I'm tired of being hurt
Of pouring out my feelings to people like you
I trusted you
Then you pulled a 180 on me
I thought you understood what I felt
Being decieved by a moment of weakness
You got past the wall I so carefully built around my heart

Did you lie to me?
You got past the wall I have around my soul
Or have I lied to myself?
I do it over and over again
Never learning my lesson
I'm a loner by nature
By choice?
I feel comfort in being alone
Isn't it hard being alone?
Alone in a household of five
It's easy for me to be alone, a task too easily accomplished
Then I see my parents and youngest sister with their friends
I'm alone
I see my younger sister with her fiancee
I get lulled into thinking what if?
What if I had a lot of friends or a fiancee?

Yeah, right
How could I try to imagine what I never had to begin with?
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
I select my friends cautiously, one by one
Even then I don't let my guard down, they see what I project to them
How did you get past my guard?
I never reveal the true me
When I'm with my friends, I'm a happy carefree girl
They don't know about my dark, depressing thoughts or about my compulsive manner
I can`t fight this feeling anymore
They don't know how I cry into a thick towel, muffled sobs no one hears
I won't let you know how much you've hurt me
I'm the black sheep of the family
It's funny, I never understood that saying, but it's true
Wierd, but in a good way
I don't like the same things they do, our morals aren't alike
Are they supposed to be?
I don't feel like I belong
Maybe I was adopted, I dunno
There's nothing more to say
Look, it seems I've done it again.
I've poured out my heart to you, dear reader
I hope you don't find too much fault with me
I wanna be
I wanna be with
I wanna be with someone who understands me
And maybe someday I'll find him.