Limericks
Part 5 of 5
Synopsis: No plot whatsoever. Busted up and confined to the infirmary, SG-1 finds a way to pass the time. Don't they always?
Limericks V
"The mission offworld was a hit,
Until we got thrown in a pit
A cell of detention
Quite good at retention
Of rainwater, garbage, and—"
"How in the world did you know?"
"Know what, Cameron? I didn't know we'd get tossed—"
"Not that, Vala. I'm talkin' about the rhyme."
"Oh! General O'Neill told me about it! Back when the four of you got back from Planet Dreamland, he came by the infirmary and told me that if any of you had been awake—"
"Great. He tells you but not me?"
"I think that was the least of what he forgot to tell you about joining the team."
"Oh, so you are awake, Jackson! I thought you were asleep with all that snoring I kept hearing."
"Not snoring. I'm just so congested, I can't breathe properly."
"That would be because of the pneumonia, which is why you should all be resting and not rhyming."
"Well, I'll be... Doctor Lam! I didn't see you there. Care to join us?"
"For the last time, Colonel, no. Somehow these poetry battles always end up with additional injuries beyond those that landed you in here in the first place."
"There once was a poem free-for-all—"
"Colonel Carter..."
"Whose results, the doc did apall
Although in good fun
No one'd be out-done
So it wound up an SG-1 brawl."
"Amazing. I didn't know anyone could scare off the CMO!"
"I've—we've had practice. Lots."
"I bet. Now where were we? Oh, yes! As team leader, I'm supposed to go first, but Vala beat me too it."
"Really? General O'Neill didn't tell me that part."
"Right. Okay, here we go! There once was a team of Tau'ri—"
"Oh, I'm not Tau'ri."
"Nor am I."
"Stick with me here. There once was a team of Tau'ri
Who went to P14-423
They rescued SG-1
When the team couldn't run
'Cause they'd been tossed in a pit of debris."
"There was a considerably greater quantity of mud than debris, Colonel Mitchell."
"And did you see the look on Colonel Reynolds' face when he realized the moving mud piles were us?"
"I did, Sam... he hasn't looked that surprised to see anything
since he recognized me on Vis Uban. When SG-3 found us in our 'cell'
They were speechless, unable to tell
What's person, what's ooze—
Until something moves—
'Cause you sure can't rely on the smell!"
"Oh, you got that right. I've had three showers and I still smell like that place."
"I am unable to discern the difference, Colonel Mitchell."
"Is that a joke? You're doing the eyebrow thing, that means it's a joke, right?"
"Although raising an eyebrow does irk
Ones who misunderstand the quirk
I would like to set straight
The eyebrow does translate
To the Jaffa version of a smirk."
"Ooh, I like that."
"Should the rest of us be worried by how buddy-buddy Teal'c and Vala are getting?"
"Nope. Just you, Mitchell."
"I'm sensing a conspiracy."
"Oh, you betcha."
"General?"
"Jack!"
"I heard you'd all decided to go for that mud facial special at the '423 spa."
"Mud facial?"
"Wrong kind of mud, Vala."
"Oh."
"Anyhow, I thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing. Oh, and Mitchell?"
"Sir?"
"When you accepted leadership of these folks
You learned they live by diff'rent strokes
What you failed to heed
Was the fine print that agreed
You'd also be the butt of their jokes."