The Oberlin Evangelist
THE SIN OF FRETFULNESS
January 15, 1845
Modernized by Cliff
Collins
“Do not fret because of evildoers.” (Psalm 37:1)
Definition:
To fret means: 1) to be vexed or troubled, to worry, 2) to move agitatedly,
3) to gnaw with the teeth in the manner of a rodent.
The gospel commands us to possess meekness and
patience. However, fretfulness is the
opposite of meekness and patient endurance.
In discussing this passage, I will show--
I. Why we should not fret because of evildoers.
II. How do we avoid fretting?
I. Why shouldn’t we fret because of evildoers?
1. Because, when we become annoyed by the evil that
others do, we do evil ourselves. Many
people seem to think that it is OK to fret when other people sin: for they
think that it satisfies some kind of need to manifest a holy indignation and
zeal for the Lord of Hosts; and so they would say with Jonah, “It is right for
me to be angry”. (See Jonah 4:4) But, such people should remember that in
fretting at others for their sins, they are abusing God themselves. This is a very good reason why they should
abstain from fretting, because if they fret, they are adding sin of their own
to the sins of the individual that they are fretting over.
2. Another reason why we should not fret because of
evildoers is that it will do no good.
It certainly can’t do us any good to fret. It certainly cannot benefit the person we fret at. It does not promote the glory of God, nor
does it advance His kingdom in any way.
Why then should we fret?
3. The third reason why we should not fret because
of evildoers is that it will only add trouble to trouble. Fretting will do us tremendous evil. It will destroy our own peace. It will break up our communion with
God. Fretting will quench the spirit of
prayer in our own hearts. It will bring
us into condemnation It will destroy
our confidence in God, and destroy our respect for ourselves. It will, in every way, lead to the harm of
our own souls.
Fretting will do great evil to others. Fretting strongly tends to harm the person
we annoy. Fretting only exasperates him
and tends to make him fret in return.
Fretting has no tendency to reform his heart, but rather it has a
tendency to aggravate his wickedness.
Fretting tends to harm all who witness our
fretting. It is a stumbling block to
them. And perhaps our fretting is a
greater stumbling block to them than the evil those people do who we fret over. Fretting at the evil others do only tends to
cause trouble. It is dishonorable to
God, and a clear lack of confidence in Him.
Fretting, in every way tends, to damage His kingdom.
4. If we manifest a sweet and patient spirit towards
evildoers, it has a great tendency to do them good. It also has a strong tendency to prevent the harm their evil
does. If, when they do evil, we should
do good and manifest a Christian spirit, or a Christian temper. This will offset the evil they do, at least
to some degree. If they dishonor God by
doing evil, and we highly honor God by displaying a heavenly temper, we do
everything we can to retrieve the damage done to the kingdom of God by the
evildoer. His evil doing tends to cause
those around him to stumble. Our doing
good in manifesting a heavenly temper tends to remove that stumbling block. Bystanders will surely say, here is one who
has done a great evil, but someone else just manifested such an excellent
spirit in view of it, that it has strengthened my conviction of the need for
and the excellence of the religion of Jesus Christ.
5. Another reason why we should not fret is that God
allows the evil deeds to occur under the providence of His infinite wisdom and
love. God has chosen not to prevent it,
but on the other hand, He allows it rather than to change the administration of
His government in such a way that it prevents that evil-doing from
occurring. God saw this situation as
the lesser of two evils; and we should consider that no evil is done which God
can wisely prevent. No evil exists
under the government of God but what He allows as the lesser of two evils. God permits many things that occur daily in
order to prevent greater evil; and, overall, it was wise and benevolent for God
to allow that thing to occur rather than to have interfered to prevent it from
happening. Why then, should we fret
about it?
6. Another good reason why we should not fret over
evil that is done, is because God makes provision to overrule that evil doing
for His glory and the highest good of His kingdom. “Surely the wrath of man shall praise You; with the remainder of
wrath You shall gird Yourself.” (Psalm
76:10) God takes the evil in the
universe into account in His great plan to promote the highest good of
everything that exists. He saw that in
the wisest possible moral system He could not prevent all evil. As a result, what He could not wisely
prevent He overruled for His own glory.
We can easily see, in a great many situations, how God overrules the
most flagrant transgressions to promote His glory.
Look at the conduct of Judas when he betrayed Christ,
and the wickedness of Satan in that situation.
These were among the most flagrant transgressions the world ever saw,
and yet they were instrumental in laying the cornerstone of man’s
salvation. God took advantage of these
transgressions to highly honor Himself and to benefit the universe. Now although we cannot see how God does this
in every situation, yet we may rest assured that every sin that ever does occur
or ever can occur shall in some way be overruled to promote the glory of
God. No thanks to the sinner! He never intended anything like that. The sinner is perfectly free and
responsible, and he deserves the punishment of God just as much as though there
were no overruling providence to bring good out of his intended evil. But, the fact that his evil will be
overruled, is an excellent reason why we should not fret about it.
7. Another reason why we should not fret is that
Satan’s goal is to make us fret. He
clearly understands the damage that we will receive from fretting, and he
understands the great evil that fretting does to the government of God. Satan is an enemy to human happiness, and he
loves to disturb our peace. He loves to
cause others to stumble and to see God dishonored; and he clearly understands
that few things are more hateful in the sight of God and more destructive to
all good than fretting. Therefore, it
is an important goal for him to promote as much fretfulness as possible. But, shall we gratify the devil?
8. Another reason why we should not fret is, that
the very evil doing that we become upset over, God’s providence often allows as
one of the means of perfecting the grace of patience in us. Mother, did you ever consider that God uses
the trying conduct of your children to perfect the grace of patience in your
soul? The Apostle James says, “My
brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the
testing of your faith produces patience.
But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and
complete, lacking nothing.” All those
things that will likely annoy us, all occur under God’s government, and are all
parts of those means God uses to perfect holiness within us.
9. The evil doing of others provides a good
opportunity for us to glorify God. If,
when we see others do evil, we display a God-like temper, this highly honors
God. What can be more honorable for a
man under severe trials, than to display the temper of Christ? When did Christ Himself ever shine more
gloriously than under His severest trials?
The temper that Jesus demonstrated, was more glorious to God, and
reflected more of the divine beauty of His character, than was manifested perhaps
under any other circumstances. The same
is true when the evil that others do greatly tries us. God gives us an opportunity to display God’s
divine temper to the world around us.
10. Fretting is a sign of unbelief. However, if we only realize that the hand of
God is concerned, either directly or indirectly, with everything that occurs;
if we firmly believe this, we shall not fret over what happens around us. No man who practically believes in the
universal providence of God will fret over the occurrences around him anymore
than he would fret at God Himself. He
will see that fretting over these occurrences is fretting at God, and scolding
someone because he did something wrong, is virtually scolding God. God certainly is, in some way, concerned
about everything that occurs. God is
not so concerned, that He is willing to diminish the blameworthiness of the
evildoer; but He is so concerned, that, in a sense, He has done it. “Is there evil in the city and the Lord hath
not done it?” (See Jer 22:7; 19:3,15;
21:10; 39:16-18) “I make peace, and
create evil: I the Lord do all these things.”
(Isaiah 45:7) I know that people
usually don’t realize that they fret at God Himself when they fret at His
providence, yet they are really fretting at God, and if it weren’t for their
unbelief, they would immediately be aware of it.
11. Fretfulness is an expression of self-will. No man frets at what occurs around him, if
his will is swallowed up in God’s will.
If a man has a will of his own, and he is determined to
have his own way, he will fret at anything that crosses his path and opposes
what he wants to do. But if his will is
lost in God’s will, he will recognize God’s universal providence, and because
he has no will of his own, he will sweetly submit to all the providences around
him. He will blame the sinner and
justify God in allowing the evil, rather than trying to prevent it. He will look on God’s providence as
something that God allows for wise and benevolent reasons, and he will consider
it highly absurd to fret at anything that occurs under God’s infinitely wise
and benevolent providence.
12. It is un-Godlike to fret at evildoers. God never frets, so why should we fret? Yet it is God’s job, rather than our job, to
resent wickedness. If anybody is
injured, vengeance belongs to the Lord, and not to us. However, if God has good reasons for not
fretting at what happens, surely we don’t need to fret about it. Certainly, what happens concerns God
infinitely more than it concerns us.
When any trial comes our way, we should always ask ourselves, now what
does God think about this trial? Does
He lose His patience, and allow Himself to fret? Who would not be shocked at the idea that God frets over anything
that happens? Why then, should we fret?
13. Fretting destroys our own peace. Who doesn’t know that even a little bit of
fretting instantly breaks up our peace of mind, brings a cloud over our spirit,
and throws our soul into darkness? What
Christian does not know this by his own experience? It is remarkable how easily our peace is destroyed. The least stirring of impatience from within
us, even if we indulge in that impatience even for only a moment, brings our
spirit into rough waters, stirs up the sediment, and turns our soul into a
troubled sea, at least for a while.
14. Fretting also destroys the peace of others. A fretful man is a great nuisance to
everyone around him. Fretting seems to
be contagious. If parents fret at their
children, the children are almost certain to fret in return. If husbands fret at their wives, or wives
fret at their husbands, the other is almost certain to fret in return, and thus
the peace of the whole household will be continually destroyed by the wickedness
of one fretful member.
15. Fretting grieves the Holy Spirit. He will not live where there is a fretful
spirit. We are shocked and grieved if
we go to a neighbor’s house and find them all fretting. We feel embarrassed and uneasy, and if we
find them at one another’s throats, we return home distressed and
disgusted. And won’t the Holy Spirit be
grieved away from us, if we allow ourselves to fret in His presence?
16. It destroys our influence when we fret. A fretful person can have very little
Christian influence in any community. A
fretful parent never governs his family well.
A fretful minister, a fretful neighbor, in short, anyone who frets,
destroys his Christian influence.
Our common sense tells us that fretting is the
opposite of a Christian temper. And no
one can have much confidence in the piety of anyone who is in the habit of
fretting. Many professing Christian parents
have lost all their Christian influence over their own household, simply by
indulging in this sin. Visit any family
you want to, where either one or both of the parents are professing Christians,
and if they are in the habit of fretting, you will generally find that their
children are unconverted. They have
caused their family to stumble, and they remain in their sins.
Fretting destroys our influence with God. A professing Christian who frets can never
prevail with God in prayer. We will
lose all of the influence of our prayers and efforts, and all of our labors to
convert others, if they know that we are always fretting.
17. Constantly annoying others compels others to
hate us. Hardly anything is more
hateful than fretting. Our nature is
such, that, although we may pity annoying people, yet we cannot but hate them. God both pities and hates them, just like He
pities and hates the devil. If a mother
constantly frets at her children, they won’t love her. A family never loves their fretful
father. Instead, they secretly hate
him. A fretful husband or wife is never
loved by the other party. If a man has
a wife who is in the habit of fretting, he will find, as time goes by, that he
neither respects nor loves her.
Although he may be loving towards her, yet he can’t regard her with a
satisfactory love. Instead, he will
secretly loathe her, because she is always worrying and brooding. The same is true with the wife. If she has a fretful husband, she may fear
him, she may pity him, but she cannot love him with satisfaction.
18. Fretting compels others to dread our
presence. The presence of a fretful
person is always dreaded. Hardly
anything is more annoying and loathsome than a fretful spirit. The children always dread the presence of a
fretful father or mother, or of a fretful brother or sister so much that if a
fretful member of the family is away from home, they secretly dread his or her
return.
19. Another reason why we should not fret is, God
will take care of the evildoers. The
verse immediately following our passage says: “For they shall soon be cut down like
the grass, and wither as the green herb.”
They are in the hands of God. He
will take care so that He will dispose of them in such a way that it will
promote His own glory. Therefore, we
don’t need to become distressed over their evil doings.
The evil they do only lasts for a short time. The verse I just read says: “they shall soon
be cut down like the grass”. The
triumph of the wicked is short, and the evil he does in this life only lasts
for a moment. God will remove him just
as soon as He sees that it is wise to do so.
When God can no longer overrule that person’s wickedness to promote the
general good, He will cut him off and take him out of the way. We often wonder why evildoers live so long,
and why God allows them to provoke His majesty for so many years, and to
scatter firebrands, arrows, and death throughout the world. But we have no reason to wonder at this,
because God sees the end from the beginning, and He allows them to live and do
evil just as long as He can squeeze good out of their evil, and no longer. And should they live a thousand times longer
than they do, and do a thousand times more evil as they do, we still would have
no reason to fret, for God will manage the whole matter in a way that will promote
the highest good of all His created beings.
20. Another reason why we should not fret at
evildoers is that they are among the “all things that work together for good of
those who fear God”. (Romans 8:28) We can often see that the trials that we
fall into, the temptations of Satan, and the wickedness of men around us, are
working together, as a whole, to build us up and help us grow in grace. Thus, we learn many lessons that we could
not learn any other way. What Christian
has not thanked God because a temptation or an attack from Satan lead to his
growth or improvement in his relationship with the Lord? Or, if Christians have not thanked God, what
Christian has no reason to thank God? I
can clearly see that from my greatest trials, I have often learned my most
useful lessons. And I have often had to
thank God for all the abuses and temptations of wicked men and devils.
21. Another reason why we should not fret is that
the things that we fret over, are not worth fretting about. By this, I don’t mean that the sins of
evildoers are not great and grievous sins, and that those sins should not be
hated and deplored all by themselves; but I mean that, on the whole,
considering the overruling providence of God and all the circumstances of the
situation, they are not worth fretting over.
If we could see the end from the beginning as God sees it, there is no
doubt that we would see that this is true.
If they were worth fretting over, God would fret over them. But, if God is perfectly calm and unruffled
by them, if He does not have any good reasons for being impatient and fretful
over such things, we may rest assured that there is no reason why we should get
upset over them.
22. The last reason I will mention is that fretting
makes us the very sport of Satan.
Indulging in fretfulness can soon turn fretting into a powerful habit,
and once fretting becomes a habit, we become easy pray for Satan’s
attacks. Satan then knows that he can
seduce us away from our steadfastness at any time, and bring us into
bondage. And because he is such an
enemy to our peace, and to our souls, he will infernally enjoy spending many
leisure hours causing us to fret. He
would love to throw us into a storm of worry and agitation, and then tell about
what he has done to us in hell, and generate laughter in the infernal regions
at the fact that we profess religion, and yet we can be provoked to fret and
worry so easily.
II. It is now time for me to show you how to avoid
fretting.
1. If you want to avoid fretting, sink deep into the
will of God. Acknowledge and consider
the universal providence of God. And
know, that He is working all things after the counsel of His own will. Therefore,
sink into His will and learn to be sweetly and universally submissive. This is a sure antidote against fretting.
2. Have faith in the wisdom and love of God’s
providences. Settle down with your
whole heart on the truth that everything that does or can occur, occurs under
the direct or indirect control of infinite wisdom and love. Let this be settled as an ever-present
truth, as stable as the foundations of the universe, that nothing ever did, or
ever will occur in God’s universe, that is not allowed, and, in some sense
brought about by the direction of infinite wisdom and goodness; that all this
is perfectly consistent with the freedom and blame-worthiness of evildoers.
3. Maintain self control. It is extremely important to cultivate the habit of being calm
and maintaining self-control, under the various trials that surround is. It is often important not to allow yourself
to speak one word until you have had time to think, and time to lift up your
heart to God in prayer. Sometimes when
I have felt that I had to say something (to a person who had an irritable
temper) and I was afraid that he might fret over my words, I find it helpful to
begin what I had to say with requesting that the person not say one word, nor
speak about what I tell him, until he had had time to think and pray about
it. In such situations, I have noticed
that people will seldom fret when they come back lalter to talk about it. However, if they immediately reply, their
temper will probably overcome them.
If Christian parents have anything to communicate to
their children that they know will quickly upset them, they will probably find
it helpful to ask them not to respond right away. In fact, have them promise you that they will not respond until
they have had time to think and pray about it.
A person should cultivate the habit of considering the reasons why they
should not be irritated by the circumstances around them.
4. Another excellent antidote against fretting is to consider, properly and habitually, the consequences of your own faults. No man frets at the faults of others if he properly considers his own faults. All you have to do is be well aware, at all times, of what your own character and your own faults have been, and it will teach you to be very compassionate and considerate concerning fretting at the faults of others.
5. Also meditate a lot on God’s forbearance. I love to consider the infinite calmness of
God’s divine mind, in view of everything that the human race does to provoke
God to anger. His infinite patience,
His long-suffering and kindness to evildoers, is what I love to consider. It is extremely important for all Christians
to get into the habit of seriously reflecting on God’s divine character and
conduct concerning this.
6. If you want to avoid fretting, spend some time
reflecting on the meekness, forbearance, and long-suffering of Christ.
Nothing can prevent or subdue a fretful spirit
better than to ask yourself how Christ would behave under these
circumstances. Under all the abuse that
wicked men and devils heaped on Him, Jesus was never known to fret at all. And how His apostles would have been shocked
if they had ever witnessed impatience in Him!
And how they must have admired and adored the sweetness of His temper,
His meekness, and His long-suffering in the midst of all His trials. How they must have admired His kind and
compassionate treatment of His greatest enemies. And when they heard Him on the cross praying for His murderers,
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”. (Luke 23:34) What could prevent them from fretting at those who do evil, if
remembering the temper that Christ displayed would not do it?
7. If you want to avoid fretting, avoid all undue
excitement as much as possible.
We tend to imagine that religion consists in highly
excited emotions and feelings. However,
true religion consists in the state of our heart or will. A highly excited state of our emotions is
often a very dangerous state.
Therefore, cultivate, as far as possible, a spirit of calmness, if you
want to avoid fretting. I have always
noticed, in myself and in others, that when we become highly excited, even on
the subject of religion, we can easily divert our feelings in the wrong
direction. God’s mind is calm. Christ’s mind was generally very calm; and
what Christian does not know that when he has sunk into the will of God the
most, and is truly religious and consecrated to God the most, his mind is like
a sea of love, and is calm like the heart of God. See the Christian on his deathbed, lying at the very gate of
heaven. See how calm his countenance
is. See how peaceful he looks. See how sweet and calm his temper is. Even his pulse is steady and normal. Everything about him speaks of someone who
is full of holy calm. Cultivate that
state of mind; it is a great antidote against fretting.
8. If you want to avoid fretting, stop looking at
the negative side of things. Consider
the virtues as well as the vices of those around you. Always dwell on the good and not on the bad qualities of those
people you associate with. It is a
dangerous thing for us to dwell too much on the evil doings of those around
us. The tendencies of certain people
and the results of certain things that people do often surprise me. Many of the Adventists and other people who
have come out of Churches today, as well as many radicals, seem to be
completely occupied with concentrating on the great wickedness of the church
and of the world; and this has clearly led them away from God. Great multitudes of them don’t seem to be
aware of it at all, but if any of them were saved, they must come to realize
the fact that they have fallen away from God.
And, if I am not totally mistaken, the way they fell, was by exclusively
focusing on the wickedness of the world and church, to the point where they
finally got into the spirit of cursing both.
A good brother, who was familiar with one of the
principal defenders of the doctrine of Annihilation (which is, that everything
evil must be destroyed), said, “Until I saw him I could not understand how he
ended up falling into that error, but after I heard him preach I understood
how. It was clear that he had the spirit
of annihilation in him. The only thing
he could see was the dark side of the picture; and the evils that were in the
world seemed to occupy all his thoughts”.
Now let me say this is a dangerous and wicked state of mind, and if you
want to avoid fretting, learn to look on the bright side of the picture, and
see the good that is in the world, and learn what God is doing to promote the
happiness and holiness of man. Consider
the virtues of those around you and whatever is praiseworthy. Understand what Paul says in Philippians
4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are
honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever
things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any
virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
9. Make allowances for such things as the
circumstances and education of evildoers.
Consider the circumstances under which they act, their lack of light,
and many other things that often greatly moderate the tendencies of their
conduct and make us fret.
10. Remember that they have sinned against God and
not against you. The government of the
universe is not committed to you. The
kingdom belongs to the Lord; all things are His. He has made all things for Himself. He has even made the wicked for the day of evil; and by any
means, you don’t need to take on yourself the responsibility of managing God’s
affairs, nor allow yourselves to fret because things don’t go as you want them
to go. God will secure the ends of His
own government, without you having to get all stirred up and passionate about
it.
11. Don't allow yourselves to spend a lot of time
thinking about the evil those around you do.
If someone abuses you, don’t dwell on it. Pray for the evildoer and dismiss it from your thoughts, lest it
becomes too great a temptation for you to handle.
12. Pray for evildoers. You can never fret at anyone you are sincerely and earnestly
praying for. Fretting at an evildoer
and earnestly praying for him, are inconsistent with each other.
13. Labor to save their souls, and cultivate
compassion toward them. If you are
deeply engaged in pulling them out of the fire, if you are motivated by a great
love and compassion for their souls, you will not likely fret at them.
14. Beware of trusting in mere resolutions that you
make in your own strength that you will not fret. Such resolutions are as good as air. They promise a lot in the absence of temptation, but are of no
value at all in the time of trial.
15. Reflect on the wickedness of fretting at
evildoers. Consider how absurd and
wicked it is for you to add sin to sin.
How ridiculous it is that, just because someone else sins, you have to
get mad about it, and thus perhaps commit a sin that is even worse that the sin
that you fret over.
16. Realize that fretting is a waste of time. Please consider that it is useless for you
to fret.
17. Also, consider the great evil of fretting. It only makes matters worse; for what will
those around you say? They will say
this: “One person has committed an evil and others are fretting over it”. Thus, the last evil is worse than the first.
18. Consider what an excellent opportunity it
provides for you to honor God. Consider
that the greater the provocation the more highly you can honor God by
manifesting a right spirit. This is
what God does. The more provoking the
conduct of His enemies are, the more He takes the opportunity to honor Himself
by exhibiting a proper spirit in view of that conduct. If their sin is great, God demonstrates that
His patience and forbearance are equal to their sin, and He remains calm. Now consider that when evildoers do the
worst they can possibly do, it provides you with the most excellent opportunity
to demonstrate the spirit and temper of Christ. If you demonstrate the spirit and temper of Christ, the more
provoking and outrageous the conduct of evildoers is, the more you will honor
God. If you will take this view of the
subject, surely, you will not fret, but rather, you will praise the Lord for
these opportunities to glorify His name.
19. Consider the comparative lightness of your
trials after all. Consider what your
trials amount to when compared with the trials that Christ, the Apostles, and
the martyrs have had. Their admirable
spirit under these trials was the most convincing argument that anyone could
use in favor of the religion of Christ.
Now, what are your trials compared with theirs?
20. Work hard to improve your trials to the glory of
God. As I have just said, your trials
provide an excellent opportunity for you to glorify God. Therefore, make up your mind right now, that
by the strength of God and by His grace, you will improve these occasions to
His glory.
21. Work and pray that your sensitivity will become
so calm, so meek, and so stable that it will enable you to keep your soul patiently
no matter what happens.
22. Consider the declared purpose of these
trials. The Bible everywhere represents
these trials as designed to test our faith.
Please understand that, here on earth, you are in a school of
discipline, preparing for opportunities to be useful in another world. And understand, that although you may not
see the wisdom of those dispensations which try you now, yet when you arrive at
the time when you are transformed to those spheres of influence and usefulness
that you are preparing for right now, you will see the perfect wisdom of God in
making you pass through these fiery trials.
God does nothing in vain. All
these things are parts of the necessary discipline that we must pass
through. This world is a great school,
and every servant of God must receive his degree. God cannot excuse him from these conflicts because it is by these
trials that God prepares him for glory.
23. Learn with the Psalmist, to place the Lord always
before you. People are very likely to
fret over little things even though they would not fret over great events,
because they don’t see the providence of God in those little things, while in
the big event, they see the providence of God.
Therefore, never forget, that in all things, great and small, the hand
of God is present. Always put God
before you, and fill your mind with the idea, that in everything that occurs,
God is present.
24. Finally, learn to appropriate the grace of
Christ to completely suppress this sin of fretfulness. The providences that develop the spirit of
fretfulness are designed to show us our weakness and the need for the grace of
Christ to perfect the grace of patience in us.
Therefore, you need to learn to grab a hold of Christ so strongly that
Christ keeps you from committing this sin.
The Apostle Paul said, “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of
grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need”. Now God designed grace to help us against
committing sin, since, under God’s providences, one, or more of our weaknesses
and character defects surfaces and becomes exposed. We should, from time to time, appropriate Christ, and believe
that Christ will completely overcome our temptations and defects.
REMARKS.
1. Certain people are, constitutionally, highly
exposed to committing of this sin of fretfulness.
(1.) Those who are highly organized, neat, and orderly,
will very likely fret when they are bought into contact with, or become
intimately associated with someone who is disorganized and sloppy. Here is someone who keeps everything in
order. He has a place for everything,
and everything is in its place. He can
get up at night and put his hand on any book or tool that he wants to use. Now if in business, those around him are
disorganized and sloppy, if they don’t have proper places to put things, and
everything is out of place, it will be very difficult for him. If this person has a wife who is sloppy and
disorganized, whose kitchen looks like a tornado went through it, and whose
house, from the attic to the cellar, is a complete mess, he must have a lot of
grace, or he will constantly be fretting.
Look at that woman, who has to have everything neat,
clean, and in perfect order. Both she
and her house are examples of her perfect order. Her meals are ready at precisely six o’clock. She has a time and place for everything, and
everything must be done at the proper time and in its proper place. Now suppose
her husband kicks off his dirty boots, and leaves them in the middle of the
floor. Suppose he tracks dirt all over
her carpet, throws his dirty clothes all around, leaves a trail of food crumbs
from one room to the next, and everything he does is according to the law of
disorder. In other words, he’s a
slob. Now, unless he can be reclaimed,
and taught a different course of conduct, she almost might as well live with
the devil as with him. He leaves the
doors open, and everything that he touches is out of place. His children take after him. The kitchen help are influenced by his example;
and thus the poor woman feels like she is thrown on the rack, and is tortured
from morning until night. It is very
difficult for such people to live together, and yet God’s providence has
brought them together, and provided them a good opportunity of manifesting, in
these relations, the spirit and temper of Christ; the one to exercise patience,
and the other to mend his ways.
(2.) You throw those who have a strong sense of
right and wrong, into the company of those who have very little sense of right
and wrong, you strongly tempt those you throw into that situation to become impatient. They are often amazed, grieved, and
disgusted with the lack of principle, the loose morality, the lack of
conscientiousness and justice of those around them. They feel their indignation enkindled, and sometimes they are
strongly tempted to rebuke them in a way and in a spirit that would do more
harm than good.
(3.) People with indigestion are highly disposed to
commit this sin. An acid mind naturally
tends to an acid stomach, and where people have weak digestive organs, they
need a lot of grace to keep them from fretting.
(4.) Nervous people also have strong tendencies to
fret. In addition, people who like to
quarrel or argue, tend to fret. You see
a sickly person who is clearly argumentative, be careful about everything you
say and do around him. Generally, he
cannot endure what others can endure, without fretting. When you deal with such a person, be kind
and considerate, be compassionate and forbearing, otherwise you will tempt him
to sin against God.
(5.) An unsubdued will, greatly exposes a person to
the sin of fretfulness. When the will
has not been subdued in childhood or youth, people are very likely, before they
are aware of what they are doing, to fly into a rage whenever their will is
crossed. They are impatient whenever
they can’t have their own way in anything and everything.
(6.) Highly developed feelings and senses, exposes
one to temptation. People, whose
feelings are deep and quick on every subject, need to be on their guard,
otherwise when temptation suddenly attacks them, they might fret. There is a lot of difference among people
concerning this. Some people are
constitutionally much more mild and amiable than others. Some are constitutionally disposed to take
almost everything in stride, while others have a naturally quick, explosive
temper. Their resentments are naturally
quick and strong. These people need
peculiar grace, or they will frequently dishonor God by indulging in an evil
temper.
2. Let me say once more, that it is extremely
important to guard against fretting as a habit. Some people have indulged in it so long they really deserve to be
pointed out as one who is always nagging or criticizing. They truly are nuisances in their
community. I know a man who was a
professing Christian, yet he had yielded to this tendency to fret so often,
that he would sometimes fly into such a rage that he would curse and
swear. Such a professing Christian is a
deep disgrace to the cause he claims to love.
3. Let me say that if you have an irritable temper,
and you often fail, it is because you are striving to overcome this tendency by
mere legal efforts, by the force of your resolutions, prayers, and watchfulness,
instead of committing yourselves, concerning your temper, to the keeping of
Christ. Christ is your keeper. You will never keep yourselves. Unless you commit yourselves to Christ to be
kept from committing this sin, all your resolutions will be fruitless. You will fall as often as you are tempted,
until you become disheartened, and come to Christ.
4. This leads me say that many people have become
very discouraged concerning the possibility of ever overcoming this
temptation. They have prayed against it,
they have fought, and watched, and resolved, and wept, and agonized, and tried
and fallen, and resolved again, and they have repeated their prayers without
success so often that they have sunk down in discouragement. Now, if I am describing you, let me say
that, when you have used all your own resources and exhausted your own
strength, when you are worn out from trying to keep yourselves, I hope you will
learn to trust in Christ. Christ will
keep you, if you will let Him. He will keep
you, if you will not push Him back, and try to keep yourselves. You may not be aware of doing this, but, I
assure you, you do not appropriate the grace of Christ, nor really consent to
give yourself up to be kept by Him, or He would keep you.
5. Again, God in His providence is continually
developing the weaknesses and imperfections of His people, that they may see
their need of one mightier than themselves to save them. Do not be discouraged, when, by His
providence, He tries you, and develops your need for a Savior. But learn to grab a hold of and appropriate
the grace that is provided for you as your remedy.
6. Finally, I love to reflect on the fact that God’s plan embraces all events, that His plan is perfect, that He will do all His good pleasure; that He can do all His pleasure, that the wrath of man shall praise Him, and the remainder of wrath He will restrain. Therefore, we don’t need to make ourselves wretched and unhappy. We don’t need to vex our souls because of anything that occurs in the universe, but let us compose our minds in view of everything that is happening around us, as God composes His mind. Let us concern ourselves to do our own duty, and not allow ourselves to fret over the conduct of others. Let us try to reform them, and try to do them good, pity and pray for them, but by no means allow their evil doing to cause us to do evil, and to dishonor God. Always remember, don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.