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Page of Shame |
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This page is basically an account of all the stupid and/or funny things we have done that involve climbing. Some of the stories on this page may contain actions that would be very dangerous if attempted off the ground. Anything that involved a chance of injury was not tried more then 10ft off the ground. PLEASE DO NOT TRY ANY OF THE ACTIONS WHICH ARE DEPICTED ON THIS PAGE, AS THEY MAY RESLUT IN SERIOUS INJURY OR IN SOME CASES DEATH!!! |
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The Pigeon Incident |
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The Zipline and the Codelette |
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So there I was (Matt), enjoying my day on the rocks, having a good time climbing up Wind Ridge when I heard something scritching above me. I looked up just in time to see a pigeon flying at me. The stupid thing hit me right in the side of the head, no joke. Everyone else but me thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Stupid pigeon. |
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This is one of those things that was fun while it was going on, but just got dumber and more painful the longer it went on, and unfortunatly it went on for longer then I would like to admit..
There was a pretty cool zipline set up over Clear Creek and being the brainiacs that we are, we thought it would be fun to tie a 20ft piece of cordlette to the zipline and jump. Steve said that he had measured the cordlette so it would just keep me from getting wet. If you know anything about Steve you'll know he is horrible with guessing distance, but I trusted him and jumped....jumped right in to the river. I climb out to tie a knot 5 ft. higher than his knot and make him jump. He stayed dry so I jumped, but from higher up the cliff, more height equals more fun, right!?! The answer is for a while. So, every time one of us would jump we'd be another 5ft up the cliff, until we reached the top and jumped. Here is a tip if you ever decided to fall 20ft for fun with a hard wet climb back up: get your and harness and your shoes on right. I jumped from the top, the cordlette caught, smashing the thing that only boys have in the leg loop, from there I realized I was in cold water, hmm why don't I have a right shoe on any more? Oh yeah, the current took it. I looked up to see Steve laughing and my shoe floating away. I scrambled out of the river and hobbled back to the car. Remind me not to do this again, ever. |
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The Bush Incident |
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Now this one is even funny for me. Steve, me (Matt), and our friend Chrissy were on our way to do a first ascent, at least we thought it was because there was no trail heading up to the cliffs. We hiked trough the bushes to and started climbing to a ledge. While on the ledge racking our gear our arms and legs started burning, so I looked at my arms and saw tons of bumps. Hmm, we just hiked through poison oak for about 100 yards to get here. The thing that really upset me though was we found a piton halfway up so it was not a first ascent. |
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How Many Times We Forgot the Ropes |
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A counter of how many times we've shown up at a crag without any ropes.............. |
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7 |
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The Knife Incident |
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This was an incident that is funny for everyone but me. Notice how the tip of my index finger is missing ? Here is what you should do to avoid doing this to yourself: #1 Don't poke holes in your sandals so you can clip the to your gear loops, #2 Don't ask to borrow your friends gigantic knife to poke holes in your sandals #3 Don't put your finger where the knife will come out of after the hole is poked in the sandal #4 Don't poke holes in sandals while in a hurry to get climbing, it will only slow you down more and #5 don't have a camera to take a picture of your missing finger so you can post it on the internet, it only adds to the embarrassment. Hopefully these suggestions will keep you with 10 finger tips instead of 9. |
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Nick, Just Look at Him |
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He's attempting to smile |
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He's trying to impress his girlfriend |
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Nick's Foot Ascender |
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Steven's Zipline of Peril |
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So there Nick was with his great idea of making a foot ascender with some webbing and a Wild Country Ropemen. He set up the ascender on his foot, but he forgot his harness by the other zip line so being the smart kid he is he decided to clip directly into his belt. He got about 10ft when his belt broke, the funny part is that the foot ascender held, so he hit the ground (10ft or so) with his foot still caught in the ascender he had created. He just hung there for a while until he could wiggle his foot out and fall to the ground. |
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So there I was, sitting on the longest and steepest zip line we had ever put up. Matt had almost bottomed out before clearing the hill when he did it so I decided to take up about 6 inches of slack before I went down the line. After I had tied a new clove hitch I decided it looked good and jumped. Little did I know that then six inches of slack taken out of the rope would keep me from slowing down. I started to pick up speed very fast, and closing in on me was this huge pine tree that the other end of the rope was anchored to. Without much time to think I grabbed the rope to stop from hitting the tree. I think everyone with in a mile of me could hear me yell. F**K!!!!!!!! The good news was that I did not hit the tree, that bad news was that I had I horrible friction burn across four of the fingers on my right hand. |
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Chrissy and how NOT to Zipline |
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Matt- "Just do it, jump from that rock Chrissy!"
Chrissy- "Ok!"
Matt- "No! Not that .........Are you okay?"
Chrissy- "Sort of"
Explanation of the above: Chrissy jumped off of the wrong boulder trying to zipline, she went knees first into a boulder of ultimate peril.We tried to laugh but just couldn't. |
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Matt and Bounce Testing |
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So there Matt was with his brand new DMM peanuts, like always he was very confident in these tiny ass things. So he climbed up, placed one and started to bounce test it. After a few bounces he gets ready for a monstrous bounce. Right when he comes own on the smallest DMM peanut it rips straight out of the tapering crack sending Matt sliding down the slanted slab. It was pretty funny to everyone but him. |
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Team Rope Drop |
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Nick and Peter are...... Team Rope Drop. We have done some dumb things in our day but Team Rope Drop tops them all. The four of us were climbing Wind Ridge (Steve and I went up first) and after waiting on the pitch 2 belay ledge for a while I was curious about what was taking so long. When Steve got up to me he said that Nick just finished pitch one. I asked what took so long and here was the story I got: Peter dropped the rope. When Nick got to me he explained the rope drop
"I yelled off belay Peter yelled on belay and about 5 seconds later the rope flew down."
When Peter got to the ledge this is the story I recieved....
"I yelled off belay, untied and Nick tugged on the rope, I didn't notice until I went to pick it up again."
Matt and Steve's take on the story- It doesn't matter we were laughing at them to hard to to figure out what happened and why they dropped the most important piece of gear imaginable. Give team rope drop a hand!!! |
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Steve's Passive Pro Biner |
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So there I was about to finish the second pitch of Wind Ridge, my last piece was about 20ft below me so I decided to place my little green alien before I made the last few moves to the belay ledge. I placed and set an anchor and belayed up Matt. He almost made the last few moves without taking out my cam so I told him not to forget it. That is when we both looked at it and it was just sitting there with the biner stuck in the crack. So he tried to get it out but with no luck. I mean this biner was really wedged in there and we had no idea how it got like that. Now I said to myself to hell with this and I got out my nut tool and started trying to get it out with that, but the son of bitch would not budge. So we decided to take the cam and sling of the biner, tie the biner onto a keeper cord. I was going to lower Matt down below the biner and he was going to pull at it that way, that is when I got the great idea of kicking it. So i was siting on the edge of the ledge kicking it. Finally the biner poped out. We thought that we might have to leave the biner in there was booty gear for the next group. We agreed that it would have been funny, but we were not going to let the biner win. |
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Zip Ties & Shopping Karts |
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This story is not climbing related but we still thought it was pretty funny. This is an account of the time that Matt and I zip tied a shopping kart to Nick's driver side rear view mirror of his truck. So there we were walking out of Home Depot (where Nick works) when we got the idea of putting a zip tie around his mirror and then threading the tie through the handle of a shopping kart. We found all the materials needed and zip tied the kart to his mirror. We left, and around lunch time that day we ran into him again at his house, where we found out that he had missed half of his lunch becuase he could not find sizors to cut the tie. We thought it was prtty funny but he did not, so he got ouit his boxing gloves and started to hit us. I think we got the upper hand. |
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