Susie shared her testimony with us at our 100th board "birthday party" on Feb. 15, 2002: John 3:16 tells us that "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." I had heard that verse several times, but could never really grasp the depth of God's love. I had heard God's love compared to an earthly father's love, only on a much grander scale. This really confused me, because my dad had many problems, including alcoholism. I remember as a young child, my dad would become disenchanted with our living situation, and go live in another state for months at a time, leaving my mother on her own to care for their four children. (I am the youngest of the four.) After 29 years of marriage, my parents divorced. About four years after Dad left, when I was 14, I began to see a drastic change in my oldest brother. He was no longer angry at the world and had a peace about him. I was fascinated in his change in behavior. I asked him what made the change and he told me that he had asked Jesus into his heart. I immediately asked how to do that, because I wanted whatever had changed him. In the living room of our home, my brother led me in prayer and I asked Jesus Christ into my heart. Approximately two months later, my dad took his own life. I learned the hard way, the fact that you can be a Christian, but unless you have friendships with other Christians and read the Bible daily, you are not going to grow in your faith. Just as a plant dies without water, you will die without this. My Mom thought that "all that Christian stuff" was fine, but I had to keep attending the church of her choice, even though she did not attend. This church had no youth programs or Bible studies. When my brother married, my major source of growth and support was no longer with me. When I started High School I was on pretty shaky ground. I knew God was with me, but I was afraid that He would leave me. It seemed that when I loved someone, they would leave me, because my Dad always left and then he died. Then my brother left me when he got married. I was just so unsure of my faith and myself. Then I met this young man, who was extremely popular and very good looking. Then the most amazing thing happened, he asked ME out. We had a lot in common, including our fathers dying within months of each other. We would talk for hours. I knew he wasn't a Christian, but I thought that I might be able to introduce him to Jesus and everything would work out. We became quite serious in our dating relationship and even talked about marriage once we graduated from high school. He filled such a void in my life that I didn't even realize I was putting God on the back burner. He was everything to me. We had many common interests and had similar home life experiences. I was young and in love, and I would have done anything for this young man. As a result, I became pregnant. When I told him, he became scared and broke off the relationship. So I kept the pregnancy a secret for five months. I'd made a poor choice of having sex before marriage. I didn't want to follow one bad choice by making another, a choice that the world would have easily accepted and expected of a girl in my situation. In my heart I knew I could never have an abortion and I wanted to make sure it was too late for one in case someone would try and suggest it. I was also afraid that when people found out, they would reject me as my boyfriend had done. Well, both things happened. His mother wanted me to have an abortion. And... many people, including members of my own family, rejected me. I would walk into a room and as soon as they saw me, they would walk out. I was scorned by many of the kids who I went to school with and had called friends. I felt very abandoned and alone. When my family figured out what happened, they called a family meeting to decide what to do about "Susie's Situation". Marriage, raising the child alone, and adoption were all discussed. Each choice was carefully weighed and measured. My brother really was there for me. He brought over the pastor of his church who offered counseling, guidance, and prayer. After discussing all the options, I felt that God was telling me to give up the baby for adoption. I knew that I couldn't raise the child on my own. My Mom had already raised four kids, and she didn't need to raise mine too. I knew what it was like to grow up without a father, I didn't want that for my baby. But most of all, I wanted to give my child something that I never had... and that was two Christian parents. The pastor found an adoption agency about 30 miles away that could guarentee just that. They also provided Bible based counseling for both the Birthparents and the Adoptive parents. My brother's church even paid all the legal fees out of their benevolent fund. I had never seen such kindness before. The pastor said that it was all part of God's love. On May 24, 1980, I gave birth to a 7 pound 3 ounce little girl. I named her Elizabeth Marie, but always thought of her as Beth. Three weeks later, I was in a courtroom, testifying under oath, why I wanted to give up my parental rights. Giving up Beth for adoption is the hardest thing I have EVER faced in my life. But I really felt that I was following what God wanted me to do. After the court hearing, I was all alone in my room. I cried out to God in hurt and anger. If I was doing His will, how come it hurt so bad? And then in exasperation I screamed at the ceiling. "Oh what do You know about giving up a child!!!" It was at that point that I realized the extent of God's love. He did know the pain I was experiencing. He gave up His Son, to die, because He loved me. Even though I had asked Jesus into my heart three years before, it wasn't until that moment that I really became aware of what it meant to be a Christian. I finally understood what God's love was all about. From that time on, my faith grew. But I always had a hole in my heart that could not be filled. I have prayed for her every day of her life, and for her parents, for their wisdom and their love in raising this precious gift from above. Years later, God blessed me with a wonderful husband, who knew all about my past, and loved me anyway. When Taryl and I decided we wanted to increase the size of our family, we had problems. I went to three different specialists who said that because of my problems, I never should have become pregnant as a teenager. Those words made me realize the miracle of life that God had created in Beth. God also created three more miracles in my life; their names are Eryn, Dayna, and Conor. But my story doesn't end there. Almost three years ago, at 10:00 at night I received a telephone call. The woman on the other end of the line knew my name, my maiden name, and my birth date. After she comfirmed these with me, she asked me if I had had a child on May 24, 1980. Before she could completely state her question, I just started to say, "Beth, Beth!!" Then she informed me that she was a court mediator, and her client had petitioned the court to open her adoption records and wanted to meet her birth mother, whom they believed to be me. Would I be willing to meet her? Before I gave my answer, I asked whether or not her mother was supportive of this reunion. When I found out she was, I said, "Let's do it." It took a few weeks for all the paperwork to be completed and for another court hearing to open the records. Finally the day came. I recieved a call from the court mediator saying that she had just come back from court, and I should hear from her client after she got home from work, around 6:00 her time, which would be 8:00 my time. I figured I had all afternoon to decide what I would say to her for the very first time. I wanted to make a good impression. Never did I expect it to be her when the phone rang a few hours later. I said, "Hello". On the other end I hear, "Hi, it's Kristy." In my head I am thinking, Kristy? Who in the world do I know named Kristy? Then it dawned on me, Kristy is Beth! I gasped, and my first words to her, EVER, were, "Kristy, your name is Kristy?" So much for making a good first impression! I learned that day that she has wonderful parents. They are both believers. They had wanted children very badly and were unable to conceive. They had prayed that God would bring them a child and she was their answer to prayer. Kristy accepted Christ when she was not quite four years old. Since meeting Kristy, our relationship has grown. She now understands that I did not give her up for adoption because I did not love her or want her. I did it because I loved her so very much and wanted to give her a better life than what I could have provided for her. Kristy and I talk almost every day by using emails or instant messaging on the computer. We have visited each others homes. In fact, she just left here yesterday after spending a week with us. My kids call her their sister. Her Mom refers to me as Kristy's Birthmom and introduces me as such. Her Mom and I have become very close friends. We have two common bonds, a love for Kristy, and a love for Christ. And the Lord, who I thought couldn't bless me more, has given Kristy the ability to reunite with her Birthfather. Reconcilation and healing are occuring there. Kristy asked me once if I regretted the choice I made. I told her I regretted all the pain that I caused, but I NEVER regretted her. I was so thankful to God for bringing her into this world and for giving her a wonderful life. Thank you for taking the time to read this through. - Susie