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Dear Mr. Gates:
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Date: Sun, 3 June 2007 9:25 WesternIndonesiaTime Subject: First Japanese Cabinet Minister Suicide Since World War II
Like I wrote in my previous letter of Vice President JK's Visit to Japan, around three days after Indonesian Vice President visited Japan, there was the news about Japan's farm minister, Toshikatsu Matsuoka, has attempted suicide in Tokyo May 28, 2007. It was the first suicide of a minister in Japan since World War 2. What becomes interesting from this case is that it looks like there was some kind of connection with my self. His position was as Japan’s Agricultural Minister, with the initial of AM like my first name A.M. Firmansyah. His name was Toshikatsu Matsuoka, whereas his last name Matsuoka was like reminding me with my cousin Mat Hasyim who worked in a hotel for around forty years. Like related with my consent to treat the hotel heiress Paris Hilton as my bridge to heaven. The initial of his name Toshikatsu Matsuoka is TM, like my temporary work in 1987 at Mandarin Oriental hotel as a Tele Marketer, or TM.
Date: Sun, 3 June 2007 9:34 WesternIndonesiaTime Subject: A Choice for My Consent to Move to the Eternity?
When Cho Seung Hui shot some students at Virginia Tech University, it raised a question in my mind: "What could be the message for me since it happened at Virginia Tech, like related with my name Firmansyah, does that mean I would end up like Cho Seung Hui, died as a mentally ill person?" It became worse because a few days after the tragedy at Virginia Tech, by the time I went home form the mosque, there was someone who was like intentionally waiting for me, sitting in the food-and-cigarette stall nearby the house where I live. He was a skinny little young man working at an Insurance Company, who often talked with me before. One day around year 2005 when I was inside a public transportation vehicle "angkot", he happened to be inside the vehicle too. In a conversation, he told me that he knew someone who had collection of guns, rifles and pistols like AKA, M-16, stand-gun, revolver pistols, semi automatic pistols, and so on. My reply at that moment was that it would be terrible to carry such guns without sufficient permit from the authority. So when on a few days after the tragedy at Virginia Tech, by the time I went home form the mosque, he was like intentionally waiting for me by sitting in the food-and-cigarette stall nearby the house where I live, it made me wonder. Did he on some kind of mission to turn me into some kind of Cho Seung Hui, by introducing me to his friend who has the collection of guns, and let me get one or two? Therefore I would die in a suicide tragedy as a mentally ill person like Cho Seung Hui? But it would be against my consent to move out of this world for the good of this world. Cho Seung Hui had murdered some students before he died from a suicide, with the total death of 33 persons. Since my consent is to move to the eternity for the good of this world, could not I have a better way to meet the end of my life without causing the deaths of others, and not as a mentally ill suicidal person? Then came the suicide news of Japan's Agriculture Minister Toshikatsu Matsuoka, the first time a Japanese cabinet minister has killed himself since World War II. It became like an answer for me that a suicide does not always related with a mentally ill person. Even in Japan, one of the most advanced countries in the world which Toyota cars has now leading as the world number one car producer, the minister had committed a suicide. Nevertheless, I think life is too precious to cut in whatever kind of suicide. My consent is about to meet the end of my life naturally in God’s way. This consent of mine came after experiencing a near death moment in 1979 when all of a sudden I felt something inside me was being pulled out from my head. Nevertheless I thought I was not yet ready to meet the end of my life, so I prayed to God to give me more time so I could be more prepared. And it was then followed by a blank for a while, and then I realized that I was still on this earth. Yet a few years later, when I realized that I was not improving myself well in this life, I thought that maybe I should be better not asking for a prolong of my life like I did in 1979. So since then I began to feel like I always get closer to the end, to make sure I would no longer ask God to prolong of my life.
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Thank's, A.M. Firmansyah Tel. +62812 183 1538
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