This is Tia's testimony, posted in December, 2001: Sorry I missed the first thread! I just get so busy around here at this time of year! I'm condensing this as much as possible, there's so much I've already shared... I was born in 1973, which makes me 28 yrs old. I am the baby of 2, I have an older brother. My parents were involved in politics, some of my earliest memories are of the Minnesota State Capitol Building. I had a pretty normal childhood. We were involved in some REALLY legalistic churches. I did get a lot of the basics down there. They really drilled bible knowledge in, now I am reaping the benefits of that. As I was growing up I became restless in my religion. I began seeing all of the negatives, the "you can't do this" and the "you can't do that" 's seemed to outweigh what we could do. I don't think anyone ever mentioned the freedom we have in Christ, it seemed a lot more like bondage to me. When I was in highschool I began having serious doubts. I began questioning why I believed what I did, and did I actually believe what I said I believed, was any of it true. I came to the realization that I did not believe anything based on personal experience, it was all based on what everyone else believed and told me to believe. When I was 15 I made a conscious decision to walk away from Christ. I began having sex with my boyfriend. By 16 I was using drugs and drinking in excess. I had gone from dream child to nightmare child in a matter of months. My entire friend group changed. I began attempting suicide. I felt hollow, empty. Several times I cried out to God to help me, but he did not help me the way I thought he should and so I decided that he had not helped me at all. I then went further and decided that he in fact did not exist. My parents were blown away at the dramatic transformation. I ran away often, I lived on the streets rather than live with my parents. I began dating a 26 yr old biker, the complete antithesis of what my parents had had in mind for me, and soon decided to move in with him. My parents tried a lot of different things to get me to come back to God. They begged, pleaded, grounded, hit, slapped, punched, fought, had me arrested, placed in foster care, placed on probation, placed in psychiatric facilities, placed in treatment programs, moved me in with relatives, locked me in the house, moved me in with our assistant pastor, the list goes on. There was nothing they could do to get me back to God. Finally, they relented when I was 17 and quit fighting me about living out side of the home. They were going crazy trying to keep me there. 4 mo after moving in w/ my 26 yr old boyfriend the final time, I became pregnant. I was sure that Joe would marry me. I was sure that he would love me forever and fulfill my every need. I would be a mom and a wife. He would work and come home every day. Maybe we'd even attend church on holidays. Maybe there was a God? Maybe not, I wasn't going to worry about these things, it didn't directly affect my life anyways, right? Joe was not thrilled with the pregnancy. Neither of us planned the pregnancy, but he was sure it was a plot to trap him. He said I could adopt the baby out or have an abortion, those were my choices, but if I wanted to stay w/ him, I had to choose one of those. I spent 2 yrs fighting to get out of my parents house. The day before I turned 18 and could have finally legally moved out, I moved back in. I chose to keep the baby, Joe chose not to. We ended up moving to Florida and God revealed himself to me through the birth of my son. At 4 mo along they told me I was having a girl. I never considered boy names seriously. We lived on Sanibel Island which was 1 hr away from the closest hospital. On the 3rd trip into the hospital during my 41 hr labor I tried to bargain w/ God. I told him, ok, you exist, but I'm not defining you. If you let me be admitted this time I promise to take my child to church every Sunday for the rest of his life. They sent me home. Great, I thought, God doesn't want me anymore. The next time in they admitted me, but it would be about another 15 hrs without any medications until I finally delivered my 9lb 10oz son. When he was born they held him up and said "It's a boy! What's his name?" and out flew the name "Joel". I had no idea where that came from, what I knew was that there was a presence there. That I felt no longer lonely, that "thing" I had been searching for felt within reach, I can't really describe it. A few days later I went with my parents to their church in search of this "presence" It was there that a lady revealed to me that my son's name means Jehovah is God. I felt His presence all around me. I couldn't fight it anymore. I surrendered. God revealed himself through the name of my son. He also revealed things about his character. My God is not a God of deals. I don't have a rabbit's foot redeemer. His name is not Monty Hall. There was 1 deal 1 time 1 cross 1 empty grave. That's the deal, and that was the time for me. God also is always present. God will pursue lost sheep. Once you're marked you might as well surrender. God never gives up. He loves us too much. There was much more I learned then and God continues to reveal. God brought a wonderful man into my life 2 yrs later who adopted my son and we have since had 3 more children. Joel is 10 now, Nathan (means gift) 6, Jeremiah, (The Lord will provide), 4, and Sarah (princess) 2. Every name has a story behind it. We attend the Vineyard Community Church of Cape Coral where my husband and I are both blessed and humbled to hold leadership positions. I feel a definite call upon my life that is strengthened everyday. I am learning to rely less on me and more on God. I am learning to use the gifts that he has given me to glorify him. I don't regret anything about my past. Not regretting is different from "if you had it to do over again would you do anything differently". Of course I'd do things differently if I knew then what I know now, but knowing I can't change the past I don't waste energy in regretting it. I am so grateful that God works all things together for good to those that love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. I marvel daily at how he has shown his strength through my weaknesses. There's a lot more to say. God is always moving, always working. The christian life truly is an adventure. After I gave my life to Christ following the birth of my son God gave me this promise Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord "Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Everything looked bleak for awhile for me. I spent a good amount of time as a junkie and a drunk, a homeless teen that wasn't worth anyone's time. Today I have been redeemed and God tells me I was worth leaving heaven and dying for. The future is bright and all things are possible. God has fulfilled, and is continuing to fulfill, his promise to me. Amazing. So, that's the skinny, I think. Thanks for reading if you got this far! Tia