The Virtual Presence of Clive E Morley

Fun Stuff - Teaching resources

Obviously I don't give my students enough homework. if they can find the time to do stuff like this. Or just maybe they have no life outside of collage? Anyway shouldn't complain at least it's IT related and they are enhancing their skills. Clive1.swf Clive2.swf Thanks Maz (Especially like the one of me as Neo from the Matrix - Computers are so much nicer than humans!)

Maz's link to his coding community byond.com

Students! Please be aware that I am in NO way suggesting that you try any of the following I am merely pointing out what you should NOT do. Your teacher is already under appreciated, overworked and stressed out enough. My students know that any instances such as those suggested below will be met with swift and dreadful consequences. Sean, Anthony I am watching!!!

26 WAYS TO CONFUSE and WORRY YOUR IT TEACHER.

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. When your sit down at the computer, complain to the teacher that you can't get the computer to work. After he/she's has turned it on, wait 2 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

4. Before anyone else is in the computer room, swap the leads from each base unit to the monitor next to it. Wait until the class logs on and wait for the fun to start.

5. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

6. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

7. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

8. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

9. Pull out a bottle of Tippex. Start dabbing on the screen. Complain that the delete key doesn't work.

10. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

11. "FRIZBEE DISK FIGHT!!!"

12. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

13. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.

14. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the Floppy Disk Drive, when it doesn't work, call the teacher over.

15. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of your teacher on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you to achieve.

16. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.

17. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your project like this. Then go to the teacher and complain about the bad working conditions.

18. Work quietly - then half way through the lesson laugh hysterically shout, "You will all perish in flames!!!" and then continue working.

19. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

20. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write your entire project in this way.

21. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

22. Keep looking at invisible bugs on the screen and trying to swat them.

23. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbour is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your file isn't affected). Then look at your neighbour's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *YOUR* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbour's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.

24. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the teacher and complain that your computer actually ate your disk.

25. Stare at the screen of the person next to you, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

26. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return, then leap back and yell "OHHHHHHH!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.