Homo sapiens. Fox West. An animal the size of a chubby person. Coat coloration usually black, but occasionally seen in reds. Tends towards lethargy, unless being danced upon. Carnivorous.
What do they have in common? That's what this page is for. I hope to be able to shed at least a little light on why it is that I identify with these critters so. There are going to be some fairly esoteric concepts explored, and some religious themes as well, so if you're uncomfortable with alternative spiritualities you might want to look at some of my other pages.
Still here? Good. Now we can begin. To start with, I just want to get a few things out of the way. First, I am not species dysphoric. I do not believe that I am a fox in any way shape or form. I am human. I like it fine that way too. Let me put it to you this way. Would you give up rational thinking and opposable thumbs for the chance to have to eat a raw mouse? I wouldn't.
Second, I don't call myself Fox because of the X-files. David Duchovny, cute though he may be, is not an influence in my life. The truth may be out there, but I'm looking for it in other places.
Okay, now that that's out of the way we can get down to it. I spent a long time in my life being pseudo-Christian. I went to church with my mother most Sundays and even took a stab at reading the bible once or twice. It seemed a decent enough little book, but it didn't really click with me. So I gave up both in trying to read the thing, and in believing in the religion that bases itself on the text.
I spent a lot of years after that not really believing in much. I thought it might be cool to be a pagan or something similar, but that was mostly because of the crowd I was running with. This was in University. A lot of free spirited Goth types and so on. But that was never really right for me either. So I just went on wanting to believe in something, but not knowing what it was.
Now, set the wayback machine a couple of years earlier, before I got in to university. I discovered the furry community after reading an article in Wired magazine. The article was actually kind of one sided, but it led me to FurryMuck. There I created a character who I thought was the embodiement of me in this different world. And I made the same mistake so many of those around me do too.
I chose the wrong species for me. I created this big bad black wolf. But it wasn't me. I can see it now that I look back, and I know how silly it was for me to try to be this big scary black wolf guy. But wolf is a cool animal! Wolf is one of those ones that everyone wants to be. Like Tiger, Dragon and the other cool big animals.
But that was wrong for me too. It became an exercise in roleplaying rather than a way to express the real me. Not that that's a bad thing. I mean, I spend a lot of my time roleplaying and such, and it's a hoot. But Wolf wasn't something I could believe in. At least, not for me.
Then the revelation came. Most people tend to get these things from vision quests or during ordeals or something, but not me. My revelation came when I was sitting on the couch watching TV. I wasn't even thinking about anything remotely religious, but when the thought came, I knew what it meant. And the thought was this:
"So it's Fox, is it? Okay. Where's the pie"
At that moment I realized that Fox speaks to me, always has. I don't mean that there's a little cartoon animal on my shoulder who tells me what to do. I just live a foxy sort of life. I'm cute (or so I'm told...), fluffier than I have any business being, and prone to stealing chickens whenever I can.
It's not so much a religious belief either. It's just the way it is. Or then, maybe it is a religious thing. I don't know, I have no experience to compare it too. I never believed in the religion I was a part of in my youth, so I don't really know what religious belief feels like. Maybe this is it. Is religion something you tell yourself is true, or is it something that just is and you know it's right? Would someone who has faith please talk to me about this?
Anyways, I know I'm Fox. I guess were I pressed I'd say I'm a fox shaman. But I don't have any particular rituals to celebrate her. I don't go to my church once a week to pray to Fox. I don't have any particular incantations to invoke her. I just live the way I do and celebrate her with a good meal, or by curling up and snuggling someone friendly, or by a clever turn of phrase. All in all, it's a good way to live.
As for the pie, I don't know where that came from. All I know for sure is that foxes loooooove pie. :)
The Fox Box. A very cute site about the critters in general.
The Swift Fox. A well done site about the attempts to reintroduce a species of fox that had vanished from Canada in the 1900s. Chock full of good links too.
The Fox Forest. A good site to get pictures, sounds and video of foxes being foxy.
Foxtrot's Kitsune Lore. A site of stories about the Kitsune, Japanese fox spirits.