Tia is one of our most beloved members. She has such an eloquent way of writing her posts, you are hooked from beginning to end! |
Here are some selected favorite posts of hers: | "Raving about God" "A story of Faith" "Tia on Marriage" "More on Marriage"
"Raving About God" ....I knew if I needed to rave about God, this is the place to come. Many of you know that I was considering homeschooling my 2nd son, Nate, (turned 8 today!), this coming school year. He's just had a terrible time of it the past few years in school and his self-confidence is nil. I had my concerns about doing this, tho I knew it was the right thing to do. #1 I think Nate might have a learning disability. If I take him out of public school, then they don't have to test him. I can't afford to pay for the testing myself. If I leave him in to get tested by law they have 6 months to test him from the day that I request it. Results take another 30 days to get. That would mean another school year of frustration and blows to his self-esteem just to find out if there is a problem, they won't really implement any solutions until the next year. #2 social. I know, I know, it's a myth and no, I don't buy it. My problem is, however, that I don't have a whole lot of hs friends and I am a little concerned that he might get bored. Also, since the self-esteem problem has made him a little frantic in social situations, I didn't want to isolate him further from kids out of concern that that situation could worsen. #3 what if I do discover a problem. How will I fix it? The few hs friends I do have are dealing with little geniuses and have no clue how to work with a child with problems. #4 money. Curriculuum costs. This is the Summer of extraordinary expenses. $4000 braces, a $2800 car repair, Ryan is working his tail off 70-80 hrs/wk to pay for these and the other things. I can hardly see myself asking him to work more to pay for books. So I plopped this all down at God's feet. These, to me, were major obstacles that I could see no solution to. BUT, if someone could fix it, that someone would be my Father so I gave it to him. And you won't believe what he did! Now, this may be controversial as far as traditional hsers are concerned, but it's perfect for us. After laying this at God's feet, I received a flyer in the mail for Connections Academy, a new charter school coming to Florida. They've been in some other states for years. It's run like a public school with public funding so it's completely free, but it is a "School without walls". You teach your child at home. The year starts out with individualized testing. They specialize in kids who are either ahead or behind. With the results of the testing in hand, a teacher looks over the required curriculuum and comes up with a game plan specifically for your child. They use a child's strengths to help teach them. If a child is not good at art, they just do the basic stuff. If a child is good at art, (my Nate's forte), they delve in and use art to teach the other subjects as much as possible. So he would get his testing. They have Community Coordinators who organize field trips for all CA students in your area. They do the "normal" type field trips, museums, parks, etc, and also some that schools couldn't do, like art fairs and theater events that happen at night. Nate can be involved with other kids socially. A teacher would be assigned to Nate. The ratio is 33:1, much like in public schools. They do the lesson plans and meet face to face with the parent 4 times/yr. You also have the teachers email address so that you can communicate regularly. You submit tests, etc online for the teacher to review and if they see a problem, they can give you pointers to help you help your child. So if I have a problem, I have someone to consult with who knows Nate, knows his test scores, his strengths and weaknesses. And this part just floors me: it's free. In September, after testing and making goals etc for the year, your curriculuum is sent to you. I was able to review the curriculuum and it seems great. You are encouraged to add to it if you want to and while it is not a faith based curriculuum, you can certainly add those dimensions to it. You are not required to teach anything that conflicts with your faith. And they give you a monthly stipend for internet access, so actually I'll lose a bill every month, not a big one, but hey, I'll take it! I am in awe at how specifically each of my 4 concerns were addressed. It seems too good to be true! They are able to take 1,000 students this year. The only barrier remaining is final approval by the state of Florida. That makes me a little nervous! I go to an informational meeting on Aug. 5th at 6:30. So it is my prayer that this final barrier be removed so that Nate and I can proceed. Can you believe how awesome God is? This thing has been in the works for a long time, long before I even imagined I'd need it. Then last week I plop it at God's feet and w/in days the flyer comes in the mail! I can't believe it! My God is awesome! Thanks for all the prayers, I can't wait to see how this all plays out! Tia back top
A story of Faith: A long time ago, Ryan and I were sitting and contemplating a financial decision. We felt we had known what God wanted us to do, but now that we were at the jumping off point, we had become frightened. As we sat together at the table, I heard this word repeatedly in my mind "Jump, jump, jump." I finally said, "Ryan, I don't know what exactly this means, but here is what I'm hearing." As soon as I said this I got a picture in my mind of Ryan and I standing in a gray, colorless place. As we jumped, we jumped into complete darkness. We fell for quite some time, I wasn't sure how long, but when we landed, we landed in a green, grassy, flowery field, sunlight shining, puffy white clouds drifting lazily by. And when we landed, we landed together, hand in hand. I shared that w/ Ryan as well. We decided to jump. We decided other things too, such as what exactly that green place was. We decided that was the place we'd be when Ryan got the promotion we needed, our debt was paid off, etc. Months of struggle went by. As we struggled we grew closer, to each other and to God. We daily depended on him. One day as I was driving to meet w/ some friends for a bible study I was leading I was thinking about that green place and it was as if God spoke: "You're in the green place." That couldn't be, I reasoned. Ryan hadn't gotten the promotion. We were still in debt. This could not be the green place. "I never said that was the green place." was God's reply. See, we were the ones who said that. It made sense. But God wasn't talking about our physical circumstances, he wanted so much more than that for us. "You've learned to depend on me. You've learned that true joy does not depend on your outward circumstances, but on your proximity to me. It's green here." I was amazed. We had arrived. I try to stay in that green place, it's always my choice. I can run back to the land of "do-it- yourself" despair, or I can stay in the land of "Oh God I'm Hanging On To You For Dear Life" joy. At times it's a fight to stay. But I fight on. The promotion, long overdue, still has not come. The debt still looms, in fact, in spite of rigorous efforts, it has not diminished. We haven't gotten any new debt in 2 yrs and yet it remains the same. Ryan wants to file bankruptcy, has for awhile. We're waiting for complete peace. But it's awfully green here. I love my husband more today than yesterday. I love my God more than words can express. And he is faithful, in the gray and the green, to keep us safe, guide our steps, and draw us closer to him. And he is the God of all comfort and the giver of the peace that passes all understanding. I couldn't be in better hands, neither could you. 1/03 back top
"Tia on marriage" You can't change him. God can. Hold on though, the ride might not be what you expect, but it will be well worth it in the end. My aunt and uncle have been married for 30 yrs and she insists that her refusal to try to control the marriage is the main contributor to their success. She has a saying I absolutely love: Your husband is the head of the house and you are right under him which makes you the neck. And let's never forget, it is the neck that moves the head. I asked her one time how the neck goes about moving the head. It is through the strength of the muscles in the neck that the head is moved, muscles that are developed over time, from a point in infancy when they can't even lift the head, to the point in adulthood where they are the support of the head. The main muscle there does not represent tantrums or physical strength. The main muscle that must be excercised most by the neck of the household is prayer. Excercise that muscle daily and before long, the head will be moved and you will be the heads support. And so I encourage you to learn to be the best neck of your family that you can dream of being, excercise that muscle daily and lift the head up in prayer. Tia back top
"More on Marriage" I got this at the ladies bible study I attend. This is not a study I lead, this is one I attend and while technically I am in charge of all women's ministry leaders at my church, I am not in charge of the actual study, this is where I go to be a member, to participate and learn. Ellen, a very wise woman at our group, shared what she and her dh were told by their pre-marital couselor before they married. The husband is the president of the marriage, the wife is the vice-president. God is the CEO, the owner. If the president of a company isn't doing his job, the vice president doesn't go to him and nag him about doing his job, the VP goes directly to the CEO. That is one of our roles as the VP of our marriages, to go directly to God. I think it important to note that not only is it important to go to God w/ the problems in the marriage, I find it equally important to go to God with the successes too. For the successes, a VP would also go to the president of the co, to compliment him. I actually tried this recently w/out knowing the analogy here. I shared a while back how blessed I felt when I would wake up at 4:30 am and see dh at the table studying the bible. I also thanked God for this, this is real growth for my dh! A few days ago I told dh that I saw this and how much it blessed me. You should have seen the look on his face! He was so blessed to hear that I was so blessed! What a wonderful position we have as wives! How many opportunities do we have on a daily basis to compliment our husbands on their actions and decisions? Tia back top