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The Newsletters (The Oath: This section contains the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth.......almost always) Edition-3 (March 2000) Ha! Ha!! So you thought
that you seened last of us! But no ya.. we will be continuoused our
propositions, compositions, depositions, appositions and suppositions (last
one not to be confuse with suppository as cause for this verbal diarrhoea).
E-MAIL:
CELLPHONE:
LANGUAGE: End of page….but not end of us….
Edition-2(November 1999) Joyful greetings to you all once more again. We are happy to inform you that we are back in the action again with more dhum and direct dil se. We are felt good that last newsletter was greeted with smiling faces, only complaint was language problem due to bad english. Thousand apologies for the same. We have done level best to rectify error by readinf cover to cover –Rapidex- Learn English in 30 Days as advertised by Kapil Dev. This has been main culprit for delay in 2nd explosive edition. Many sorries that our’s english is not still 100% perfect yet now. You may be found 1 or 2 small errors. Kindly adjust. Actually we must be accepted that we have literically no news. But then ‘No News is Good News’- good no?! So again we are putting together propositions, suppositions, compositions, impositions, depositions for your pleasure purely to be splitting your sides by guffawing loudly on our sensation od humour. (Kindly note ours perusal of new words/expressions/similes/etc. which we have picked up newly. Please…. No need to admire our humble efforts. It is OK..) This time we are concentrating mainly in action packed labour room. Ours bushy hero Marky Mark is kicking off newsletter on good note. He is as usual hardly endeavouring to keep in good touch with sisters. Trying to use final year labour room posting as base, he is approached one sister(who is incidently looking not bad) & telling her with 1000W smile on face. “Hello sister!How are you? Don’t tell me you have forgotten me because 1 year has passed away, I still remember you….etc..”. Our timid looking sister has given sweet smile & saided politely,”But… I have joined only 3 months ago!” thereby dashed all our hero’s hope of good intro. Anyway, better luck next times. You must have noticed that main sound is coming from labour room saying mukku mukku and even bigger sound of lady shouting many things. But biggest sound recorded is Prabu excitingly screaming ‘Please Ma!!’ when he is being deliverer. GSK Reddy is experienced person and may be contacted for the following: - art of giving perineal support - art of suturing episiotomy - necessity of doing PR after epi suturing Many brave deeds have been committed in CHAD labour room these days. Heroic deed has been didded by above mentioned hero Prabu. He has successfully putted forceps in cardiac mother to cut short 2nd stage with no registrar there! Baby comed out OK- in face to pubis position! Congratulations! Question remains- is Prabu better at putting forceps or putting kai. There was look of surprise and disbelief on face of interns when Dr. Anand strolled into KLR one fine day. They were wondering, how come so quick. But relaxation came when news came that he came for consult or something. Mathew has broked many records in KLR. He taked upto 4 hrs to suture epi! On one such like occaions he is putting last skin suture meticulately when Dr. Annie calmly sayed-“You may now remove 1st suture as it has healed by now!”. Mathew has replyed with gusto-“This is a work of art”.(Ding! Dong!! Everybody Enjoy!!!) Question(quickie): Why doesn’t Mathew eat or drink anything in KLR? Answer(quickier!): Because there are bits of placenta floating in air getting stuck to food!! (Dinger Donger!! Everybody enjoyer!!) – PS: Wrong English used deliberately for making funnier we hopes. Ha! Ha!! Ha!!! We must of course not forget to mention deadliest statement of the millenium by one and only Benna Koshy. “I would like to have one set of twin girls, but I do not want to marry”. At this time we can quote a quotable quote quoted often, ‘The Ends do not Justify the Means’ or something like that! Well that is as much the news having occurred in recent times. Of course there be some action outside labour but we will reveal details at later dates. On backside of this letter we have some exciting delivery notes. Kindly read! No more gas available on this page and henceforth we shall close on sobre note. Lots of love and Kisses --The Board— Enjoy! We are lke this only!! Some interesting notes about the deliveries of the inmates of the batch of 1994. · Jennifer Jeba was footlinged at birth. She delivered with a strong kick. · Praburam was toothling presentation. Teeth came out first and he is now attempted to put back in with brace. · Mathew it is suspect was nosling presentation with bug caput of presenting part. · For Reddy he himself do ARM by bursting small bomb inside mothers womb. Liqor was Gr II gunpowder stained. · In Benji’s case liqor was Gr IV meconium stained with bubbles, due to him bullshitting and gassing even while inside. · Pradipta third stage was slightly complicated but finally Harrison and its covers were expelled in toto by MBA. · Pradeep delivery was normally. But when given oral suction he is blowed the tube and created noise-like trumpet. · First thing Gina did after head came out was to open umbrella to protect complexion ?? · Hepsiba born normally too. As soon as she head popped out, she turned cheerily to doctor and said.”What’s up doc?!” · Our star of this letter Praburam had
Apgar score 10 and 11 at birth. This is owing to reason – he did not cry
at birth but laughed loudly.
Edition-1(September 1999) So what ya? Life is boring ah?! So we are putting together one edition of nice newsletter for the sake of your enjoyment and pleasureness. You must be thanks to the Almighty for such time of joyfulness. You must have all be out of the touch with the class matters. Well, we are too like that only but we are now putting some suppositions, propositions and compositions to increase your tachycardia pumping and causing some jinglings. Nice of us no!! First of all we must be congratulating Mr. Pichax who was surprised one and all by winning hearts of many and also Dr. Thomas Sen Bhanu prize for MHU. Although he not say many words on happy occasion, his eyes have shined like psychedelic lights at magic moment. Now he has long name in white block letters on brown wooden board in Men’s Hostel mess for all to see and enjoy. Pradipta is indeed been (s)elected for some post in some junior board. Too much ya!. She is will have nice time we pray and talk couragedly for our rights. Ninan bhai is now dreaming oF Bacca service only during daytime and nighttime and is fervoured to teach all parts to all persons always at all places. May his voice rest in peace. He is ably guided by Ivan sahib who is staying with Banerji occasionally. Benji is in meantime no longer Vice-President after fiery speech at handing over time. Stripped(of his post) after one longish year of jobless cobblerness, he is now having no reason to be talked by batch of 1998. One full year and unfortunatedly nothing permanent has been developed for our poor bony one who is now runned out of steam and gas. At this moment of happy smiling, we must not forgot to be saying congrats to our beloved friends Ige and JenChris who have been joined by their siblings at premier medical institution in Asia! They will now be tried hard to lead quieter lives for avoiding hungamma at respective houses if any news leaks. Shantha is now wedded girl and has put on fatty weight on cheek, etc. Her spouse’s broad shoulders are becoming lesser now as she is been forced beloved one to consume meals often at MIQ . She is now also getting joyrides freely in 100cc bike that tilts on backside when she places her own weight on pillion. Moral of story is- Marry male with Royal Enfield 350cc bike only. Annie is on brink of hysterical historical moment of her life story and she too is soon to be a married intern. However, her holiday is in great confusion. Susan Mary George lady has returned from sabbatical posting and is presently intern with fourth call bleep at medical departmental. Also more Betadine bottles are been ordered for the perusal by our own Mathew Cherian who is wearing deadly glasses on deadly nose! By the by, Korula is now found to be lose some many body kilograms in last half year or so. It is unknowing if inspiration for above is roommate or some other mate. He is now spent plenty time to advising many females on how to do same thing. May he be successed!! Our lovable friend Justin has lost cycle at Chad. Finder can keep two-wheeler for self usage. Anita is becoming goodly dancer and stepping on all co-intern’s feets with vigour. It is with sad in heart that it must be mentioninged at this grave time that Batch yearbook is been scrapped because of reason of very poor response to one year of CPR protocol. We are hoping to do same at the timing of our joyful reunion one quarter of a century at next alumni meeting in the next millennium. Please, one of you marry rich spouse to get many money for being able to print nice looking yearbook that will be filled with memories and moments of our exciting student lifes. Parting message for good life - HIV IS SPREADABLE BY EVEN ONE SINGLE NEEDLESTICK! HENCE WEAR CONDOM WHEN TAKING EVEN ONE SMALL BLOOD SAMPLE ALSO!! That is all for time being. We will now stopped talking as paper is over. Thanks to you for patiently being listened to our heart felt message that was done for your excitement purely. With Love - ….. THE BOARD….. ENJOY! WE ARE LIKE THIS ONLY!! PS:- Sincere apologies for the bad language. Our’s English is not very perfect as yet still. We will be better luck next time. Promise! Do not miss next exciting edition of newsletter! IN CAMPUS! AND ON YOUR FACE!! © The Truth in Black and White series
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