Whipped Cream:
1. Shaving foam
2. Wear as a tasty Santa Claus beard
3. Graffiti, that the toothless will love!!
4. Townie foundation
5. The most delicious foam party ever staged
6. Fire extinguishers!!!!!!!! It wouldnt do a damn thing but it'd be hella fun!
7. Bubble bath...
8. Moisturiser...
9. Squirt it on your genitals and go out naked :)..hehe..just imagine
10. Squirt the entire can into your mouth, then sing the national anthem...really..try it!!
11. Learn to fly then create your own clouds shaped like Soviet leaders from the 19th century
12. Squirt into a sphere, wait to curdle, then use as a football :)
13. Turn your dog into a sheep!!
Toothpaste:
1. Brushing teeth
2. Drying out spots
3. Colgate is good for burns apparently
4. Spread over the walls of your home for a minty fresh poly filla
5. Use the tube as a funky surfboard for your barbie dolls/action men/small relative
6. Fake orgasms by smearing the stuff on the sheets
7. Townie foundation
8. Goth foundation
9. Paintbaling, McCleans style
10. Cake icing
11. Put in your super soaker and chase young children and the elderly
12. Funky hair dye
13. If ever you date a dentist you can use it as an alternative to body paint
Peanut Butter:
1. Spread on your toast
2. Fool your sleeping friends by smearing it on their ass
3. Tribal paint
4. Townie foundation
5. Drop it from a plane to feed the starving children of Ethiopia
6. Start a peanut butter cult and worship the jar
7. Yummy milkshakes
8. Give as a present to your loved one
9. Form a peanut butter eating contest for the elderly only
10. Mop on the floor and accuse anyone who slips of being a witch and anyone who doesnt of being a demon
11. Smear on your dogs tail and be amused for hours
12. Fake tan
13. Mix with boiling water to form a delicious coffee substitute
Pickled Onions:
1. Eating
2. Testicle substitutes
3. Townie foundation
4. Mini pickled onion footballs
5. Eyeball replacements for old teddy bears/relatives
6. Really uncomfortable ear plugs
7. Really uncomfortable anal plugs
8. Next time you lose the ball in your mouse..
9. With the help of a green and blue felt tip pen, you can create a mini pickled Earth
10. Pretend your President Bush/Tony Blair and drop mini pickled onion bombs on your helpless innocent Polly Pockets
11. Stick some toegther to form a scaled down version of your fattest friend
12. Use them as a warning to all other onions