 | Adventures in Fantasy Football: | |
| Adventures in Fantasy Football: | |
... except this one guy, who tried to tell us who we should pick up at running back. Maybe you should eat a big bowl of shutthefuckup. I hate this league.
Clearly, the gayest part about this league is that unless your guy scores a TD or runs for 100 yards or something, you get zero. Zero. The CLMFFL will credit you if your man suits up, takes the field and falls forward for a yard - this is a quantifiable contribution to the team. Gaining yards is important. On the other hand, if your guy rushes for 99 yards, it's not that much different from 100 yards. Yet the guy who trips over his shoelace gets a bonus point while the guy who falls down out in bounds to stop the clock gets none. Gay.
Top this off with the fact that Mike Bridges is now trash talking me. "How many points does your team have? Jamie Boll has 197!"
Yeah, jagoff. My CLMFFL quarterback outscored Boll's entire season in Week One.
I'm soooooo happy I have "franchise player" Curtis Martin locked on my squad. This league is gayer than gay.
Furthermore, I still don't know the scoring method and I have no real idea how well/poorly my team is performing. No website. I have one flimsy sheet of paper jammed in my "mailbox." Nice. How much money did I give you?
We drew pieces of paper (out of an honest-to-goodness hat) to select in the "first" round. That is, the post franchise-player round. We selected the phat numero uno. That means we have our choice of any non-franchise player. What's this? Shaun Alexander was not "franchised?" Whatever. He's ours, now. I'm at a loss as to why whoever had him last year didn't save him.
So, we've got Curtis and Shaun. We got a little panicky as WRs started flying off the board, so we snared Keyshawn Johnson, James Thrash, Peter Warrick and gambled with Terry Glenn. This league requires one starting QB, TE, K and D. You must also start 2 WRs and 2 RBs. Having not done any TE homework, we made things easy on ourselves and selected Tony Gonzalez. We waited a bit long on QB, and Carter (the Cowboys fan) assured me that Quincy Carter would have a better year than Trent Green. He also assured me that Q-Car would not be around if we waited another 26-pick snake cycle. So, we have Quincy Carter as our starter (backed up by Mark Brunell). Our backup RBs are fairly good, considering we must carry 4. We got DeShaun Foster and Troy Hambrick. Not that we need them, with studs Curtis and Shaun.
I started licking my lips when one team saved a franchise QB and selected another QB with their first overall pick. Guys, this league was wild. People we avoided like the plague in our draft went high and often. The scoring in this league is of the weak, jacked-up variety. (1 point for every 16.3 yards or some such nonsense.) I have a feeling that we'll roll and roll hard, here. It's all up to Quincy Carter. Did I mention that Carter Gent is a Cowboys fan?
- Pause to reflect that I selected Q-Car with the third-to-last X-Factor in the CLMFFL -
Example of typical occurrence: Antonio Bryant went several rounds before Joey Galloway.
Feel free to click on the pictures below of members of that league for a "printable picture for you to keep." (That's what it says on our website, though I'd hate to meet people who would do that...)
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Most of the participants in "The Bridges League" are my bosses, in one way or another. It will be fun to kick the living hell out of them... pending Quincy Carter's predicted dominance, of course.
