By: Andrew M.
(Down at Mario�s Resturante�)
Mario: hey Luigi!
Luigi: what is it this time Mario?
Mario: my brother, haven�t so many people appeared in this field which we used to dominate?
Luigi: it is to be expected, is it not?
Mario: it is, it is. Yet I�d rather it not.
Luigi: You always have defended your title�
Mario: Luigi, its time to clean the house, break some balls�
Luigi: get back to the top?
Mario: exactly�
Luigi: even our friends?
Mario: it depends�
Luigi: on what, brother?
Mario: on how much they piss me off!
(Laughter proceeds while the frame backs off, into the dark skies)
(At Cloud�s secret lair, thing� you know, that place where he hides and makes crap, you know, wigs, food, porn, whatsoever)
(Cloud goes over to the door and finds a letter slipped under it, and promptly picks it up and begins to read;)
Mr. Cloud Strife,
We, the Mario Bros., have invited you and your partners and or associates, to a convention, a party, if you will. You are in utmost obligation to attend, or some body parts might be missin� the next day. It is planned to be tomorrow, at Princess Peach�s castle. And you better not mess with my bitch, but I don�t believe I�ll have to worry about that now�
P.S. You can bring your hippie crap too�
(Cloud stood there for a moment, before jumping in joy, for a reason he didn�t know.)
Cloud: I uh� guess that I�ve got to call everyone. I�ve just got to find my phone, but where did I put it?
(The next day)
Cloud: Ok; I told everyone, now I�ve just got to pack.
Cloud�s list
Cheese grater
�special� porn
bong
gerbils
sword
crap (for hair)
pokin� stick
enema machine
woman�s pleasure device
Cloud: yep I�m ready!
(So he went off to the castle in his pink golf cart, almost drowning when he traveled underwater.)
(When Cloud arrived, he was late, and everyone was already there. Because his golfcart only went 5mph)
Cloud: Hey everybody! No response eh,
Mario: Cloud! You made it� is that a golf ca�
Cloud: its Mario! Cmon jump!
Mario: � let me show you around, over there at that big tree, are link, Zelda, samus, and fox. Over there at the gambling table are Tommy Vercetti, Ricardo Diaz, and Sonny Forelli. At the buffet table is the one and only Kirby, eatin� all my frickin� pasta! Your friends are over there, by that big wall, that one that says no clouds. And over by the bonfire are ganondorf, ridley, bowser, and other villains. And everyone else is at the pool.
(Cloud had wandered off quite a while ago, heading toward the gambling table.)
Tommy: jeez, look at this prick. Some spiked punk rocker.
Cloud: hey guys! Let me play!
(Cloud jumps on the table and, for some reason, pretends to take a bath with the cards.)
Diaz: Dickhead! What the hell are you doing you freakin� dickhead! If I had my freakin� shotgun right now I�d blow you the hell up!
Sonny: Diaz, you can borrow mine!
Diaz: heh heh! You�re gonna get some lead in your ass now you pussy dickhead!
(Cloud starts running after Diaz fires his shotgun, unfortunately, Diaz was slow.)
Sonny: That guy�s got a bad temper.
Tommy: who doesn�t these days. If he messed up my best hand I�d do the same.
(Cloud Runs towards the bonfire, and Diaz saw some pigeons crapping on his car, and got distracted)
Cloud: ill just hide behind the red dragon! He�ll never find me!
Ridley: who the hell are you!
Cloud: I�m Cloud, I like to hump trees and make porn out of me doing it!
Ridley: �why does Mario always bring the freaks! Look, you are a freakin� tree humpin� hippie, and quite frankly, your idiocy and total incomprehension of what you do is scary.
Cloud: you�re red. Just like those gerbils I hump, can I hump you?
(Ridley then began to chase after cloud, and Diaz had finished killing those pigeons. So cloud began to run near link.)
Cloud: You�ve got to help me! I'm being chased by a hump post and a disgruntled fat man!
Link: It looks to me like you, are trying to copy me!
Cloud: I am?
Link: Blonde hair, Pointy hair to mimic my pointy hat, and even a sword and blue eyes! You insult my legacy!
Cloud: are you gonna chase me?
Link: no! Of course not! I'm just gonna steal your sword, cut off your hair, and rip out your eyes.
Cloud: oh okay, I thought you were gonna chase me�
(Link just gives cloud the finger and walks away, trying again, but failing, to score with Zelda.)
Samus: You there! Cloud! I�m Samus!
Cloud: Finally a friendly person! But why do you have your gun on me? �cause it tickles!
Samus: Well, you see, Diaz, Ridley, and Link gave me some money to assassinate you.
Cloud: you can�t touch my assass!
Samus: You�re an idiot aren�t you.
Cloud: no, I know how to spell I! X M L O P
Samus: yeah� great, just take your renilin�
Cloud: Renylin, I don�t need that anymore, Hojo gave me a lobotomy, but he took my�
Samus: could you just shut up, I mean, you�re just too stupid.
Cloud: can�t you just let me go, to my friends.
Samus: no, I don�t think so, but I can give you a bucket.
Cloud: but, can I live longer, to make my last porn?
Samus: well, I�m not supposed to, but since you�re so retarded, you couldn�t get away if you tried!
Cloud: So that means I can!
Samus: no�
(Samus then froze Cloud, but before she could shoot a missile at him, his friends asked if they could have him.)
Samus: okay, but I need a deposit.
Aeries: like what?
Samus: that gattling gun on your hand there.
Barret: Mista B. don�t give no crap to some silly jibber head!
Samus: okay, I guess ill� just melt him then.
Mario: Man, this was a disaster!
Samus: what do you mean?
Mario: I was just gonna try and get rid of all of you, so I could be the supreme character in this universe, thing�
Tifa: so why didn�t you yet?
Mario: because I�ve found a greater enemy, Cult leaders! So I�ve hired Tommy to come out and kill all of you anyway. With the greatest weapon of all! A blunt toothpick!
Diaz: Finally! I�ve found this dickhead!
Ridley: he�s in ice, let�s melt him!
Link: I�ll slice up the body, with my face!
Ridley: I�m not sure that�ll work.
Link: so� oh come on! Do you know how hard it is to think right when you�re as horny as me?
Ridley: no, I�ve never been in that situation before.
(Then everyone decided to try and kill cloud, they all had problems with him, whether it was sexual harassment, utter stupidity, or just a general hate. But when they cracked open the ice, a hippie gas, caused by the fermenting gerbils in his intestines, don�t ask how they got there, made everyone high, and they all started dancing around the now conscience Cloud)
(Then Cloud awoke from his �happy� dream)
Cloud: Gahhhh! I�ve just had an ALMOST wet dream! Oh, it was just you, ass gerbil.
(After feeding his various carnivorous plants sticks, he went back to sleep, festering in his juices.)