This is the fabulous praise that came out of a heart wrenching trial Holly had recently went through in the beginning of 2003!: Did you all know this already?? LOL! What have I been missing?? Did you all know that Jesus is the prince of peace? That with him I shall not fear? That Satan trys to use fears in my life to take away from the joy and blessings our Lord wants me to recieve? That he tried to use the miscarriage to make me doubt the Lord's love for me? Did you all know this baby who I miscarried showed me so much about love and life in such a short time and that it was a gift from the Lord? Satan tried so hard to use it to suffocate me in pain and doubt in the Lord, and to make me turn away from God. To say "WHY ME"? and not "THANK YOU God for showing me your love and giving me strength at this time". That Jesus wants me to be happy and not live in fear and that faith is the ONLY antidote for fear? That I can actually CHOOSE to fellowship with God and not my fears/problems in life? Fear not;stand still and see the salvation of the Lord which He will work for you today. Exodus 14:13 That God has promised to strengthen us? To make us strong against the enemy? WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOW! I just didn't know how powerful these words were and what the promises were until I opened the Bible up after all this in my life these past few weeks and started searching out the answers. If Max gets deployed, I will not fear , I will not fear, I will not fear..Satan wants to rob me of joy and wants to shout in my ear "Something bad may happen to Max", "You can't handle it alone with 3 little ones", "You will have a HARD time"...Well guess what? I MAY have a hard time, but with God on my side I turn a deaf ear to Satan and hold on tightly to Jesus. If I get pregnant again this year, that I will not fear the beginning of it, that I will hold stead fast onto what God's plan is for us and that new baby. I will look to Jesus for peace and clarity and tell Satan that he is rebuked in Jesus's precious name. PTL! PTL! PTL! I just didn't know all this, or maybe I did but it just didn't sink in yet.. PTL! PTL! Holly & Girls