(reading the label of a "Lunchable")
"'Mechanically separated turkey...'" -Kristen
"Mechanically separated from what???" -Beth
"Chemistry is not something that you can memorize
and just forget, it keeps coming back." -Mrs. Anthony
"Like a zombie!" -Me
"Yeah, it's like 'Night of the living dead'!" -John S.
"It's always horrible!" -Me
"Precious, just precious is what this is."
-Mr. Bagwell, discussing synthetic division
"And no, I will not accept 'Jesus loves you' as an answer.
Yes, Jesus does love you, and that's the last time I want to hear that
in this class." -Mr. Price, first day of religion class
(talking about movie in religion class)
"But what's it contrasting?" -Mr. Price
"I don't know, nobody knows!" -Me
(*Pause* Mr. Price looks at Wes)
"Jesus loves you..." -Wes
"They're drunk, they're all drunk!
It's the new wine." -video in religion
"And don't come in and not know how to do the problem,
because that would be pointless." -Mr. Bagwell
"Haha! Get it? Pointless! Cause if you didn't know how to do
the problem, you wouldn't get any points!" -Me
"That's pretty good, what's your name?" -Mr. Bagwell
"Sandi." -Me
"Yeah, never talk again." -Mr. Bagwell
"They're not going to a brothel, they're going to a hotel!" -Mike P.
"Yeah, they're going to a hotel." -Beth
"Gum commercials are like softcore pornography." -Mike P.
"(so don't be upset when you get your tests back.)" -Mrs. Anthony
"I'm gonna throw myself down a flight of stairs!" -Casey G.
"Mr. Bagwell's birthday is coming up...we're going to bake
him a cake...with love in every crumb." -Beth
"Does anybody have 25 cents? Or any cents at all?" -Keelin
"I think that if you get a 40 or below on something, she should
write something else (instead of 'nice try'), like...'you're stupid.'"-Wes
"It's hot in here!" -Coach Turner
"Take off all your clothes." -Eric
"Is that your Data Match in your pocket?" -Beth
"Yes." -Kristen
"Or are you just happy to see me?" -Me
"Ok, I'm going to say a word, and you give me a synonym." -Mrs. Steinmetz
"This is crap!" -Amber
"(during a quiz) Is anyone absent today?" -Mr. Morrell
"I wish I was." -Ryan
"(taking role) Eric?" -Substitute
"I sometimes go by Jose." -Eric
"Go bitch at them, Jason." -James
(Jason leaves, sounds of muffled whispering)
"Way to tell 'em, Jason!" -Me
"(talking about the Bubonic plague) If all of your neighbors were dying left and right, what would you do?" -Mr. Price
"Go through all their stuff." -Beth
"There's no way I can get out of this bed without ripping this-if I roll out of bed, it rips. If Andy pulls me up, it rips. If I do a back-handspring off the bed, it rips." -Beth
"It's your time to shine! It's your moment! Never let is go!" -Max
(Chera goes up to the board to do a math problem)
"Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this..." -Mr. Bagwell
"If it means anything, I like youir haircut, Mr. Price." -Roberto
"(looks touched) It means nothing." -Mr. Price
"Damn tropical paradise!" -Rachel
"Let's steal free spoons!" -Allie
"You should do that. Start coughing when you press record and then-a thud, as your dead body hits the floor." -Beth's ideas for the Spanish Oral Quiz
"JP, I don't know what you just said, but I don't like it." -Alyson H.
"You probably wouldn't." -John Paul
"And I saw that old John Joseph would tell stories no more..." -"John Joseph" song that Chris brought in
"This has gotta be the worst 4 minutes of my life." -Patrick
"Imagine if a chair came and just decided to put one of its legs up on you. Would you like that?" -Mr. Bagwell
"Depends on which leg." -Will
"I have no math skills." -Mr. Bagwell
"Then why are you teaching math?" -Roberto
"Because they hired me...actually, my best skills are in deception." -Mr. Bagwell
"There was a rat running around on the bleachers." -Emily
"A live rat?!" -Mrs. Clift
"No, Mrs. Clift, it was a dead rat running around on the bleachers." -Me
"Do you ever have one of those dreams where you're eating a 10 pound marshmellow, but it turns out it's your best friend?!" -Rachel
"Did anybody watch the state of the union address last night?" -Mrs. Shuert
"No." -religion class
"American Idol was on." -John
"What is Nicole and Patrick were married and Patrick beat Nicole every night. Is that a good relationship?" -Mrs. Shuert
"No, but Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends." -Chris
"He's like: 'Flawless! 85.'" -Bob, talking about one of our teacher's grading system
"It's time for March Madness!" -Mr. Bazemore
"This isn't fair. I don't know crap about football." -Beth
"This is basketball." -Mr. Bazemore
"She thinks that a theme is something the reader has
to get out of af work." -Mr. Morrell
"I think she's right." -Wes
"I think she's OUT OF CONTROL!" -Patrick
"We're also gonna have a quiz on the three pages of lit terms that you've forgotten about." -Mr. Morrell
"What three pages we forgot about?" -Wes
"That's so bad it isn't even good." -Beth