Random shit. Enjoy.
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that
16. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
17. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
18. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
19. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
20. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
21. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
23. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
seven home remedies that work
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers - just cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes. This will reduce the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent your rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
And Remember:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends, you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
11-10-05 / 7:34 p.m.
Aah, planning and more planning. I've actually looked for different website layouts and I keep coming back to this one. These two, actually. There's an i-frame layout (this one) and a plain one (the green one) that I kinda like. Anyway, I just wanted to say that yeah I'm still redoing Journey. I haven't found a beginning I'm happy with though. Beginning as so far as who Cirrus is, why she is where she's at, and how she gets tossed into the Pokemon world. I want to make it as realistic as I can. Campy sucks, you know.
06-10-04 / 9:37 p.m.
I seem to be updating every year. Oh I'm horrible! Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know that I may have a new layout coming soon, and I definitely have plans for Cirrus. I have been spending the better half of the year rewriting all three of my novels: Journey, NeoJourney, andHidden Journey. Keep a look out for the new and improved series.
07-30-03 / 8:47 p.m.
I need to update more often! I think I'm gonna stick purely with the i-frame layout. If it's not convenient for people, then please contact me and let me know.
07-03-03 / 6:47 p.m.
Just a preview of what is to come. Yes, Cirrus is coming back after a long ass hiatus. I promised I wouldn't let her story end in nothingness. It's a bad way to end things, don't you think?