A Lecture
Delivered On Monday, Dec.
16, 1850
BY THE REV. C. G. FINNEY
at the Tabernacle, Moorfields
Modernized by Cliff Collins
The first of two Addresses
to Christian Parents on their duties and responsibilities concerning the early
conversion of their children.
I
have so many things to say to parents, that I hardly know where to begin. It is one of those subjects that so much
needs to be said. The greatest influence
in the whole government of God, exercised over the destinies of the world, is
exercised in the family. The mother
begins the work. The parent’s influence
is no doubt the most important influence in a child’s life. God planned it this
way. This was one purpose in
establishing family relationships.
Family relationships not only secure earthly blessings, like the care
and nurture of the young, but parents should have a spiritual influence and exert
that influence over their offspring.
The great end that God has in view is their spiritual well being. This is one of His great designs, no doubt;
but most parents have lost sight of this; and therefore the great object of the
Almighty in establishing family relationships, at least as far as children are
concerned, is defeated.
Always remember
that this influence, whatever it may be, takes place very early in life, and is
generally decisive, one way or the other; maturity is, in most cases, little
more than the development of what begins in early life. The mother, as I have said, begins the
work. She heads the undertaking; and exerts
more influence over the child at first than everything else; and if she understands
what she is about, if she is a pious woman, if she uses the faculties God has
put into her hands she will be, under God, the greatest possible blessing to
that child. Parents stand in such
peculiar relationships that their children naturally have more confidence in
their father and mother than in anyone else.
Their position gives parents an influence over the youthful mind, for
good or for evil, with which no other influence in the world can compare. Whatever is done in this direction, is done
and will be done very early in life, and the results only develop themselves
after that.
Let me explain
what I mean. Parents have a mighty
influence over little children. They
lead them to their earliest thoughts, and give them most of their first ideas. The spirit of the parent teaches the child a
great deal, even before his or her words can teach him. The example and influence of parents is not
confined to just verbal teaching; everything parents do has an influence over a
child. Every word parents say, before
the baby can fully understand the meaning of words, influences that baby; and
when it comes to understand language, the little mind weighs all that it hears
and thus the child is educated. Now if
the parents’ influence is a worldly influence, if there is nothing in those parents
that would lead the child to think about its soul and God early in life, if it
does not see their parents concern for their own soul, its education has begun
in the wrong direction. If parents neglect
to let their child see, very early in life, that they are concerned about its
salvation, if the idea of religion is not a prominent idea, if the child does
not see that religion is working in the parents’ mind, if he does not see that
the will of God is the parents’ life and glorifying God is the parents’ goal,
if he does not see these things in his parents, the child will understand it,
think about it, and it will have worldly influence over him much earlier than
parents think. I have known children,
for example, whose temperament was such, that when very young, they talked a
lot about religion, and were constantly asking questions about it. Their little minds were so thoroughly engrossed
with the subject that they hardly seemed to know that there were any other
places than those to which their parents were accustomed to go to for religious
worship. Even when strangers have come
in, they have been accustomed to ask, “is that person a Christian”?
The early
conversion of children materially depends on the parents securing a foundation
for religious truth among the earliest thoughts that are developed in the
mind. It is curious to see how children
observe when parents pray and recognize God in all their ways. It is remarkable to see the effect of this
on their infant minds; they go to their little chairs, kneel down, and try to
pray. They see their parents pray. Their mother is in the habit of taking them
and praying with them, from birth; and as soon as they can understand her, she
leads them into her closet, reads the Bible to them, talks about the Savior,
and prays with them daily, sometimes several times a day. Because of this, you will see the children
get their little chairs, and have their little meetings, and go down on their
knees and pray all by themselves. One
mother recently wrote to me says: “Little Willy gets his chair, kneels down,
and clasping his little hands, says, “O Lor” (he could not even say Lord
yet).” Every toddler would pray like
this if he had such a mother. Now the
tendency of all this is to keep the little one’s thoughts awake. From the spirit and temper of the parent, he
perceives that religion is something of supreme importance. God becomes involved in all his little
thoughts. He sees that religion is the
great concern of his parents’ life.
Where this is true, I don’t believe that there is one case in a
thousand, in which children are not converted at a very early age. That is of course, unless there is some
error in the teaching or conception of the parent that gets in the way, and
keeps this influence from producing its natural results. I have known pious parents, who have said a
lot to their children on the subject of religion, but because they held certain
erroneous views, have laid stumbling blocks in their way. The parents taught them some things which
were false, which, as a result, proved to be a hindrance to them.
It is important
that parents should understand that there is only one of two pathways open to
them concerning their children; they must either exert a worldly influence,
which would direct their little minds in an entirely wrong direction, or they
must exert a spiritual influence, which will set them seeking religion. The child’s mind will ponder religion; its
earliest thoughts will be about religion.
The earliest influences they can remember, will be convictions of sin;
Heaven and Hell, Christ and Eternity, will stir and excite their little minds.
These influences begin as soon as the child has left the lap of its loving
mother.
For the few
moments I can spend sharing with you, I will turn your attention to a few
things that parents must avoid if they want to secure the salvation of their
children.
1). Be sure you
don’t stumble over the thought that “you can’t expect” the early conversion of
your children. A worthy deacon from
Birmingham called on me a few hours ago at Dr. Campbell’s. His family were all converted and united to
the church; his youngest child was only about ten years of age. He told me that he had been introduced to
the deacon of one of the City churches, who had a large family, not one of whom
were converted, and who, on being informed of the happy condition of the Birmingham
family, said “Well you know we can’t give grace to our children.” “Oh.
No?”, replied the Birmingham brother, “but we can use the means in our
possession to make them Christians”.
When the fact came out that the youngest child was only ten years old,
the City deacon shook his head. “Ah!”
he said, “I don't believe in forcing people into the church”. “Nor do I” was the response, “I did all I
dare do, and said all I dare say, but what could anyone do or say, but simply
let her profess her faith in Christ just as other people do?”
I know that one of
the greatest stumbling blocks is cast in the way of families by the idea that
to expect the early conversion of children, is to say the least, rather
enthusiastic. “The idea of a ten year
old child being converted, why we can’t believe it!” But suppose I were to preach the funeral sermon of a ten year old
boy and said, “he has gone to hell, no doubt”.
“What makes you say so?” You
would ask. I would respond, “Why,
otherwise you are pretending that the child is not a sinner at ten years of
age!” This is the greatest error that
can be entertained. If a child is
intelligent enough to sin, isn’t it intelligent enough to be converted? If not, what becomes of children old enough
to sin, but not old enough to be converted?
The fact is that it is easier, so to speak, for the Holy Spirit to convert
a child, than it is for Him to convert an adult. Now, let me ask you, what stands in the way of a child’s conversion? When its little conscience first wakes up,
sin takes such a twinging hold of it that it goes into the greatest agony at
the thought of it. This is natural; for
the little conscience has not yet been trifled and tampered with.
Now,
can’t the Spirit of God teach such children?
What? Can’t those who understand
the nature of faith in the parent understand the nature of faith in God? Can’t those who understand parental protection
and love, understand the protection and love of their heavenly Father? Can’t those who know so well how to depend
on a parent, depend on God? Yes, they
surely can and they can do it more easily when they are young, than if they
wait until they have learned, from contact with the world, to mistrust
everybody and everything. Can’t they,
whose tender hearts are so ready to trust, be taught to exercise faith in
Christ? Why, this is the most likely
time in their lives. It is much more
likely that they will be converted at an early age than it would be if you
allow them to grow up and form bad habits.
Those habits would have been more easily corrected if you had used the
best and earliest means to prevent their formation. The fact is the Spirit of God is always ready to cooperate with
the judicious use of whatever means are necessary to achieve that end. God is just as ready to cooperate with
children as with adults. But parents
allow children to grow up and escape from under their influence with the false
impression that this is not true. I
have observed that, the more parents have intelligently used the best means in
their power to secure the early conversion of their children, the more they
been successful in their endeavors. But
when the opposite has been the case, I have not been surprised to find that the
children grow up to manhood and womanhood unconverted.
I
have sometimes asked parents if they ever made it a great pressing business to
secure the early conversion of their children.
“Oh no; we never decided to make it a priority to secure them for God”.
You didn't, huh? Then is it any wonder
that they are not converted? There are
millions of people, who must admit that they never seriously promoted the conversion
of their children and secured it under God.
If I had time, I could tell you hundreds of cases, where such sons and
daughters have turned out badly.
Oh! What stories I have listened
to of the awful results of the neglect of parents concerning this matter!
2). Many people entertain ideas of God’s
sovereignty that are a great stumbling block preventing the early conversion of
their children.
The man who said, “We can’t give grace to our children” definitely had an idea that God’s sovereignty was, in some way, particularly connected with conversion. Such people associate God’s sovereignty with conversion differently than they associate it with anything else. In everything else, they make an effort, as if there was a connection between the means and the end in God’s government. But not concerning conversion. They seem to take it for granted that there is no connection between the means and the end in the act of conversion; that God sets aside, in the conversion of men, all the laws by which He invariably operates at other times, and that He exercises a peculiar kind of sovereignty in this particular situation. I am stunned to find that multitudes of people have such ideas of God’s sovereignty and agency. They can’t recognize His hand in anything short of an absolute miracle. For example; a Sunday school teacher goes and talks to a child in such a way that it makes a deep impression on its little mind. The child awakes to a deep sense of sin and the importance of religion. But what does the parent say? “Don’t talk to my child anymore, and we will see whether you have been merely playing on my child's feelings, or whether the spirit has been cooperating.”
The
fact is, the child has been talked to in the very way that produces the desired
effect. If a preacher preaches a
message that affects the minds of his audience in a certain way, ah, then are
you saying that God has nothing to do with it?
So I suppose, according to your idea, in order to recognize God in
something, there can’t be any perceivable relationship between the means and
the end. But, if there really is a
natural and necessary connection between the means and the end, why then isn’t
God recognized unless He performs some act where He is supposed to set aside
this connection, and act in a way that is entirely inconsistent with it? But when people talk this way, why aren’t
they consistent in applying this logic to everything else? If you sit down and talk with a child about
playing marbles, who could expect that such conversation would produce any
religious result? And if a minister
stood in the pulpit and preached about politics, would you expect anybody to be
converted? Therefore, It is important
that the subject of the discussion should have a religious leaning in order to
expect a religious effect. It must not
be a bunch of historical facts that have no connection with what the sinner
needs to do. You can’t expect that to
produce the desired results. The
preacher must press the matter home, until the sinner fully feels that the
preacher is virtually saying, “You are that man”. Ah! And now, what’s this?
“Oh!” you say to the preacher, “you have been playing on his
sympathies”. But if you reason like
that, where should you stop? The fact
is, you can’t and you won’t expect God to convert anyone when there is nothing
relevant in the means used; and if some things need to be relevant in the
method being used, according to your own ideas of divine sovereignty, how much
relevancy is necessary? When God works,
you can’t expect Him to commit any infraction of the laws that He himself has
ordained for the government of the universe; and if God does operate according
to His own laws, why should anyone doubt that He is operating at all? For my part, I am always expecting to see
God work according to His own established laws, and I recognize Him even more,
when I see how nicely He adapts the means to the end.
God
created the mind and established its relationship to truth, and when He
presents the truth to the mind and it is received according to the principles
He has ordained, shouldn’t I recognize the hand of God in this?
Parents
don’t seem to feel that is more important to apply themselves to secure the
early conversion of their children, than to apply themselves to secure their
recovery when they are sick. A little
error in nursing can have a most dangerous influence on the health of a
patient, and a little error in instruction may induce a serious turn in the
thoughts, and, perhaps, present a fatal stumbling block. If God allows an event to take a natural
course in the physical world, He will also allow it in the moral world. Why not?
If a certain law is violated in the physical world, God allows it to
take its natural course. Why should he
adopt a different policy in the moral world?
This is the very way that God’s sovereignty really manifests
itself. If you look around on the
natural world, you will see that God permits tremendous results to turn on the
most trifling violation of natural laws.
A ship will sink, even if it is filled with devoted missionaries, if natural
laws are neglected. In fact, if they
neglect to take a compass or a chart, or some such necessary precaution on the
pretence of trusting in the sovereignty of God, they, in reality, are tempting
God by not taking care to adjust themselves to His physical laws. And that ship, although, as I have said, is
filled with missionaries, it must sink to the bottom! And in such a case, perhaps, the salvation of thousands of souls
might depend on that ship’s reaching its destination safely. The same is true in the moral world. Let mother or father make a mistake, either
physical or moral; in one instance, it may mean death to the body; in the
other, death to the soul. This is the
teaching of the Bible, and it is borne out by experience. Men should know that they could just as certainly
ruin the soul, as they can kill the body.
3)
Care should be taken not to cause the child to stumble through bad government,
or no government at all.
Some govern their families too much; others not at all. Now I would like to write a book on this subject, instead of talking to you for half an hour. It is really dreadful to see. Often the spirit of the whole family government is such that it makes a false impression. It is not a Christian government, a government of love. It is not the firm spirit of God’s government. It is either despotism on the one hand, or no government at all on the other hand. In other cases, half of the time it is too strict, and the other half it is too lax.
Every
impression that is made affects the children’s attitude towards religion. If the general impression of your behavior
should lead them to understand that you stand in God’s place for their benefit,
you cannot conceive the importance of thus seizing their little minds and will,
and bringing them under proper control at the earliest age possible. Oh!
That little will! If that little
will is not subdued, what will it cost that child to be converted, if he ever
is converted? When parents permit the
will to pass un-subdued, their little ones get into such a habit of self-will,
that it makes it extremely doubtful whether they will ever bow either to God or
man. To say the least, it will make it
far more difficult for them to do so, than it would have been had the parents
pursued a different course. When I see children in agony because their
separation from God has brought them condemnation and sorrow, and still, they
are unable to fully yield and come into the kingdom, I always suspect they have
never been properly taught to yield to parental authority when they were
children. It is of the utmost
importance to take hold of this will, as soon as it develops itself, and hold
it as the representative of the Almighty, to exert the first moral influence
under God’s moral government. Take hold
of that little will kindly, and hold it as a sacred trust under God. Hold it so kindly and firmly by parental
authority and love; that it is, as it were, lost in your will, and controlled
by it. Even a look, or a motion of the
hand, when understood, should be immediately and willingly obeyed; and when
time goes on, when the child can understand about God, give the whole weight of
your will to lead the child’s will to submit to God.
Did
you ever realize what a powerful influence you posses? Where the little will from the beginning,
has been held under control, and the child is old enough to be talked to about
God, bring all your powers to bear on him, to encourage him to yield itself up
to God, and you will find yourself, as it were, almost handing your child over
to God. I could tell you some
extraordinary things of the amazing power of parents in this position, and how
God uses this influence to accomplish His purposes. Don’t think that because your influence is used as a means, that
God has nothing to do with it. He has
placed you where you are, in order to use you.
He has stationed you there to watch over the development of that little
will, and to control it gently, so that in due season you may be prepared to
hand your child over to God through the teaching of the Holy Ghost.
Fathers, you are
called to do this great work! Let your
parental heart draw the little one close to it, and let your mind draw the
little mind into close connection with it, and let the little will be, as far
as possible, subject to and guided by your will. Do it with prayer before God, and you won’t have to fear failure. As soon as that little will can be
influenced by religious truth, pour the truth into it with all the weight of
your parental authority, and carry that will to God.
A Christian lady
once told me that she had found her daughter under conviction of sin. “I have so trained her”, she said, “from her
infancy, that she regards my will as her law; a look from me is enough. At first, I did not properly understand my
relationship with her had anything to do with her conversion. However, as soon as the thought came before
my mind that I could exert a direct and powerful influence in the matter, and
that the Spirit of God would use that influence, I took the child with me to my
closet, and prayed with her. There, I
showed her that it was her duty to yield herself to Christ. I talked and prayed with her, and urged the
matter in this light, ‘Now, my child, you never hesitate to obey your mother in
other things, and I want you now at once to take your eyes off yourself, and
give yourself fully up to Christ’.”
Before they left the closet, she said she had reason to believe that her
child had truly given herself up to God.
She said, “Never before had I any idea that the Spirit of God would so
use this influence”.
Now
listen; this is not that type of authority that would threaten to spank a
child! But, proper parental influence
can influence the little mind with an amazing power; and when the whole weight
of this parental influence is concentrated on the single question of “my child, give your heart this moment to
Christ”, what human influence can be more powerful? And this, of course, is backed up by the word of God, and
seconded by the Spirit of God; all this in addition to that will to which the
child has always been accustomed to yield.
I have seen the infinite importance of this not only in my own, but also
in many other families.
4).
Parents who lose their temper will likely cause their children to stumble.
It
destroys the confidence the child has in their piety, and causes him to doubt
their sincerity; and thus the parents lose their hold on him. Few things more surely and speedily destroy
the influence of a parent than to scold children angrily, or even to snap at
them and call them cruel names.
Anything that smells of ill temper has a dreadfully powerful influence
in leading children away from Christ, and counteracting well-meant endeavors.
5).
Parents must be careful to feel and show concern for their spiritual welfare,
for if they don’t, a child at that age can’t be expected to feel concern for
himself.
Suppose a parent
was truly concerned with keeping a child out of bad company, he would keep this
before the mind of the child. If he was
concerned for his health he would keep that before the little one, and teach
him how to take care of his health. The
same is true with anything else like this.
Now the parent should feel and demonstrate a strong interest in the
child’s salvation. Let your conversations
clearly indicate that it is true. Let
your children see that health, worldly prospects, and everything else must be
subordinate to religion. Do these
things, and you are starting off on the right foot; and by a natural law you
can expect to see their early conversion.
6).
Parents often make a grave mistake when they don’t make sure that their
children are punctual and regular at public worship.
I have been in a
great many churches, and have known the history of a great many families. Sometimes I have found households, the
children of which were both punctual and regular. At chapel, you would see in the pews where some families sat, all
the children that were able to come out were always there. They sat where their parents sat. They felt that they were no more expected to
be excused from chapel when their parents went, than from the dinner
table. It was something expected; they
were not allowed to wander around and excuse themselves, their parents not knowing
where they went; for where this is allowed, parents have little or no religious
influence over them. Parents must also
guard against laxity with reference to the due observance of the Lord’s
Day. It is not right to throw up
everything into the hands of the sovereignty of God, assuming that sovereignty
alone will convert them, no matter what influence may be brought to bear on
them. There is no greater falsehood
than this. A more damning error has
never entered the world. It is true
that other influences may possibly convert the child, just like other
influences may save the child in sickness, but no thanks to the parents in
either case.
I must mention one
more thing concerning parents. They
don’t do enough to make their home happy; and the children, not finding
friendship and sympathy at home, run around somewhere else in search of
it. Their home is not a happy one, and
so they wander the streets, and fall under bad influences. Now a happy home is one of the most
important things that a parent should aim for.
The home should be made so pleasant that the child would rather remain
at home than wander the streets. Dear
parents! Are you aware how often a
child’s life is embittered by the neglect of this? They must be made happy, and have something to love at home, or
they will naturally seek company and happiness somewhere else. Oh!
If parents would see the importance of using every means they can devise
to secure and retain their proper influence over the little minds! Their feelings towards you should be such
that they would rather tell you their little thoughts than anybody else. Fathers are more likely to neglect this than
mothers are; children often seem afraid of their fathers, so that they can’t
tell him the workings of their little minds.
He treats them with a kind of despotism, displays no interest in their
little concerns; and since he does not sympathize with them, they turn to
someone else. Thus, those whose hearts
should always be in sympathy with them have shut them out; and what do they
do? They turn away and fall under some
other influence, and they are gone! How
many parents, who have had to lament the evil conduct of their children, who,
if they could look back, might attribute it largely to this! The father has been sharp, has not kept his
influence over their little hearts.
Oh! How often religious people,
and even ministers, have been so busy with other matters, that they have neglected
their children in this respect, and have so shut them out, as it were, from
their hearts, that they have fallen into other hands, and under evil influences.
Now,
dear parents, one of the first things God wants you to do, is
to secure and keep the affections and confidence of your children, and to use
your influence over them for Him. In
order to keep their hearts open to you, let your heart be open to them. Let them know that if there is any burden on
their minds, you will be the very first to sympathize with them. You will surely secure your end if you do
so. But on the other hand, if they are
afraid to approach you because you keep them at such a distance, then, if they
are not ruined, no thanks to you. And instead of telling you all the
temptations and trials they fall into, all their plans, and the books they
read; instead of feeling that in you they have advisers who can and will
sympathize with them; they will manifest the same reserve to you on these
matters that you have displayed to them.
If this is true, you have failed in a vital point. I wish time wouldn’t go so fast because I
have ten times more than this to say.
Another point I want to mention is, the evil
practice of allowing children to wander out wherever they want to in the
evening. Now, as I have said, if you
would make your home what it should be, they would never want to do this; they
would rather be with you than anywhere; but if you allow them to go out and
keep late hours, they are sure to go in the direction of temptation. I have often seen too, the injurious
influence of holidays being so numerous and protracted, and of the difference
parents make at such times concerning to their control over the children. They are allowed to do things then, because
it is a holiday, which you would not permit at other times, and this leads them
astray. But I can’t dwell on this point
just now, time forbids; but the holidays are near, and what will be your influence
over them during that period? Parents,
think of this!
Parents
should always be wide awake to secure the conversion of their children during
revivals of religion. If I had time, I
could tell you many remarkable things, which I have witnessed, concerning families
who have allowed revivals to take place and pass away without trying to use
this opportunity to turn them in a positive direction. Sometimes the parents themselves will not
even go to these revivals, although they are professing Christians; on the
contrary, many speak against them, or snub it because of something connected
with the movement; and thus, as far as their influence is concerned, they shut
the children out from blessings they might otherwise probably have
received. Other people, although they
do not actually speak against it, refrain from entering into the work. They come and go again and again, and while
multitudes are blessed they never seem to take an interest in subject. They have never tried to secure a blessing
for themselves and their households.
They never seem to say, “Oh,
shouldn’t Christ visit our family”?
They pass it by, and let it go.
In fact, it amounts to this: Christ comes into the neighborhood and
passes through, but they never invite Him into their house, and they, with
their households, are passed by and remain unblessed. I have inquired into some of these cases, and have discovered
that the children often turn out badly.
This is true, I believe in eight cases out of ten.
Several
years ago, I spent a short time in Philadelphia, and knew a family that did
this. The husband and wife were both
professing Christians, but she was a worldly-minded woman. He felt considerably for his children, and I
talked with him on the subject several times.
He very delicately hinted to me that his wife did not sympathize with
the movement, and that the daughters were under her influence, and like-minded
with her, and regarded her opinion in preference to his. Now, listen: I asked about this family some
years later, and what had become of them?
One of the daughters had married, and after a year or two left her
husband and ran off with another man.
Some time later, the others went in the same direction. All of them turned out in a wretched
manner. And this is only an example of
many cases, which I have personally witnessed.
It is therefore of
the utmost importance that children should be immediately brought to Christ. The parents should say, “Now, Lord Jesus,
You are passing by. Have mercy on my
children”! If you have, up until now,
exerted an improper influence, try to immediately repair the evil done as well
as you can. Do all that lies in your
power; set your heart fully on securing the conversion of your children, and do
it now! Begin at once with all your
children, and especially those that have reached an intelligent age; and
oh! I beseech you, do not let the
Spirit manifest itself in this church and congregation, while you remain
distant from the work! What do you
think the Almighty will say about your family?
What do you think He will say if you have not taken precautions to
preserve yourselves when the destroying angel visits, by sprinkling the blood
on the lintels and posts of your doors?
Do everything according to the rule that God has laid down; if you
don’t, when the destroying angel passes by, what will become of you and your
family?
But I cannot
continue these remarks tonight. There
are thousands of things I could say, but I must save them for a future
opportunity.