Mrs. Beckham: Close, but no cigar.
Michael: We can have cigars?
John: Can we use 'methinks' in a paper?
Mrs. Beckham: Only if you're wearing tights and one of those little hats.
Wes: Don't give him any ideas!
Michael: Why can't we wear shorts?
Seamus: Because they're satan, Michael!
John B: Doesn't forced community service fall under the category of slavery?
Patrick: (to Mrs. Beckham) Don't you backsass me!
Jacob: Why do some people use p.p. as an abbreviation for page?
Mrs. Beckham: Because they're on drugs!
I am Caesar's number one fan, because Caesar was a sexy man.
LA: (after knocking over a cup of colored pencils) That's my life, in a nutshell.
Mrs. Beckham: BT is like an island...we're all trying to figure out what to do, who's in charge...
Beth: ...how to get off.
Kyle: (coming in late to class) Sorry, my carpool was late.
Subsitute: Kyle, don't *you* drive?
Kyle: Well...yeah.
Drew: I got a B in dance?!?!?!
Miss Halligan: 90% of all Americans at that time were farmers.
Chris: What were the other 10%?
Me: Slackers?
Micha: (talking about photographing near-death experiences) And in this picture you can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Me: So did you get your license?
Nick: Yeah. Did I drive to school? No. My dad's like: 'What?! You?! Drive?! I don't think so!'
Patrick: (After presenting his personal crest) That is Barden. He is Barden. I AM BARDEN.
Mrs. Beckham: Today's May day. It's a holiday.
Patrick: Let's run around and crash into things!
Mrs. Ragan: Is this anyone's notebook? It's an algebra 2 notebook. I don't know whose it is. And...oh look, they wrote something wonderful about my class on it. Lovely. I can't wait to find out whose it is.
Mrs. Clift: (talking about our dance costumes and the fact you could see our bra straps) And girls...the bras have got to go!
Drew: YES!!!
Unknown Junior Guy: When I think special effects, I think 'Wizard of Oz.' I mean, how did they get that horse to change color all the time?
John: The human race started with grunts (instead of words).
Mrs. Beckham: And we've deteriorated to that level.
Ian Hess: I don't want to see any bad bands! I want to see Kid Rock!
Mr. Sabin: A vote for Max is a vote for anarchy.
Ed: Why doesn't God just, like, zap us?
Mr. Odish: I don't know-His law of mercy, I guess.
I know that if I was God, none of you would be here.
Beth: I'm amazing.