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by
clueless_psycho PART ONE : LEARNING SANZOISM : TO UNDERSTAND OR NOT TO UNDERSTAND
House of Candles, Meifu Hakushaku sama was
entertaining a guest, the one and only Kanzeon Bosatsu sama, Goddess of
Salvation and Mercy. Hakushaku : ... and why do
you want some shinigamis for, Kanzeon Bosatsu sama ?! Kanzeon : I need them to help
a priest on Earth, to spread this teaching. Hakushaku : Interesting. Usually, shinigami work as an
investigator, not some kind of missionary ... what happens to his disciples
?! Doesn't he have any disciples to
help him ?! Kanzeon : Oh, this is a
special teaching. His disciples
wouldn't be able to help him spread it out. Hakushaku : And what is this
special teaching called ?! Kanzeon : Sanzoism. * * * * Temple of Setting Sun Genjo Sanzo was kneeling in
front of the shrine of the Three Aspects, listening to what they were saying,
although deep in thought. Three Aspects : Do you
understand, Genjo Sanzo ?! Sanzo : Hai, wakarimasta.
(not that I understand why do I need some shinigami to help me spread my
teachings, though) * * * * Shangri-La Temple, Togenkyo An elder disciple ran along
the corridor of the temple, to Genjo Sanzo's study room. Elder Disciple : Sanzo Houshi
sama ! Sanzo Houshi sama ! Sanzo : Urusai ! Your loud voice makes my head hurt ! Elder Disciple : Gomen nasai,
Sanzo Houshi sama. There are two
girls outside the temple. They said
they were sent by Hakushaku sama from House of Candles in Meifu to see you. Sanzo : (and who the hell is
this Hakushaku sama from House of Candles in Meifu and why did he sent two
girls to see me ?!). Bring them in
... Elder Disciple : Demo, Sanzo
Houshi sama ... this place is forbidden for females ... Sanzo : Bring them in. Two girls, dressed in rich,
traditional Chinese costumes, appeared. Sanzo : Now, I have no time
nor I have patience. Explain quickly. First girl : My name is Ming
Na and this is Bai Ling. We were sent
by Hakushaku sama from the House of Candles in Meifu to see you. We are shinigamis. Hakushaku sama said that he was requested
by Kanzeon Bosatsu sama to send some shinigamis to this temple to help you
spreading you teachings. Sanzo suddenly got a
headache. He lighted up a cigarette. Bai Ling : Sanzo Houshi,
you're not supposed to smoke, aren't you ?!' Sanzo : Urusai ! *blowing smoke* Rule number one : don't critisize me ... Ming Na : Demo, Sanzo Houshi
... Sanzo : Rule number two :
don't talk back. Now, I don't know
who's crazier, your Hakushaku sama or Kanzeon Bosatsu sama, but this place is
forbidden for females. Ming Na : Hakushaku sama knew
that, Sanzo Houshi sama. But all male
shinigami has already been assigned to other duties. Other females too. We are the only ones left. Bai Ling : Besides ... we're already dead, what harm
can we do to this holy temple ?! Sanzo : (Nothing. It's just that I have a crazy companion
who'll go after any females, alive or dead, human or youkai ... and he has a
bad habit of showing up suddenly). OK, OK, you'll stay here and
study for one month. There is a small
room at the end of the corridor that you can use as your bedroom. Lock it when you sleep and never unlock it
unless there is a fire or earthquake.
Go and see Shu Han for schedules of this temple, what time you have to
wake up, have meals and study, what kind of houseworks you'll be assigned to,
and stuff like that. In one month
time you should be ready for your mission, and if you don't, it's your own
problem. Unless you have something as
urgent as a matter of life and death, please don't bother to see me. Ming Na and Bai Ling :
*bowing* Wakarimasta, Sanzo Houshi sama The small room at the end of
the corridor. Ming Na opened up the
small window while Bai Ling upack their bags. Ming Na : My goodness, this room smells more of
tobacco and beer than incense. It
chokes me to death. *spraying expensive Elizabeth Arden "True Love"
perfume all over the room* Bai Ling : I wonder what they
use this room for. Why there are
three beds and a mahjong table with four chairs ?! Ming Na : Who knows. Maybe some monks have some secrets and
lock it here. Bai Ling : Hei, Ming Na, don't you think Sanzo Houshi
sama is a bit too handsome to be a priest ?!
I mean, look at his hair style ... no one in Meifu has hairstyle that
cool. Ming Na : Uh, I don't know
... *thinking about Tsuzuki Asato*. Bai Ling : Haaa ... I know ... no one
better compared to your Tsuzuki Asato ! Ming Na : *throwing pillow to
Bai Ling* Shut up ! Bai Ling : Hei, I heard that
he belongs to someone else already ... he's not really "normal",
you know ... Ming Na : Who cares about him
being normal and belongs to someone else already ?! Bai Ling : Haaa ... but you do care about him. Otherwise, you wouldn't always make lots
of sweet cakes for him. Ming Na : Hei, that's better
rather than yourself, thinking about your long lost love, your prince
charming who chose a real human with two legs over a slippery, smelly mermaid
like yourself. Bai Ling : *pinning Ming Na
in bed* Oh, shut up !!!! A voice at the doorway : Ma,
ma, girls, can I join the fun ?! Ming Na and Bai Ling looked
up and saw a tall young man with hair and eyes the colour of blood, smiling
broadly to them, cigarette between his lips. * * * * Several minutes later, in
Sanzo's study room. Sanzo : *suffering from a
painful vein attack thanks to the sudden arrival of his three
companions* Ladies, I told you to
always lock the room when you're inside ... Ming Na : Sanzo sama, you
told us to lock the door when we sleep ... Sanzo : URUSAI !!! Gojyo : Now, Sanzo, will you
explain why do you keep two girls in this oh so holy temple ?! Sanzo : Not your goddamn
business. Hakkai : But, Sanzo ... where
are we going to sleep tonight ?! Sanzo : Don't tell me you're
going to sleep over tonight. Gojyo : 'course we do. We've been travelling across the desert
just to pay our respect to you, now you tell us not to sleep over here
tonight ?! Sanzo : Go find a lodging in
the village. Or sleep with the disciples. Gojyo : Why, Sanzo ?! I don't make it a habit to sleep with
other guys. I've spent enough time
sharing rooms with you guys. I don't
mind sharing the room with these two beautiful ladies ... Sanzo : I mind. Gojyo : I'll behave ... we'll
behave ... right, ladies ?! Ming Na and Bai Ling *Looked
at each other in disbelief* Sanzo : I don't trust you. Goku : Neh, neh, what are you
guys talking about ?! I don't
understand. Gojyo : Baka saru. Just shut up. You're not old enough to understand. Goku : Who is not old enough
?! I'm older that you. I'm five hundred and sixteen years old,
you perverted kappa !!!! Gojyo : Ma, ma ... now the
monkey can even count ... Goku : Hakkai told me ! BANG !!! Hakkai : Sanzo, don't blow
your gun carelessly ! There are
ladies here. Sanzo : Get the hell out of
here or I'll kill you all ! I don't
care where you guys sleep tonight, but if I find you in the ladies bedroom,
I'll kill you. Slowly and painfully. Ladies, lock the door. LOCK THE DOOR !!! And stay away from that good-for-nothing
readhead. What, Goku ?! Goku : I'm hungry. Sanzo : Hakkai, give him instant noodles or
bread. The kitchen is closed already. Goku : I don't want instant
noodle ! We've been eating instant
noodle all the way because this red cockroach forgot to get lunch box in the
last village. Ming Na : What do you want to
eat ... eerrr ... Goku : Goku. It's Goku, Goku, Goku ... Ming Na : *smiling* ah, Goku
san, what do you want to eat ?! Gojyo : Peh, Goku san ...
baka saru is more like it. Goku : It's Goku ! And I want to eat roasted chicken, lots of
fried noodles, beef with black pepper sauce, prawn in thick curry sauce ... Ming Na raised her hands to
the level of her chest and concentrate, in a pose as if she was cupping a
small ball. A small light turned up,
getting bigger and bigger, then ... BANG !!!! Sanzo's desk was suddenly full of lots of delicious dishes. Goku : *stars in his
eyes* SUGOI !!! Nee-chan, arigato ! Itadakimasu !!!! Sanzo : Hmmpphh ... Ming Na : Would Sanzo Houshi
sama want something else ?! Gojyo : Yeah, beer ! Lots of beer ... and some packs of red
marble cigarettes ... Ming Na raised her hands
again and another splash of light came out and packs of beer and cigarettes
were suddenly available on the desk. Gojyo : You're
fantastic. I'd love to have you
living with ... OW, Sanzo !!! Why did
you hit me with that paper fan ????!!!! Sanzo : Didn't I tell you to
behave when you're in this temple ?! Ming Na : *smiling* Minna
san, please enjoy your meal, we'll excuse ourselves to our bedroom. Sanzo : Lock the room ... and
... arigato gozaimasu ... The two girls went to their
bedroom. Meanwhile our Sanzo Houshi sama and his three misfit companions
enjoyed their meal. I mean, only Goku
and Gojyo enjoyed the meal. Sanzo was
deep in thought while drinking beer and Hakkai looked at him in concern. Hakkai : What is it, Sanzo
?! Who are those girls ?! Sanzo : They are two
shinigamis sent by Kanzeon Bosatsu to help me spreading my teachings. Or something like that. Hakkai : Naahhh, isn't good,
having a shinigami who can create delicious food every time you want them
?! Maybe she should be work for Goku,
then we'll have no problem feeding him. Gojyo : But it doesn't sound
like Kanzeon Bosatsu, who would send two girls to help you. She never let any women get near you
before ... * * * * Celestial Heaven, The Lotus
Garden Kanzeon : (Baka Hakushaku sama. Why did he send two female shinigamis
?! Not that I fear Genjo Sanzo would
fall all over them.) * * * * House of Candles, Meifu Hakushaku : Do you like the
cakes, Tsuzuki ?! Tsuzuki Asato : Mmm ... yes,
they're extremely delicious. Thanks
for inviting me to tea, Hakushaku sama. (But I really miss that Ming
Na girl. She makes really delicious
sweet cakes. Where is she, anyway ?!) Hakushaku : Not at all,
Tsuzuki. You can always come here
anytime you like. I'll always have
delicious cakes ready for you. (... to take your mind off of
that Ming Na girl. That girl surely
knows that the way to your heart is through your stomach. Demo, ore no Tsuzuki, you're always mine.) * * * * Back in the Shangri-La
Temple, Togenkyou ... the small bedroom at the end of the corridor ... Ming Na : Why don't you
sleep, Bai Ling ?! Bai Ling : Sumimasen ... Ming Na : You suddenly got
very quiet after we met those three guys.
What is it ?! Bai Ling didn't answer. Lost in her thought. Ming Na : Something's
bothering you ?! Bai Ling : Ming Na, Gojyo san
... he looks just like my prince ... Now that's what we call BIG
PROBLEM. Genjo Sanzo cannot sleep
too. He had to share his bedroom with
his three companions. Two of them
were snoring so loudly, he felt like blowing their head off with his Exorcism
Gun. Morning came fairly soon. Someone knocked on the door,
while Ming Na and Bai Ling were getting dressed. Ming Na : Who is it ?! Voice from out-side the room
: This is Shu Han. Sanzo Houshi sama
told me to deliver some clothes for you.
Please wear these clothes while you're here. I'll put them on the floor, so you can get them later. Ming Na : Arigato, Shu Han
san. Shu Han : Dozo. Ming Na opened the door to
find two sets of neatly folded grey monk outfits on the floor. Bai Ling : *frowning* Nani ?!
I don't turn into human with two legs to wear this unfashionable
clothes. Ming Na : Well, guess this
means we can save our money 'cause we don't need to buy clothes for one
month. Sanzo was walking out of his
bedroom, along the corridor, to the Main Hall, for morning praying. Gojyo walked behind him. Sanzo : Why do you follow me
?! Gojyo : I want to go to the
Main Hall with you. For the morning
praying. Sanzo : What for ?! Do you suddenly decide that your life is
worthless and you need enlightenment to save you from your sins ?! Gojyo : I guess you can say
that. In the Main Hall, all
disciples were ready for morning praying, including the two girls from Meifu,
dressed in plain grey monk outfits, hair done in tight buns on top of their
heads. Gojyo pretended not to see
them and positioned himself to sit behind Sanzo. From there, he can see the two girls very clearly. Sanzo : And who do you think
you are, Gojyo, sitting right behind me ?! Gojyo : Why, can't I sit here
?! Sanzo : Go sit with the
disciples !!! Gojyo raised up and walked
away from Sanzo, to where the disciples were sitting. Sanzo : And don't sit near
the ladies ! Morning praying started, all
eyes closed in concentration, but Sanzo can feel two pair of eyes changing
glances in irregular intervals, one the colour of blood, one the colour of
deep ocean. They're dead meat, he swore
under his breath, while kept on chanting sutra. One hour later, in the Dining
Hall. Bai Ling stirred her rice
porridge, only to find slices of pumpkins and spinach inside. Bai Ling : *whispering to
Ming Na's ear* Ming Na, this is disgusting.
Rice porridge with no chicken meat.
Quick, put some meat for me. Ming Na : We're here to
study, not to pamper ourselves. Bai Ling : Since when you
become a moralist like that ?! At another table, Goku also
stirred his rice porridge. Goku : Neeehh, Sanzo, can we
have Onee-chan to make us better breakfast ?! Sanzo : Urusai ! After breakfast. Shu Han : Ladies, your
assignment will be linen laundry. Bai Ling : No problem. Shu Han : After that, please
go to the Main Hall for morning lecture. Bai Ling : Hai. Shu Han : Haaa ... Gojyo san
... Gojyo : Yes ?! Shu Han : We're having
problems with chopping firewood. Can
you please help us ?! Gojyo : *taking the paper containing list of
assignment from Shu Han's hand, finding Sanzo's handwriting saying : Gojyo :
firewood* Hmmmpphh ... Bai Ling and Ming Na went to
the back of the temple, where there was a well and big wooden buckets full of
dirty linen, ready to be washed. Ming Na : *clapping hands* What a coincidence ! A laundry assignment ! Bai Ling : Now we don't
really need to work out butt off. I
guess this assignment is not so bad after all. Bai Ling raised her hands,
palm met with palm, and she concentrated.
Soon, the water in the buckets started moving, stirring the linen
inside, washing the dirt away. After
several minutes, dirty water in the buckets splashed out, and clean water
from the well arose, filled the buckets and stirred the linen once again. Hakkai : That's interesting. Like having a washing machine with no
electricity. The two girls jolted. Hakkai smiled. Hakkai : Sumimasen, minna
san. So you can control water. Bai Ling : Hai, Hakkai san. Ming Na : Bai Ling once lived
as a mermaid with a beautiful voice.
One day she met a human prince and fell madly in love with him. To be able to be with him, be a human with
two legs, Bai Ling sold her voice to a sea witch. She became human, but the prince decided to marry someone else,
a princess. Bai Ling broke her heart
and killed herself. That's how she
became a shinigami. Because she once
was a mermaid, she can control water now. Hakkai : Sounds like a fairy
tale I heard once. But that power
came in handy now, right ?! Bai Ling : *smiling* Hai. Sometime later, in Sanzo's
study room. Sanzo : So, now I have one shinigami that controls food
and one that controls water. Maybe
next time the Three Aspects give me an assignment, I'd better take the two of
them instead of the three of
you. At least, when I meet Kougaiji
and his sister again, one can take care of Kougaiji and one can take care of
Lirin. Hakkai : *smiling
groggily* Hai. Besides, one of your three companions is
not functional properly right now. Sanzo : Which one ?! Hakkai : Gojyo san. I saw him entering the Main Hall for the
morning lecture, after chopping fire woods. Sanzo : Hmmph ... (I should've given him works in
the rice field.) After morning lecture. Ming Na : I don't understand. According to Hakushaku sama, we're
supposed to spread Sanzoism. But I
don't think what the old priest taught just now is Sanzoism. Sanzo Houshi sama didn't even give
lectures. All he does are reading
newspapers and smoking in his study room.
What is Sanzoism anyway ?! Bai Ling : Maybe, it's something we have to find out
ourselves. (Which I don't care to find
out anymore, since I have found my prince here.) * * * * |
