The tension always did seem to follow the words! I suddenly realized all the ground I had given Satan by all those terrible things I said all of those years! That is why I was not receiving my blessings from God! (I also noticed that the word "slanderer" in the Bible means, "a gossiper," and that "it merits punishment" (Psalms 101:5). I began to realize why many of us were not receiving our blessings!) The Lord had shown me one of my many weaknesses, and I pleaded with Him that afternoon to please take it away! I asked Him to forgive me (and I later asked my husband to do the same). I gave my problem to the Lord and seriously asked for help!

A touch from God
I spent time with the Lord in His Word that night. The Bible was becoming so interesting now, and I could actually understand what I was reading. I felt safe when I was reading the Bible. It started to become my lifeline to all I believed God was doing for me during this time.
I went to bed about 1:00 in the morning, but ended up tossing and turning for over an hour. I laid there with my eyes closed, trying to get to sleep, when all of a sudden I seen this bright light. It was round like the headlight of a car, but it shined with a brightness I had never seen before! I opened my eyes and lay on my back, and felt tingling go from my head to my feet. I felt the peace of God surround me. The next thing I remembered was waking up the next morning with the peace of God still there is my room.
I didn't know what was happening to me. It was like God just moved into my apartment for a few days to show me He was real and to do some work on me. Part of me wanted to believe this was God while another part of me was afraid that I was being deceived. I fought continuously with His reality I was beginning to experience in my life, for I never heard of God doing these kinds of things before!

The third message...A gift from God
God somehow helped me to go forward in faith, and I later began to watch Him work with my husband and me. I paid more attention to the words that came out of my mouth, and gradually noticed a change in my own heart. And my relationship with my husband and God grew! (A small word of advice: If you do not learn the lesson God is trying to teach you the first time around, you will find yourself experiencing the same situation again and again. I'm speaking here from experience, for God has to deal with me now and then about this same issue even today!)
My husband agreed to move back in the following night and give our marriage another try. Although he was very hesitant about coming back, I just knew things were going to be different this time. I was on my way to bed that evening when I decided to go back into the kitchen to thank God for all He had done. As I sat there and prayed, I received my third message from the Lord...

Received December 7, 1987
"Do not have fear when I come to you, for I come with joy and with good news. You will carry the cross of many in need and My voice shall be heard across the land. Be open and have faith that only I will enter into your heart and mind. I'm not out to destroy, but am out to deliver the good news.
I am the Lord thy God who comes before you, and I assure you good things you will hear only from Me. Let your heart be humble and your spirit free. Put your heart and mind to ease that I am here to stay and dwell within your heart and your home.
Keep your eyes on Me and I'll help you grow with this special gift I, your God, has given you with great joy. Keep your eyes on Me! Keep your heart open, and have and use the faith I will give you as we go along. Bind Satan in your works and praise Me through the blood of Jesus Christ.
Speak freely of what I say to you and share the good news with everyone, for you will be used for the needs of others who do not know I exist! Praise Me and honor the gift, for I have chosen My people carefully. Keep your eyes on Me, Your Lord, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns forever and ever.
Onto you came a gift of joy, a gift of peace and a gift of love that flow through My heart."

Growing with God
My heart would melt when I received these messages, for whatever feeling the Lord talked about in the messages I felt in my heart. I knew what I was experiencing was not normal on earth, and I was glad I felt the Lord by my side. There were many days when I would hear Him whisper in my ear, "KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME." I was very amazed at the reality of His life, and I later began to understand why so many born again Christians were so serious about their faith!
I stood back and watched the Lord put back together my marriage, piece by piece. Hearts that I thought could never be repaired became brand new, as the Lord began to absorb our lives with His tender loving care one day at a time. The tension in my home began to disappear as God's peace seemed to cover us. We started to become a family, and it dawned on me how far off we were from being one. I began to put my trust in God, and I watched my faith grow more each day.

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:7)

Knowing God-Or only knowing about Him
Receiving messages from the Lord is something one does not hear about every day. The normal response to this would be that you are crazy! However, I was beginning to realize that there was so much more to know about God than what I had been told. I began to realize that many who say they know God today only know about Him! I was beginning to find out that we serve a God who wants us to get to know Him personally!
Coming from a large family, only a few of us had given our lives to the Lord. I think we always knew about God and believed in His Son, but we didn't have a personal relationship with Him by asking Jesus Christ into our own hearts. No one had really sat down to tell us that believing was not enough-but one must also confess with your mouth Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and Lord to be saved! (See Romans 10:9,10)

Getting right with God
Family members who knew the Lord set up an appointment with a pastor to discuss "ancestral bondage." The Bible talks of curses that will be passed on to the third and fourth generations through "disobedience to God's commandments" (Exodus 20:5); although Deuteronomy 24:16 makes us accountable for our own sins. There was sin in our lives, and we wanted to get right with God! We also had experienced the supernatural (from the dark side) most of our lives, and could tell you personal stories and experiences that would have you sitting on the end of your chair...and keeping you up most of the night!
It was also a very emotional time for us when our father died suddenly from hardening of the arteries at the age of 42. I can still remember watching the black limousine pull up in front of our house on Christmas Eve morning to take all of us to the funeral-and later bring us back home so we could open our Christmas presents. It was a dark day that never went away, as we found ourselves struggling and dealing with many problems we encountered in the years that followed.

The fourth message..."I am by your side"
The following message came the same afternoon the family was to go to this meeting. God was now becoming real to many of us in the family. After years of church attendance, the goal now was to get serious with God...

Received December 9, 1987
"Do not be dismayed when others bring bad tidings of news, for I am by your side and I see and well know the torment that surrounds the family covenant.
Keep your head high in assurance and know that I am there when you least expect Me. I, your Lord thy God, will be there to comfort all. And they shall acknowledge Me as the powerful Lord, thy God, who lives and reigns and controls all life-even Satan's!
Be gracious unto Me that one day you all shall see the Kingdom of heaven. Believe that I am the Lord thy God, your Lord, who works and reigns among His people. Never doubt the works of the Lord. But instead, praise Me during all times of doubt for I set My people free!
Blessed are they who believe and yet have not seen, for they are My children of God and they shall be My right hand always. Peace be with you and keep your eyes on Me!"

If you have any Ouija boards, and the like, in your home, please throw them out! Anything that looks "demonic"-toss it! (Such as posters, music covers, books, movies, video games, etc. You can sometimes tell what's inside by looking at the cover.) Beware, even if it doesn't look demonic! (Angels are becoming very popular, including an angel game that looks like the Ouija board. Make sure you go to the Bible to learn more about angels, and don't worship them!) If you toy with tarot cards, horoscopes, evil role model games, satanic symbols and worship, seances, witchcraft, or even spirits in your home-stop it! Things of the devil can seem harmless, but are very dangerous and can open you and your loved ones up to a spiritual side that you do not want to encounter. Get rid of it all! Then ask Jesus into your heart and home, and ask Him to fill you with the Holy Spirit. Daily read God's Word, and bless your house in Jesus' name. (I also suggest you seek out Christian authors who devote their lives to exposing the dark side! And beware of false New Age, quick-fix, self-help teachings that do not teach God's Word, or acknowledge Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.)

The fifth message... A plan to restore all faith
The messages continued, filled with encouragement to trust in the Lord Jesus. Though we were all very amazed at what was happening, I still fought continuously with my faith-not in God, but in the way He was working with me. I kept telling myself, "God just does not work like this-or does He?"

 Received December 9, 1987
"Be humble and see the things I bring before you. Do not stumble on the small things that bring little pleasures, but rejoice and be glad, for I only give gifts that are refined and purified unto Me, your God, who reigns over all! Lift up your hearts and rejoice, for I come to you with a plan. A plan that will restore all faith, and truth will be seen through My eyes and My eyes only.
Never fail to recognize the promises of your Lord, for did I not prove Myself to you many times before? I am your Savior who comes to you with great joy and remorse, for I am saddened by the little faith you have in Me, your God. Let go and be glad I have found you. For it will be a time to cheer when My purpose comes alive in your heart.
Do not feel hate or revenge, but lift up your hands to Me and give thanks that I, your God, has taken this time out to be with you. For I've heard the many prayers of your loved ones also. Tell them their prayers have been heard and I shall grant them their many desires. And they shall know that I am a God of truth and of love. I do not forget My promises, and I uphold to the many wishes their hearts desire.
Do good as you would to your Lord, thy God, and My visits will return again and again. Be not frightened, but have faith that I, your God, will be with you and your loved ones. And we'll walk through troubled times this time together.
Be wise and obey My rules, for they are the keys to My holy city. Know I am there and we'll soon meet again. Your loving Lord, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns in the Spirit. For it's not what you've done that brings Me to you, but what you will do. Follow your heart, for there I will be always."

God, is that You?

 I found out that God loves you no matter who you are or what you may have done. He comes into your life and meets you right where you are, as He sets you free and shows you how real of a God He is! I found out that as long as I stayed close to Him in relationship and in His Word that He was there to help me out. He is a living God who welcomes everyone back with opened arms (even if we have abandoned Him for a while), and turns no one away who calls on (and continues to call on) Jesus' name for help! I began to ask God to increase my faith. He continued to teach me to trust in Him more each day, as He began to take me down His training road...

The Lord makes a personal visit
Shortly after I began to receive messages, the Lord made a personal visit. I had just crawled into bed and was turning to tell my husband goodnight when I felt this heating pain over my heart. My first response was that I was having a heart attack. I tried to turn to let my husband know, but by the time I was able to do so the pain was gone. I thought this was odd, but I just shrugged my shoulders and went to sleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night with that same pain over my heart. It did not hurt in a physical sense, but I could feel this great burning sensation over my heart. I sat up in bed and saw my husband laying next to me on my left side. When I turned to my right, there stood (what looked like) the Lord standing at my bedside. A great light glowed around Him, and I saw this big ball of fire burning in His chest. I laid there in amazement and watched Him, as He placed His right hand over His chest and reached it out toward me with actual fire on His hand saying, "Take this fire from My heart," and something about the Holy Spirit. I noticed as He reached His hand toward me that the heating sensation over my heart increased. I started to get up, but as I did so, the Lord lifted His hand and I laid back down and went to sleep.
I woke up the next morning with this incredible peace in my room. It was after this that I definitely knew something was going on and that maybe the Lord did call me for some special purpose. Although I tried to talk myself into believing that this was just a dream, I was later reminded of that same heating sensation that was so real to me before I went to sleep that night. I finally realized that maybe this was God's way of letting me know that this really did happen! The strange thing is that I never experienced that same heating sensation over my heart since.

The reality of the Holy Spirit
After I got saved in 1981 while watching Christian television, I began to search for a church to attend. This Sunday morning I had just walked into my first Spirit filled church. The service was already in progress as I tiptoed quietly up into the balcony and hoped no one would notice me. I sat there with my hands in my lap, not knowing how to respond to those around me who were raising their hands in the air and clapping to music.
I looked around and could see an actual mist in the air. In fact, the whole atmosphere of the church was of one I had never experienced before. I was determined to keep my composure through all of this and kept swallowing down the lump that formed in my throat as I tried hard not to cry. Just when I began to get up to leave, someone approached me and asked me what was wrong. I suddenly found myself surrounded by all kinds of people who wanted to pray with me.
I hurried out of that church at the end of the service that morning and walked down one of the roughest streets in the city in a complete daze. I felt that same mist around me that I felt in the church, as I stumbled over the cracks in the sidewalk with tears rolling down my cheeks. The fact that I safely made it home that morning was a miracle in itself, and I don't think I was ever the same after this. I later realized that "Who" I probably experienced that morning was the Holy Spirit.
I remember one Saturday evening sitting in another Spirit-filled church. Toward the end of the service, they had a few missionaries come up to get blessed before they left on their journey, and they were calling upon the power of the Holy Spirit. I knew Jesus was real, but now I needed to know if the Holy Spirit was just as real. I said to myself, while the service was going on, "All right, Holy Spirit! If you are real-I need to know!" Immediately I felt this big wind come from the altar. It hit me with such a force that it almost knocked me off of my chair. In fact, if I had not been hanging onto the sides of my chair, I would have been thrown right off! I asked my husband next to me if he had felt that wind, but he had no idea what I was talking about. The force of the wind was so strong that the whole church should have felt it, and I knew it was the Holy Spirit showing me that He was real too!

The power in Jesus' name
The Lord had a way of showing me that He would always be there by my side. However, my greatest lessons came when He began to show me the power in His name...
A few nights after I was saved, back in 1981, I was laying in bed when I felt like someone or something was holding me down. Out of nowhere, I felt my shoulders being pinned down to my bed. It was very forceful, but I did not see anyone there. Immediately the name of Jesus rose inside me. As this happened, I felt whatever was on top of me being thrown off of me that very instant, and I turned around and went to sleep in the peace of God!
There was another time, though, when I did see evil standing in my home. I was standing in the bathroom one morning putting on my makeup as I got ready to go to work. It was early in the morning and it was still dark outside. The light from the bathroom showed down the hallway enough to clearly see to the kitchen; and as usual, I was rushing to get to work on time. I happened to glance down the hall when I seen this big black figure standing next to my children's bedroom door. It looked like a human being, but it was quite large and had a beastly look to it. It was leaned up against the doorway as though it was resting itself on its arm, and it was watching me. Suddenly I felt these words just pop out of my mouth, "Oh, in Jesus' name be gone!" Before the name of Jesus was completely out of my mouth, the thing was gone. It just vanished!
A few days later, I met this strange lady in the drug store. I was walking down the aisle where she stood with her back turned to me, blocking my way so I could not get through. When I walked up behind her and asked her politely to move to the side, she pivoted herself around on one foot where we stood face to face. She stood there with her back hunched over and began to hiss at me like a snake. My first reaction was, "Oh no, Lord, not another demon!" Then I thought to myself, "All right! I'll just go around!" I wanted to avoid this young woman and I looked for the easiest way to get out of her way, but I was not able to move! It was like my feet were glued to the floor. Then I heard the Lord speak to me inside, "JUST THINK MY NAME, THE NAME OF JESUS!" I couldn't believe what was happening to me. By this time the guy behind the counter and a few of the customers were watching us, waiting to see what was going to happen. I took a deep breath and said to myself, looking the woman in the eyes, "In Jesus' name-MOVE!" Instantly she pivoted on that same foot and turned her back to me, just making enough room for me to get through. I carefully walked by her as I heard her hissing, and I kept my eyes on her until I knew I was out of her reach! I hurried out of that store after I paid for my products, later feeling guilty because I didn't tell that lady about Jesus.
I stomped my feet down the sidewalk as I headed home. I was angry that all of this was happening to me, and I didn't understand it. I asked the Lord, "Why do you let this stuff happen to me? First there was that demon standing in my hallway, and now you let me run into this possessed woman. Why, Lord?" I wasn't really expecting an answer, but as clear as day I heard the Lord say to me, "TO SHOW YOU THE POWER IN MY NAME!" All I could do was shake my head in amazement, as I ended up telling God how awesome He was all the way home!
There were many times when I needed to call on the name of the Lord for His help, and I always found Him to be there for me and my family. Many days I would walk through my apartment and call on His name to bless our home and all hearts in it. I have learned to depend on Jesus for everything. He has become so much a part of our lives that we have a rule in our home: No one leaves the house without asking Him to go with them. Call it crazy if you want, but I found out it works...

Take Jesus with you out the door each day
One may think that if God intervenes in your life even once, that you would not have any more problems. This was not the case for me. There were still times when things were very chaotic in my house, and because of it, I had given myself a stomach problem. As a result, I could never make it to the bus stop two blocks away to take my bus to work without having to drop by a gas station every morning, and I was getting really frustrated.
Then one morning I was getting ready to go out the door when I heard the Lord say to me, "Take me with you out that door!" I said, "Okay, Jesus, let's go!" I opened the door and held it open long enough for Jesus to walk through first (in faith) as I followed behind. I did this for five mornings in a row, believing that Jesus was walking with me (and talking with me) down that sidewalk. Each morning was a little better, until by Friday morning I didn't have to stop by that gas station at all! And I haven't had this problem since. What amazed me even more, though, was the fact that just for one second I actually thought I felt Jesus' cloak rub up against my right hand as we walked down the sidewalk together that Friday morning.

A special word for parents
No one can protect and love your children like God can. There is a feeling of relief to know you can send your children out into the world and know that God goes with them. I found out just how much power a step in faith with God can have. I also know that when you make the decision to say "yes" to Jesus Christ, God's only Son, God can make Himself real to you in a way you never thought possible. Allow God to show you how He still loves and protects His children. Begin to acknowledge Him today, and put your trust in Him. And tell your whole family to take a step of faith each morning and ask Jesus to go with them out that door!

"Tell your children I am with them wherever they are..."
Children need to know that Jesus is there with them at all times. The Lord told me to tell others to tell their children that "He is there for them at all times." He said, "They need to know this-that I am there for them always and that I love them. They need to be told this to reassure them I am there with them-no matter the situation." So, parents, tell your children this, and reassure them of this over and over again. (Especially since the school shootings that have taken place!)

God's training class
The things of God began to consume my life. Many times I felt like I was going through a spiritual training class. There were some mornings when I would awaken and feel I had just walked out of a class with the Lord. Sometimes I even caught myself talking with someone just as I was waking up, like I was just finishing up a conversation with the person who taught me that night's lesson. I would have dreams about the Lord many nights, but could not remember details in the morning. Sometimes I would see Scripture being pointed out to me in my dream, as someone shined a small light over the words of the Bible so I could read them.
There were many times when I couldn't explain what was going on! All I know was that I felt safe because I somehow knew it had something to do with Jesus. I became very close to Jesus during this "training time," as He kept revealing Himself to me in special ways. For instance, there was this one night when I sat up in bed after something had woke me up from my sleep. I sat there in amazement as I listened to Jesus read Scriptures to me. His voice thundered like a flowing river and then faded away after a short time, and it was one of the few times I thought I heard Him speak audibly.
I knew I was being taught the Word of God and being trained by someone, but the only explanation I could think of was that it was the Holy Spirit. I also noticed that somehow I had a spiritual understanding of the Bible that I didn't have before; and I had a personal knowledge inside of me about who God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit were.
To this day, I seek to spend special time with Jesus because He shows me how real He is. In fact, many nights before I go to sleep, I will still ask the Lord to wake me up early the next morning so I can spend quiet time with Him-and He does! I know this might sound strange to someone who doesn't know the Lord, but I also know that it "might not" to those who are getting to know Him as well.
I was beginning to realize what God meant when He told me, "I do not want religion from you-I want a relationship!" I was getting to know the Lord now, and I actually enjoyed spending time with Him. What amazed me most was that I was able to do this in my own home and be taught about the Lord from the Lord Himself! This was new to me. I never knew God did things like this, and I was very impressed and pleased how God didn't have to seek the approval from any church or preacher before He did anything. I was learning from "the Head of the Church" Himself-Jesus Christ, the only Son of God! Jesus seemed to break every rule-of-religion as I knew it, just like He did in the Bible. I especially loved how He seemed to go out of His way just to show me how real He is!
All that seemed important to Jesus was that I let Him into my heart and get to know Him, the Father, the Holy Spirit and the Word. He would always encourage me to go on and learn more about God's Kingdom each day. And whenever He saw me become discouraged, He would do or say something that would bring me back to that "simple" relationship with Him so I would continue to put my trust in Him. For example, one day I had become discouraged after I had listened to someway say how they had memorized so much of God's Word. I told the Lord, "I spend all this time with you, but I never memorized Your Word!" He immediately responded very strongly, "YOU KNOW ME-AND I AM THE WORD!"

The long dark tunnel
I began to look back in my earlier years and remembered small experiences I had with the Lord, but they always occurred in my dreams. One of these dreams occurred when I was about nine years old and was sick with a high fever. I kept having this same dream for about three or four nights in a row: I was in this long, dark tunnel, and at the end of the tunnel stood Christ. The tunnel was lighted at the end, and I remember how the Lord kept motioning to me to come forth, but I found myself unable to move. Although at the beginning of each dream I noticed how I had made my way a little closer to the end of the tunnel, I never made it to the end of the tunnel in my dreams. In fact, at the end of each dream I always woke up screaming. Why? I don't know. This was years ago, and I have not had this dream since.

The garden
Shortly before I renewed my relationship with the Lord, I had this dream where I visited with Jesus in this beautiful garden. To this day, I can recall the peace and scenery of this visit. The garden was at the top of a hill that was surrounded by a white fence. Connecting each end of the fence stood a huge, white arch with flowers growing over it. The colors were so perfect and bright that not even the best artist could have matched them. The grass seemed greener than what we are used to, and the flowers were beautifully colored and seemed to actually breath. There was a mist that covered the ground, and in the center of the hill was a big tree. There was no one there but Jesus and me, as we sat on one of the white benches that lined the inside of the fence. Every now and then, Jesus would get up and walk through this garden with me by His side. I don't remember what we talked about, for all I could see was our lips move. I didn't hear any sound in my dream. A gentleness seemed to radiate from Him, as He melted away any pain or hurt that one would normally have. And I remember being angry when I woke up, for I did not want to leave.
Every visit from the Lord left something special behind in my heart. Jesus taught me His tenderness and care for me, as for all; and I was beginning to think that maybe I finally did make it to the end of that long, dark tunnel to Christ's feet!

My walk with God continues
Even though I received messages for myself and others, I later began to receive them about "things in the world that were to come." I did not understand many of the messages at the time I received them, and I would read them and tuck them away. I knew one day it would be revealed to me somehow the meaning and purpose of His words to me. Eventually, some of the messages I received began to gradually happen in one way or another. My faith and trust in God grew as I went through this special, secret journey with just Jesus and me.
As I grew in the Word of God, many of the Lord's words became clear. I hungered to learn God's Word and His teachings, and I spent much time just listening to those whom I felt knew what they were talking about. I was very careful to go back to God and His Word with each teaching I listened to, and I always asked the Holy Spirit to guide me while I listened to anyone preach.
As time passed, I gradually learned the importance of keeping my eyes on Jesus...and how important patience is! I felt the Lord was training me for something special down the road, but I had no idea how hard it can sometimes be to do what you think God is telling you to do. For instance, there were a few days when I became so frustrated that I picked up my Bible and the messages and threw them across the room, as I yelled at God, "How do you expect me to do this!" I thought everything was going to be easy, especially if God told me to do it. And when things didn't work out the way I thought they should, I tried to figure out what it was I was doing wrong. I did know, though, that I could go back to God with my concerns, and I eventually did this after I was done with my yelling and screaming! I was very surprised to find out that I could be honest with God and even get mad at Him, and still find Him there when I calmed down. He helped me understand how He could do this when He let me realize that whenever my children get mad at me-I didn't throw them out of my house either!

The grace of God
I began to trust more in the Lord each day. I knew there was nothing great that I did to be given the honor of having such a personal relationship with Him, but I was beginning to learn about one special gift from God-God's grace. I would read in the Bible about His grace and I heard many preachers talk on the subject. But in my heart, I was not sure what it really meant.
One day I asked the Lord, "Lord, please show me what it means to be saved by grace." It was a question I would have never asked if I knew what it would involve. For three weeks, the Lord began to reveal to me just what it meant. It was as though He had lifted any protection of peace and serenity He had over me. Everything I attempted went wrong, and the presence of God was gone! Within three weeks time, I was a total wreck...and my whole family was thrown into an uproar! When I saw that things were beginning to go back to the way it used to be before I was saved, I told the Lord, "Okay Lord, I had enough! I know what it means to be saved by your grace!" Immediately I could feel the protection and peace of God fill my heart again...and I never asked Him that question again!
After this experience, I knew I could do nothing without God's help. I knew that my days of peace were possible only because of His grace, and I realized that the protective shield He had over my family was also because of His grace. I found out that even having the capabilities of loving God was only possible because of His grace for me. I had a new outlook on life after this, and I was quick to catch my tongue and my heart whenever I started to judge anyone.
The Lord had this special way of showing me that without Him I was nothing-and I knew it! He had a way of letting me know that all will go well as long as I keep my eyes on Him and know He alone is God! And whenever I began to feel overwhelmed by the chores of life, I knew I was beginning to wander away from the Lord's side. I would hurry back to His side and His Word for the peace and safety I always found there. I began to learn what it meant to give up more of myself each day and live my life for the Lord. He gradually became my life line, my best friend, and my purpose...and I was beginning to realize that without Him, I could not go on another day.

The sixth message...A special calling
The Lord continued to instruct me in my journey with Him, as He always encouraged me to trust in Him and lean on Him a little more each day...

 Received December 11, 1987
"Look to Me. Do not stumble on words of ignorance, but instead, flow with the blood of Jesus Christ. Be not humble to defend yourself, but to defend Me, for I the Lord, your God, has come with good news.
You will become one of My disciples. You shall cover the land with My Spirit and indulge in the pleasures of My Kingdom. Do not fear, for I give you no more than you can adhere to. Instead, be free in spirit and trust Me, your God, for I come with glad tidings.
Understand that you are here to be used. And I, your God, shall see to it that all your needs are met. Be kind in heart and spirit, for I shall return and visit you with My holy plan to you. Be not dismayed that I, your God, shall end it here, but I have My time for everything and My timing is not yet right.
Have faith and be prosperous with My gift of holiness, for we shall meet again. In God's name there lies a secret of truth, and all shall flow within the walls of My beloved secret. Your loving Lord, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns in the Kingdom of God. Do not allow Satan to grab hold, but instead be strong, for I am there with you forever and ever."

Salvation through faith in Jesus Christ alone!
I believe the reason many of us are not saved today is because many do not understand how easy it is to ask Jesus into our lives, or the importance of doing so. Before I met the Lord, to be saved meant going to church every Sunday and obeying all the do's and don't's of the congregational rules. However, like me and others who meet Jesus, we surprisingly find out it's not the way to get to heaven! Even more surprising, we find out man's rules have nothing to do with salvation-meeting Jesus Christ inside of our own heart! In fact, I believe it is their rules and regulations that hinder many of us from finding Jesus-or Jesus finding us!
One day a Christian counselor explained to me the relationship God restores with His children through acceptance of His Son, Jesus Christ. She said, "Way back when Adam and Eve disobeyed God and sinned in the Garden of Eden, they broke the natural bond that God had meant for all of us to have with Him all this time. However, when we receive Jesus Christ into our lives personally, God restores this love relationship with His children right here on earth the way He always had meant for it to be long ago!"
I found out that Jesus does restore our relationship with the Father right here on earth! In fact, I can remember how Jesus one day introduced me spiritually to the Father. (I can't explain this one! However, I did find out later that this is scriptural. See Luke 10:22.) Somehow, a whole new world existed right before me that I never knew about before. Suddenly I became very aware of a real God that cared for me. He even wanted to use me in sharing His truth, even though I had a hard time understanding why. I certainly didn't fit the mold of most people I felt God used or could use, for I was not very bold, I didn't know the Word of God that well yet, I was terrible at attending church every Sunday, I still had many areas in my life that needed cleaning up, and I especially didn't fill any (educational) credentials required from most churches to teach the things of God. However, when it came to my heart, I was truly in love with Jesus. And if He felt He could do something good with me, I let Him know He could use me anyway He wanted!

A family covenant with a personal God
While God was dealing with me and my family all this time, He was also revealing Himself to my mother, sisters and brothers. He seemed to take us into the palms of His hands and watch over us as His little children. He began to deal with our hearts in the most supernatural ways, and made it clear to us the importance of a clean heart. He showed us how He deals with each individual heart, and how it was our job to keep our own eyes on Him-and not on (the faults and teachings of) everyone else. God began to reveal to us, as well, how differently He operated than to what we were used to in the world. He began to show us how to notice the priorities of Him and His Word, and how we could easily be pulled off His path and protection by not listening to Him. And though He dealt with us in love, He also had His time of discipline and scolding. We always found out later that He was doing so for our own good. We began to realize that God the Father wants to actually be our father, and that He tends over His children as most fathers would their own. But, to actually have God do this was an awesome experience for all of us...though we failed many tests of faith and obedience.
The Lord told me once, "Man makes it too hard for people to come to Me," and I totally agreed! After I experienced a personal relationship with the Lord, I threw all my religion out the window and found out for myself that God is definitely real and a God of love. But, I also found out that with that love comes discipline. Unfortunately, we were a family with much pride. We were also very stubborn. As a father would deal with his own children firmly, so does God our Father-and we were beginning to find out just how firm a hand God really has! However, in our hearts we were also beginning to find out how much God really loves us, no matter how stubborn or unruly we were. Experiencing this kind of love from God only drew us closer to Him! And it always amazed us to find out that all God wants is our heart, love and obedience.
God became a personal God to many of us. Many of the messages were also so personal, and this made it very hard for me to believe that this was really the Lord. But, after I got to know Him more each day, I found out that He does deal with His children personally. In fact, He is known as a personal God throughout the Bible. Although I, like many, considered myself a Christian, I was beginning to find out I knew nothing about what being a Christian really meant. I knew nothing about a personal God that truly does live today for me. And I often wondered what would have happened to me if I had died before I had asked Jesus into my own heart and experienced Him the way I did. God became a personal God to many in the family. And as we shared our experiences with others, we began to see the power of God work in many lives. It was the awesome power and love of God that caught our attention-and the attention of many hearts around us!
Before Jesus Christ came into our lives, we were a mess! (And we went to church every Sunday!) However, now we are learning how to take it one day at a time, for the Lord still has many areas in our lives to work with. As Paul says, in Philippians 2:12, "We are learning how to work out our salvation with Jesus Christ." Give the Lord your heart and let Him work with you there. Remember how important the condition of your heart is to God. Be honest with God and talk to Him about everything (even if you have to yell at first)! For the Lord told me once, "All it takes is an instant to be saved-but healing of the heart takes time."
There are many who say they are Christians. However, until you ask Jesus into your heart and receive the Holy Spirit, you only have religion-not a relationship with Jesus Christ. Like Nicodemus in the Bible (John 3), Jesus wants to show you that you must be born again to see the Kingdom of God. Because the world cannot see the things of God without His Holy Spirit revealing it to you, you must receive the new birth that only comes when God's Spirit comes to live in you. And this happens when you make a personal choice to ask Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior, and ask God to fill you with His Spirit. Know that without His Spirit, the mysteries of God are hidden from you. Know that they will always be hidden from you until you receive from heaven the only Spirit God gives to those who ask. In fact, Jesus went back to be with the Father so that He could send us the Holy Spirit to be our Helper and Comforter. That's how important it is to Jesus and the Father that we be filled with the Holy Spirit! (John 16:7)
We began to realize that when someone in a family gives their heart and life to the Lord, God honors this and will build a covenant (a spiritual agreement) with the whole family. (See Acts 16:31) We began to pray for salvation for other family members who had not yet received Jesus into their hearts. To this day, we are still watching God gradually turn hearts to Him for salvation-one by one!
As far as church attendance goes, some of the family members have found a local church that preaches the truth of God and is led of the Holy Spirit, and some of us are still looking. However, we now know our salvation is not based on church attendance or membership, in our traditions, or in anything we attempt to accomplish ourselves-but in our faith in Jesus Christ as our personal Savior.
We have also learned that God comes into the home and begins His work inside of each heart-and that each heart grows at different rates and in different areas. And as we grow in God's Word and love, then we are able to share the reality of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit with others in the world...both inside and outside of the church building.

Salvation is a choice you make...
God has set before you a Savior...Jesus Christ! Now it's up to you to make the choice to accept Him or reject Him! But know this: God didn't send Jesus to judge the world, but to save it! (John 3:17) Likewise, Jesus didn't come to call the righteous, but sinners! (Mark 2:17) In other words, salvation will not come for those who feel they don't need a Savior, but only for those who know they do! Jesus died on the cross for your sins; and He turns no one away who turns to Him for salvation! Salvation is a spiritual agreement God comes and makes with you, which says: If you know that you are a sinner, and you receive My Son into your heart, know that your sins are forgiven!...And you will go to heaven when you die!
If there is someone that feels there is no hope for you or your loved ones, there is hope in Jesus Christ and the Father! God wants to come into your heart and save you. He can begin a supernatural change in the hearts and lives of many-no matter how impossible your problems or needs are. Let God begin the change by beginning with you! Ask Jesus Christ into your heart and home today.

"...for whoever will call upon the name of the Lord will be saved." ( Romans 10:13)


Near-death experiences with heaven and hell!
I actually became startled when I first found out how real Jesus Christ is! The haunting question of "What  would have happened to me if I had died before I became born again?" still shakes me up whenever I think about it. So, when it comes to SALVATION...I don't want to tell someone only what they want to hear, but really prepare them for the day when they will die. And though it's God judgment call on what will happen to each one of us, the Bible says that "YOU CAN KNOW THAT YOU ARE SAVED"! In Philippians 4:3, the Apostle Paul mentions "the book of life." Make sure your name is in it! (See Luke 10:20) Jesus said, in John 10:9, "I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he shall be saved..." I strongly recommend that everyone enter through the Narrow Door by receiving Jesus into their heart today! But for those who still refuse to receive Jesus Christ...One day, you, too, will die. And this story is for you:

There were some unbelievers who had a near death experience. They recalled falling down a long, dark tunnel to hell. Some recalled demons grabbing onto their ankles and actually dragging them down this long, dark tunnel; some said demons ripped at their flesh, as they screamed in agony! When they called on Jesus to save them, they started to ascend toward a bright light. When they gladly found themselves back in their bodies, they were changed people for God!

Many have had near-death experiences. Those who were saved had pleasant stories to tell about God and heaven, while those who were not had terrifying experiences with demons and flames of hell!

Don't gamble with God! Get saved today!
Receive Jesus Christ into your life...and live for Him!
ONE FINAL NOTE: You may say that you already believe. If so, then take one more step and personally ask Jesus Christ into your heart as your Lord and Savior, if you have not done so already. I know that a personal confession made all the difference for me!  AGAIN, SEE ROMANS 10:9-10.


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